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I've got a problem. I'm a negative nancy. Which is weird, because deep down I am an incredibly optimistic person, but I have a very sarcastic and negative sense of humor. I say things as a joke, and normally they get taken as jokes, but I feel like people are starting to see me as a very negative person. How can I stop myself from being negative?
Can you give some examples please? There are many ways people can be negative I just cant tell just be your explanation.
I actually posted something similar to this a while ago. Just be yourself. As long as you're not insulting or hurting anyone's feelings.
The key is to be comfortable in where you are, at your group of friends. Some people never adapt to it because they are raised in some other kind of enviornment.
It could be that there is actually some controversy with you and your friends, since you don't actually adapt to normal jokes. You might be simply defensive against something. But, do not ask yourself whats wrong with you, because the key element is to be comfortable. If you think there is something wrong with you, you cannot be comfortable.
Be yourself, say whatever you want. I can be pretty muchsarcastic guy myself.
It's pretty hard to change your basic personality type. Why don't you try just saying nice, positive things in between your negative stuff to help balance you out some?
omggg. i have the same problem...well i guess it's a different kind of negative. More like sometimes i stress myself out about things constantly, and thinking about the negatives that could happen in the future, all that good stuff. My bf absolutely hates it, i guess we level each other out. He's what i would call an incurable optimist....literally. He does not let ANYTHING bother him, and sometimes it pisses me off because i feel like it's really CARELESS. I mean optimistic is good, and there is NOTHING wrong with being positive but i also like ppl to think realistically too. That's how i am, i'm usually all about common sense and being realistic.
oh yeah, count me in as well.
is it a personal problem? or just a temporally situation?
There's a difference between being prepared for bad things and willing bad things into existence by not pro-actively taking charge of your life choices.
Being negative is sometimes a fault of mine too.
I usually make one mistake bigger than what it is, as I can't change what happened in the past and just learn from it.
Nothing can be as bad as what happened then.
We can't predict what will happen in our lives, unless we try what we are afraid to do, and that is what I'm doing atm.
Its all in your mind, babe. For example:
I'm trying to improve something. I'd like to get a better attitude about life. Which is weird, because deep down I know I am an incredibly optimistic person, but I'd like my sense of humour to be less sarcastic and even more optimistic. I say things as a joke, and normally they get taken as jokes, but I feel like people should see me as being more positive. How can I start being more positive?Quote:
Originally Posted by sam17 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Sam, it's probably just a learned behavior, and those can be pretty easy to change if you're paying attention. Just try to SAY positive things for about a month. You might still think negatively, but if you're careful to only express things that are more positive, you might be surprised at how that can sink in and take root.
I used to be the most negative person on the planet. I got angry and upset easily. I rarely found the good in anything, including myself. Always sarcastic (wait...I still am ;) ).
What worked for me was teaching myself to turn my negative thoughts around when I felt them coming on. Jealousy, for example. If I started to think "Oh, so-and-so at work is such a kiss-ass for doing so well and all the bosses love her, what a bitch...." I would stop, and conciously change my thought to "Good for so-and-so for doing so well, I should congratulate her and ask her for pointers on how to do better so I can be as successful as her." Simple things like that.
It took me over five years to lose the predominantly negative attitude once I set my mind to it. You have to really want to change, and just stick with a plan. Go slowly. You'll find being more positive gets addicting, and you'll want to include that feeling in more areas of your life. Also, I've found positive thoughts bring positive things into your life. You attract good things basically.
i think it also happens naturally as you mature. feelings of jealousy especially seem to dissipate with age.Quote:
Originally Posted by bluesummer [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
change the attitude.. attitude is the mental disposition of the mind. try to develop a positive attitude try to mingle with people who have positive outlook in life. they say that our mind influence our actions.
The secret of being positive, imho, is to remember things can always bet better if you really want or work for it.
Sam 17,
I gonna give you my point of view which may be kind of different. Have you ever heard about the law of attraction? or seen the movie "the Secret"? well this says that the attitude you have is the actual way of thinking that you have. Moreover, this law says that whatever you think about the most, is what you are going to attract in your life. So, if you are being sarcastic and negative all the time, those are negative ways of expressing yourself and people feel that! They feel that you are negative and sarcastic, so they would start to avoid you because you make them feel bad when you are around them. And if you are feeling that people are avoiding you, well guess what would happen?? people would start to avoid you!!! since that is what you are thinking and projecting to people. You know what? most people dont know that 97% of communication between us is an unconcious way, so guess what? if you feel not worthy, people can perceive that, if you feel ugly, people know that too! Well it may be too much but there is a lot on the website about all this. You can serch it and you will find a lot of info... one of my favourites coaches is Arash Vossoughi, look for it.
I hope it helps.