C'mon guys, help me understand...

Why do men oogle women?

Why must tv shows geared towards men (which is most), always have t&a shots?

Why can't men understand why women get so upset by these things?

It just seems like men think they should be able to do whatever they want and their women should just keep their mouths shut.

But I really want to understand. I'm in a relationship of 4 years, we're doing fine and we're going to Vegas soon. I just don't want to freak out on him because I'm jealous he's oogling hot chicks...it just seems so silly to get upset over that. I want to understand why men think it's ok.

I dont understand it either. We can't force them. It has to come from within for them to want to change it for the fact that it bothers you, or you can do it back. ;)

My father would constantly stare at women around my mother and make certain comments about them. It bothered her, but she learned to fire back LOL. One day, a man was walking down the street and she told my father "He looks like he's packing." My father was so shocked, and he actually stopped doing it LOL. I know it bothered him because he is who told me this story. It may not be the "right" thing to do, but hey it got him to stop.

Well, I've thought about what you're talking about, but my man, is really good at not doing it so noticeably. He's not the strip club type, either. He thinks it's a waste of time and money.

I think I just don't like watching things on TV (HBO) and seeing boobs and I don't think it should really bother me this much. WHY do I focus on something so trivial?

Tbh it kinda bothers me as well. It's something to do with being insecure. Maybe you are insecure with something about yourself?

I am insecure about my body. Ever since I had given birth to my daughter, I gained alot of weight, and to top it off, my eating habits. So now if I see my boyfriend checking another girl, whether it be on tv or in real life, I sorta freak out. I know it's my insecurities, but at the same time, I still would not like it whether I was insecure or not.

I guess you can wait for male views on this.

Theres glancing, then theres staring. Don't stereotype all men into one category.

nice pic cbrider, my bf is a sportbike racer :)

what about all the boobs on tv? how can i stop freakin' out?

Seriously, I think this is something you just outgrow. Until then, just don't watch TV.

It's impossible not to notice the opposite sex unless you're blind and deaf. The problem occurs when you stare and make comments. I don't do either and my girl thinks I have eyes for her only. This works in my favor, but I could never stop noticing. Even after years of conditioning.

Yea I thought the same thing as Vash stated. I think eventually as you get older, you learn to not care and you realize you have no control over it and you just accept it because you realize it isnt really worth the fight. But, I'm still young so I haven't reached there as yet. I hope it happens soon, though I doubt it. :)

what size are you breasts?

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Originally Posted by hot4u24 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

nice pic cbrider, my bf is a sportbike racer :)

what about all the boobs on tv? how can i stop freakin' out?

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:D My passion

Would "it's a natural reaction" be a sufficient enough response? :)

Yes, that's a great response. THANKS!

As said by someone else, it is natural.

It is our (both men's and womens') bodies' way of looking for the best mate in order to keep the species alive.

For a man, it's about a woman's replication value - waist-to-hip ration, breasts, face, eyes, nice, shiny hair...

For a woman, it's about the man's survival value - dominance, social status, resources (=wealth), strength...

You're saying you never noticed, for instance at a party, a cool, dominant, strong guy with great fashion sense, sense of humour, who'd be the epicentre of the party? I'm sure you did. But that doesn't mean you jumped him that second, does it now? :goofy:

Your man is doing the same. His subconscious mind has him analyse a potential mate when he sees one. He cannot help it just as you cannot help noticing attractive men. As long as it is just ogling, it's perfectly ok.

trust will overcome insecurity

let him dream, so long as he love's u u have nothing to worry about no matter how pretty they are... sex for a guy is different to sex for a girl.

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Originally Posted by hot4u24 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Why do men oogle women?

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I think it's a combination of two factors. One is that men are visually stimulated, and the second is that we are socially conditioned from a young age not to practice self-control and just do what we feel like. This is seen as very "masculine". If a woman does the same thing though, she is called a "bitch". It's terribly unfair, but that's our society for you!

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Originally Posted by hot4u24 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Why must tv shows geared towards men (which is most), always have t&a shots?

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Simple. Ratings.

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Originally Posted by hot4u24 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Why can't men understand why women get so upset by these things?

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Because they assume that you think like a man. A woman does not think like a man does. Evolution has programmed us with different strategies when it comes to ensuring the survival of our genes. A woman desires a man who will stick around to raise the children, and who can protect the family from predators. A man desires women who are young and healthy, and can bear healthy offspring. Women get upset when men ogle other women because of the fear it induces. They fear that the man will break his commitment to her and run off with the other woman, whereas the man doesn't see any logical reason why he can't lay BOTH women. Just because he's f***ing one doesn't mean he can't also be f***ing the other. To him, his thinking seems perfectly logical. His genes benefit most by having sex with as many women as possible, whereas the woman's genes benefit from having a man stick around to ensure her offspring survive and thrive.

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Originally Posted by hot4u24 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

It just seems like men think they should be able to do whatever they want and their women should just keep their mouths shut.

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More social conditioning here, IMHO.

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Originally Posted by hot4u24 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

But I really want to understand. I'm in a relationship of 4 years, we're doing fine and we're going to Vegas soon. I just don't want to freak out on him because I'm jealous he's oogling hot chicks...it just seems so silly to get upset over that. I want to understand why men think it's ok.

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It might be worth asking why you would get upset, and why you think getting upset would be silly. Is it that you know he will still be faithful to you even though he can't help but notice when a hot chick walks past? Is it that you will inevitably find yourself comparing yourself to those other women and feeling inadequate as a result? What, specifically, do you fear? (I don't know what the answer is, just some suggestions for things to think about.)

And it frustrates me too that so many of us men don't practice better social etiquette. I guess the best I can hope to do is to try to practice it for myself. I can't change what anyone else does.