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Hello ever body
i loved a girl more than 3 years and we loved each other so much for three years and am crazy about her
and she too
but
suddenly she just said to we must broke up without a reason
i did everthing possible just to have her back and it doesn't work at all
Conclusion
what can i do to get her out of my mind
i've get tired of crying like a baby needs mom
i've get tired of not sleeping like other people do
anyone can helpe me with that
i'll be very thankfule
:upset:
If she suddenly broke up w/ you for no reason at all... I'm guessing she cheated and is w/ someone else, feels guilty, and doesn't want you angry at her. Otherwise they'll just give you some it's not you, it's me platitude.
Anway, I'm sorry you feel this way. I've been there, and it genuinely sucks a lot. The good news, it gets better. The bad news, it takes time and you won't feel like you're getting better until you finally look back and realize you do.
As for how to get her out of your head? Time, friends, distractions, coping mechanisms. Take a vacation, go find new things to do that are not associated w/ her, put a 1 month moratorium on anything that is related to her. Don't accept phone calls from her, don't talk to her, take all her gifts, box them up, put them away until you can deal with rationally deciding what to do with them. If you do find out she's done wrong by you, take items, burn them or something. It's silly, but cathartic.
Go take up martial arts or something that requires you to hyper focus. Get mad, get angry, punch a punching bag, get the bad energy out of your body. Crying, sadness, depression. All pain and bad energy directed inwards. You only end up hurting yourself.
Oh, and while this doesn't help. You'll probably find someone far better.
Keep your chin up, stick to the high road, and you'll feel better and come out of this in a positive light in the eyes of others... Like potential women to date.
Only time will heal this type of wound.
Make up a list of the things she did to you that hurt/were wrong.
Post that list somewhere that you can see it often when you need to. When memories come flooding back, look at that list, it will push out the memories and clear your head. Its a lot easier to forget something that you resent than to forget something you miss.
thank u for replaying but i did all this things and doesnt work 'caus everything remind me of her even my self do
i think am going crazy
I understand your feeling. It's really, really hard. I've said goodbye to my bf for a year, but up to now I can't forget him. He's in my heart all the time :(
Therapy dude. Therapy.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark Angel [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
you are not alone, me to have almost the same situation !!! read my story !
It is really hard, but maybe you should try going out with some other girls. Or, better, try to find a hobby that will totally occupy your mind. Think about moving to another town or at least another house. Throw away everything that reminds her, or, at least, store everything somewhere deep.
Still, as to my experience, only new true love can heal the old one...
I am going through something almost exactly like yours except my ex and I still talk. We broke up a little over a week ago after going out for more than 3 years. She lost feelings for me and has feelings for someone else.
It is EXTREMELY hard for me. I can't sleep at night, I can't eat, I can't do anything really. Like you said, everything reminds me of her. Like with me, I see candles and I think of her. I'm sure it is the same type of thing with you.
Now what helped me? Well I have been trying to hang out with my friends as much as possible. DO NOT just sit around and talk because you will most likely end up talking about her and that is not good. Try to stay active. Go to a party, go exercise, go on a vacation. I am actually transferring to a different college, and just changing major things in my life. There really isn't anything you can do to get her out of your mind right now besides just letting it pass.
I know it is extremely hard to, but try not to talk to her and see her, it will just make you remember all the things you guys had. Yes they were great, but you WILL have great times with someone else. I personally feel like my ex was the one for me but really that probably isn't the case. You are probably thinking "Well I will never feel the same about anyone else" That is not true. I know it is hard to grasp, but it really isnt true.
What you are feeling is completely natural and sadly you will probably feel it again. I'm sorry to say that but it is true.
Whatever you do, DO NOT try to get back together with her. Is she still has feelings for you then really the best thing is just keeping your distance. If she can't handle the distance then she will come back and say so, then you can talk to her and figure out what went wrong and get back together. If she doesn't come back to you (which is more likely) then I'm very sorry, but that is something that you have to deal with. Really just trying to get back with her will make it worse. If you guys do go back out because she feels bad that she broke up with you, then it will most likely end for the same exact reason it ended in the first place, and it will most likely be 10x worse! Do you really want to go through that again and have it be worse?
Now once again you are probably thinking "Well if we go out again it wont end" Well that is just not true in almost all cases.
Just let it all play out and remember KEEP YOUR DISTANCE! Also remember to stay active. Maybe take some sleeping pills to sleep better.
Swargolet, I'm sorry to hear what you're going through, I feel your pain as I'm going through exactly the same thing right now. It's so hard, right?
You say you and your ex are still talking but you're telling Dark Angel to stop talking to his ex, how come? Do you and your ex live together? That's the situation I'm in, he broke up with me after five years and he's acting as if everything's normal, treating me like a housemate with idle chit chat, carrying on with his life all happy-go-lucky, and that's what's making it harder as he doesn't seem to care.
You're right, the best thing to do in this situation is just to let the other person go and if they miss you and want you back, they will come back. But don't sit there waiting for them to come back as it might never happen. As you say, stay busy, try to forget about them and get on with your life as soon as you can. It's very difficult and extremely painful right now, but will be for the best in the long run. Just keep telling yourself that this happened so you can go out and meet the person who was meant to be your one true love, which you will. Good luck.
Yes Muffin, I do live with my ex. We actually are still great friends, and luckily we didn't end on a bad note, she just lost feelings.
I know that keeping your distance is the best thing to do IF you don't live with your Ex. If my ex was lived down the street it would be a different story, but my ex lives with me and actually will be a major part of my life no matter what (long story). I've just noticed with past break-ups that keeping your distance is best and maybe down the road send them a quick text. Maybe to wish them a happy birthday and who knows, you might become great friends with them again.
I've noticed that living with the ex is extremely hard because like muffin said, you are treated just like a house-mate. This is because they dont have feelings for you (me/muffin) anymore so ya we just want to reach out and grab them and hold them, but they dont. I do agree that it is extremely hard but like others have said "Time heals all wounds"
Dark angel I know everyone tells you to just let them go and that you will find someone better. This IS true. Some people say that there is only one true love out there for you. I dont believe that is true. My theory is that there is one TYPE of person out there that is perfect for us but there are thousands of those types all around us. We might even pass them on the street. You might have even had that perfect someone but luckily there is another perfect someone out there. This is just my theory.
Just keep your head high, try and think positive thoughts. The worst times for me is when I wake up at 3 AM and I just can't get her out of my head. I'm sure you are experiencing that also and it does suck. I personally haven't found anything to help that much, because as you know, you dont want to just get up and do something to get them out of your head because you just want to sleep, but you also can't sleep because they are in your head. The only thing I've been able to kinda do is just think of a great time I had with my friends or to think of a hobby or something I'm currently active in such as a sport.
You will get through this.
Tulino ... just a guess but do you spend a lot of time fantasizing about how you would have wanted things to turn out? If so, stop it, no matter how comforting it may feel.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tulino [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Carl.
Carl is right, its easy to run scenarios over in your head and do the whole "what if" thing (3 years Carl, I bet he is :-( ). You have been hurt in a way no pain killer or bandage can soothe, you have to get defensive with yourself now for your own good.Quote:
Originally Posted by carl1222 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
You have to do everything in your power to NOT run scenarios in your head, its harder than hell but just causes you more hurt and pain. Get out and do things with friends, stay out of the house as much as you can. Just because you live with her doesn't mean you have to see her all the time.
It might also help to avoid things that strongly remind you of her, like places or activities until you get yourself pulled back together.
It will pass, one day you will stop and realize that you are feeling better, it will come, time is the only way to get there and theres sadly no short cuts.
Time is required as others have said. But you also need distraction. Mulling over things will only prolong your pain. Move, laugh, get a hobby that requires concentration. These things will help.
It's hard to move one. Hard to forget specially the one that you cherish the most. But sometimes things happened and all we need to do is to accept the truth. Before I got engaged, I've been with a guy for more than 3 years. Just like your story we loved each other very much, then suddenly he changed, and I found out that he cheated on me. I broke up with him. And it's so painful, I feel that my chest gonna burst. But, I moved on.. what I done is, I STARTED TO GO OUT, MEET NEW PERSON, ... show her that you don't need her. It gonna take a while, but you gonna help yourself to do it, because we can't help you. All we can do here is to tell you some of our point of views. Nothing more. Your the first person that need to help yourself to overcome this. LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE... Maybe there's some reason why this happened. Actually, you didn't lose her, because if you own her you not gonna lose her to begin with. So STOP IT!!! There's no good thinking about her gonna do with you.
Ms. Cruise
Like Ms. Cruise said look at what there is to come in your life. One of the worst things you can do is look at the what ifs. Look at the "What wills" What will happen in the future? Down the road you WILL go through 1, 2, 3, 8, 15 relationships. Some might be small others might be big but they will all be building blocks up to that final someone who is perfect for you, and you will find them.
Only you can help yourself. Like the others said, distract urself from thinking about her. This is the only way that u can heal and be better again. You're not alone here, billions of people out there are going through the same thing, myself including, u just need to help urself feel better.
Good luck and Do not give up!
Hey Dark Angel,
I feel for you, I honestly do. I'm going through the same. I know I have to move on, forget about what's been but it's so darn hard. It still somehow feels like something that I shouldn't do....a real battle between rational and emotional inside me.
My relationship was not as long as yours, but was powerfull. And to make things worse, we didn't break up because either of us lost intesrest (check my profile and see it for yourself if you want to).
But yes, I cannot agree more with all written above. I'm still having a hard time accepting it but it has to be the only way. I must admit, I still haven't gathered strength to perform these steps but will try. Only comfort I find at the moment is that in time everything will get better. It has to!
I'm going to try new things, different things, things I like to keep myself occupied for some time. Sports, spend as much time as I can with friends, hobbies that demand your attention. Try not to be alone. I live alone and its painfull. With not enough distraction I quickly find myself thinking of her...of us and start makeing those well known "what if..." scenarios.
NO GOOD! We deserve better...and it's out there. We just have to be patient. To all broken hearted out there:
Happy 2009 - heads up, gather strength, there will be changes! Enjoy your lives!