Will she chase me?

Same girl I have been talking about.... well yesterday I was supposed to chill with her after school, she left early and told me she would be back. She never returned. When I asked her what happened I recieved a message saying "Don't get all bitchy it ran late and I had to clean my house. We can hang out later tonight if you want. So, I said whatever and went on about the night. I went into town with my friend and he saw me texting her, asking her when she wanted to chill, he laughed and demanded for me to give him the phone since I was obsessed and didn't want me to become a nag or a bitch. So, I finally got a message from her when I was in town. She wanted to hang out that night and sent me a message saying "Do you have your camera on you by any chance?" ( I always film stuff and that one night I happened to leave it at home). So, I tried to act like I didn't really care for her and 20 mins later I responded "Nope" then she texted "Well, I am still debating whether we should hang out or not" and I said "Whatever, I've got other friends" and we havent talked since. I just don't wanna chase anyone anymore. I was wondering if she would kinda chase back after I said that. No more texts or calls from her that night or this morning. I texted one time today and my last with a simple "Yo, What's up?" Bad move?

I think it was a horrible move!!! You and she were both doing such a wonderful job of trashing your own relationship and you had to screw it up by saying something normal!

Carl

ps ... yes, that was sarcasm. High school, right? Figures.

Well, should I wait for a response, text her, or just leave her be?

You DID text her, so wait for a response. Normal people take turns contacting each other. :D

Carl.

LOL, It's been like 5 hours and I know she got it.

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Originally Posted by JarOPennies [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

LOL, It's been like 5 hours and I know she got it.

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Well, what did you expect?

You said you have other friends, so why not go talk to them?

Seriously, there's a good chance the girl wasn't saying "I'm debating hanging out with you tonight," to be a bitch, but was rather looking for some encouragement like.. oh, I don't know.. something along the lines of "I'd really like to see you."

If you don't want to chase anyone or play games.. then stop doing it.

Yea, thats true. She always knows I want to see her...I wanted to see her earlier that day too but she didnt even call me to say she couldn't hang out anymore and waited for me to text her. Thats....kinda rude.

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Originally Posted by JarOPennies [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Yea, thats true. She always knows I want to see her...I wanted to see her earlier that day too but she didnt even call me to say she couldn't hang out anymore and waited for me to text her. Thats....kinda rude.

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.. So why didn't you tell her that instead of putting off texting her and giving her one word responses?

Might be more productive.

That IS rude ... but instead of becoming rude yourself, call her on it. For example, she promised you she was coming back but she didn't without the common courtesy of a quick phone call or text message saying she was detained (rude). Then she anticipated that you would be annoyed by her rudeness when she said "don't get all bitchy." (because she knew she was wrong, of course).

Instead of pouting or game playing back ("I said 'whatever' ...) the simple response should have been "I wish you had called me so I could have made other plans." (exposes her rudeness without adding any of your own). This way she knows that her feeble attempts to walk over you won't work.

If she persists in her game playing, then just tell her "you are just too undependable to be friends with" or, better yet, "I don't have time for an immature girl who wants to f**k with my head." ... and mean it! Life is too short to waste on game players ... even at your age!

Carl.

Wow... this girls sounds like a self-absorbed bitch... Carl's advice is good... you really need to call her on her rudeness... if you care to 'educate' her on how to be respectful to others. Or better yet... you can hang out with your other friends... people who won't make a game out of something that should be straightforward.. like hanging out.

God, I'm getting old... almost had to consult the Urban dictionary on some of that terminology. Sheesh...

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Originally Posted by Aeradalia [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Wow... this girls sounds like a self-absorbed bitch... Carl's advice is good... you really need to call her on her rudeness... if you care to 'educate' her on how to be respectful to others. Or better yet... you can hang out with your other friends... people who won't make a game out of something that should be straightforward.. like hanging out.

God, I'm getting old... almost had to consult the Urban dictionary on some of that terminology. Sheesh...

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Hahaha Aeradalia ... all I know is that "hanging out" is less serious than "hooking up" and far less serious than "kickin' it." :D

Carl.

Well, should I leave her alone for tonight, this weekend, or all of the week? I need help on that too. So far the advice has been great so thanks! Its always nice seeing your true side, in my case a selfless tool! :goofy:

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Originally Posted by JarOPennies [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Well, should I leave her alone for tonight, this weekend, or all of the week? I need help on that too. So far the advice has been great so thanks! Its always nice seeing your true side, in my case a selfless tool! :goofy:

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Don't be so hard on yourself, Jar.

Yeah we can get dragged into stupid s**t by girls we like ... but the sign of true manhood is to realize that girls need to be held to the same standards of courtesy and conduct as anyone else. When they get too full of themselves, it's time to bring them down a notch. Sure, there is a chance that other stupid guys will satisfy her desire for attention ... but if so, she's not the girl for you anyway. Secret for you though .... girls HATE guys who will be their personal doormat!!! Always. Girls here ... tell me I'm wrong!!! :)

Carl.

Thats so true man! But, I only realise this stuff hours after it happens. So, what would you suggest? You may say "MOVE ON!" but I like this girl alot. She makes me feel comfortable and I just wanna try a bit more before I leave, everything can turn around in a day. So, what should I do? Leave her of call her this weekend...this week?

Give her a chance but make it clear it's a LAST chance. She's been rude enough that you should feel she either has to change or she's history.

Maybe it will wake her up, maybe it won't.

Tell her what YOU expect in a relationship with you, and let her choose. Straight forward? Relationship ... game playing? Dump. This s**t's gotta end.

Carl.

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Originally Posted by carl1222 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

girls HATE guys who will be their personal doormat!!! Always. Girls here ... tell me I'm wrong!!! :)

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Only time a girl would like a guy that is submissive is if she's into BDSM... and even then... she expects him to have a backbone outside the bedroom ;)

It will be hard to move on since I see her everyday. But hey, just ignore her I guess. I dunno if I should wait till tomorrow night for any messages or calls from her, call her myself, or just not answer anything or call her. What do you guys think I should do, or what should happen?

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Originally Posted by JarOPennies [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You may say "MOVE ON!" but I like this girl alot. She makes me feel comfortable and I just wanna try a bit more before I leave, everything can turn around in a day. So, what should I do? Leave her of call her this weekend...this week?

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It's understandable that you like this girl... and such emotional attachment will certainly fill you with the desire to keep trying. However, this girl does not make you feel comfortable... if she did, then you wouldn't be wasting your time worrying about the silly games she plays.

However, you have to have a limit as to how much 'trying' you can do before the situation turns into a perpetual loop of you trying and her continually playing games with you.

In such situations an ultimatum is put forth to force a much needed decision... via Carl's suggestion:

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Originally Posted by carl1222 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

make it clear it's a LAST chance.

Maybe it will wake her up, maybe it won't.

Tell her what YOU expect in a relationship with you, and let her choose.

* Straight forward? Relationship ...

* game playing? Dump.

This s**t's gotta end.

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I'll make it easy Jar ... I think you should do whatever the f**k you want to do. Be indifferent, proclaim your love, whatever.

The important thing is really how she responds. What you should be looking for in response is ... is she up to it? or is she trying to take advantage? Sometimes being the fool can be VERY informative.

If you put yourself out there for her and she tries to play you, that's important information. Dump her a**.

Carl.

Super-simplified...

Tell her no more games... then if she:

A.) Keeps playing games... then dump her

B.) If she starts taking you seriously... possible relationship



What you need to do is let her know that she needs to make a choice... How you do that is up to you...

Alright, gotcha. Sorry if the advice seems to be going one in ear and out the other, its just that I wanna hear alot of advice and work with it. And still it hasn't been answered which is ok, but would be very helpful.-

Should I wait to call her, should I do it right now or all together wait for her to call me?

Lastly, I am really anxious to know if she even knows there is an absence of my daily texts or if she is just laughing at my attempt to make an impact. She didn't have too many friends and I wanted to see if she even noticed.

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Originally Posted by Aeradalia [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Super-simplified...

Tell her no more games... then if she:

A.) Keeps playing games... then dump her

B.) If she starts taking you seriously... possible relationship



What you need to do is let her know that she needs to make a choice... How you do that is up to you...

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The only thing I would add is, and trust me on this, she will respect you more if you do that.

Carl.

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Originally Posted by JarOPennies [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Alright, gotcha. Sorry if the advice seems to be going one in ear and out the other, its just that I wanna hear alot of advice and work with it. And still it hasn't been answered which is ok, but would be very helpful.-

Should I wait to call her, should I do it right now or all together wait for her to call me?

Lastly, I am really anxious to know if she even knows there is an absence of my daily texts or if she is just laughing at my attempt to make an impact. She didn't have too many friends and I wanted to see if she even noticed.

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^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

And yes I will take that advice

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Originally Posted by JarOPennies [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Alright, gotcha. Sorry if the advice seems to be going one in ear and out the other, its just that I wanna hear alot of advice and work with it. And still it hasn't been answered which is ok, but would be very helpful.-

Should I wait to call her, should I do it right now or all together wait for her to call me?

Lastly, I am really anxious to know if she even knows there is an absence of my daily texts or if she is just laughing at my attempt to make an impact. She didn't have too many friends and I wanted to see if she even noticed.

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OK Jar, you are still in the deficit mode. Consider this a b*tch slap! I have news for you, friend, there is neither a surplus of men nor a shortage of women. Economics 101.

You call her WHENEVER you want ... no games, just what you want to do. What SHE wants to do is up to her.

If she doesn't care, then she doesn't care ... it's way beyond trying to make an "impact" at this point.

You are still thinking that she's yours to win ... If you haven't won her by now, you never will.

With her behavior, you are hers to lose! What is wrong with you for not knowing that???

Why do you even want her?

Carl.

Go easy on him Carl... he seems inexperienced with this... and infatuation is difficult to overcome for some...

I'm beginning to forget that myself. I keep thinking that she will start to miss me talking to her and paying attention to her after a few days, but at the same time I wanna talk to her badly. So its- make her wait and attempt to leave an impact but as you said that would probably fail, or be a man and just call her.

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Originally Posted by Aeradalia [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Go easy on him Carl... he seems inexperienced with this... and infatuation is difficult to overcome for some...

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Now is not the time to "go easy" aeradalia.

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Originally Posted by JarOPennies [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I'm beginning to forget that myself. I keep thinking that she will start to miss me talking to her and paying attention to her after a few days, but at the same time I wanna talk to her badly. So its- make her wait and attempt to leave an impact but as you said that would probably fail, or be a man and just call her.

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If she is self-centered... she will never really notice your absence.. so that could very easily prove futile to do.

Yes... one day you will be a man... might as well start early. Just call her... put your worried mind to ease --- either she chooses to keep playing or takes you seriously. Then you can make your decision to dump her or pursue something more meaningful with her.

Don't listen to the "follow your heart" bs... it's as blind as a bat and will lead you into trouble. You have to guide your heart with your mind... no sense in breaking your heart needlessly...

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Originally Posted by JarOPennies [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I'm beginning to forget that myself. I keep thinking that she will start to miss me talking to her and paying attention to her after a few days, but at the same time I wanna talk to her badly. So its- make her wait and attempt to leave an impact but as you said that would probably fail, or be a man and just call her.

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Be a CONFIDENT man, Jar ... call her and tell her what you expect in a relationship. Then leave the choice up to her. The status quo is not working for you ... tell her what you want and let her decide whether she can live up to that. Relationships work best when they are between equals.

Carl.

Lol, don't worry about it. Your still helping me no matter how you word it so I'm cool with it. Don't worry. She also see's me as a friend. I should have said that.

Aw ****....What a mess

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Originally Posted by carl1222 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Now is not the time to "go easy" aeradalia.

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Just responding to this part:

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Originally Posted by carl1222 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

With her behavior, you are hers to lose! What is wrong with you for not knowing that???

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Inexperience with infatuation hints that he may not have experience with a girl who plays games either...

True... tough advice is needed... but cannot fault him for not knowing something he may not have had a chance to learn about yet...

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Originally Posted by Aeradalia [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Just responding to this part:

Inexperience with infatuation hints that he may not have experience with a girl who plays games either...

True... tough advice is needed... but cannot fault him for not knowing something he may not have had a chance to learn about yet...

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I don't fault Jar one tiny bit, Aeradalia.

I'm asking him to think outside of the box of infatuation for his own good.

Very destructive things as in "She also see's me as a friend. I should have said that."

Jar ... if it's just a friendship would you be comfortable if she told you she had a lover? And how happy and excited she is to be with him?

I didn't think so.

She will never be your friend as long as you have romantic feelings for her.

Carl.

No, I would not be cool with that. Now this is why I am so confused. I buy her everything and walk her home alot. She wants someone who is "Badass". I don't get it. I'm not a weak kid, but at the same time I don't think Im a hardass and talk shit to be cool. I know when and when not to talk. Apparently I am cute, but thats it. She says "I wish there was someone perfect for me, who will walk with me and listen to me and was all around nice". Now I thought that was her chance to flirt with me and I just said some stupid "Sounds like me" and then it went all serious and she told me I wasn't her type. From looks....Im not ugly, Im not. I ask people how old I look (I am 17) and she is 15. They tell me I look my age, but some how she says I look 14???? I just don't wanna loose her. I want to stop being her friend and be a boyfreind!

Ugh.. she's 15? Can hardly expect her to make much of a decision at all...

She has no idea what it is she wants in a guy... but one thing is clear... what she doesn't want is apparently you as she said you weren't her 'type.'

I think that's about as close to 'no' as you're going to get on the whole relationship idea.

As much as that makes me want to put a .45 in my mouth, I have to accept it. I'm gonna leave her alone. I was such a good guy to her, but as I can see it wasn't enough. Whatever.

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Originally Posted by JarOPennies [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

As much as that makes me want to put a .45 in my mouth, I have to accept it. I'm gonna leave her alone. I was such a good guy to her, but as I can see it wasn't enough. Whatever.

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Let's not be rash here... btw.. .45 is way too messy... at that close of range a .22 will suffice.. it just scrambles the brain then.. without ruining much of your 'appearance'.. ;)

Anyway... you sound like a really nice guy.. and it's not that you weren't 'enough'... she's just hasn't made up her mind or thought it was funny to play games with you... who knows? But I doubt it was from any fault of your own.

Oh wait ... she wants a badass?? She is both the saddest and most dispicable creature on the earth.

Forget all my advice ... bail and bail right now.

Unless you are prepared for her f**king some uncaring guy who will have her, wipe his d**k on her drapes and leave without as much as a "thank you, ma'am."

She's not only the wrong girl for you, she's absolutely toxic. For girls like her I suggest mandatory lubal ligation. She is beyond the worst of the worst.

She can't be "fixed", don't even try! Run fast and forget about her!

Carl.

Thanks for the advice guys! I'll leave her be, ignore her and see what happens

And carl- LOL. Damn dude that made my day! But I guess its true?!

And I don't care that she is only 15 ... she is still toxic.

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Originally Posted by carl1222 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

mandatory lubal ligation.

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Ouch Carl... hope that includes anesthesia... if not.. then that's just as bad as the sentence the other day that included the words 'erection' and 'cut'. :horror: