To what extent do you think about former partners?

To all you more experienced people who have had more than one serious boyfriend/girlfriend... maybe even ex-husbands or wives... I'm interested to know how they feature in your thoughts today, and how you look back on those times.
Surely everyone sometimes wonders "what if..." - so I'll ask how prominent a thought that is in your mind, if you let it be.


Do you see your previous failed relationships as having been essential stepping stones leading to your current, happy state?

Just anything that comes to mind

(the nature of the relationship(s) and the breakup will of course affect your answers, so a brief description of such things would go well with whatever else you say)

thanks a lot

there are reasons why past relationships didn't last and you mustn't forget them. usually after some times has past after a break up, most people only remember the good memories and always wonder how things might have turned out.

i say, leave the past in the past.

raverboy

I remember my last serious relationship and I'm thankful for that. It's definitely changed my outlook on relationships and how I approach them in the future.

all my serious girlfriends have been great girls. I don't think about them much but when I do it's always with a sense of fondness and gratitude.

I look back at my past relationships and see all the mistakes I had made... as well as some of the good things too. However, they failed for a reason, and I must never forget that reason.

I hate that term "failed relationships". Relationships are temporary by nature. Just because a relationship ends, it doesn't mean it's "failed".

I never think about them unless I am asked.

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Originally Posted by Charlie Boy II [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

all my serious girlfriends have been great girls. I don't think about them much but when I do it's always with a sense of fondness and gratitude.

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I never had a bad breakup either. I feel the same way. My old BFs were exactly what we each needed at the time.

yes, but what they think about me is another matter, I suspect.

Maybe its a sort of "those who forget their history are doomed to repeat it" kind of thing.

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Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I never think about them unless I am asked.

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so what memories do you keep of me?

raverboy

I have no time to think about exes, since all of my imagination is taken up with fantasies about Illusional.

But seriously, I have no rancor for exes, nor to they get a lot of my attention. If there are any bad feelings remaining, I usually assign them to my own bad judgment for staying too long or not seeing the writing on the wall.

I don't miss any of them.

Sometimes I think about them when I jerk off. That's about the extent.

Thanks for the replies. Let me clarify that I mean also what do you think about them now, if asked (and I just asked). How do you see them, looking back and considering them (you, them and the relationship)? To borrow a term from somewhere - using your retrospectroscope what do you see?

Giga's answer is an example of an interesting one - that what bad memories remain she can attribute to her own shortcomings at the time.

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Originally Posted by Gigabitch [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I have no time to think about exes, since all of my imagination is taken up with fantasies about Illusional.

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shall i make all of your dream reality??

raverboy

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Originally Posted by and_for_what [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Thanks for the replies. Let me clarify that I mean also what do you think about them now, if asked (and I just asked). How do you see them, looking back and considering them (you, them and the relationship)? To borrow a term from somewhere - using your retrospectroscope what do you see?

Giga's answer is an example of an interesting one - that what bad memories remain she can attribute to her own shortcomings at the time.

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You are just feeling lonely right now, so its natural to reminisce.

Giga is saying that she has processed her experiences into life lessons. This is something we should all try to do.

Focus on the future tho. Your future goals, not what has passed.

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Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You are just feeling lonely right now, so its natural to reminisce.

Giga is saying that she has processed her experiences into life lessons. This is something we should all try to do.

Focus on the future tho. Your future goals, not what has passed.

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no no no, don't think about this question with relation to what's happening with me right now. I know that +3 weeks is different to +3 years or +30 years and I'm just asking - such things are interesting to me at the moment.

Really - general questions like this are just general questions.

thanks

My guy wasn't too bad but we were not compatible at the time of the relationship. We are still "friends" but I don't ever think of him romantically. I do have him on my mind but I think it's because I read things on this forum and it has me thinking of my past of what could have been.

Sometimes I think we should not have broken up but then I would not be the great person I am today :lol:.

I am always thinking about my current guy but I am not going to erase all the great memories I shared with another man. Those are my memories and I had a blast in the bf/gf stage of it. I was just frightened by the husband/wife stage. :shocked:

Well, I used to have all manner of drama with my high school boyfriend. I even moved to Colorado with him when he went to college because we were so entangled that we couldn't bear to be parted. Now it's just a "what the hell was I thinking?" kind of thing.

It fades. It really does.