broken up for 3 weeks but he still calls me everyday.y?

Me and my ex were together for 6 years. He initated the break up saying that he wants time to work out his career and he wants to be selfish. He said he no longer feels the same. But when i ask him to tell me straight in my face that he doesnt love me anymore, he said he cant do that. Does he still love me or not?

So it has been 3 weeks, and he has been calling me everyday,sometimes even twice a day. And we just talk like friends. Do friends call each other all that often? I still love him a lot, but i am confused by his actions. I am not sure if i am correct, but i think he still loves me.

I was told by a friend that when guys initate a break up, they are normally very heartless and they wont call or look up the girl again.

what am i suppose to do? pls advice

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Originally Posted by lovepolis [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

So it has been 3 weeks, and he has been calling me everyday,sometimes even twice a day. And we just talk like friends. Do friends call each other all that often? I still love him a lot, but i am confused by his actions. I am not sure if i am correct, but i think he still loves me.

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I think he's just checking up on you to make sure you wait for him while he carries on being "selfish". He might come back if he gets tired of his selfishness or doesn't find anyone better. I think you're falling into his Plan B.

so what should i do?

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Originally Posted by lovepolis [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

so what should i do?

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He's not being fair to you by keeping you hanging on while he goes off and does his thing. He's not your friend, he's your ex. I'd tell him you need no contact with him for 3 months. This allows you to heal and move on. If he still tries to contact you, don't answer his calls. Then distract yourself like crazy so you can stop thinking about him.

"I want to work on my career" is just jerky code for "I don't want to be tied down." You deserve much better, IMO.

I suggest telling him in great detail about your new single life. He wants to be your "friend", right? Okay. I tell my friends all the shagadellic details. You should too.

Oh, and by the way, you shouldn't have to make these details up. You should be out leading a whole new life, not sitting around scratching your head about what his constant contact could possibly mean. He broke up with you. This means you are single. You might want to start capitalizing on this.

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Originally Posted by lovepolis [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

so what should i do?

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I think you should get on with life. Spend time with friends and look for new opportunities.

You know what they say: "The best way to get over a guy is to get under another one."

OR maybe he still loves you but something is masking that at this point and he needs to resolve whatever he is going through.

It's your choice to be patient and wait it out a while or move on and do whatever you want. It is possible that he is concerned for you because he loves you but not in that relationship sort of way.

People get confused sometimes with their own feelings when they don't have themselves figured out and make decisions like his. Sounds like to me he isn't meant to be in a relationship at this point in his life and recognized that and needs to work on himself. That's why he appears selfish, try to be his friend for a while until one of you does something that the other just can't handle and then that could part you for good and that's the way it goes. If you don't want to deal with that and move on to build something else in your life then do so.

i suppose i happen to be the same guys with ur EX if you read my thread. Might not be the same case, but likely the same..

Tell you what, he loves u.. and he wanna get you back again... he told himself, if u get back to his side again, he will never let you go anymore even if it cost his life.
Trust me, i am going through such thing at the moment.

Give him some chances to prove..

i asked him if he wants to get back, he said no. I asked why he still calls, he said because he has no one to talk to. So if he has, means he wont call me anymore. His reason for not being together is simply because we have been quarrelling too much. And it is because he is showing another girl too much attention, and has no respect for me as a gf. I told him not to call me already.

SM, just because you and LP's guy have something in common doesnt mean you think the same way...

WTF... he's just talking to you coz he has no one to talk to???? i will give you another reason why he's calling you.. so he would know how ur doing when you dont have him while he knows ur still crazy about him and wants him back.. it's called "ego feeding / boosting" or whatever you call it when a person wants to feel his importance or how he affects the other person.. duh

good decision LP... cut off all contacts. he's too selfish, inconsiderate and insensitive beyond words...

get on with your life.. you deserve somebody better... move on

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Originally Posted by Gigabitch [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You know what they say: "The best way to get over a guy is to get under another one."

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The best way to get over a girl is to wake up next to her in the morning and see her true beauty. hahaha. lolz

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Originally Posted by StupidMan [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

i suppose i happen to be the same guys with ur EX if you read my thread. Might not be the same case, but likely the same..

Tell you what, he loves u.. and he wanna get you back again... he told himself, if u get back to his side again, he will never let you go anymore even if it cost his life.
Trust me, i am going through such thing at the moment.

Give him some chances to prove..

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Not every situation is the same. Though I don't see why someone would need to break up with someone to continue the career on track. You can do both, and if so you can tell you girl that you need to take some time to do this or that but not break up for crying out loud. Just because you are dating someone doesn't mean you have to spend every second of you life with them.

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Originally Posted by StupidMan [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Tell you what, he loves u.. and he wanna get you back again... he told himself, if u get back to his side again, he will never let you go anymore even if it cost his life.
Trust me, i am going through such thing at the moment.

Give him some chances to prove..

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You have got to be kidding me.

This guy is just keeping you around in case something better doesn't come up. Good for you for telling him not to call anymore.

Been there done that... my bf of 4 years and getting engaged told me the same thing. I was pissed/heartbroken and everything else. And yes he too kept in touch and got my hopes up for getting back together and shut me down. Then when I started seeing someone else boohoo'd about how he misses me and wants me back and I said no. Then tried to make me jeolous w/another girl...didn't work. Now three years and it's the best thing that's ever happened to me. I'm w/a great guy who doesn't want a break from me to pursu n e thing. And oh yah my career turned out awesome while he's still at the same deadend job :D

You did the right thing. Get yourself out there and live your life and you too will see it's the best thing that could have ever happened to you.

This is so encouraging, but i am so afraid i will never meet another guy like him. i am scared. He is my first love and our relationship lasted for 6 yrs. For the past 1 month its been tough...i cry everyday. I love him so much and have sacrifice so much for him. His reason for breaking up is that we are different. Partly because i dont like how he has been handling his stuff. He accepts expensive gifts from a girl fren, the girl fren asked him to go to a wedding dinner with her as a couple, he said yes even without asking me if i was ok, the girl was outstationed for a while and he volunteered to have all her snail mails transferred to his house. She sent him donuts for breakfast at 6am in the morning. And they chat n sms each other very frequent. I feel he is leading her on. And she likes him. i felt really upset that i dont get the respect i deserve as his gf. He even took a picture with her with his arms around her waist and he said it was nothing. And the girl sent him an sms saying this " you always say u will call me when u are back home safely but u didnt". she kind of expects him to do more than what a friend should. By the way, shes my friend too. I have no more respect for this friend of mine.He kept saying that i was conservative and refuse to solve this problem. And we broke up, he said he wants to concentrate on his career and that we are different. 6 yrs!!! because of this we broke up...i cant take it..but i have been very tolerant of him, and in a way ...i haven been really happy, there were times when i know abt something, i wont confront him, because i hate to quarrel with him as well, at the back of my mind, i keep thinking to myself that just maybe one day he will change. but i guess not....i know there wont be another girl who can tolerate him and love him so much. i mean i kind of thought abt it, the reason why i quarrel with u over this is because, u mean so much to me and i dont want to lost u....i am moving on...i just need to let it out and hear what others gotta say

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Originally Posted by lovepolis [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

This is so encouraging, but i am so afraid i will never meet another guy like him.

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WTF (sorry)... you want to meet another jerk like him and go this way again????????

just get over it and move on. you will meet someone WAY BETTER than him...

its really difficult to move on, i realised that friends around me are either attached or married. And during my weekends, i feel lonely. I am a person who is very afraid of being lonely. I have never experience anything like this before, how should i go on.... :( even tho i spend time with friends and family, i still feel really empty inside...what should i do? and i keep asking myself if one day he will regret wat he did and come back to me. For the first 4 years of our relationship, we were really happy, nothing of this sort happened...but the last 2 years...he would lie to me abt going out with this girl and that girl and giving more attention to other girls than me. I feel totally insecure and was afraid of losing him. This feels terrible....it difficult...what should i do..

hey girl,
you know he's not being fair with you and just as the the person said, sounds like you're falling for his plan "B". I thinks it's unhealthy to have that much contact with him and he also knows that this "call" stratgey will keep you close to the vest.

Break ups are never easy but what's going on now makes it even tougher; find healtier things to do with your time. Yes, there will be sad and loney moments but that's just how it goes; we've all been there and it sucks.

Try chilling out on the phone calls for a bit; you're to close to be his freind so don't try to be. Get yoour support for freinds and family; that's what will help get you through

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Originally Posted by lovepolis [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

For the first 4 years of our relationship, we were really happy, nothing of this sort happened...but the last 2 years...he would lie to me abt going out with this girl and that girl and giving more attention to other girls than me. I feel totally insecure and was afraid of losing him.

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And it looks like he fed on this fear like a parasite, sucking you dry until you had no more hope and were dependant on him.

This is not a person you want, this is not a person at all. Maybe, some kind of a diseased amoeba, but definetly a spineless creature. Eeeew. Wouldn't you rather be single for the rest of your life than be with something as sickening, as repulsive as him? Sorry, I know this is the way I would feel if I were you.

I know it won't be easy to move on lovepolis. His diseases may have spread very deep into you. But day by day, it will get easier. Every breath of freedom, every minute with your family and friends will be a remedy that will cure you of him.

Be strong!

its sad but i am still hoping he will come back for me one day....and realise his mistakes...

should i still have hope? its really hard to erase 6 years of memories...we really had some fantastic times together.

:(

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Originally Posted by lovepolis [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

its sad but i am still hoping he will come back for me one day....and realise his mistakes...

should i still have hope? its really hard to erase 6 years of memories...we really had some fantastic times together.

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It might be posible that he will come back to you if whatever he's doing right now doesn't work out for him. He might even apologize so you take him back. But you have to remember that if he comes back he will bring you more pain. He doesn't respect you and he definetly doesn't love you. If he did, he wouldn't be putting you through all this. So, would you really take back someone like that if you had a chance?

Don't let your fear of loneliness drive you into a life of pain.

You're lonely now and you're idealizing this selfish worm in your head. Go out more. Meet people. After a long relationship we feel that all of a sudden we got this extra time which goes by so slowly and we tend to spend it in loneliness and isolation. Take this newly given time as an opportunity to do some little things that you've always wanted, but somehow never did. Maybe you'd like to slim down, take a trip to a certain location, learn a new skill or language. Go to the places where you could meet people. Dial some old numbers. I've noticed that when girls are in a relationship they tend to hang out less with their female friends; the boyfriend gets in the center of their attention, and eventually their world becomes built around that one man, who often can be a jerk, while man always keep contact with their buddies, at least on once-a-week basis. This should also be a lesson to you, not to drift apart from your friends when in next relationship.

its really difficult for me to move on :( i tried hanging out with friends, but during the weekends a lot of my friends will spend time with their boyfriends, so i am quite free during the weekends and so either i stay at home or just spend time with my family . My mum passed away abt 3 years ago...so i feel quite lonely now that shes not around too. i used to be very close to her.

i switched bedrooms with my brother to have a new ervironment and cleared out a lot of stuff which was given by him. initially it made me feel better.

But just yesterday, i had a terrible fall from jogging :( my left knee was badly cut & my right ankle is sprained. While i was lying in bed, coz i couldnt move much, i miss him sooooooooo much that i cried :(

i dropped him an sms to just say hi. but he din return my msg.

i feel so miserable, and no matter what changes i do, i feel i haven really moved on, and always having hopes that he will come back.

what should i do...i feel so helpless...i want to feel happy again!

i cant believe that he can erase all of these 6 years memories, wont he even think abt us at all?