Doesn't really get much worse...

Hey everyone...

Well, my story is a usual one I dated a girl I fell in love we broke up. Maybe some of you remember (I think Average Joe does) that I really wanted to be friends with the girl, we were good friends before we dated and I wanted it back... so did she as she said. As much as I tried I felt that she really ignored me, I felt that she held something in her against me and at a certain point I just broke down and told her that we can't be friends anymore. This really felt like crap and it still does...

Yesterday a week after I spoke to her my best friend told me that they have been secretly dating for couple of weeks. Sure I said I wish them luck and as much as he didn't want to loose our friendship I didn't promise him anything.

It sound like pretty typical situation in this forum, there are so many people with broken hearts and I don't know how different am I but it just really hurts... I know the usual response... I just... I'm just shattered

Ah....how are you not angry at anyone?

You're being so nice to two people that are susposed to care about you more then anyone...Couldn't they have come to you first? Even out of respect?

You say you want to try to save your friendships with them, but you're so close that they were secretly dating behind your back...doesn't really sound like friendships I'd want to save.

Get angry, feel human, tell people what you really feel instead of being so gosh darn accomodating. Guys like that get dated, eaten and spit out.

x

Yeah, f*ck them bitches.

Grab some gas and matches.

I am angry, angry at myself...

I did wish them luck to both, I said that because this brings me a lot of pain it shouldn't be for nothing, their relationship has to work... even though I know that it will not last. I know the people...

I really cared for the girl, it's painful to see her and not recognize the person I cared for so much.

I know it was all her initiative, but you just don't do that!!! You don't date your best friends ex!!!! It's so humiliating...

Yeah, friendship is dead... drama

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Originally Posted by littlewing [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I know it was all her initiative, but you just don't do that!!! You don't date your best friends ex!!!! It's so humiliating...

Yeah, friendship is dead... drama

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Exactly.

Don't even play nice with this prick.

Don't hang out with them, don't talk to them, and if they ask you what's up flip them off and tell them not to talk to you until they break up, at which point you'll have a party that neither are invited to.

You should be feeling really angry right now.

Savor it.

Savor? I don't really see anything to savor here, I am pretty shaken by the whole thing and I'm trying hard not to think about that.

... but thanks Fras

I enjoy being angry.

Gives me a kind of high that few other things can.

I'm trying to live vicariously through you.

C'mon, feed that anger.

He didn't even ask you to date her?

He went behind your back and started dating her in secret because he knew you wouldn't like it. Then he comes out expecting some kind of goodwill from you?

He doesn't deserve it.

Neither does that slut.

So, your best friend has been secretly dating your ex-gf for a few weeks now!?

I don't know about you, but I couldn't even call either of them "friends" ... You got played by your best friend ... F*ck that guy. Get better friends ...

And she's not worth any of your time ... How much of a bitch can she be? She broke your heart and now she's even attacked your support system by dating your "best friend" ... Wow ...

I would be planning a way to cuss both of them out at the same time ...

I am not the kind a guy who will seek revenge, I don't see point in that. I still believe in good ways to solve problems. The way I see it they are not that well off themselves right now.

All this week I was fighting myself to not get into a depression for breaking my friendship with the girl. This one would be a bit more tricky...

The worse it feels is in the mornings...

You don't have to be depressed about the girl ... She got rid of you and went for your best friend. You should be happy you're away from dumb bitches like her ...

And you know damn well that friendships after relationships don't just happen ... It could take years for that ... You don't break up with someone and say "Good times ... Alright cya! You go this way, I'll go that way ...." ...

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Originally Posted by littlewing [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I am angry, angry at myself...

I did wish them luck to both, I said that because this brings me a lot of pain it shouldn't be for nothing, their relationship has to work... even though I know that it will not last. I know the people...

I really cared for the girl, it's painful to see her and not recognize the person I cared for so much.

I know it was all her initiative, but you just don't do that!!! You don't date your best friends ex!!!! It's so humiliating...

Yeah, friendship is dead... drama

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Sometimes we are our own worst enemies. Don't be so hard on yourself. You did the right thing and really there's nothing to regret.

I have a friend in exactly the same situation as yours and it's sad that these things happen. The other friend who "stole" the ex of this friend and the ex are not in a very good relationship, actually the guy doesn't see them as being in relationship at all, just having a bit of fun. Because how can you be in a relationship with someone with questionable motives? That's what it comes down to in the end.

So yeh, you might have lost two friends, but what goes around comes around and they will get theirs in the end, most likely from each other. For you, it's good riddance to them. It doesn't sound like they were good friends anyway. I know it's hard to loose people who are close to us. But sometimes when these people aren't right you have to pull them off like a band aid. In the long run it's the best solution.

Thanks guys... you are all right whatever happened happened for the best. I'll try my very best to stay in one piece and hold my head up high...

Just a guy doing his time, happens to everyone...

Anyone can advice any good books? I don't do much where I work and I'm reading a lot, but I just haven't found my thing yet... maybe a book to help forget about this whole thing?

Honestly I didn't remember, I've got terrible memory. But I found the old thread.

Friends don't do that shit...**** them both.

Find new friends. I agree with Fras, I would have been ****ing pissed if my friend had did that to me. He broke your trust. Friendships, just like relationships, need trust. So it's not a friendship anymore. Maybe if he had asked you it would have been a different story. But he didn't even have the balls or courtesy to do that. That in my eyes is like one of the worst things a friend can do. It's like the equivalent to cheating in a friendship.

Don't pick up the phone, don't call them, ignore them...they don't exist. You deserve better than that. Go for a run, hike, bike, or something, just get your ass out of the house and do something. Get a punching bag or some wood and let out some anger. I wouldn't say be mean to them, but you definitely deserve to be angry. Don't let people walk all over you, grow a pair of balls and tell them what you feel. Then leave and never go back to that bullshit.

Sorry if I came off as an asshole...Fras is right, anger feels good sometimes. lol.

Friends don't date another friend's ex... unless he has ASKED permission from the friend and the friend has oked it. That behind the back shit is super weak.

Both of them suck. To hell with them both.

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Originally Posted by littlewing [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Thanks guys... you are all right whatever happened happened for the best. I'll try my very best to stay in one piece and hold my head up high...

Just a guy doing his time, happens to everyone...

Anyone can advice any good books? I don't do much where I work and I'm reading a lot, but I just haven't found my thing yet... maybe a book to help forget about this whole thing?

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Raymond E. Feist's 'Magician' - it's amazing and you will be completely absorbed in it. The best thing is that there's three other trilogies ^_^

So if you like it, there's loads more.

x

Guess I am really bad at hating people, even people that gross me out or do something bad to me I never hate anyone. Honestly I felt guilty today when I told my ex friend that we can't be friends anymore... as if I was the one to pull the plug

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Originally Posted by littlewing [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Guess I am really bad at hating people, even people that gross me out or do something bad to me I never hate anyone. Honestly I felt guilty today when I told my ex friend that we can't be friends anymore... as if I was the one to pull the plug

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When we hate we do more damage to ourselves than the people in question. So you're doing the right thing. What good will hating do anyway?

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Originally Posted by Mishanya [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

When we hate we do more damage to ourselves than the people in question. So you're doing the right thing. What good will hating do anyway?

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You're right ... hating doesn't get anyone anywhere, but you gotta admit he has a right to at least get pissed and angry.

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Originally Posted by Mishanya [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

When we hate we do more damage to ourselves than the people in question. So you're doing the right thing. What good will hating do anyway?

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Hate is like adrenaline.

Good in the short-term.

Bad in the long-term.