Problems with her parrents...and religion :(
Hi people, my first post here...
Unfortunately, I found myself on the edge of a relationship cliff...and I simply don't know what to do anymore. I hope some you guys can help me. Here it goes...
It all begun 6 months ago...we were co-workers and found each other very attractive. After a couple of coffees and a team-building event, we ended up together. It was crazy, I never felt being in love with someone so strong. The fact is though, she was different than anyone else I've ever been with - our relationship quickly jumped over the initial stages of dating which I see now was my fault - I was simply used to having smoething strong, firm and long-term. She on the othe hand wasn't. This lead to several mild arguments and I soon realised we might never get on the same level. I suspected that the biggest problem she's not letting me close could be her parents. Namely, they're of different religion. Having only one longer relationship before which ended because of parents (hers and his) involvements, she seems scared to let anyone too close. Her parents practicaly gave up on her at that time...they didn't speak to each other and they were hurt by the fact their daughter is dating someone that doesnt fit their image of appropriate. It was the worse time of her life...she was sad, miserable, depressed...
She let me know about that relatively soon so we were both aware of it. But we didn't know it would last this long. We both liked each other more and more, still felt (still do as a matter od fact) the attraction and something in me just tried to push everything one step further...just to make sure this is really it. She on the other hand didn't. She kept sort of a distance which confused me at times. I didn't know why she wants to be involved if she doesn't feel the need to take it one level higher. Not long ago, we had few discussions about that and I came very near to ending the whole thing. My reason said yes, but my heart just didn't want to let go. It just felt wrong.
Two days ago, we sat down to talk about it again. My suspicion was confirmed - she was doing that because of her parents, because of her fear of loosing them again...and it all suddenly made sense to me. Im unfortunately not experienced enough to give advice about life and I feel it's something she has to (or will have to) discover herself. I respect her relationship to parents and don't wan't to mess it up even though it is something that I cannot understand, even less accept. It's a move she'll have to make. She doesn't wanna end our relationship, she's still in love and admits it's something she never had before. On the other hand, just like me, a part of her knows we might have problems in the future and that our existance together will be all but spotless.
So I found myself here...writing this post in thinking what to do. If there was a good reasno to end it, I'd probably try to gather strength and just do it. But it isn't. It just feels wrong. We're two persons in love, we shouldn't break up beacuse of (in my oppinion) wrong reasons. Im desperate...I love her very much and knowing she feels the same makes me feel terrible. We sort of concluded yesterday, that breaking it up would probably be the best thing to do. It was actually me who proposed it. Today though, it's a different story. I left my heart there...why end something beautifull?
Can anyone advise me what would be the best thing to do here? I keep daydreaming about it and sometimes I even come close to crazy ideas such as confronting ther parents (btw., they don't know about us - just one reason more why she feels sad). Thanks to everyone...
