is she too young?

hi folks, i just wanted some advice and i wasnt sure who to ask, maybe one of you can help me...

i am a 20 year old male, im still a virgin, through part choice and part shyness. i havent really had a proper girlfreind before.

ive met this girl, i work for her dad, and really like the whole family, i get on great with them, including her little brother.

sorry, im rambling, basically what i want to ask is if its ok in your opinion for a 20 year old to be interested in a 15 (nearly 16) year old girl?

im worried about it, because i really really like her, and its not like i just want to screw her, i genuinley want to be with her.

we sat on the roof toghether looking at the stars wrapped up in a blanket, and i put my arm around her. i cant get her out of my head.

i think its fine to be with a 15 year old girl..as long as nothing happens sexually between you two..for legal reasons. heaps of my guy friends are around your age and a few of them have dated girls from highschool..one of which is still going strong (he's like 24 and has been going out with this girl for 5 years who is 19 now, but was 14 at the time). its just an issue of maturity to me. if you like her and she likes you..go for it my friend. Besides..she's only 4 years younger than you..my parents are like 6 years apart if that counts for anything. love has no age limit..sex however is a different story.

It's great that you're already getting along with the family. Goodluck to you!

I think that (assuming she is receptive), what her PARENTS think is really the most factor here. They have the power. You should ask them for permission to date their daughter, because they can cause a lot of legal problems for you if they don't approve.

For the record, I would not allow my 15 year old to date a 20 year old. Although you may be emotionally on the same level, the difference in sexual maturity would be a problem for me. But they know you... they may not mind.

You're too old for her. You can land yourself in jail too.

I say you can be her friend on her parents terms. There also should be no affection or the calling of each other "boyfriend and girlfriend." Because you are too old for her.

But to answer your question, is she too young...?

yes. for you she is too young.

I totally understand how you feel about his woman, but honestly you should wait a little while longer and really get yourself into college, it is a life building exercise and plus if you still feel the same way after a couple of years of college say once she turns 18 then see what happens.


RA

If you have to ask, then of course she is too young.

by all means, this question is totally up to you. i personally felt that i could never connect mentally with a girl who was that much younger than me. when i was hrmm.... 21, i dated someone who was 17. i know that it was just this girl that was dumb, but after that, i never went back to dating another high school girl after being in college.

raverboy

I'm 16 and my boyfriend is 20 and we get on really well. I can't date guys who are younger than two years older than me because it just.. doesn't work. She's obviously mature enough if you like her. And if she is nearly 16.. go for it. I was nearly 16 when I started seeing my boyfriend and although it can be awkward because I can't drive, can't legally do alot of things, my parents won't let me stay at his house etc... it's a good relationship. I think it's fine. Go have fun. I think it's definitely more to do with how mature she is in mind rather than in age. If she was 14 I'd probably say yeah ok back off a bit.. but seeing as she IS nearly 16.. you should be fine. I also think if you click, you click.. there's not alot you can do about it. And if you are a shy person then someone younger than you is usually better.

Its fine, my best friend was 16 when she met her boyfriend who was 21 at the time. she's now 22 and he's 27 and they're engaged.

...you actually want to screw her? even if you are genuine with her. don't even think about it. It might bite you in the ass. Find someone your own age. 5 years is nothing later on. But at her age, and yours. It's not worth it in my opinion.

LOL you work for her dad. If you try to go for her you may lose your job lol. But I'm 18 and I messed around with this 15 year old who is 16 now but damn she gots a body like she is over 20 lol.

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Originally Posted by kelly700 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Its fine, my best friend was 16 when she met her boyfriend who was 21 at the time. she's now 22 and he's 27 and they're engaged.

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how many couples do you know who are married, actually met and started dating in high school??

raverboy

Yes, you are too old.

Just to give you an idea, I'm 18 and a half, and I would consider 16 to be too young.

If you were 25 and she was 20, big whoop. But at age 15 even a 2 year difference is a lot.

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Originally Posted by naoki322 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

...you actually want to screw her?

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eventually, yeah of course. it would be a pretty stupid relationship if i wasnt interested in her sexually, no?

that doesnt mean however that i want to 'screw her' tomorrow or whatever. when shes a bit older, when she wants to take that step. im not just trying to jump in bed with her.

i have alot of respect for the fact that she is young, and i wouldnt pressure her to do anything that she didnt want to.

i appreciate the opinions shared. i think alot of you are american though, and you have to remember that laws are different here (portugal). 16 is considered a suitable age for sexual relations.

i remind you that i myself am not very sexually mature. although ive obvously been exposed to it and thought about it more than she has, i have not had a proper girlfreind before. im not some sex-crazed 20 year old hitting on a 15 year old. im a shy, in-experienced guy that has feelings for this girl. id like to have a relationship with her, i wouldnt have sex with a girl that i had only just met or that i wasnt already seriously involved with.

thats not some BS statement, as i have been in the situation before an turned it down.

i felt it was important to get some views on the age difference because its a subject i had been thinking about, and i didnt feel i could really ask anyone that i know (i dont have many freinds around my own age).

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Originally Posted by queitboy [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

eventually, yeah of course. it would be a pretty stupid relationship if i wasnt interested in her sexually, no?

that doesnt mean however that i want to 'screw her' tomorrow or whatever. when shes a bit older, when she wants to take that step. im not just trying to jump in bed with her.

i have alot of respect for the fact that she is young, and i wouldnt pressure her to do anything that she didnt want to.

i appreciate the opinions shared. i think alot of you are american though, and you have to remember that laws are different here (portugal). 16 is considered a suitable age for sexual relations.

i remind you that i myself am not very sexually mature. although ive obvously been exposed to it and thought about it more than she has, i have not had a proper girlfreind before. im not some sex-crazed 20 year old hitting on a 15 year old. im a shy, in-experienced guy that has feelings for this girl. id like to have a relationship with her, i wouldnt have sex with a girl that i had only just met or that i wasnt already seriously involved with.

thats not some BS statement, as i have been in the situation before an turned it down.

i felt it was important to get some views on the age difference because its a subject i had been thinking about, and i didnt feel i could really ask anyone that i know (i dont have many freinds around my own age).

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i say go for it. you seem pretty level-headed unlike a lot of guys who just want to **** a virgin then leave, ya know? im guessing she doesn't look to young for a 15 year old either, otherwise it would look like you'd be dating a child (even though she's still one by law). when i was 17 i went out with a 14 almost 15 year old and the parents were cool with me. even though near the end of our relatonship we butted heads, the family and i were still nice and the father was a quite a cool dude.

if the family is understanding and you are mature, i say "why not?"

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Originally Posted by queitboy [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

i appreciate the opinions shared. i think alot of you are american though, and you have to remember that laws are different here (portugal). 16 is considered a suitable age for sexual relations.

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This would've been good to know before hand. But thanks for clarifying.

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Originally Posted by Illusional [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

how many couples do you know who are married, actually met and started dating in high school??

raverboy

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my mum and dad lol. sad i know.

thanks, i appreciate the opinions. it has made me think about both sides of the argument.

i think shes too good to pass by. im not going to rush, just enjoy her company. if things develop then great, but i wont pressure her.

yeah, shes quite mature for her age, both in looks and personality. we are very alike in many ways, and we clicked. i havent clicked with anyone like that before, not even freinds.

i think i have to be patient. it feels like shes just the one ive been waiting for, just everything. ive been made to feel more welcome and more like part of the family than i ever was with my own.

im still open and interested to hear your thoughts.