ball's in my court...?

This guy gave me his card today and wrote his cell phone number on the back of it (a guy I've met/talked to twice now.) He doesn't have my number or email, so if I want to see him (I do) it's my call.

But I really don't want to be the one to pursue something here. I don't know how interested he is and I'm not looking to be disappointed/get hurt at the moment. So I want to send an encouraging text/email without actually asking him out (and leave that up to him if he wants to.) Any suggestions on what to say? Help!

"Hast du alle Tassen im Schrank?"

My suggestion is to swallow your pride and just mail him what you think. From a mans point of view, he's very unlikely to give a number to someone he does not find attractive.

Also, if you contact him and leave it TOO casual, he may think you are only interested in him as friends, and it might scare him off. I'd just dorp him a note to say you were pleasantly surprised that he gave you his number, and that you'd like to meet up with him for a drink.

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Originally Posted by doppelgaenger [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

"Hast du alle Tassen im Schrank?"

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lol. Ja. Danke Doppelgänger, du bist ne sehr große Hilfe.

...

Edit: Thanks Casco. I think I'll send him a text and see if he's free this week... that way he has my number too.

:D

Na dann mach es kurz. "Wie geht's?" "Wie steht's?". Das genügt, nicht wahr?

Der ist Franzoser und wir reden Englisch miteinander. Du empfehlst dann nicht, dass ich einen Termin vorschlage?

Mein Daum wartet auf der "Send"-Taste...;) by the way, what's with the German?

eta: sent: "Hey Max, it's Annie. how's your day been? do you have any Lust auf a drink this week (tuesday?)"

He would have asked you, all you needed to do was show you have an interest.

But you asked him already out for a drink, I'm sure he'll go out with you.

What's with the German? You're location says "right now - Germany" I speak German ;)

And yuck! A French guy? The Germans do it better.

If he gave you contact information then thats enough to tell you he is interested. You can send him "encouraging" messages if you want but I think if you ask him out straight out, you would impress him with your confidence. And I don't think its an act of desperation to be the first one to ask out a guy. But after the first date, he should be the one to ask you out for the second. Just make sure, the interest is balanced out.

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Originally Posted by doppelgaenger [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

What's with the German? You're location says "right now - Germany" I speak German ;)

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Hehe, oops, didn't notice that.

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And yuck! A French guy? The Germans do it better.

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Normally I'd agree with "yuck - a french guy!"... although this guy isn't so slimy ;) And also - Germans are weird. I can't really see myself dating one.

He's gay.

Humph.

So now I feel like an idiot for asking him out... but seriously, what did he expect? He seemed interested.

Ich hab es doch gewusst! :D Französischer Mensch. Du hast schon die Antwort gehabt.

Was hat er nicht denn? Eigentlich ein Schwuler oder was?

He's gay? Well, that's what you get for chasing a french guy.

Does a gay German guy even exist? Seems like an oxymoron somehow. All the Germans I know (some weird, true) like beer & women.

Anyway, one persons weird = another's 'interesting'.

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Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

He's gay? Well, that's what you get for chasing a french guy.

Does a gay German guy even exist? Seems like an oxymoron somehow. All the Germans I know (some weird, true) like beer & women.

Anyway, one persons weird = another's 'interesting'.

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Yeah, there are TONS of gay German guys. My landlord, for example. He drinks champagne, not beer.

I know what you mean, I'm sure most of the guys I've been interested in are weird to other people. I'd love to be proven wrong about Germans by a German guy.

you need to get you some gaydar.

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Originally Posted by misombra [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

you need to get you some gaydar.

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I figure I had it coming to me since the ballet dancer was, in fact, straight. It's like in Final Destination - it's been chasing me.

yeah right. that ballet dancer was on the downlow. aaaaaaaaajaahaa what ever happened to that guy?

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Originally Posted by misombra [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

yeah right. that ballet dancer was on the downlow. aaaaaaaaajaahaa what ever happened to that guy?

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Last I heard from him was about 2 years ago... as far as I know he's dancing professionally now.
He probably was gay...

but daaaayum could he kiss.

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Originally Posted by lovesjoyajm [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Yeah, there are TONS of gay German guys. My landlord, for example. He drinks champagne, not beer.

I know what you mean, I'm sure most of the guys I've been interested in are weird to other people. I'd love to be proven wrong about Germans by a German guy.

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I cannot picture in my head a flamboyantly gay German guy. Oh boy. Do they have lisps like in America? LOL wow. I am not looking forward to that when I go to Germany.

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Originally Posted by doppelgaenger [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I cannot picture in my head a flamboyantly gay German guy. Oh boy. Do they have lisps like in America? LOL wow. I am not looking forward to that when I go to Germany.

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Ok, I didn't say flamboyantly gay. I have encountered a German with a lisp, though. It was exactly as you'd imagine.

When are you going to Germany, why, and wohin?

Oh god.

FS Uni, Jena, Thüringen. College career. Hopefully I could even finish my degree there because my school sucks.

[took picture out] ;)

Glad I "dodged" that one, if you can call it that. French guy called me last night and invited me out with his boyfriend and some Americans for a drink. He did not stop talking about himself. I literally have never been around a guy who gave me less opportunity to talk. Don't get me wrong, I get really tired of talking and would much prefer a guy who can carry the conversation from his end as well, but this was ridiculous. Now I see how Irish guy probably felt on our reunion-date. :(

His friend/classmate was really hot, though. I don't know how old, maybe a year or two younger than me, hair to rival Misombra's (quite a prettyboy, unfortunately). And he was sort of acting as protector of these three American girls (sisters, 24, 17 and 17) who are traveling Europe and in this city for just a few days. He complimented them profusely the entire night. I've never felt so ignored. I was kind of fascinated by him for the very fact that, like me, he's never been in a relationship. I'd be really interested in getting to know him even though I'm cautious of him because of his pretty-boy-ness.

It sounds like he may have been interested in the American sisters...

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Originally Posted by lovesjoyajm [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

eta: sent: "Hey Max, it's Annie. how's your day been? do you have any Lust auf a drink this week (tuesday?)"

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Careful there, 'lust' in English isn't the same as 'Lust' in German. 'Lust' in English means a sexual longing (Geilheit).

To the OP: Just send the guy a message or call him. I personally love it if girls contact me, if I'm interested in them anyway. I would agree with the person before that he wouldn't have given you his details if he didn't want you to contact you.

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Originally Posted by yegdulps [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Careful there, 'lust' in English isn't the same as 'Lust' in German. 'Lust' in English means a sexual longing (Geilheit).

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Don't worry. I'm a native English speaker, I just tend to throw German phrases in when they're more convenient. He knew what I meant. (That's why I used "Lust auf".)

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It sounds like he may have been interested in the American sisters...

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Definitely. The older one was a lesbian, though, and he was clearly a bit more worldly than the younger ones, who are both dating guys, it seems, and who didn't understand what he meant when he asked the one girl if her boyfriend was assertive. And they'll be gone on Monday. He almost seemed to have taken on this big-brotherly role. It was hella awkward for me, actually, because the guys I knew kind of left me there with the four of them. When I tried to discretely pay my part of the bill, it turned into this awkward situation because the waiter then expected THEM to pay, too, and it was only then, when I was leaving, that he seemed to notice me at all and ask me what I was doing here. I certainly didn't get any false hopes from the ordeal, I just found the guy interesting.

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To the OP: Just send the guy a message or call him. I personally love it if girls contact me, if I'm interested in them anyway. I would agree with the person before that he wouldn't have given you his details if he didn't want you to contact you.

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I did. Turns out he's gay.

And Lilwing, can you make that picture smaller? it's making the screen freakin annoyingly big.

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Originally Posted by lovesjoyajm [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Don't worry. I'm a native English speaker, I just tend to throw German phrases in when they're more convenient. He knew what I meant. (That's why I used "Lust auf".)

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No worries. That's pretty funny, you're a native English speaker in a German speaking country and I'm a native German speaker in an English speaking country.

About him being gay, sorry I didn't read that beforehand, I was a little bit overeager in replying.

As for the picture, if you're using Firefox you can install the Adblock Plus addon: addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/1865

Then right click on the picture and select adblock to block the picture. Then the width of the text returns to being the width of the screen.
I know it's a little complicated, but it's what I did, just in case he doesn't change the size.


BTW, there are plenty of flamboyant German gay guys, you mightn't be able to imagine it, but it's true. Also, Germans have a great sense of humour contrary to popular believe.

Thats the first time I've ever heard of a gay guy pull off a straight guy pick-up move with a girl.

Odd....

Maybe he's bi?

We bisexuals have a way of confusing a lot of situations ;).

(it's not uncommon for a bi to claim to be gay or straight depending on the situation... to get what they want... seen it plenty of times)

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Originally Posted by yegdulps [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Careful there, 'lust' in English isn't the same as 'Lust' in German. 'Lust' in English means a sexual longing (Geilheit).

To the OP: Just send the guy a message or call him. I personally love it if girls contact me, if I'm interested in them anyway. I would agree with the person before that he wouldn't have given you his details if he didn't want you to contact you.

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Oj kannst du Deutsch denn??

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Originally Posted by lovesjoyajm [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

And Lilwing, can you make that picture smaller? it's making the screen freakin annoyingly big.

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Done ;)