Hmm... 20 and 26 year old girlfriends...

Is it strange for 2 girls, one who is almost 21 years old, and the other who is 26 years old, to be such close friends? I figure girls generally hang with girls their age. Why would a 26 year old bond so closely to a 20 year old?

My friends ex girlfriend (the 20 year old) broke up with him a couple months ago, and its right around the time this 26 year old (who works with her) befriended her. These chicks got EXTREMELY close... and he found out this 26 year old recently broke up with HER bf to. I know that girls run in packs... so me and my friend were thinking maybe this 26 year old had an influence on her... very easy for a 26 year old to influence a 20 year old, especially if she wants a single girlfriend to hang out with. Could this be the case... also how close could they actually be? Ladies... isn't this a big gap? The 20 year old and 26 year old should be on two different maturity levels right? I told my buddy as soon as the 26 year old finds a guy, his ex (20 year old) is going bye bye... because the older one will be looking to settle down sometime soon right? We are pondering this because he knows theres some other influence (besides the factors already known - their relationship problems) that lead to the breakup. His instincts tell him there is some outside force at work here... and this 26 year old girl is probably it... right?

Um, would those be the "instincts" that drive people to come up with odd reasons for being broken up with so they don't have to think about the REAL reasons?

IMO, it's not so weird to have a friend that is 6 years older than you are. In sixth grade, yes, but at 20? Not so much. Also, the likelihood of a 20 year old breaking up with anyone for any reason is pretty strong.

I think he's reaching for this one.

It sounds like he's trying to shift blame to someone or something else or trying to find an alternate reason for the breakup. If they had problems, that was probably the cause of it.. is that to say she didn't get advice from her new found friend on it? No. But does that mean it led to the break up? Not necessarily.

On the flip side, if she was influenced by this person to break up with your friend.. do you really think the relationship would have lasted? If her actions are that influenced by other people, it's a bad sign.

As for the whole age gap thing-- I don't think it's weird. I think it would be weird if maybe she was younger, but when you're both adults, in your twenties, the age thing isn't really an issue. I have friends that are in their mid to late twenties and they enjoy all the things I enjoy.. just because they have a few years on me doesn't really play into anything. I get the whole concept of an "older person having influence," but that's not necessarily the case here.. especially if they're legitimately close friends.

I have friends who are anywhere from 18 years old to 29 nears old.

are you being serious here??? age is nothing but a number... look at you and your overly possessive yet older bf.

raverboy

They abandoned sausage for taco

Im pretty sure she didnt abandoned him to go muff diving... but i guess there always the chance. The .002% chance. But ruling that scenario out... I know this girl is influencing her. I understand "well if she can be that easily influenced then there were problems anyways" blah blah... but we are all under some sort of influence by others. Take this website for example what are we all doing on here right? Advice can influence how we act. So also moving past that... this older chick is the definitley one of the catalysts to their break up.. yes? (im not saying there arnt others, such as their own personal problems, but this girl is one of them I am confident in that).

haha ok so i was thinking of the wrong author if no one caught it.. but still say that age isn't a thang but a number.

raverboy

well you say its only a number... but its really not in this case, and actually in most cases now that I think about it. If it was only a number I myself could have sex with an underage girl and it wouldnt matter right? But in fact it would. So ANYWAYS.... does anyone see how the breakup can be in some way tied to this older female friend, who also broke up with her boyfriend around the same time... i mean cmon right?

well in that case, why don't i have sex with a 100 year old woman?? you're not reading in between the lines...

people don't act immature because of the number of birthdays that was written on their last card. they act accordingly because they are more or less matured. everyone is different.

getting back to your thread.. maybe your friend is a dumb ass and this break up was coming. all his ex needed was someone with a strong willed mind to set in her in the right direction. honestly i dunno the case, but it's you're jumping to the conclusion that an older woman was the case of this break up, it IS a possibility, but i'm telling you that it's not the only possibility. you're just going to have to open your eyes and tell your friend to wake up because shit happens. age is still nothing but a number, regardless if you want to mess around with little babies.

raverboy

how do you know this older girl is the right direction? Maybe my buddy and their relationship is the right direction, but she sees how much "fun" this older bitch is having and thinks "hm maybe I want to try that" I mean cmon shes only 20 (almost 21)... in other words im saying she might not even know the right direction. I still say its strange for a 20 year old to be so close with a girl that much older than her. And im not saying shes the reason for the breakup.. just a factor. I could start another much longer thread with the other bigger factors if youd like?

To be honest, one of my best friends is 26 and I'm 20 so no I don't find it at all a bit strange. I think that girls usually hang out with people older to be honest with you. I've always had friends that are older than me, just a maturity level thing. And honestly, the 26 year old might have had some influence on her, but only if she had to, not because she recently broke up with her boyfriend. I think that there is more to the story behind why your friend and his girlfriend broke up. & I think that maybe your friend should look back on his relationship and make sure that he was always there for her, treated her right, because more than likely she started getting close with this friend because he wasn't letting her getting close enough to him, or she was looking for someone to give her advice and this friend of hers told her things that made her realize that your friend just wasn't the one for her.

-Tiffany-

yo ccc.. i'm not saying that she IS or ISN'T.. you're still missing my point.

i'm telling you NOT to jump to conclusions. if you feel that this girl is wrong for your friend then break it off... if you feel different then keep her around. that's what i'm saying. look before you jump or assume for this matter.

raverboy

good insight, I do see your point. I just have a feeling this older chick is a manipulator and a sleeze .

well she might be... or she's just a strong willed person who speaks her mind. this girl might be naive and just follows older people.

what i'm saying is that not all older people are bad, nor should you judge someone by their age.

raverboy

yeah I dont know the older girl myself... so I cant talk about her really, and I havnt. But I do have a suspicion she aint no good (from what my buddies ex has told him) that this girl is 1) trash talking my buddy 2) getting his ex involved in dumb shit... for example shes still 20 but this chick can get her into diff bars and clubs to go drinking and 3) shes a fat ugly ho and my boys ex is gorgeous, shes using her. Shes using her as bait. Ok that last part was purely a crazy speculation but still. You see where im going?

maybe they both broke up with their boyfriends because they are lesbians? bisexual?...i mean that could explain how well they connected and how close they got?! just a guess?

naw I thought about that... chances are slim to none. Actually more like none. If in fact his ex was muff diving, the girl would be way more attractive.

haha well i started drinking before the age of 21 and look how i turned out?? yes, i'm an asshole so you might want to take that into consideration.

raverboy

yeah but your also a guy.

She's 20, not 12. You're acting as if she is some newly-hatched little thing incapable of independent thought. Even if her friend is a nasty sleaze, if your buddy was so great, she wouldn't have been able to break them up.

what does me being a guy have any difference?? girls can be assholes too!!

raverboy