Boyfriend cries a lot!!! What does this mean? (I'm suspicous)

Well, let me put it this way...

He cries a LOT, and I mean a LOT, to the point where I am suspicious. For example, he cries about once or twice a week, sometimes only once every two weeks. Also, he cries over things that are really not a big deal. For example, crying because I was busy with homework, and that I haven't talked to him as often (maybe a half an hour a day, rather than 3 hours)

He does have self-esteem issues, and he tends to look down on himself for many reasons because he claims he can't "do anything right." I understand that this just adds to the reason of why he cries a lot, but still...I'm very suspicious.

I am not a mean person by all means. I respect and care for my boyfriend a lot, and I try my best to make sure he feels better about whatever he cries about. He does tell me that I make him happy all the time and that his self-esteem boosted like 3 times as much ever since he met me.

I am suspicious because of this:
1. Who in the world tells you explicidly, "I have a low self-esteem, so I tend to look down on myself a lot." Those are his exact words, and he says it fairly often.

2. Whenever I have a bad day from school, work, etc., and I tell him I had a long day, he only replies by saying how "telling him I love him and giving him lots of hugs will make him happy." Isn't it weird to say that at such random moments such as that??? Especially when it's about me?

3. Whenever I ask him how he's doing, he just says he's okay or sad, but never asks how I am. It may sound like a petty reason to get suspicious, but wouldn't a boyfriend care how their girlfriend is doing, also???

Basically, I'm afraid he could be manipulating me, or just using me in order to make himself feel good, and not thinking or caring about how I feel.

WTF? Are there some kind of rules I don't know about? Your bf is a crybaby, but those 'suspicious' things you mentioned, I don't get... So there are rules that you can't say something honestly?

And what are you suspicious about?


He may not be an asker type maybe. But since he has low self esteem, he is probably overwhelmed by his own mind. He is not manipulating you, but he might be using you without him realizing. You should just bring it up that everything is not about him, be honest like he blatantly was. Ask him whats up.

Lol, there's no "rules" or whatever. I'm not even the suspicious type. I'm just worried because it's just weird to see someone cry so much, and to do all of the other reasons I mentioned above. For example, what if he's manipulating me by trying to get my sympathy. Some men do that I've heard. Maybe I'm just paranoid, but sometimes paranoia is the best survival trait when it comes to relationships.

I guess in a way, he could be using me without realizing it. He's not a bad guy. I just want to be very careful. I'm just saying he COULD be manipulating me, that's all. I'm still very suspicious though...

While it is possible that this is all an elaborate ruse, and he just wants to manipulate you... I think you need to strongly consider the obvious alternative. He is feeling unloved. I was in a relationship once where the girl I was dating was acting very similar to the way he's acting. I thought that she was just after sympathy and that she needed to grow up.

Boy was I young.

I wasn't giving her the care and love she needed. Long story short, she left me and almost had a breakdown. I was being selfish. Instead of focusing on her pain, I was focusing on how what she was doing, was hurting me.

I think your boyfriend sounds like a royal pain in the ass, and I can't honestly imagine why you tolerate his emo drama. You sound like a reasonably confident girl with good intuition. There is something wrong with him, and you know it. trust your instincts.

Y'know this one is definitely not a keeper.

Forget this fool, he needs a mother, not a girlfriend.

This is a boy and no man.

What a pussy.

The last time I cried was when I stumbled home after wrecking my bike and bashing face open on the curb. My mom opened the front door and immediately howled like a banshee and began sobbing. Which in turn scared the ever loving **** out of me and got me crying, too. I was eight.

I don't know what's wrong with your pussy boyfriend but you need to ditch his sorry ass. He needs a mommy and a shrink to fix his shit.

The last time I cried was when I was sitting in the bath and my sister kicked my head in to the tap.

Haha, Charlieboy, your sister beats your head against the tap lmfao. What a brutal family.

last time i cried was out of depression (my ex) like 3 weeks ago
last time i cried out of pain was like 1st grade. lol

every now and then i get/got those "i cant do anything right" feelings as well, but i dont cry about it. sounds like either he gets really depressed and can only think about himself or maybe he is manipulating you..

He makes this whole relationship all about him. No one should be crying that much. Besideswhich, he's not listening to YOU when you're feeling bad. This guy is no give and all take. Recipe for disaster, and not normal.

I really have to question your use of the word "suspicious". I could see you being disgusted or annoyed, but why on earth would you be suspicious? Thew only thing I'm suspicious about is his possible chemical imbalance.

Suspicious of manipulative behavior?

Tell him to wear his big boy pants or you're not going to stay with him anymore.

yeah, the first time my girlfriend cried to me, I broke up with her.

Probably one of the worst decisions of my life up to now.

Yeah, I'm not suspicious of anything anymore. I just basically felt uneasy about the way he acts. Right now I know he's just needs to get his act together.

I had a talk with him today. I explained how I felt about everything, and that I'm very exhausted and I can't take it anymore. I have some tough classes I'm taking right now, and I have to do about 7 hours a day of homework. Plus I try to balance working out and my job. When I come back to talk to him, and that he's depressed because I couldn't talk to him, it's REALLY depressing and exhausting for me!!! He basically told me that he's sorry and that he does care about what I think, and that he's just doesn't have enough "social experience," because I also explained how he never seems to ask how I'm doing whenever I ask him how he's doing.

Well, he was sad about what I said, and he looked like he was gonna cry, but I wasn't sure. I gave him a hug and said some funny stuff so he could feel better. He was a little bit better after that.

But seriously, I can't take it anymore :( I don't care if anyone says I'm being heartless, because I do care for my boyfriend, but I think it's best for BOTH OF US to move on.

I broke up with him. I feel better now, but I'm still worried about him. I hope he's okay. I'm sure he will, but I guess I'm just used to being worried about him whenever he's sad. I'm sure he'll find a much better match for him someday. I hope he does, he's a very sweet guy.

Try not to feel too bad, digit. You were never under any obligation to stay with him through thick and thin... you weren't married to the guy - only dating, and dating is all about deciding IF you are a match, not trying to force one. And really, he sounded emotionally draining. It sounds like you have a very full life without needing to caretake his emotions, too.

Good luck!

Thanks Vashti =), I'm okay with it now. I know there will be times when I will probably look back and go, "Awww crap, why did I leave him..." because he was still a nice guy, especially since we've only been together for about a month. However, I can't drop out of school or quit my job in order to be with him.

The only time I really felt bad was when at that moment I dumped him, he cried on my shoulder as I held him in my arms. I dunno, it's so heartbreaking to see him cry like that...

But at least I'm free =)

And I'm sure he'll be fine eventually. He's a big boy. =P

Cries when you don't talk to him for 3 hours? Are you serious?

I hate talking on the phone, whether its a girlfriend or my own mother. I have about a 5 minute limit before it starts to become obvious that I am talking on the phone while working on a running riot in Halo.

This kid needs his mother, a canister of creatine and a home gym.

Meh I miss him. ='(

When I told him about how I felt about all this, he said he was probably gonna change, and that "but I don't want to make you feel like you should give me a second chance."

Although, he was *sorta* reluctant to ask me to be his girlfriend again, because he knew how much he made me miserable.
He said, "I want to be with you, but I also want you to be happy."

I don't feel like I should give him a second chance. He was very emotionally draining and *very* lazy, but I wonder if he could in fact change.

What do you think? Should I go back to him and see if he stays true to his word? If I do go back, I'm gonna make sure not to put up with his crap anymore, but I wonder if I should even bother going back. What do you think?

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Originally Posted by Digit [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Meh I miss him. ='(

When I told him about how I felt about all this, he said he was probably gonna change, and that "but I don't want to make you feel like you should give me a second chance."

Although, he was *sorta* reluctant to ask me to be his girlfriend again, because he knew how much he made me miserable.
He said, "I want to be with you, but I also want you to be happy."

I don't feel like I should give him a second chance. He was very emotionally draining and *very* lazy, but I wonder if he could in fact change.

What do you think? Should I go back to him and see if he stays true to his word? If I do go back, I'm gonna make sure not to put up with his crap anymore, but I wonder if I should even bother going back. What do you think?

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No come on. He is manipulating you again. Stick to your original word.

Sounds like he is extremely sensitive, self-conscious or has somewhat of a low self esteem. Why are you so suspicious of him? And what are you suspicious of?

He can change, it's possible. He won't change if you go back to him, though. He'll have what he wants without working for it.

If a year from now the two of you bump into each other it's entirely possible he'll have learned from his loss and from other experiences. Don't go back to the guy. You're doing yourself as disservice as well as him. This could be the eye-opening experience he needs to get out of his lazy crybaby rut.

Guys will genuinely, say, feel, think anything they need to, to get a woman back.

A lot of them really aren't lying when they say things like they'll change. It's just a matter of changing their mind once they get in your pussy. Ask Gribble, he knows about that kind of stuff.

In other words, don't waste your time.

What is pussy

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Originally Posted by DoesntMatter [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

What is pussy

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I dunno, I just thought it would sound good there.

I used to cry a lot during my first relationship, although not nearly as much as it sounds like your boyfriend does. I was young, and (yes) did have a low self-esteem, and in retrospect, I was trying to foster a codependency because it seemed my girlfriend and I were drifting farther and farther apart.

It was not healthy, and I had no business being in a relationship in that kind of emotional state. You cannot help him, and he certainly doesn't sound like he can help you when you're having a rough time, so I would suggest you get out of this. Let him grow up, even if it hurts him, I really believe this needs to end.

Right now he's only making you feel sorry for him so you stay with him. (Is he having family issues, or life-path issues? Do you feel like you're the only one he can count on?) That's not a healthy pattern, nor a winning strategy on his part...

I talked with him the other day. He says his self-esteem isn't as bad as I think it is, and that he doesn't feel that crappy all the time. Also, I think I over exaggerated when I described how much he cries. Yeah, he does cry more often than the average guy, but not as much as I described it.

What bothers me is that why does he say he has a low self-esteem when he says it's not that bad?

I guess it doesn't matter anymore, though. I still have feelings for him, but I don't think it'll do us any good to stay together. We were both kind of getting further and further apart, too, Indus18.

Although, I guess I wasn't as loving as I could have been during the relationship. I hope he does find a girl in the future that can give him the love that he deserves. I'm not trying to sound sad or anything, I really hope he does. I just can't wait until I graduate, get a car, and start my life so I can rule the world. >=)

Lol, glad to hear that you've made a decision, Digit. At least you clearly have no esteem issues with your desire to "rule the world!"

Best of luck!