Would anyone here mind telling me how they managed to be romantically successful in college? In other words, just share your story.
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Would anyone here mind telling me how they managed to be romantically successful in college? In other words, just share your story.
i'm not in college, yet, but i can't wait! i'll be a freshman this fall.
Well I never really got to serious with anyone in college mostly I didnt fit the whole role of "playing" girls like for the whole one night stand thing. I just dont like it. So mostly I would make sure to leave a positive impression on them and let them come back to me wanting more.
There's no great secret to it DM. Uni (College) was a great stomping ground, it's like this inexhaustible pool of available women. They won't just fall in your lap, but goddamn it doesn't get much easier. Some I'd advice I'd give is this:
1) Unless you're getting some red hot signals from them, forget about the glamour. There's one in every class, and she'll have losers tripping over themselves to share notes, discuss the lecture - all that bullshit. Don't worry about her.
2) Go up and talk to as many girls as you can. Sit next to them in class, ask them how're they're finding the lecturer. It really is that easy.
ah shit I've got too much work to do to type out a whole list, basically what I was getting to is, have a go, talk to as many women as you can without thinking about banging them. Don't even think about sex. Just stay relaxed, and if there's chemistry things'll happen for themselves. Especially if you're not experienced, just focus getting so that you can talk to girls like they're human beings and not walking bestowers of intercourse.
Charlie's right- get yourself out there and exposed to as many girls as possible. The more comfortable you are around them, the better.
If you get a job, try to do it where you will maximize your girl exposure (tutoring center, student services, something like that.)
I strongly recommend involving yourself in some kind of sport to build confidence and keep yourself looking good. My bf rowed crew in college and you can still tell- he's got great shoulders.
Don't expect too much from 18-year-old girls, DM. Just have fun and be careful.
SEX!
just kidding. i seriously wonder how many girls will be into graphic design and german... and me.
i'll be working through college as a web designer.
well i was the nerd and i was forever in the library. my SO didn't even know where the library was. he used to come (without telling his friends) so that he could see me an we could talk and stuff but come on its the library. lol but thats how we sorta started talking. in the end i never got any work done in the library.
if you want to meet girls on a more articulate level try the library. ask to carry her books? lol i'm more a softie for that kinda thing
haha actually im not at university yet, but in montreal they have a lvl between college/university and high school which last 2 yrs, (callec cegep, which is a long french acronym) and there is a lot of German exchange students.. lol a lil german can go a long way im told in general conversation with them..Quote:
Originally Posted by lilwing [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Definitely though talk to as many ladies as possible when the chance comes up, dont run up to every female in site, but be friendly..
Thanks for the replies.
I won't be working at college. Maybe I should get a job there just to meet people... The only program I know I'm doing for sure is ROTC, and I think there will probably be quite a few more guys than girls there.
A friend of my family just graduated from Cornell this year, but he's going to grad school somewhere else. Too bad, cause he went to parties and stuff.. :(
First couple weeks will be crucial, because none of the freshmen will know each other at that point.
OK so the girl I left a message for to see if she was still planning on coming to my grad party did not respond. I saw her (of course) at the graduation ceremony today and gave her a couple of hugs and asked if she was still coming, she has to work until 7 but I think she will.
I don't know I'm beginning to think she just wants to be my friend. Is there any way tell if it is friends or better than friends that she would be OK with? I have so few friends already that if I ask her out too soon and she backs away, that would not be something I would want to do. I think I'll invite her to come over to my house sometime soon and let her get to know me better before I do that. Like I said I'm not a conversationalist and I think some people think I am "boring". How little do they know... :evil: So maybe I can show her how interesting I really am. And AFTER that, ask her out. Cause she doesn't know me well at all right now (**** hardly anybody does)
So yeah tomorrow is my grad party and my relatives and some friends are coming and she will try to go there. I guess if she doesn't then she might not like me very well. Like I said I'm not a conversationalist and people don't think I'm that interesting. I hope it isn't awkward but I'll drink a little to relax.
Speaking of which, I should be out right now with my classmates getting drunk or high (but not both).
When I'm around her I get those gentle waves of pleasantness and happiness you get when you start taking a cap of MDMA. I used to feel them a lot stronger until I started feeling like shit all the time.
OK I'm not going to ask her out prematurely I decided, it wouldn't be fair to her if she didn't even know me well enough in the first place. But how long should you know someone for before you ask them out? I have no idea what is considered acceptable
Five minutes. I am not kidding. How far down the road to the Friend Zone do you want to go?
I have dated guys who made their interest in me clear within 30 seconds of meeting me. It's really flattering when you meet a guy and he says, right off the bat, "Hi. Will you go out with me?" Especially if you get the impression he doesn't do this every day. Actually, that part is really important.
Anyway, DM, you don't need more female aquaintances who you aren't likely to stay in touch with after this summer. You need a date. Go get a date.
Five minutes, I had no clue.
He didn't say exactly "Hi, will you go out with me?" right? What do these guys say, more precisely, when they ask you out within 5 minutes?
I'm not sure if I have the looks or charisma to pull off something like that. My voice is kind of monotone and sometimes people think my compliments are insincere when they are not. But I will definitely try that. Where is a good place for asking out girls? I have very few friends and no single circle of friends that I hang out with so I would be by myself when this would happen. Mall maybe? Since that one other girl doesn't really like me I'll call up my ski buddy and tell him. He said he would try and hook me up, he has a number of female friends, cause he is good looking and funny.
He said, "Wow. You're really pretty. Will you go out with me?" I said no, and laughed.Quote:
Originally Posted by DoesntMatter [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
But I came back to the store where he worked. Eventually, he got into my pants.
Yup. It's true.
Man how the hell !!!
Did he look like Brad Pitt?
No, he was just a little better than average.
He was really flattering, though. Focused on me like a tiger after it's prey. God, I loved it! I'm reasonably cute, but I don't usually get men coming up to me and saying things like that. FYI, it's very effective.
You know the first thing my boyfriend ever said to me was, "You know you're a total babe, right?" I'm sure I posted that. Well, clearly, that cheesy line went a long way with me. I'm STILL sleeping with that guy.
Don't try to slide in sideways as a friend, checking to see if you've got a green light every two steps. Confidence is riveting.
I agree with everything Giga said.
I didn't try to slide in sideways as a friend with that other girl, I didn't even start liking her until after I knew her for like half of a year. I couldn't help that.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gigabitch [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I really don't think I would be able to come out so bold like that. One of the hardest things I have with girls I like is that I sometimes panic when I try being that direct and flirtatious. I used to get panic attacks after being in other situations, like being in the middle of a big open hall when someone started walking towards me. Now I get them more often in situations like that, which sucks because I turn as red as a ****ing tomato and sweat until my shirt is like a mop for about 5 minutes, which I know makes them think "WTF is wrong with this freak?". This happened at an old job I used to have, I got a panic attack and this one girl my age who worked there saw which is embarrassing as hell. Later when she walked past me she just said "You're weird". I should have killed that bitch. Comments like that got me upset more back then than they do now, obviously
i like to be friends with a girl before i take her out on a date. in the past, i have wasted a lot of money taking girls out that weren't worth my time.
i've never just gone up to a girl and said 'you know you're a babe, right?' not because i'm nervous or anything, but i don't think it's polite. i would be offended if a girl came up to me and said 'you are a stud!'
Are you kidding me!?!? That would be ****ing AWESOME!Quote:
Originally Posted by lilwing [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I want to start weightlifting like Neo now and get a good body so that might happen
no, i'm not kidding you. i think it's very obnoxious and the tone disgusts me. i appreciate comments in a more polite tone but " LIKEOMG URRR SUCH A STUD!!!!!!11" no, shut the **** up, i don't want to hear that.
Heh, well I'd love to hear that. I guess we're all different
i don't understand. i would go out with an ugly girl that says "you're a really wonderful guy. i wish every guy was like you" than a sexy girl that says "you're a hot sexy stud!" wouldn't you? maybe i am crazy.
Not everybody is good at being flirty. If this is the case for you, then try being sincere and direct instead.
(insert girl's name), the more time I spend with you, the more I find myself becoming attracted to you. What would you say if I were to ask you on a date to (insert cool date idea that you are sure she would enjoy).
Giga the straight up thing actually works? If so I should try that. I basically do it with giving girls compliments if I do give one to them.
Well, I just finished freshman year.
I dated for the first time in college, as I was too stressed out in high school to date... also I was one of them nerdy kids in high school that you just won't expect to find dates. Well, let me tell ya'll high schoolers, being nerdy in high school pays dividends later on. Anyways, I randomly met the girl while campaigning for class president in college. Chatted a bit, got her number, called her a few weeks later, hung out till like 3 am when I had a student council conference the following day... things went on from there, we became really good friends. Got some free tickets to a fancy orchestra performance from my school (we were really pampered), asked her out, went, treated her to dinner too. That was the first real date I had ever gone on in my life. Hung out even more, as the year dragged on, I began disliking the school. Academics were catching up to a lot of my time, student council was falling apart and as President, well, I took most of the shit. Nothing happened, as we remained good, chill friends.
The night before I went home for winterbreak, she called me and told me she still owe'd me "teas and hugs" that she still owed me. She had refused to hug me before--interesting girl. I was hanging with a male friend that night, but i was like... sure... come on over. My male friend left at about 2 am, she stayed for another hour. She hugged me before I left for the airport, and it was a real embrace. ya know, not like one of those casual hugs you get. I also told her that night that she was pretty... or something along those lines when i was a little drunk and very tired.
after winterbreak, we hung out more. One day, about 2-3 weeks before valentine's, i got so fed up with getting my emotions holed up... I asked her to read me the bible in a dorm stairwell (don't ask). then i just told her i found her attractive. then she ignored me. after-awhile, I'm like... "so what do you think?" she said "think of what?" i said "what I just said" then i told her i wanted to be in a relatioship with her. I said it's fine she rejected me, i expected it. She didn't.
Next day, i was shocked at what I had gotten myself into (there are many, many reasons why I doubted the relationship. the majority had to do with myself) the next night, we watched a movie... cuddled in my bed (the night before was the first time I ever held-hands romantically with a girl before)... a friend walked in... kind of awkward since I'm still the stereotypically "nerdy" (well, 4.0) go-getter student council president dude. So later on, stuff happened between her and I. Nothing sexual, or anything like that... that made me realize i couldn't take this relationship, because I knew I was leaving the school by the end of the year as I didn't like it. I ended it that night.
I tried getting back together with her twice. but got turned down twice. Regretted my decision pretty much every night since then, but the regret has gotten much better in recent days. After she turned me down the second time, we didn't see each other for the next 3 months. Instead of pursuing other girls, I began focusing on my academics. Learning more than I ever have in my life, in fact taking double the number of classes allowed. I am thankful that I took that time to explore academia. But I also spent many nights shivering at what I had done.
fast forward to the end of freshman year. I was accepted as a transfer student into half-a-dozen of the most prestigious colleges in the country. I decided to forgo half of my euro-trip to go visit these colleges. I requested to stay at her house and have her drive me to visit one of the colleges. In reality, I just wanted to see her after not seeing her for 3 months. I stayed at her house, met her family. she drove me to the college. that night she told me she had gotten another boyfriend a month after we broke up. they split up before summer. she told me she never loved him, but instead still saw me as "more than a friend." I was heartbroken. The next day, on my way to visit another college i was accepted to, I cried on and off for hours. That was the first time I had actually cried other than from watching a movie in as long as I could remember. After my visit, she has completely ignored me online.
Now it's mid-way through summer. I just finished stressing about which college to attend like literally last week (cause I received another acceptance after I had made my first decision). I will be taking summer courses. I've been working a stressful job, and engaging in my past-time of philosophy, trying to open my mind.
I think I'm beginning to move on. Slowly, but long, long overdue.
ps: I find this post interesting, because I created my Love Forum account in senior year high school, when I was first stressing out about asking girls out. Hence the name Off2College.
Off2College I salute you, you are an inspiration to all of us recently graduated high schoolers who have never had a date.
I'm sorry things didn't go better later on in your relationship though...
So what college are you transferring to?
i saw a lot of women from my freshman college class today, at the orientation, and i gotta say, they all look like snobby bitches. i hope they're nicer than they seem...
i feel for you, offtocollege. i had a lot of dates in high school though, but i am very introverted, and pursuing a double major.
My sister goes to college at MSU (Michigan State University), and I gotta say the girls there were ****ing HOT! They have a very high Swedish population (relative to here, at least) and I think Swedish girls are gorgeous. I want to do study abroad there for that reason. At Cornell there are a lot of nerdy looking girls, but they seem shy and therefore cute. Some hot ones too though.
When my sister was checking out SUNY Albany I went there with them just for the hell of it, and there were way too many arrogant, snobby bitches from NYC.
Man, don't generalize too much, no matter where you go, there will be good/bad women. And don't choose a school becuz of ladies, make sure its what YOU want.. thats how you end up hating your classes in college and wishing you went into a dif program or wtv..Quote:
Originally Posted by DoesntMatter [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
And to lilwing, you never kno man, my orientation last yr i thought kind of the same thing about some girls in my program (about 40-45 of us with the same core classes together) and turned out that most of them are actually very nice, so you never kno..
all alone...I totally agree with you. I'm only 14 but i almost went to a private school that has an okay education just ot follow this girl that i liked. you just told my life story in that paragraph lol
Bleh, transferring to some Ivy League school...