Terrified of Aging

I know that it beats the alternative, but it lately has really started to bother me. I was asked in another post what my age was and I actually was extremely hesitant to state it.

How are you all dealing with getting older? I feel that I must now be a grown up. I still get carded on occasion but I also have people calling me ma'am (and not just little kids). I still feel like I should be included with the young adults still figuring things out. Help. This is really starting to stress me out and cause anxiety. I no longer know what people expect of me.

I was recently checked out in the mall by a boy who asked if I had a daughter named *** because she was one of his friends and I resembled her. I just had to ask what grade he was in and he told me that he had graduated high school. I wanted to curl up and die. When did I get old. 31 isn't old enough to have a kid out of high school (unless of course you were an extremely young parent). I see now how women become botox junkies.

I was always the mature child and now I feel that I wasted my youth being the responsible one. Thanks everyone. I am sorry I am just having a pity party today and could just cry.

If this is in the wrong forum, I am sorry. I am new to LF. I just feel lucky that I have found a place to express my frustrations and worries.

Haha! I can sympathize! I have kids who are in high school (I really can't believe it!), and when I attend school functions, I look around in shock at how old the parents (my so-called peers!) are. (I also can't help but notice how incredibly dorky so many of them are.)

I think you have to develop a sense of humor about it, and of course, keep yourself really, really distracted. Do something really special with your time - something you can be really proud of. It helps make your age less significant.

Also, I believe you are single, right? Just keep in mind that the kind of partner you'd be interested in (assuming you are looking) probably wouldn't be looking for a kid.

Finally, you could resort to hanging out with people who look older than you. :D

I don't really worry about aging all that much. What it is for me though is that I feel that I'm leaving things too late.
I'm 26 now and I only just finished uni. Also, I wanted to be a young dad (30 or younger), but I don't even have a steady girlfriend so it doesn't seem like happening.

The girl I'm seeing at the moment actually thought that I was 32 when we met a month ago, didn't really bother me.

I turn 29 next week, and I'm okay with it. The way I see it, the older I've gotten the better my life has gotten, so why be upset about it? There is nothing about my life now that I would trade for being 17 again, or even 21 or 25 (except maybe my old bangin' body). I handle aging great. Maybe I will get a little botox ONE day......but I'm not overly obsessed about it.

People need to embrace aging a little better. I hate that society makes it so negative to get older.

think about it really, how much more comfortable are you with your body? how much more comfortable are you taking risks? how much more do you know now that you wished you'd known when you were 21? seriously i adore being in my 30's. i love being me. how you look (i.e how you dress) is somewhat important (it will attract a certain kind), however having confidence is wayyyy better. i never really doubt myself much anymore coz i have usually been able to make an educated guess, yet when i was younger i did. the older you get the wiser you get. honestly yes i have become more selfish but thats my prerogative, my life is so much better for it. getting older is better imo

I was seriously awkward when I left HS. I was still awkward looking after college. Believe it or not, I feel I'm one of those guys who actually looks better with age. I look better with graying hair, I look better with wrinkles.

I think I'm actually getting more attractive every year.

I'm in my 30's now, and more women find me attractive now than when I was younger.

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Originally Posted by shybelle [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I see now how women become botox junkies.

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I'm actually less worried about wrinkles and how I will look older and more about things like kidney and liver failures later on in life. Not being able to maintain balance, loosing sight, being hooked up to some tubes that keep me alive. That's the stuff that terrifies me.

^^ lol mish surely you're too young for that kind of worrying? altho having a good perspective on health and eating natural food is my thing coz i want to feel good now and will likely live longer than if i didn't eat healthy. it has longterm benefits

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Originally Posted by ecojeanne [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

^^ lol mish surely you're too young for that kind of worrying?

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I know, but just knowing that at some point in time I'll probably have to go through that gives me the shivers

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Originally Posted by Lite [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I was seriously awkward when I left HS. I was still awkward looking after college. Believe it or not, I feel I'm one of those guys who actually looks better with age. I look better with graying hair, I look better with wrinkles.

I think I'm actually getting more attractive every year.

I'm in my 30's now, and more women find me attractive now than when I was younger.

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I think a man who has kept himself in shape is at his prime between 35 and 40.

I can't wait till I am really old. I can't wait to reach the age where yelling at me and raising your voice at me is considered rude.

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Originally Posted by Only-virgins [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I can't wait till I am really old. I can't wait to reach the age where yelling at me and raising your voice at me is considered rude.

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It's rude at any age. The difference being you'll eventually be old enough to wave a cane and yell at the kids to get off your damn lawn.

I knew I was old when I opened my mouth and my father's words came out. I'd spent weeks getting my lawn in shape, and these kids were trashing it. Man was I angry.

I've never really thought too much about aging, and I'm a worrier, so I guess it's just not one of the things that bothers me. Then again, I'm only 23, so I have plenty of time for that.

What DOES bother me in that regard is the fear of being alone, and (maybe this is petty) the fear of not having gotten to partake in the carefree, romantic relationships of high school and college. I know they're full of drama and all, but I just mean that I'd rather get to start my "dating" experience without the pressure of my "biological clock" ticking or people wanting to settle down.

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Originally Posted by Mishanya [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I'm actually less worried about wrinkles and how I will look older and more about things like kidney and liver failures later on in life. Not being able to maintain balance, loosing sight, being hooked up to some tubes that keep me alive. That's the stuff that terrifies me.

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That terrifies the crap out of me as well. Might sound morbid, but when I start getting older I fully intend to have a supply of barbiturates at my disposal. I will not suffer through cancer or any other debilitating disease just to appease... Hell, I don't even know what it appeases. We don't let our pets suffer. We have the compassion to put them down. But not grandpa. He's got to drown in his own mucus or scream as his guts are ravaged.

Just be sure if you try to off yourself, you do it right the first time. Otherwise, you will end up not only drowning in your own secretions, but also on renal dialysis and possibly a ventilator.

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Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Just be sure if you try to off yourself, you do it right the first time. Otherwise, you will end up not only drowning in your own secretions, but also on renal dialysis and possibly a ventilator.

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Heh, had a friend that tried to off herself. OD'd on valium and tylenol w/ codeine, taped over her head to her neck, passed out while trying to hang herself. Friend found her.

The gal's husband was so upset when he found out she might not live through the night he immediately flew home and cleaned out their bank accounts and home of all valuables. Never set foot in the hospital. Oh, did I mention that his abuse is why she tried to kill herself?

Remember, you cut along the veins not across them!

On a serious note, more and more states are creating right-to-die laws. Oregon has one, and Washington just passed one.

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Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Just be sure if you try to off yourself, you do it right the first time. Otherwise, you will end up not only drowning in your own secretions, but also on renal dialysis and possibly a ventilator.

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Sick.

I'm going to tell my fiance if I ever get to that point, that he should just tell the doctor to slowly keep upping my morphine until it kills me.

My grandma volunteers at the hospital and says this is the way the doctors typically 'take care' of the patients that are old and suffering and taking an excruciatingly long time to die.

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Originally Posted by bluesummer [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Sick.

I'm going to tell my fiance if I ever get to that point, that he should just tell the doctor to slowly keep upping my morphine until it kills me.

My grandma volunteers at the hospital and says this is the way the doctors typically 'take care' of the patients that are old and suffering and taking an excruciatingly long time to die.

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Maybe... I haven't really seen that yet, although I've seen some viable candidates for sure, poor things.

A really good point that I read about was to view age as a gift. The longer you live, the more experiences and friends you make. No matter the mistakes you make along the way, it’s the act of living the life that should be seen as great.

Well, for all of you who are in your 20's and 30's I think you should just enjoy your time right now as it is. I will be 50 this month...Yikes; as my youngest daughter said...a half century! I'm not so hung up on the number as looking in the mirror and realizing that short of plastic surgery and botox, there isn't much you can do about gravity....You can eat right, exercise and all of it, but things move with age and that's that. Kind of sucks, but then we have to forgive our bodies; especially if they have gone through a lot...like mine; four babies in five years in my 30's and three of them c-sections. One emergency, so you can imagine...but yes, this life beats the alternative!

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Originally Posted by bluesummer [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I turn 29 next week, and I'm okay with it. The way I see it, the older I've gotten the better my life has gotten, so why be upset about it?

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Exactly. In fact, I'm finding my 30s to be even better than my 20s. I can afford great food, a trainer, decent clothing and makeup.

There's a reason why Madonna, who is 50 I think, looks so great: she worked hard to afford it and waited to have kids until she could.

There are some younger parents (babies really, barely legal a couple) at my son's school. But you can see their lack of maturity and education, that also contributes to someone's attractiveness. You can usually spot a successful, professional parent compared with a teen or stay at home mom miles away. Usually by the quality of their dress, how they carry themselves and always when they open their mouths, lol.

Where I live, staying home to raise your children is considered a luxury few people can afford, and generally the families that can are comparatively affluent and educated. Of course, I suppose things may be different in Canada.

Vash, the stay at home moms where I live tend to fall into one of three categories:

1. Single welfare mom
2. Some young thing who never got educated, so it makes more financial sense for her to stay home than to work for $10 an hour part time and pay a babysitter $800 a month
3. Older women (late 20's+) with careers and an education. They can afford a few years off at home. Then they go back to work, because they want to.

I intend to fall into category three.

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Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Maybe... I haven't really seen that yet, although I've seen some viable candidates for sure, poor things.

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My mom's mentioned that to me a couple of times. I'm very, very thankful that there are decent human beings willing to help people instead of needlessly prolonging pain.

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Originally Posted by Gribble [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

My mom's mentioned that to me a couple of times. I'm very, very thankful that there are decent human beings willing to help people instead of needlessly prolonging pain.

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I don't think the doctors are upping the morphine to help people die... morphine causes peripheral pooling of blood, which helps with the pulmonary problems associated with dying in addition to reducing myocardial oxygen demands. Of course, a side effect (for the opiate-naive) is that it also suppresses respirations.

I'm personally all for treating pain aggressively, but I won't intentionally kill anyone, even if they ask me to. If someone (terminal) dies because of my honest effort to control their pain, that is an unfortunate side effect.

I just don't get why we keep people alive who are terminal. What does it serve? If your dog had cancer you wouldn't hook it up to machines and try to stretch out its suffering as long as possible. You'd put the poor thing down. To me it would be unfathomably cruel to do otherwise. And yet that's exactly what we do to our own species.

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Originally Posted by Gribble [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I just don't get why we keep people alive who are terminal. What does it serve? If your dog had cancer you wouldn't hook it up to machines and try to stretch out its suffering as long as possible. You'd put the poor thing down. To me it would be unfathomably cruel to do otherwise. And yet that's exactly what we do to our own species.

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People are not hooked up to machines without their permission (or the permission of people who are responsible for making their health care decisions).

I'm going to have it written that if I'm ever at a point where a machine is keeping me alive and I'll never recover, I want the plug pulled.