is she too young for me?

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21-01-09, 02:00 PM
Andrew21

is she too young for me?

I'm 21, she's 18...we have the same birthday, however, I'm in my 4th year of college, and she's in her last year in highschool...I mean, I'm sure I'll find out as I get to know her if she's too immature or something, but is it really weird or creepy to date a girl who's still in high-school? I feel fine with it, but I worry my parents and friends think she's just a year or so too young...

does it hurt to give it a try and see how it goes at least? btw, I've never been in any sort of relationship before in my life..so I just talked to this girl and she asked me if I like as more than a friend, I said yes, and shes says, she just told me online she doesn't want to rush things...does that mean she's got lots of other guys she's interested in?? on the other hand, she's been asking to hang out with me almost everyday, and since I met her just a week ago, I've already been out with her twice, and met her parents and been to her house...and she wants to see me again tomorrow, and again this weekend...I'm experiencing this stage of a relationship for the first time in my life, i've never made it past a first 1 hour date before...........................................
21-01-09, 02:23 PM
Lipp

You're not quite wrong enough. You're semi-wrong. You're quasi-wrong. You're the margarine of wrong. You're the Diet Coke of wrong, just one calorie, not wrong enough.

...

But on a more serious note, 21 and 18 should be quite alright as long as it suits the two of you, 22 and 18 would be on the edge, 23 and 18 and over is where its a problem I reckon.

Its especially fine compared to all the other cases here, 17-year olds seemingly having a fetisch for men aged between 28 to 50.

Oh, and as for the whole getting together thing, just hang out, flirt around a bit to make sure that she doesnt see you as just a friend, and when the time is right, either ask her where to go from there (or the alternative being to kiss her). Probably guides lying around on this forum for something way more specific.
21-01-09, 02:29 PM
Lite

I would suggest that you wait until she's out of HS to start dating her. She may be 18, but she's still mired in a world designed for minors. Pretty much you have a far better grasp of who you are than she does, and even then you're still growing a lot.

It's not too bad of an age difference.
21-01-09, 02:34 PM
lacuna

I personally dont think shes too young, im 21 and my girlfriend just turned 19 not so long ago.
its not much of a gap and shes not like underage or anything.
21-01-09, 03:31 PM
kikibrown22

When I was 22 I dated a guy who was 19 and I found him to be more mature than the 27 year old I dated before him. Age is just a number, and in no time at all she'll be out of high school.

You both said you like each other as more than friends. My guess is that the reason she wants to take things slow is probably more related to the physical aspects of your relationship than anything. You're older, and so she probably has preconceived notions about the things that older guys expect from girls they're dating. If she wants to see you all the time and has introduced you to her parents and such, I'd say that you're the focus of her romantic interests and that there probably aren't any other guys in the picture.
21-01-09, 03:50 PM
Andrew21

Quote:

Originally Posted by kikibrown22 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

When I was 22 I dated a guy who was 19 and I found him to be more mature than the 27 year old I dated before him. Age is just a number, and in no time at all she'll be out of high school.

You both said you like each other as more than friends. My guess is that the reason she wants to take things slow is probably more related to the physical aspects of your relationship than anything. You're older, and so she probably has preconceived notions about the things that older guys expect from girls they're dating. If she wants to see you all the time and has introduced you to her parents and such, I'd say that you're the focus of her romantic interests and that there probably aren't any other guys in the picture.

yes I think you are exactly right; though I do worry I could easily fall into the friend category if things don't go a certain way, because as of now, we haven't known each other long, I'm kind of shy, and I'm just hoping I'm able to express my real feelings for her in a way that is appropriate and that she will understand, cause basically I've never kissed a girl I was interested in before, you know? I'm so new to this..i want to express myself so she knows I'm really interested in her...so she can make her decision knowing what I want if I continue to be romantically interested....

thanks!
21-01-09, 04:43 PM
doppelgaenger

One of my best friends has been dating a girl 3 years younger than him for almost 2 years now. She was in high school when they met.

It's her level of maturity you should be more concerned about.
21-01-09, 06:22 PM
IndiReloaded

Its only been a week, dude. Relax and see where it goes.
23-01-09, 12:13 AM
MavViper

damn you guys would hate me if you knew how old I am and how old my gf is.

My advice to the OP, take it slow and see where it goes.
23-01-09, 06:05 AM
Junket

Quote:

Originally Posted by MavViper [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

damn you guys would hate me if you knew how old I am and how old my gf is.

My advice to the OP, take it slow and see where it goes.

I hate you because you haven't told us.
23-01-09, 06:30 AM
vashti

You are worried about what your parents will say?

If you were my kid, I would realize you don't have any experience with girls, and I'd be okay with it, as long as HER parents were okay with it. You should ask them, just for clarity. Don't just take her word for it. They can make your life a living hell if they don't approve.
23-01-09, 06:51 AM
lesa

She is definitely not too young for you (in age); however, you two may be at different stages of life. I wouldn't date a high schooler if I was in my 4th your of college. I would wait until she gets out of high school and then check out her character. By then, I would probably have another prospect.
23-01-09, 08:39 AM
Petit Papillon

Oppps,I'm turning red. Seems that me and my bf are perverts :P Cause I'm going to be 20 and he's going to be 26 this year.
OP, I don't think it's going to be a problem. Actually I have many friends with such a age "gap" , if even it's any kind of a gap. And I think You and her are on the same maturity level,so there is no problem , IMHO :)
Greets, PP
23-01-09, 08:48 AM
lesa

I do not see an age gap in your situation or the OP's situation. To me an age gap is greater than 10 years and they are both adults. I'm talking about stages/phases of life that may be different. He could be the same age and still have that problem.

Example, lets say I am a 45 years old single mother, financially secure, working my way up the career ladder and finished doing clubs and bars at 23 y/o. Meanwhile, I am dating a 45 y/o who likes to hop bars, hang out and drink with friends all day, doesn't like children, and never had stable work. We are wasting each other's time.
23-01-09, 12:22 PM
Illusional

i dated a senior in high school when i was in my fourth year of college. i think that it more so depends on the people in a relationship, yet i thought that her mentality was too young for me.

raverboy
25-01-09, 09:49 PM
chibambi_02

you 2 will be fine

till you start arguing about stupid things

you'll get mad at her because she's childish

and she'll get mad at you because she'll think your insensitive

:emot70:
26-01-09, 03:49 AM
MavViper

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frasbee [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I hate you because you haven't told us.

I'm 25 and she is 18
26-01-09, 03:58 AM
doppelgaenger

Quote:

Originally Posted by MavViper [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I'm 25 and she is 18

No, not too young, but pushing it ;)
26-01-09, 04:39 AM
Only-virgins

Quote:

Originally Posted by MavViper [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I'm 25 and she is 18

meh, I was expecting something like 40 and she is 21 with the way you made it sound. I took 19 year old on many dates and I just turned 26. Problem with older women is they get ugly.
26-01-09, 04:43 AM
vashti

Quote:

Originally Posted by MavViper [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I'm 25 and she is 18

You are too old for her.
26-01-09, 10:37 AM
Petit Papillon

Quote:

Originally Posted by MavViper [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I'm 25 and she is 18

Guys what a big deal :P There are worst cases,this is actually ok :)

Once my male friend said "My wife isn't born yet" , he's 23 :P This case must be sick,but me and other friends hope it's just a joke :P
26-01-09, 08:59 PM
chipmunkz

nope, my friend 24 and his girlfriend 16, so you're still match enough