Two Great guy only 1 me

Hello all, I've never done this before but I need advice badly. Ok here's the sitch.
I'm in an almost perfect relationship. My BF and I have been dating for almost 3 years. I only have 1 problem, I have a friend (he lives in the UK).Me and him have this crazy amazing chemistry. He broke up with his fiance a few moths ago and now were talking more and more and he might come to see me in a couple of months and I'm really scared that Im gonna fall for him. He's always been the guy that I wondered what it would be like to be with him and i've always told my self, if I had a chance to be with him and I don't take it I will regret it FOREVER. Well he's finally single and he really wants to be with me. What I'm getting to is that I want to see where this could go with him but I'm afraid to leave my BF because what if things don't work out and I give up a really great guy who adores me. My BF is the practical choice to be with, but the UK guy is someone I've wanted for about 15yrs. What do I do???? Please help me!!!! THANKS!!!!

You must not be completely satisfied with your "practical choice" boyfriend if you're thinking about being with someone else. It's messed up towards your boyfriend for you to be thinking of him as just an option after 3 years, and considering other ones as well.

How would you feel if your boyfriend felt like you do? Would you want him to stick with you because it's practical, easy, and comfortable while he's thinking of the great chemistry and possibilities he has with another woman?

What if you're just a rebound to this friend? He did just get out of a relationship.

I say, either stop talking to this friend, because it's only doing harm than good for your relationship with your boyfriend. Or, dump your boyfriend for the friend and let your boyfriend find someone who is completely satisfied with him alone. The second option is probably best.

.. Have you ever even met this other guy?

wow.. i bet if you think you already know what you need to do.. your present boyfriend does not really seem to be someone that you are committed to 100% because if he was, you would not even be thinking about this other guy in the context that you are..
so, be an adult, tell your boyfriend that you would like to see other people and make sure he understands that, and when the other guy comes, you are not doing anything wrong when you go out with your UK guy.

you need to decide what you're looking for and whether your current bf fits the bill. there are always going to be new and interesting people that come into your life. is the UK guy just one of those temptations (in which case, you need to stop engaging with him and remove the temptation) or is he really the one you want to be with?

it sounds like your current bf might be a great guy but just not a great guy for you... either way, you should have enough respect for him to be upfront about it.

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Originally Posted by Natasha3 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

He's always been the guy that I wondered what it would be like to be with him and i've always told my self, if I had a chance to be with him and I don't take it I will regret it FOREVER.

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There are lots of others things you could regret FOREVER as well

girls like you are the basic cause of the theory "don't ever get too attached to a girl , she'll dump you for someone eventually " well it isn't that bad since it's only a bf but i wonder if you've taken your bf feelings into count :bored:

No matter how great or hot or good looking a guy is, he can be a total a-hole, don't forget that. You never know what bad habits he may have or how difficult he is to live with. Certain things like that can make a really hot attraction lose heat fast. I know. I had this hot guy living with me for a month (as a friend only-I was helping him out) --- and egads after living with the guy for a month I couldn't stand him!!! And I found him very UNattractive after that.

I've decided that men are better at closing 'mental doors' than women are.

Anyway, date them both. You know you'll love the extra attention. Don't tell. If either finds out, just pick the one that suits you best. If it doesn't work out, I'm sure you'll find a way to weasel yourself back into his life. :P

There's nothing wrong with you wanting to see what will happen with the UK guy. But you need to break up with your bf before he visits and if it doesn't work out with UK guy, under no circumstances should you go back to your bf. He is not your fallback option. If he isn't good enough for you right now, why should he be good enough later when your first option doesn't work out?

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Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I've decided that men are better at closing 'mental doors' than women are.

Anyway, date them both. You know you'll love the extra attention. Don't tell. If either finds out, just pick the one that suits you best. If it doesn't work out, I'm sure you'll find a way to weasel yourself back into his life. :P

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Indi, I can't believe you are advising her to cheat on her boyfriend!!!

What Cain said ... word for word. No, wait ... I would change one thing:

Since you aren't good enough for him right now, why would you be good enough later when your first option doesn't work out?

Carl.

Why not? Isn't that what she is proposing to do anyway?

Ever heard of polyandry? :D

Its apparently quite rare, historically. There are a few female leaders who managed to pull it off, tho.

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Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Why not? Isn't that what she is proposing to do anyway?

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Of course it is, but unless you were being sarcastic (it's not obvious from your post), it seems like you are telling her it's a good idea to do it.

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Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

(Polyandry is) apparently quite rare, historically.

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But not prehistorically. Human testicles are disproportionately large compared to many other primates suggesting that at some point in our history, natural selection was accomplished on a wide scale by sperm competition (polyandry).

Carl.

Women have two advantages over men. Undeserved advantages. Advantages they don't even exploit. One, women are capable of multiple orgasms. Two, women are capable of having sex with more than one partner at the same time. Keep that in mind.

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Originally Posted by Gribble [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Women have two advantages over men. Undeserved advantages. Advantages they don't even exploit. One, women are capable of multiple orgasms. Two, women are capable of having sex with more than one partner at the same time. Keep that in mind.

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LOL! Good one Gribble! :D

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Originally Posted by Gribble [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Women have two advantages over men. Undeserved advantages. Advantages they don't even exploit. One, women are capable of multiple orgasms. Two, women are capable of having sex with more than one partner at the same time. Keep that in mind.

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True Gribble ... but males have one advantage that they often DO exploit to their own ruin. Men are capable of fathering many children simultaneously.

I'm still wondering if she's ever even met this guy.

i think she is a troll.

but i'd say date them both. guys do it all the time.

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Originally Posted by Sonrisa [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

i think she is a troll.

but i'd say date them both. guys do it all the time.

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All guys, right?

There's a difference between talking to multiple people at the same time and being in a relationship with multiple people at the same time.

I'll drop a girl in a second if she thinks she'll be in a relationship with me and someone else.

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Originally Posted by Cain [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

All guys, right?

There's a difference between talking to multiple people at the same time and being in a relationship with multiple people at the same time.

I'll drop a girl in a second if she thinks she'll be in a relationship with me and someone else.

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IF you find out about it.

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Originally Posted by Sonrisa [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

IF you find out about it.

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I know that you're bitter because guys have tossed you to the side of the road like the week's trash, but does that mean you need to start advising women as being against men? Maybe the men just didn't want you.

Look, advising someone to cheat and maintain two relationships is stupid. It's not the same as talking to other people.

aha, she doesn't need my advice. she knows what she needs to do for her own good. there's no need to worry about someone else when you are trying to choose between the two men.

Carl, yes I was being sarcastic. that's what this ;P is for.

And I agree with you about polyandry as far as sperm competition goes & large balls. That is rather common in the animal world. I thought you meant multiple husbands, i.e. socially as opposed to biologically.

Read The Red Queen, you'll like it. Females cheat all the time on their mates, esp with second+ offspring:

Some Say Money Matters, But My Brother Says Big Balls Matters Most

(for DM, and Vash^) ;)

OOO To Touch And Feel A Girl's Vagina AH.

Some Say Marry Money But My Brother Says Big Business Makes More (I say do both) :lol:

Lesa, you are my Pavolvian Pooch, you know this, right? :)

Yes. Without my responses your posts would be too dreadful for others to bother replying. No worries. I am here to assure others that it’s okay to respond and that you are being entertaining and welcoming although it may be difficult for others to tell. :goofy:

You paraphrase a lot.

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Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Carl, yes I was being sarcastic. that's what this ;p is for.

And I agree with you about polyandry as far as sperm competition goes & large balls. That is rather common in the animal world. I thought you meant multiple husbands, i.e. socially as opposed to biologically.

Read The Red Queen, you'll like it. Females cheat all the time on their mates, esp with second+ offspring:

Some Say Money Matters, But My Brother Says Big Balls Matters Most

(for DM, and Vash^) ;)

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I figured it for dry sarcasm, but imagined the OP saying "Yay ... someone thinks it's OK!!" :D

Thanks for the book suggestion. It reminded me that a few weeks ago, someone was posting here about the "virtue" of life-long monogamous birds and how people should be more like them.

But according to a PBS article: "Because avian offspring require a lot of parental care -- incubating the eggs and feeding the nestlings -- it seemed to both parents' advantage to be hardworking, faithful partners. Scientists using DNA "fingerprinting" have discovered instead that a surprising number of eggs in birds' nests contain another male's genes. Behind the appearance of monogamy, 'sexual fidelity is hard to find,' as science author Virginia Morell put it."

I also read somewhere that birds f**k their monogamous partners in the open, but sneak off to cheat ... just like humans.

Carl.

Yes. And some, like crows, have entire family structures. If something happens to the offspring in a group, someone else in the family takes over. So its possible they are cheating, but only within a limited genetic 'family pool', which makes sense from a social structure standpoint. Actually, crows are bloody intelligent, check this out. I promise it is not a waste of 9 minutes:

[url]http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/joshua_klein_on_the_intelligence_of_crows.html[/url]

i may be wrong but we are human not animals :bored:
well i am:smug: human

You are the only human on the board, babe. The rest of us are really good computer programs sent to study you. The DoD is watching.

hey don't take it that way :stuckup:
i was just trying to make you understand that animals do it just for reproduction while it has other meanings for humans so i'd say these comparaisons are not really helping:bored:

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Originally Posted by hohol [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

i was just trying to make you understand that animals do it just for reproduction

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Unfortunately, you are wrong. There are plenty of examples of purely recreational sex in animals. Read & learn:

[url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Animal_sexuality[/url]

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Originally Posted by Natasha3 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Hello all, I've never done this before but I need advice badly. Ok here's the sitch.
I'm in an almost perfect relationship. My BF and I have been dating for almost 3 years. I only have 1 problem, I have a friend (he lives in the UK).Me and him have this crazy amazing chemistry. He broke up with his fiance a few moths ago and now were talking more and more and he might come to see me in a couple of months and I'm really scared that Im gonna fall for him. He's always been the guy that I wondered what it would be like to be with him and i've always told my self, if I had a chance to be with him and I don't take it I will regret it FOREVER. Well he's finally single and he really wants to be with me. What I'm getting to is that I want to see where this could go with him but I'm afraid to leave my BF because what if things don't work out and I give up a really great guy who adores me. My BF is the practical choice to be with, but the UK guy is someone I've wanted for about 15yrs. What do I do???? Please help me!!!! THANKS!!!!

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People like you are the reason I dont respect women like I used to

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Originally Posted by Natasha3 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Hello all, I've never done this before but I need advice badly. Ok here's the sitch.
I'm in an almost perfect relationship. My BF and I have been dating for almost 3 years. I only have 1 problem, I have a friend (he lives in the UK).Me and him have this crazy amazing chemistry. He broke up with his fiance a few moths ago and now were talking more and more and he might come to see me in a couple of months and I'm really scared that Im gonna fall for him. He's always been the guy that I wondered what it would be like to be with him and i've always told my self, if I had a chance to be with him and I don't take it I will regret it FOREVER. Well he's finally single and he really wants to be with me. What I'm getting to is that I want to see where this could go with him but I'm afraid to leave my BF because what if things don't work out and I give up a really great guy who adores me. My BF is the practical choice to be with, but the UK guy is someone I've wanted for about 15yrs. What do I do???? Please help me!!!! THANKS!!!!

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Take a good long look at your current relationship... the pro's and cons of it. Then take a serious look at the pro's and cons of this other guy (an honest look... let's not fool ourselves now).

Are the pro's of this 'new' guy worth throwing away what you and your current boyfriend have built together? If you're wanting a long term relationship... then you're going to have to learn how to deal with temptation --- the notion that the grass is always greener.

If you honestly feel this 'new' guy is a 'bigger, better deal' then you need to break up with your current bf. Yes, you will probably lose him indefinitely... as he will move on to someone else, but that's the risk you take.

So is this guy really good enough to leave your bf for him? If he isn't... then don't act on impulse -- learn to say no to temptation then. If he is... leave your boyfriend before you do anything more, and gamble once more at the game of love.

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Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Yes. And some, like crows, have entire family structures. If something happens to the offspring in a group, someone else in the family takes over. So its possible they are cheating, but only within a limited genetic 'family pool', which makes sense from a social structure standpoint. Actually, crows are bloody intelligent, check this out. I promise it is not a waste of 9 minutes:

[url]http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/joshua_klein_on_the_intelligence_of_crows.html[/url]

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That was brilliant!!

Did your friend in the UK dump his fiance for you?

Didn't think so. If he really wanted to be with you, and didn't think of YOU as the second choice option, he would have.

Did he propose marriage to you instead, giving you security to drop what you have? Or did he just buy a plane ticket and plan to come out for a good time?

I also have a friend in a different country whom I have insane chemistry with. He told me that he wanted to come see me and stay with me at the end of the year, and I flat out told him that that was fine... but if I find myself in a relationship when he gets here, he's going to have to find somewhere else to stay.

So you should go ahead and dump your boyfriend. See where that leads.

I think Natasha has left the building