My bf is away and i can't stop thinking about him :(

Okay so I've been with my bf for about 2 months now, we've been frnds for around 9 months now. Anyway since last feb I've been spending soo much time with him, first as frnds then as lovers. I spent every single day with him for the past 3 weeks. On sunday he left for a summer program in california, for two months!!! I mean it's been like 2 days not even since he's left and it's unbearable. I have so much stuff to do but I just can't get myself to do it.
I dunno how to deal with it, I have moments where I wish he we were not datin at all, but then I love him a lot, and being with him both as frnds and as lovers has been the most amazing experience for me. I'm sure a lot of you would call me silly but if soul mates exist he would have to be mine. I really hope things work out between us, But now I'm straying from the topic, How do I deal with this? How do I feel better. I mean just the way I got used to being with him all the time, I'll get used to not seeing him much, but in the meanwhile how do i get myself to quit moping and get off my ass??

He's really buzy so we won't get to talk much either.

How old are you both?

And only two months? That's nothing. It'll fly by in no time at all. Just keep busy. You can not let your whole world revolve around him.

Cain I'm 22 and he's 23. My world doesn't revolve around him, it's just that I've been seeing him a lot lately and it's kind of a shock I guess not seeing him all of a sudden.plus we just started dating so we're in the stage of the relationship where we wanna be together 24/7 so it's harddd :(

You not being able to do anything that you have to do because you miss him so bad... in my opinion is another way of saying your world revolves around him.

You'll get over it. If you let yourself stay busy you won't miss him as much. I WISH that I would be able to be living with my gf again in two months.

Be happy he's not moving over there for good, you know?

haha kk well my world revolves around him a lil bit right now, i know it could be MUCH worse, but I guess if you cut yourself by mistake knowing your arm could have fallen off instead doesn't make the cut less painful.
I know what you are saying tho, and it is only two months, but when you are not working/in school/vacationing things get hard. I even started stalking one of my exes! That is just pathetic.
We made lil videos together so we could watch them when we are away from each other, but now watching them hurts even more! lol!

It's just 2 months, occupy yourself and those days will just fly by.
At least you found someone that likes you, guys would love to find a girl like that.

P.S. Stop obsessing over it, just think how much better
you are right now, not having to deal with your ex's.

Do you have suggestions as to what I can do to occupy myself? I'm going on vacation all of next week, so I should be fine then(although during that time I won't get to Talk to him at all, only txts) and then a week after that i will be heading out to another country for a monthish, where no contact at all! except occasional e-mails. Sux!

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Originally Posted by P1kaboo [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I even started stalking one of my exes! That is just pathetic.

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what? how does that even make sense? don't you have any friends? your ex should be a last resort, unless you've both moved on and are on friendly terms.

if you feel the need to talk to someone close, and your ex is the only person you feel close enough to talk to, make sure it stays online or just over the phone and not in person. you don't want to be tempted to do anything while your bf is away, that's not fair to either of you

I thik this time apart will be good for you guys....you need to learn how to be without him. After I'd been dating my bf for 2 1/2 month, I went to Vietnam for three weeks, and I missed him....but it also made me appreciate having a life beyond him.

One of the most essential things in a relationship is having a life without the other person and being comfortable with them not being there. You said you have lots of stuff to do....so go do it! He's not coming home for two months, so that should give you plenty of time to get done what you have to do.

Make sure that you still make time for your friends and your own personal hobbies while he's home, too. So many people ditch their own lives for their partners, and then when they break up they find that most of their friends are pissed off at them for being ditched all the time for the bf or gf.

Okay haha I guess that came off worse than it is. I'm over my ex and we're not frnds either, I was just curious to what he's upto. I do have frnds but they are buzy during the week. I also have a lot to do, just so disinterested. I mean all i have been doing is sitting on teh couch going on his fb them mine then browing random websites, it feels like we freakin broke up or sumthing. I hope this will go away soon!!!

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Originally Posted by bluesummer [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Make sure that you still make time for your friends and your own personal hobbies while he's home, too. So many people ditch their own lives for their partners, and then when they break up they find that most of their friends are pissed off at them for being ditched all the time for the bf or gf.

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I totally agree with you on that, it's just that we knew he was going away so I guess we spent a LOT of time together, so it's a bit of a shock to the system. I definitely did ignore my frnds for those 3 weeks and I felt horrible for that. But that was temporary. I really hope this time apart will make us stronger and not weaken the bonds we just started to form. that's my biggest fear.

Well I work nights, and my bf and my friends all work days, so there's no one around for me, either. Know what I did today? I went out and had lunch (yes,alone), went to the golf course and hit some balls, and worked out a little. Find some ways to fill your time. Your world shouldn't come to a stop because your bf and your friends aren't available.

Thank you :) I shall get off my butt too :)

i hope that he cheats and you and you learn not to be so damn dependable.

people who can't live their lives on their own only remind me of little children. they don't want to grow up and they don't want to think for themselves. you are so worried that you are not spending every single moment together that you don't really realize that when two people are apart, your bf finally has time to breath. he might be the same dumbass that loves to spend every single minute together or is he? he went off to pursue his education. so why don't you wish him the best of luck and grow some independence.

raverboy

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Originally Posted by Illusional [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

i hope that he cheats and you and you learn not to be so damn dependable.

people who can't live their lives on their own only remind me of little children. they don't want to grow up and they don't want to think for themselves. you are so worried that you are not spending every single moment together that you don't really realize that when two people are apart, your bf finally has time to breath. he might not be the same dumbass that loves to spend every single minute together or is he? he went off to pursue his education. so why don't you wish him the best of luck and grow some independence.

raverboy

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I have no idea why you need to be so rude, unless you define your rudeness as a reality check. I didn't say I can't live my life on my own, I just miss him that's all! Is that a cardinal sin? Our relationship is new so obviously we'd like to spend a lot of time together. Wanting to spend time together doesn't make either him or me a dumbass. I do wish him the best of luck. He chooses to spend time with me, I don't force him, so cheating would be outta the question. If I come here 2 years later and make this same post maybe your answer will apply Or if I'm back here next week and I still haven't gotten off my butt maybe then I'll need to hear what u said(except for the cheating part, that is a really pointless comment). But right now it's plain mean. If I wanted to smother him, I'd be calling him in class and liek 24/7 and texting him like a maniac, and bitching to him for "neglecting" me. I tell himm I miss him but I only talk to him when he finds the time to call and I let him txt first. Independence doesn't mean I should rid myself of all feeling, and quite honestly, I don't mind depending on him a lil bit, it's comforting. Thanks for the reply I'l pretend you meant well.

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Originally Posted by P1kaboo [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I tell himm I miss him but I only talk to him when he finds the time to call and I let him txt first. Independence doesn't mean I should rid myself of all feeling, and quite honestly, I don't mind depending on him a lil bit, it's comforting.

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not all guys find it annoying. maybe he would actually like it if you called him more often, and maybe he would think twice before going to a trip if he knew just how important he was in your life right now.

Illusional had a good message. in other words, you're feeling very attached for someone you know for such a short while. what's the deal? was your previous relationship with a less attractive or successful guy? was your last relationship abusive? are you looking to get married? were you hurt by a guy in your life? bills to pay? stress from school and work? whatever it is, you should deal with it separately and not look at this relationship as a cure to any other issues.

you sound like you're someone who worries too much. just try and relax and don't let other thoughts or issues from your life get in the way of things

I wish I could be left alone for 2 months. I say live it up while you can!

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Originally Posted by gennady28 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

there's nothing much you can do exept cheat on him and forget him

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Your posts have been absolute shit ever since you got here. What exactly is your purpose here?

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Originally Posted by Cain [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Your posts have been absolute shit ever since you got here. What exactly is your purpose here?

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Who posted that?

He's right, asparagoose. Gennady appearsto be a spammer who is trying to gain enough posts to be allowed to post links to another forum.

He made his first post in another thread and tried advertising something. When he realized he couldn't make a link until he posted 15 times, he began posting stupid, random things in other threads including "i don't know why i'm writing here" in order to hit 15. Then he posted a link to his shitty website 5 times and made a thread about it.

I reported the spam to the mods.

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Originally Posted by shh! [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

He's right, asparagoose. Gennady appearsto be a spammer who is trying to gain enough posts to be allowed to post links to another forum.

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There has to be some way to prevent that.

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Originally Posted by Cain [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

He made his first post in another thread and tried advertising something. When he realized he couldn't make a link until he posted 15 times, he began posting stupid, random things in other threads including "i don't know why i'm writing here" in order to hit 15. Then he posted a link to his shitty website 5 times and made a thread about it.

I reported the spam to the mods.

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They should realize that nobody visits their sites anyway. They're just wasting their time.

i can think of heaps of things to do if my boyfriend goes away. do you have any friends??shopping? gym? get a job?

I understand you P1kaboo (except for the stalking the exs part), my bf is going away in a few days (only for 3 weeks) but it is still making me sad just thinking about it. He went away for like a month and a half last summer and to take my mind off of it I just went running a lot, which was good because I was super ft when I met him again. I think working out is the best thing to do to distract yourself. Try takng dace lessons or something. Right now at a lot of gyms cardio striptease classes are really hot, you should learn a sexy dance routine to suprise your bf when you see him again.

haha i didn't really mean to be nice when i posted that. i'll be honest.

i just bring a different spectrum to the forums. what people won't tell you. besides, cheating is always an option.

raverboy

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Originally Posted by iamashrimp [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Right now at a lot of gyms cardio striptease classes are really hot, you should learn a sexy dance routine to suprise your bf when you see him again.

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Hmm I really like that idea!! Thanks a lot! I won't be in town for the most part but I'll have about two weeks sounds like a plan :)

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Originally Posted by Illusional [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

haha i didn't really mean to be nice when i posted that. i'll be honest.
raverboy

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I know that's why i said I'll pretend :D

and I'd rather NOT cheat but thanks anyway!

i wasn't talking about you cheating, i was referring to your bf.

for some, it might be easier to cheat on your partner in the beginning of a relationship because you don't really have a long history together. you have made some memories, but i don't think that you've been through enough to actually dream of being with one another for the rest of your lives.

if i were away and my gf was alright, being that we just started a relationship, then hell yeah, i would cheat.

raverboy