Help me decipher such a message.

If anyone still remembers about my experience with that girl,i've an 'update' and wish for more directives.
On the 25th dec last year0'8,we agree to give each other a 'break',time out if you understand what i mean.
I went really brutually honest with my intolerances with her,not in a ass hole manner but in very honest way.Things like these won't sound good especially tell them their problems but certains just gotta be said.
She said she needed time to think and sort out her thoughts after all that i said and think about her.
For a week,she didn't log in to IM which is not her.I could guess she block me since we had a 'confrontation'.
Never mind that.She added me on her new address the following week.It's been
2 weeks since she added me but whenever i'm online she doesn't speak to me.

There's nothing wrong if she doesn't speak to me but it makes me wonder what's the whole purpose in adding me if she doesn't want to talk.
Why not just leave me out of her new address list until she's ready to speak or just leave me out of her list and let the whole friendship fizzle out?

Is she ignoring you when you speak to her, or are you complaining that she hasn't initiated a conversation with you?

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Originally Posted by Gigabitch [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Is she ignoring you when you speak to her, or are you complaining that she hasn't initiated a conversation with you?

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Lunch break?Such fast reply.

I haven't talked to her.
No,i'm not complaining but yes,i'm wondering why hasn't she talked to me.
I'm not trying to place myself on the pedestal by demanding her to initiate conversation with me.
You see,2 days before x'mas we agree to meet on 4pm thurs.
On the day itself,i text her early morning only to receive a reply in the afternoon,3pm with her asking me where are we meeting.
1st mistake-we had agree on a place already and she's askign it again.
She told me she had a change in schedule and would call me later to arrange a time.
2nd mistake-if anyone had a change in schedule,should they inform others instead of others asking them?IT happened more than once and it bruise my ego on multiple occasion.That day was the last straw.

Since our main issues is that she doesn't take the initiative to communicate and upon adding me,she doesn't initate convo,what's the whole point in adding me to her list then?IF she's waiting for me to initate then it's like she's taking me for granted again and i don't intend to rake up any bad feelings once again.

Adding you WAS initiative. It was an invitation. You turned her down by not talking to her.

The ball has been in your court for days.

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Originally Posted by Gigabitch [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Adding you WAS initiative. It was an invitation. You turned her down by not talking to her.

The ball has been in your court for days.

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Doesn't make sense.We agree to take a break from one another she needed time to sort her thought.
Adding me one week later makes no sense if she wants me to initate convo.
She has to know that after brusing my ego and confidence,it's no more as easy to initate anything with her.
I could only relate that she add me as to her list to leave the door open but still doesn't wish to initate any convo.
She knows i'll talk to her if she wants to talk to me.

But weren't YOU the one who was "brutal" with her?

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Originally Posted by Gigabitch [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

But weren't YOU the one who was "brutal" with her?

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What's wrong?If a friendship has any issues,it's always best to be straightforward to the other party and of course without resorting to profanities.I had to tell her what was her issues.

It just bothers me knowing she add me one week after we decide to take a break.If that's the case,again,why add me?
It's awkward coming online and seeing her online but yet we're not talking.
Funny

If you want her... strike up a conversation with her... break the ice..

If not... then delete her username... easy as that.

Waiting around for her to figure out what's going through your head isn't going to get you anywhere, because she simply may not really know what you're thinking. Just like right now, you don't know what it is that she's thinking... so it would be best for you to either just ask how she's been or forget about her... rather than do this silent treatment bs - waiting for the other to cave first. Sounds like pride is getting in the way for both of you...

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Originally Posted by Aeradalia [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

If you want her... strike up a conversation with her... break the ice..

If not... then delete her username... easy as that.

Waiting around for her to figure out what's going through your head isn't going to get you anywhere, because she simply may not really know what you're thinking. Just like right now, you don't know what it is that she's thinking... so it would be best for you to either just ask how she's been or forget about her... rather than do this silent treatment bs - waiting for the other to cave first. Sounds like pride is getting in the way for both of you...

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Sorry to say that i've been putting down my pride and letting her bruise my ego for almost a year.
This time i'm placing bounderies delibrately to prevent myself from falling into the same mistakes.
WHy doesn she need to figure what i'm thinking?I did made myself clear as to what her issues was-taking me for granted.
Initating convo with her isn't tough.It's sending a few toneless words over the WWW if i put it in a cold manner but i want to see if she initate.If she does,at least i know she isnt taking me for granted.
It's been 2 weeks since anyway and for the past 1 week i've been appearing offline.

The truth be told,i'm actually thinking of changing email once again without telling her or our connected friends.It was jsut 2 days back i read her blog and she's still with her ass hole bf and seeing her happy with the new stuff in her life setting up blog shop etc etc,i don't intent to tell her "hey,you shld stay away from that bf of urs.."
It'll only rake up bad feelings.Maybe it's good to silently leave her life?

what you need to do bro ...is to give her some space..and if you gave her that already and shes acting cold on you..go for a face 2 face conversation..then things will be much clearer...talking and discussing things that serious through the net ,you can easily misintrepret peoples mssage.

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Originally Posted by TipsGoda [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

what you need to do bro ...is to give her some space..and if you gave her that already and shes acting cold on you..go for a face 2 face conversation..then things will be much clearer...talking and discussing things that serious through the net ,you can easily misintrepret peoples mssage.

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I don't think you get what i mean.
Anyway ladies,what the rationalities behind her actions?
To me as a guy,it's stupid to add me on the list and then not break the ice.What's more,we both suggested a time out from one another and she goes adding me a week later on her new mail.

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Originally Posted by UKboy [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I don't think you get what i mean.
Anyway ladies,what the rationalities behind her actions?
To me as a guy,it's stupid to add me on the list and then not break the ice.What's more,we both suggested a time out from one another and she goes adding me a week later on her new mail.

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Maybe she's keeping you as a back up, just in case her new relationship fails? In either case... seems like way too many head games here. Are you sure you want to keep playing these games? Plenty of women out there that would rather be more direct about such things...

look help yourself., just go talk to her in person. It will end all the issues. it's juz a one- time confrontation then whatever happens at least it's over and u've done your part. you dont have to keep mulling things over every night.

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Originally Posted by richeanne [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

look help yourself., just go talk to her in person. It will end all the issues. it's juz a one- time confrontation then whatever happens at least it's over and u've done your part. you dont have to keep mulling things over every night.

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Why another confrontation?Because it should be face to face?We already had a big confrontation over text on Christmas day.I'm not mulling.Mulling is a strong word.I just want to know what's with her adding and not breaking the ice.You add someone and you don't talk,funny.Why add in the first place.

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Originally Posted by Aeradalia [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Maybe she's keeping you as a back up, just in case her new relationship fails? In either case... seems like way too many head games here. Are you sure you want to keep playing these games? Plenty of women out there that would rather be more direct about such things...

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Well,from experience,she does have a tendencies to ask me if i'm seeing any girls and whether that has any relations to anything,i can't tell because when she asked such questions,she's in the r/s.
Thought she does seem happy with her bf from what i read on her journal[no i don't stalk,we're friends even before she met this guy 8 months back],there's underlying issues between them i believe.
Considering their r/s is 7months old,I wouldn't think she's opening the door for relationship,i doubt i'm willing to bruise my ego again.There's a certain resentment to be honest.
Perhaps opening the door for friendship yes.But if her intention is for me to initiate first,then i guess,there isn't much for me to do anything.

Ladies,I do want to be open to more inputs
Highly appreciated

well i think she just wants u hangin around at the moment, literally. Maybe she's not ready to talk and adds u as an "assurance" that she will talk soon. So i guess u just have to chill and get goin until she comes alive. Or better yet, if you're irritated by the no-talkin-just-adding thing, just delete her in you're account.

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Originally Posted by richeanne [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

well i think she just wants u hangin around at the moment, literally. Maybe she's not ready to talk and adds u as an "assurance" that she will talk soon. So i guess u just have to chill and get goin until she comes alive. Or better yet, if you're irritated by the no-talkin-just-adding thing, just delete her in you're account.

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We're from the same school.
Yesterdat,While going up the bus,queeing up,She turned behind and looked at me.We take the same bus.
I wouldn't have know she was in the queue too if she hadn't turned back to look.
Does it says anything or should i just pass it off as a 'casual'?

look, it will say a damn thing if she stood up and took the seat beside u and talked. But she just "looked". she might just be surprised to see u, so she freakn looked. If there's somethin more to that, she wouldn'tve let the chance passed.

Everyone has pretty much said it already. This girl took the first step by adding you, it's your turn to make a move and talk to her. Maybe she thinks that you don't want to talk to her since you haven't messaged her, but in all likelihood, she probably doesn't even realize there's a problem. Either way you need to take action and stop letting it build up inside you. The longer you wait for her to come around, the more frustrated you'll become and eventually you'll just end up sabotaging your own relationship with her because of feelings of resentment that you've created.

For the record, I almost never initiate conversations with my friends. I understand that it can be perceived as being rude, but they've learned to accept that it's not that I don't want to talk to them, it's just that I'm always doing a million other things. So just talk to her already and put your mind at rest.

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Originally Posted by kikibrown22 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Everyone has pretty much said it already. This girl took the first step by adding you, it's your turn to make a move and talk to her. Maybe she thinks that you don't want to talk to her since you haven't messaged her, but in all likelihood, she probably doesn't even realize there's a problem. Either way you need to take action and stop letting it build up inside you. The longer you wait for her to come around, the more frustrated you'll become and eventually you'll just end up sabotaging your own relationship with her because of feelings of resentment that you've created.

For the record, I almost never initiate conversations with my friends. I understand that it can be perceived as being rude, but they've learned to accept that it's not that I don't want to talk to them, it's just that I'm always doing a million other things. So just talk to her already and put your mind at rest.

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I'm curious...how does it play a role?It's not as though i didn't have her email,she merely add me on her new email one week after we argued.
What if i decide to wait another 2-3 months before talking to her and at the mean time either put her on block or appearing offline?
I feel that i'm not prepared to talk to her soon.
Furthermore,it affects me seeing her and her guy together.I keep wondering "what ifs"
I find it really really hard to swallow the fact that she gave me such shytty treatment considering we were friends before her guy came into the picture.It's totally unfair that the 'bad' guy who is the guy supposely became me.
I can understand if she doesn't talk to me right from the start but the thing is,she used to talk to me by her own and nudging me whenever i come online until she got together with that guy.

Perhaps i do need sometime to cool down too?

I had a hard time sleeping last night.So many thoughts that kept recurring in my mind which eventually resurface the resentments once again.
It seems i'm in a position where i can'tmove my chess piece.Either move puts me at a loss,an equal loss.So cutting my loss is pretty much out.

Reflecting,I know i did nothing wrong.She knew even before this argument that i was angry at her but she kept giving excuses and justifications for her actions.Almost as though,she couldn't be bothered about the friendship in the real sense.The times when she would say to hang out again but never did contact me nor initiate to talk to me whenever we were on IM.
I have so many question left unaswered.This is almost the same time last year we became friends.Really,none would have thought something would happened over the course of a few months after being friends.
Well,whinning nor complaining isn't the viable option but if i might lend a space,i do feel like venting.I've seen her got together with 2 guys and repeatedl stood by her,tolerating.
Everything seem so unfair.
I close my eyes,i see them holding hands at the CD store that i saw them and the picture they took

I mean seeing her with her with the 1st guy was bad enough but they lasted only a month.After the break up,she was really nice to me but many would have agreed with me to give her time and space which i did and believe it's the appropiate thing to do.
God knows why did someone came out of the blue and hook her up on facebook in the midst of her 'cooling down'
I know love should be unconditional but i got my temper too,like anyone.Every thing she did to hurt me.
Being a doormate or being taken for granted isn't what i had hoped for.
There seem so much justified resentment lying beneath me.
Have I taken a backseat after she got a new bf?
I'm at a point whereby if i can't get over the resentment and forgive her,i must be prepare to lose her as a friend.
Yet if i decide to continue being her friend,i have to bear with the resentment.
Eitherway serve to bring angry pain.

She sounds pretty inconsiderate to me. A lot of girls ditch their friends as soon as a guy comes into the picture, and then expect their friends to be around to comfort them when things don't work out. She will learn. Until then the best thing really is just to let it go. Realize that you can do better and deserve better than this. I know it's kind of hard to see right now, but there are hundreds of girls out there who would treat you better than this girl has. Take comfort in being the bigger person here and at least try to let it go. You know what the right course of action is.

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Originally Posted by kikibrown22 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

She sounds pretty inconsiderate to me. A lot of girls ditch their friends as soon as a guy comes into the picture, and then expect their friends to be around to comfort them when things don't work out. She will learn. Until then the best thing really is just to let it go. Realize that you can do better and deserve better than this. I know it's kind of hard to see right now, but there are hundreds of girls out there who would treat you better than this girl has. Take comfort in being the bigger person here and at least try to let it go. You know what the right course of action is.

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I just chanced upon
[url]http://www.loveforum.net/broken-hearts-forum/27088-broken-up-still-want-pursue.html#post416468[/url]

and reading lite's 13th post,it made alot of sense of instilled a whole level of magnanimous within me.
I realise what he relate were very similar to mine,except that she and I weren't couples but still,it's a human relationship afterall that commands respect and consideration.

To say,i have to hand it over to lite for being able to hold his ground still.Reading on,it's pretty true when he said that even though things might be smooth or better in the future,the sourness and resentment within me or most other person would linger but again,he has a acknowledable gf who takes responsiblity for what she did.

At this point,i'm pondering whether i should holding my ground too.She ain't a bad person on the whole and i agree with you that she has much to learn in terms of charecter development.
The main reason why i don't want to throw this friendship aside is because i don't want to go through the loss of regret years down the road,10 years,20years and or 50 years down.
I regretted not being able to tell my mum i love her when she passed on when i was 10 yo.Heck,i didn't even got to reach the hospital in time.

One thing i realise is there are better girls out there who will and have give me much attention.But i realise the fact that there will always be a better girl around the corner and it never ends.
My most likely course of action would be to be even more patient and understanding towards her.I don't think they'll last.And if they do break,i'll present to her the choice if we should continue being friend since her mind would be much clearer by then.No distractions.
Afterall,no man would like to be given an answer that's been wavered by distractions.

Would it be good if i drop her a "how's life" say in a few more weeks time.How should I stay as friend yet not fall into the friend's zone?I said she has a bf so,how should i cope with the emotions that will spun whenever i see her and the bf together?Any advises?

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Originally Posted by UKboy [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Would it be good if i drop her a "how's life" say in a few more weeks time.How should I stay as friend yet not fall into the friend's zone?I said she has a bf so,how should i cope with the emotions that will spun whenever i see her and the bf together?Any advises?

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Well, I dun fink its possible to not be in the friend zone and still be a friend. Try to move on, and 4get the fact that she has a BF. There are many other girls out there that will treat you better.
Try starting a conversation, and end it with hope we can still be friends or sumfin like tht.

I took a long bus ride out the somewhere before returning home to entertain a whole bunch of relatives.Knowing,i was in a bad mood,long bus rides are always the best.
And i know where the source of anger stem from.
It stems from the fact that I have always been trying to bring back the friendship,putting down my pride when i am right just to apologize.I'm pretty sure she realise that and perhaps somehow,she knows this friendship means alot to me and her thoughts run along the line "he'll do the same again as always so i'll just sit on my hands"
It hurts to know she apologize to her bf upteen times because she had a minor mood swing with him and would never apologize to me nor admit her mistakes.
And...not ignoring the fact that i could have been her first bf actually.I never understand why wrong events collide with me whenever i decide to know more of a girl.
It's a lose lose situation for me.
It just feel like being considerate and nice doesn't pay.
How should i handle anger and such thoughts?

Also,few days back,a female friend wanted me to take a photo with her and i obligned out of friendliness.The photo turns out rather intimate with her face stuck to mine.I'm thinking of posting on my online journal and because it's personal,it's me to post picture without saying "me and my friend".One would easily think we're couple if i post that pic.
And she has my link to the journal too.Should i post it?

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Originally Posted by UKboy [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Also,few days back,a female friend wanted me to take a photo with her and i obligned out of friendliness.The photo turns out rather intimate with her face stuck to mine.I'm thinking of posting on my online journal and because it's personal,it's me to post picture without saying "me and my friend".One would easily think we're couple if i post that pic.
And she has my link to the journal too.Should i post it?

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Dude, post the pic by all means but don't deliberately neglect to mention that she's just a friend, that's manipulative asshole behaviour.

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Originally Posted by vaneigem [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Dude, post the pic by all means but don't deliberately neglect to mention that she's just a friend, that's manipulative asshole behaviour.

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I don't get what you mean.
What i was getting about is that,it's my personal dairy and only 3 people has acess to it including her.
ANd going by the way i handle my personal stuff,like dairy,i usually just post or stick pictures without writting words because when i turn to that page,in the back of my mind,i know how this picture came about.
Unless people ask,they will usually speculate.
That aside,I would tell her the girl in the picture with me is a friend if she was well and single like before and IF SHE ASK.But i don't feel the need to anymore since she's attached and i'm not accountable to her.
No point to tell her such things anymore.

I just received a text from her today after my afternoon nap.So it's been 3 weeks of me not contating her and coming online watsoever.
It's our school holidays just and she asked how am I,how was chinese new year and is i wanted to hang out next week.

Of course,i should be really happy right?Don't get me wrong,she still my friend,at least to me.However,right now,i'm actually in an indifferent state.Have been staying home for the past weeks mostly,corping myself in the room,sleeping and watching videos.
I can't be sure if i'm in depression or just indifferent to almost everything already.
Should i agree to meet up with her?The problem lies not with meeting her itself but how i'll behave.Knowing me,i probaly pass through the motion of meeting her like a lifeless slob.
V'day is coming.It's actually my b'day too.I don't want to overestimate myself by thinking i gotton over her.

Do i or do i not meet her up...?