Im so jealous!!

Well, two years ago me and my boyfriend broke up. He got with another girl and told her he loved her etc! But not we're back together and we were doing great, till my jealosy kicked in! He's going on holiday for a month in 4 days and im scared because even though he's never cheated before etc i'm terrified he'll cheat on me! When he was single he had two 1 night stands so this doesn't help me much! He's reassured me he'd never do such a thing because he loves me, and i know he does but im scared of what he'll do when hes drunk with other girls. We broke up last night over my jealousy (then got back together today)

I was on his old website, which he hasn't been on for over 1 year and a half, and there was a long message for his ex on how much he loves her and im furious about that (he wrote it when they were together) I don't know why i don't trust him but i want it work because i love him so much! It's getting inbetween us so badly and killing me! Please help!

Don't expect this relationship to work if you're going to be this insecure. He's given you no reason to cheat on him and yet you think he's going to? If I were him, I'd finalize the break up since you're not trustful.

Well your not him. He's patcient and loves me. I'm asking advice on how to stop this problem because it's not there 24/7! He's out drinking now and i'm not worrying if he's with other girls. It just comes now and again.

I think that when a relationship lasts, then breaks, then one of you has new partners, then you get back together, trust becomes an issue. However, the fact he chose to get back with you shows that you turned out to be better than the other girls and that should make you feel flattered and more secured. Did you have relationships during your break?

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Originally Posted by Cain [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Don't expect this relationship to work if you're going to be this insecure. He's given you no reason to cheat on him and yet you think he's going to? If I were him, I'd finalize the break up since you're not trustful.

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I hate it when girls have imaginary problems like this. It's more than a knife to the heart, it's more like a Scottish claymore to the heart. Cain was right on the money. He did nothing to deserve that level of suspicion and disrespect. All you're doing is taking all the loyalty and respect he has for you and pissing all over it. I second that, there's no way I would tolerate that kind of insulting behavior.

Sounds like you need to deal with your insecurities first before you can be in a relationship with him. Stop being selfish and start being more considerate and sensitive. You sound like the type of person who wants to be in a relationship apologizing about her insecurities and asking for time and understanding, rather than getting over them before she jumps into a relationship and puts someone else through all that.

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Originally Posted by Lost-Girl [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Well your not him. He's patcient and loves me. I'm asking advice on how to stop this problem because it's not there 24/7! He's out drinking now and i'm not worrying if he's with other girls. It just comes now and again.

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It doesn't matter how patient he is or how much he loves you, if you don't get over your insecurities, you WILL push him away. No man wants his girl to always think he's going to be cheating on her.

Yeah, if he doesn't have those kind of intentions, it's quite offensive; very insulting.

LostGirl, if you want this to work, you have to be more positive about the situation. You got the guy you want back. He didn't cheat on you. When you broke up he did the healthy thing and moved on instead of pining away for you. These are three very positive things.

Now you just need to find it in yourself to trust him. You actually have no reason not to, since he didn't cheat. Like the other posters said, your jealousy will eventually drive him away if you don't nip it in the bud now.

And stop going to his website and reading old posts. Leave the past in the past. He's with you now hun...enjoy it!

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Originally Posted by starbuck [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

LostGirl, if you want this to work, you have to be more positive about the situation. You got the guy you want back. He didn't cheat on you. When you broke up he did the healthy thing and moved on instead of pining away for you. These are three very positive things.

Now you just need to find it in yourself to trust him. You actually have no reason not to, since he didn't cheat. Like the other posters said, your jealousy will eventually drive him away if you don't nip it in the bud now.

And stop going to his website and reading old posts. Leave the past in the past. He's with you now hun...enjoy it!

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It honestly sounds like she wanted him to chase her after they broke up. She didn't want him to move on... she wanted him to stay single and celibate and wait for the day she'd take him back.

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Originally Posted by Cain [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

she wanted him to stay single and celibate and wait for the day she'd take him back.

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Like what I'm doing to you? :nerd:

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Originally Posted by DoesntMatter [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Like what I'm doing to you? :nerd:

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It's over, dammit. I told you, I don't want to be with you anymore.

What are you guys talking about?

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Originally Posted by Asparagoose [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

What are you guys talking about?

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They had hot, dirty, gay, sex...

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Originally Posted by Citycat [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I think that when a relationship lasts, then breaks, then one of you has new partners, then you get back together, trust becomes an issue.

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And I just plain simply think it is ****ed up and stupid.

Anyways, stop defending the guy people...2 one night stands and a hook up during a "temporary break up" and tells her he loves her? screw that this guy is a player.

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Originally Posted by Only-virgins [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

And I just plain simply think it is ****ed up and stupid.

Anyways, stop defending the guy people...2 one night stands and a hook up during a "temporary break up" and tells her he loves her? screw that this guy is a player.

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Where did you get the impression that it was temporary? The OP never suggested that anywhere in her post. The way I see it is that they were in a relationship two years ago and then broke up... afterward, the ex-bf lived his life. How can we fault him for moving on? If this was a break that lasted two weeks, then yeah, he's got some issues, but I doubt that she's been having these trust issues for the past two years. I'm more likely to assume that they've only been dating again for the past two or three months.

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Originally Posted by Cain [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Where did you get the impression that it was temporary? The OP never suggested that anywhere in her post. The way I see it is that they were in a relationship two years ago and then broke up... afterward, the ex-bf lived his life. How can we fault him for moving on? If this was a break that lasted two weeks, then yeah, he's got some issues, but I doubt that she's been having these trust issues for the past two years. I'm more likely to assume that they've only been dating again for the past two or three months.

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Using the word love when ever you simply meet someone knew is pathetic. When I say it I mean it. He either loves one of them or neither but he lied to one of them at some point as he can't love both, at which point automatically makes him a liar...just as bad as a player. For me if someone started dating someone else while they know me and told them they love them I would never believe that they can or do love me in the future.

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Originally Posted by Only-virgins [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Using the word love when ever you simply meet someone knew is pathetic. When I say it I mean it. He either loves one of them or neither but he lied to one of them at some point as he can't love both, at which point automatically makes him a liar...just as bad as a player. For me if someone started dating someone else while they know me and told them they love them I would never believe that they can or do love me in the future.

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You're speculating right now, OV. The only time frame that the OP gave was that they broke up two years ago. We don't know how long they've been back together or how long he was with the previous girl before he told her he loved her. There was no mention of him getting with the previous girl and within a week saying he loved her. Nor was there any mention that he ever told them both that he loved them at the same time.

Trust doesn't = trustworthy. Don't get them confused.

I was in your shoe before, when i was dating my husband, those fear still comes and go, but i want to create loving memories together with him, and i trust that i deserved to be loved by him, enjoy each other full heartedly, trust your instincts, it's usually right...do not let negative feelings ruin what you actually might have, if you give it a chance....;)