I love my best friend...

Well, the title should explain it all.

I have been friends with this girl I've known since we were about 5 (both 16 now, fyi.) About three years ago, we grew closer and started hanging out more, and she became the closest friend I have. But then, I developed "more then friendly" feelings for her.

I am afraid that if I confess this to her, she will look at me in a different light, and drift away. And honestly, that would probably kill me, because this is the one person I can really talk to.

To further complicate matters, I am extremely jealous of any guy she talks to. Not so much, "smash their face in jealous," but I can't stand it when she is friendly with someone else. I've even gone so far as to grow further away from one of my other good friends, because they hang out a lot (I'm usually around too.)

And to top it off, she loves the internet. Recently, she has found this guy on a forum she goes to named Steve. They email each other about what's going on in their lives. She usually makes a point to tell me when she gets an email, and once when she got an email that said he had broken up with his girlfriend, she told me really excitedly. She also tells all her other friends about the contents of these messages, but not me. She's taken to calling herself by his nickname for her (The Kiddo, he's 21.) I'd also like to point out that I am stringly against anyone meeting each other on the internet and wanting to meet in person. Especialy when that person is my 16-year old love interest...

But given her behavior about Steve, and being secretive about him around me but no one else, I've began to wonder if she is trying to play the jealousy card, and hinting that she likes me back (I've tried to drop subtle hints, compliments, more physical contact, etc.) Or could this be my lovestruck mind getting hopeful?

Sorry about the long post, but this has been on my mind for a while.

lol, if you just sit there and wait, she'll be taken. Your choice.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by MoreThanAFriend [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

To further complicate matters, I am extremely jealous of any guy she talks to. Not so much, "smash their face in jealous," but I can't stand it when she is friendly with someone else. I've even gone so far as to grow further away from one of my other good friends, because they hang out a lot (I'm usually around too.)

---

before you tell her you like her or anything, fix this flaw. being this jealous will ruin the relationship.

every day it will seem like you are arguing and she is trying to get with other guys and you will not trust her, even though she may be completely honest with you and all. you can't tie someone to a leash. one of the joys of love is the ability to allow them to do their thing and literally *know* that they won't try to hurt you.

loosen up a little in that area and then ask her out on a date. i think you got a fair chance. :)

Alright, maybe I sorta exxagerated the jealousy thing. i's more like, I really like to be the center of her attention, lol.

Oh, and thanks for telling me she'll get taken. [/sarcasm] If it were that easy, I would have just asked her out already....

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by MoreThanAFriend [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Oh, and thanks for telling me she'll get taken

---

hehe, its as simple as it sounds.

It's not that simple, because, as I've said, if she rejects me, I don't think our friendship would ever be the same. How could it be after something like that? She is basically my only real source of comfort in this world, she has helped me through some really hard stuff, with a messy divorce, debt problems, etc. It would kill me if that was just gone from my life.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by MoreThanAFriend [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

It's not that simple, because, as I've said, if she rejects me, I don't think our friendship would ever be the same. How could it be after something like that? She is basically my only real source of comfort in this world, she has helped me through some really hard stuff, with a messy divorce, debt problems, etc. It would kill me if that was just gone from my life.

---

yea, if you be straight up with her.

have a conversation with her about it.

"do you think we would make a great couple?"

how about looking into her eyes and saying "i really like you."

there is ways to do it without messing everything up.

did i miss something? you're 16 years old and she helped you through a divorce and debt problems?

oh, and everybody shares personal things on forums that they wouldn't share with family or real friends. don't take it personal dude, would you tell her that you came here?

^ Haha, what do you think?

With the divorce and such, my dad decided he would be much happier without his wife and kids and just left. I it were a clean cut, it may have been easier, but he kept contact with us, and it's like he is wanting us to approve of what he has done... But that's not the point of this topic, lol.

The debt problems came from the divorce problem, btw.

i don't think you're quite ready to go out with her, though.

i see many attributes in you that i see in my younger, 16 year old self with a past girlfriend.

here is my suggestion: don't take things so personally, don't be so jealous. don't make her the center of your universe. don't let these little things bother you.

when you don't care that your friend is talking to other guys, when you don't be nosey about things like what she posts on forums and all, you'll be ready to date. don't get all rushy.

and don't be offended by this post, i am just trying to tell you what i would've told myself years ago.

This whole situation is really confusing..... lol.

I think I should probably take your advice there, but I'm afraid that if I don't make a move, somebody else will...

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by MoreThanAFriend [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

This whole situation is really confusing..... lol.

I think I should probably take your advice there, but I'm afraid that if I don't make a move, somebody else will...

---

tell her you like her! don't say love, say like.

"i like you, i like you a lot."

see waht she does. if it gets dead silent and she stares at you like "waht the ****?" give it 3 seconds and then start giggling.

atleast you were honest with her, but it will look like you were kidding if she doesn't reciprocate.

if she likes you too, tell her that you want to date too, but you gotta work on a few personal issues before it happens.

I have never seen best friends date and it work out.

It seems to always be a guy when complaining that he likes his friend...probably because he isn't getting any closer to any other female so his friend must do.

Nah, remember Glyph and Sam? That was the girl pining after the guy.

Anyway, OP, be careful. This really doesn't often work out, and usually someone ends up getting shredded.

What I'm worried about is her getting shredded by Steve. He's 21, for God's sake. He's way too old for her. I don't think that's going to end well, and she's going to need you when it all hits the fan. Right now, you can't compete. He's five years older than you and he's new. She gets to feel like someone new around him. If she ever meets up with him in person, she had better glue her zipper shut. There is only one reason a guy that much older would be interested in a girl her age.

If you make the Big Confession right now, she'll cut you off completely. I think it's a good idea to tell her eventually (honesty- I'm a fan), but your timing sucks.