This so-called "maturity"

OK so on the issue of maturity, what girls often claim guys don't have and want more of...

I don't think these girls even know what maturity is on a deeper basis than how a guy acts in social settings, in bed, or one of the other layers of intimacy that seems to be all girls my age know. Are they confusing general maturity with specifically "sexual maturity" or maybe just experience?? That seems to be it, they're fuccking confusing words. Or let's talk about actions. Girls think when a guy acts in ways, such as simply a dudes mannerisms, that if he is acting how older guys do he is more mature

For me, I see him as mature when I am talking to him and we question each other in debates and he have a realistic point of view about things and behave accordingly. He is mature when he can be dependable, honest, and hold himself accountable for his actions and does not have to blame the world for everything that happens to him. To me, maturity is being realistic--he thinks long and hard about his beliefs/values and why he have those beliefs/values.

DM-having been through some tough dating, I've found men in all brackets in all ages and they all act differently. I think some women who are college bound want a man whose done partying done screwing a different person every week, etc. I don't think some womens perception of maturity deals with sex explicitly. It's in the overall package of a man. What he's done with his life or not done.

It also depends on a females age and their experiences. A woman throughout her life will change what is important to her based on her relationship experiences. Every relationship dictates what they bring or don't bring to the next relationship. If a woman doesn't want someone who plays video games all the time she sure as hell will probably look to find someone whose not into them. Or if they date someone whose partying every weekend and they don't like it, they find someone whose not a big partier.

Maturity probably differs from woman to woman. And every woman depending on where they are in life will look at certain things in a man. If she's ready to settle down and have a serious relationship, the last person she'll look for will be someone whose not settled down. Women can also be immature. I think this goes both ways.

Every woman has their preferences and every man has theirs too. Maturity might be based on what the woman is looking for in that particular moment in her life.

All you talk about mans maturity, but you know it is very damn hard to find a matured woman who hasn't gone grandma yet.

funny thing is, everyone always considers themselves mature. i'm mature in some ways, but totally immature in others, for example emotionally.

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Originally Posted by twisted [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

funny thing is, everyone always considers themselves mature. i'm mature in some ways, but totally immature in others, for example emotionally.

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As am I. I'm mature when it comes to some of the old fashioned morals, but immature when it comes to how stubborn I am.

I'm socially immature but mentally mature

And I look immature, which is the big killer

I think by "mature" many younger girls mean that the guy knows how to work them. Knows how to press their buttons, because they know very little about themselves.

I find myself being immature (too playful/silly) around my SO.

for me, mature means knowing exactly what u're doing (taking calculated risks) , and being responsible in doing it. there's alot more about maturity, but i think those i mentioned are the top 5 ones on the list.

who wants to be "mature." it means you're done growing and you're really close to death.

now that i think about it, mature sounds like it comes from the spanish word matar, which means to kill. or muero, which means dead.

Or "manure" which means shit

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Originally Posted by misombra [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

who wants to be "mature."

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[Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I think girls at our age (college), girls are looking for guys that are more mature because they find that attractive. I've come to realize people in college are going through a major change in their life and feel that by being around others that are older looking, sexually active, and act older, they in turn, feel older. This is almost like a step people want to take from the high school teen years, to an adult life. They're trying to be something their not in other words.

Ironically people that usually do this tend to be immature. Usually associated with illegal activities like underage drinking, and dui. This is usually why girls at our age tend to prefer guys that look older. Because they want to be, what they think is, more mature.

Hi DoesntMatter
I’m sorry if thus seems like a flame, but its not.
How are you mentally mature exactly? Can you give some examples? I have read some of your posts and you are crude and frequently use profanity. How old are you? It may seem cool and mature to curse all of the time at a young age, but as you get older, I think most people realize that a vocabulary full of four letter words is far from mature.
You mention that you are “socially immature,” why is that? You aren’t one of those kids that were locked up inside of his father’s basement in Austria. Why don’t you do anything about it instead of complaining about it online? Maybe you don’t know how to make friends and you are awkward around people? So what? Do something like volunteer work, you will get to meet people and there wont be too much pressure on you because you are helping other people out so they will be grateful to have you (yes even you) around. Develop hobbies, get really good at something, and something that’s not nerdy, because face it, not too many hot girls are gonna be impressed if you are a level 7 Dungeon Master or whatever..You just need to work on gaining more self confidence. Try getting a makeover…it really works, get a new haircut, some better clothes and work out, I’m sure you could stand to look better..then maybe you would not feel as shy around girls. You really have to just become more comfortable with yourself so that you can become comfortable around others. Find out what you dislike about yourself and change it. It may be hard, but you can do it..

I think people can be mature with the ability to act immaturely when they feel it's okay to ... I think timing makes a difference ...

Like, I'm getting on with my life pretty well and accomplishing things, but it doesn't mean I won't squeeze in a perverted joke here and there ... and some people think that's immature.

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Originally Posted by DoesntMatter [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I'm socially immature but mentally mature

And I look immature, which is the big killer

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But how do you know it?


How does one know when he/she is mature? I'd like to know too.

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Originally Posted by iamashrimp [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

It may seem cool and mature to curse all of the time at a young age, but as you get older, I think most people realize that a vocabulary full of four letter words is far from mature.

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That is actually a good point you bring up. At my age girls would consider guys with a squeaky-clean vocabulary to be a sign of immaturity. Or maybe not immaturity, but at least something to be avoided, seeing as a lot of the guys who score chicks usually talk like sailors. But *some* older people look at a persons language as a mark of their maturity or, worse, intellect. People who do that are judgmental and probably suck at math and science if they think they can tell so much from how a persons talks. I consider these people pretentious. But it depends on the setting… I don’t talk how I do on an internet forum the same way I do in front of my mom, professors, strangers, or acquaintances. Mainly just in the presence of my friends or if humor is at stake. And I consider LF people my friends

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Originally Posted by iamashrimp [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

How are you mentally mature exactly? Can you give some examples? I have read some of your posts and you are crude and frequently use profanity. How old are you?

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See, right now I could be a wiseass like I would be in front of my friends and tell you I’m old enough to knock up your mom. But we’re being kind of serious right now, so I’ll just give a real answer and tell you I’m 19

But I consider myself mentally mature because I know what it takes to manage myself, my future, and my goals, and am doing a good job of keeping all my ducks in a line without needing people to tell me what to do. Even when I first left for college my parents knew I’d do fine and just told me “You know what to do” in regards to everything college or other things could bring. And I’m very responsible with my money

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Originally Posted by iamashrimp [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You mention that you are “socially immature,” why is that? You aren’t one of those kids that were locked up inside of his father’s basement in Austria. Why don’t you do anything about it instead of complaining about it online? Maybe you don’t know how to make friends and you are awkward around people?

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I’m extremely comfortable around my friends, it’s making friends that is hard. Most guys, from the nerdy to the popular ones, end up liking me. The girls don’t end up liking me. The population is cut in 2 along gender lines, and only 1 is easy to befriend

No, you know what I consider a sign of immaturity? The kids sitting behind me in lecture this morning who are actually entering their senior year of college, complaining about the material that we have to learn. You know what? You signed up for a course, material is gonna be taught in it, it was your choice, the material is more than masterable, it involves nothing more than doing a little reading in the book and going over some lecture notes. You know what you have to do and the path is just sitting there, you can see it, just go and do it

I see these people every day. They get A-s, some B-s, but yet they complain how they managed it, how shitty they are etc. Damn attention seekers.

DoesntMatter,
I'm not sure if you want my advice but here it is:

Making friends will become easier with a little confidence and some practice.

Do you talk to random people like in the elevator or in a long line? I think it’s the easiest to raise comfort level when talking to strangers because there is no pressure as you will probably not see the person again and the whole exchange will only last for a few minutes at most. Try making eye contact and smiling at the bank teller, taxi driver or the cahier and ask them how their day is going, people in service almost always are respectful (except in kmart but hey what can you do) , so the mini conversations with strangers will give you confidence that will translate into more personal interactions at other times in your life.

I’m in college too, and I think its pretty easy to make friends in class, make study groups, when someone needs a pencil let them borrow it and then if they don’t give it back, ask for it during the next class and tell them that they owe you one..does your college have a gym or lounge? Are you in any clubs? Joining clubs are any easy way to met people with similar interest as you. College is a really good time for self improvement and discovery and is wish you the best.

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Originally Posted by DoesntMatter [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I’m extremely comfortable around my friends, it’s making friends that is hard. Most guys, from the nerdy to the popular ones, end up liking me. The girls don’t end up liking me. The population is cut in 2 along gender lines, and only 1 is easy to befriend

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When you say girls don’t like you do you mean they don’t like you romantically, or irls just don’t like you in general and you have no girls that are friends? Do you try to make friends with girls that you find attractive or do you try to befriend girls that aren’t too hot but have a good personality too? Have you ever asked anyone who knows you in person why they think that girls don’t like you?

I’m 21 just so you know. My boyfriend is a bit socially awkward too... he was sooo sweaty and turned red when we first met (I approached him) and I had to ask him for his number because he was too nervous to ask me…so I kinda understand what you are going through.