Your girlfriend cuts the night short to go party. How would you feel?

You have a girl friend that loves to party and ecstacy (as in the pill). One day you have a major fight which almost ends the relationship. 3 weeks later you make up and everything is back to normal. With extra passion and missing because of the long time that you didnt see or talk to each other.

So you agree to meet each other the 2nd day you made up. She comes over to your place looking gorgeous. You have hot, passionate make up sex. Youre all over each other the whole time. About 4 ours later...at about 4 in the morning. She calls her friends to come and pick her up. She had already planned to have them pick her up from your place so they could go party. But she didnt tell you that. You didnt know that she was going to be picked up by her friends so they could go party...until she got off the phone and said "baby, im going right now".

Her friends come, they wait outside for her to come out, she dresses up, puts on her make up and off she goes. She goes to a private party and spends the entire night there loading up on ecstacy pills. She goes back home at 4 pm.

Now how would you feel if you were the guy? You hadnt seen your girl friend in 3 weeks. When you make up, the first time you see her after you made up. She spends 4 hours with you and then without giving you prior notice, she has her friends come and pick her up from your place so she spends 12 hours with them partying while on ecstacy. And mind you...its not like you can see each other ever day either. You can only see each other on the weekends. So basicaly, she used up the majority of the available time to spend with her 1 or 2 friends and a bunch of strangers. This in the same day you made up after a huge fight. So as the guy, how would you feel?

that's weird. I've never heard of anything like that. I have some friends (including girls) who party pretty hard and I never heard of anything like that.

It actually sounds like she just wanted to get laid. Or she might just be really young. Is she 18?

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Originally Posted by Charlie Boy II [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

that's weird. I've never heard of anything like that. I have some friends (including girls) who party pretty hard and I never heard of anything like that.

It actually sounds like she just wanted to get laid. Or she might just be really young. Is she 18?

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lol how did you figure that? Yes. She is 18.

she doesn't want to be tied down. she wants to be free.

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Originally Posted by Freefalling [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

lol how did you figure that? Yes. She is 18.

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haha, yeah I guess that makes more sense. Girls that age are crazy. They can't sit still. And, as far as they're concerned, the universe orbits around them.

She's going to give you some heartache if you let her, sounds like.

Even so - I never heard of starting a night at 4am. She sounds pretty wild.

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Originally Posted by misombra [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

she doesn't want to be tied down. she wants to be free.

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Misombra do you have to be so obscenely biased toward the female in every scenario?? If this was a female posting about her boyfriend bailing at 4am for a twelve hour pinger binge you'd be giving your regular tough-girl schtick about cutting his balls of and not taking that kind of disrespect and kicking him to the curb etc, etc, etc.

I'm not up on rave culture, but don't those parties typically last into the morning hours?

I guess it doesn't matter; in the end it all comes down to her interest in partying being greater than her interest in hanging out with you. Personally, I think you should kick her to the curb.

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Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I'm not up on rave culture, but don't those parties typically last into the morning hours?

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Her party went from 4am to 4pm!

Buddy, are you sure she's just having pingers? That sounds to me more like meth or something.

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Originally Posted by Charlie Boy II [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Misombra do you have to be so obscenely biased toward the female in every scenario?? If this was a female posting about her boyfriend bailing at 4am for a twelve hour pinger binge you'd be giving your regular tough-girl schtick about cutting his balls of and not taking that kind of disrespect and kicking him to the curb etc, etc, etc.

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cause i'm a bitch.

I'd dump her. She's immature.

Actualy, let me rephrase that, I'd dump her like a rock and find myself a decent, caring and loving girl, who respects me and doesn't use me as a boytoy.

Moral of the story: some guys are dildo's.

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Originally Posted by Freefalling [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You have a girl friend that loves to party and ecstacy (as in the pill). One day you have a major fight which almost ends the relationship. 3 weeks later you make up and everything is back to normal. With extra passion and missing because of the long time that you didnt see or talk to each other.

So you agree to meet each other the 2nd day you made up. She comes over to your place looking gorgeous. You have hot, passionate make up sex. Youre all over each other the whole time. About 4 ours later...at about 4 in the morning. She calls her friends to come and pick her up. She had already planned to have them pick her up from your place so they could go party. But she didnt tell you that. You didnt know that she was going to be picked up by her friends so they could go party...until she got off the phone and said "baby, im going right now".

Her friends come, they wait outside for her to come out, she dresses up, puts on her make up and off she goes. She goes to a private party and spends the entire night there loading up on ecstacy pills. She goes back home at 4 pm.

Now how would you feel if you were the guy? You hadnt seen your girl friend in 3 weeks. When you make up, the first time you see her after you made up. She spends 4 hours with you and then without giving you prior notice, she has her friends come and pick her up from your place so she spends 12 hours with them partying while on ecstacy. And mind you...its not like you can see each other ever day either. You can only see each other on the weekends. So basicaly, she used up the majority of the available time to spend with her 1 or 2 friends and a bunch of strangers. This in the same day you made up after a huge fight. So as the guy, how would you feel?

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You know how You felt,You don't need to ask about it .

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Originally Posted by Charlie Boy II [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Her party went from 4am to 4pm!

Buddy, are you sure she's just having pingers? That sounds to me more like meth or something.

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Naaah, those she takes extasy,at least amfetamine or cockaine.If she would take meth, her face would be like shit and she wouldn't have her teeth so called Meth mouth :)
I know many people who have had parties with extasy. Most grew out of this, some take from time to time.
my best friend when I met her took extasy for each party(we were 16yo) .She always said she don't know how to have party without it. And at once she stopped.
Most of my friends who took drugs say now that alcohol is enough to have a party.

yeah if she was on meth she would've never gone to your house unless you had meth.

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Originally Posted by Yggdrasil [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I'd dump her. She's immature.

Actualy, let me rephrase that, I'd dump her like a rock and find myself a decent, caring and loving girl, who respects me and doesn't use me to get laid.

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i disagree. i think he should get her pregnant and propose marriage.

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Originally Posted by misombra [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

yeah if she was on meth she would've never gone to your house unless you had meth.

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Or she would do a meth lab out of his kitchen :D

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Originally Posted by misombra [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

i disagree. i think he should get her pregnant and propose marriage.

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I love your sarcasm :)

Kick her to the curb huh

Yeah, basically. Stand up for yourself. If you're not happy, kick her to the curb.

WYSIWYG.

If you don't like party girls, don't date them. There are plenty of fun, responsible, interesting 18 year old girls. Why don't you find one of those instead?

Its not that i dont like her. Its that i didnt like what she did. I wanted to know if what she did was normal or not. I wanted to know if i was being irrational by being offended by what she did.

yeah it's not a nice thing to do to someone. but it's something girls that are very young do.

you can either put up with it or not. most people would not.

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Originally Posted by Freefalling [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Its not that i dont like her. Its that i didnt like what she did. I wanted to know if what she did was normal or not. I wanted to know if i was being irrational by being offended by what she did.

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Its not a question of 'normal', its a matter of preference.

I'm not sure, in this case, what the difference is b/t not liking her vs. what she did. Who she is, is a person who enjoys partying in the wee hours before dawn. She also takes drugs and, I would guess, is more likely to be involved in high-risk sexual activities. It goes with that lifestyle.

Personally, I wouldn't even be interested in someone who would take off to party at 4am. So, being offended wouldn't even come into it for me, I'd just decide I prefer someone with a different lifestyle.

Not much scares me, but Ecstasy would be one of those things. I don't think people realize how dangerous it is. It might not harm your lungs or face, but it will steal your soul. It depletes and stops production of Serotonin, which controls anger, mood, appetite and other important functions.

This girl is 100% party and 100% all about her... and those percentages leave little time for you.

So... do you want to try to fit into her busy schedule of partying, try the mostly unsuccessful approach of changing her... or... do you want to find someone else who would like to include you in their life as someone more than a boy toy or after thought?

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Originally Posted by Freefalling [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

So as the guy, how would you feel?

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I would say to myself, "well I chose her". Now, I either accept her behavior or leave.

I hear ya. And i really appreciate all your inputs on this. What id like to know know is... What is the cause of her behaviour? I mean... Is it because she is young? ...if so, is it a typical teenager who loves to party's behaviour? Is it because she doesnt care? If so, how come there are a hundred and one other things that she does that contradict it...like calling me ever other hour to talk and tell me what she is doing, and really being hurt whenever she ever so slightely feels like i am neglecting her...even when i dont mean to. Being overly jealous. All of these things are what a notice, they are her actions. So its not like im being mislead. So what do you think are or is the reason or reasons to her behaviour.

Teenage girls are contradictory, there are no reasons to explain them



Anyway, if you are looking for a solution to that kind of behaviour


hand cuff her to the bed.

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Originally Posted by Freefalling [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

What id like to know know is... What is the cause of her behaviour?

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What difference does it make? The end result is the same, and it is intolerable. Don't look for excuses for her bad behavior; accept it for what it is.

I'm pretty sure Hitler had good days; he probably liked puppy dogs and kitty cats, and he appreciated the arts. Does that mean we should excuse his behavior?

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Originally Posted by Cbrider [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Not much scares me, but Ecstasy would be one of those things. I don't think people realize how dangerous it is. It might not harm your lungs or face, but it will steal your soul. It depletes and stops production of Serotonin, which controls anger, mood, appetite and other important functions.

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lol. you're naivety is so cute.

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Originally Posted by misombra [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

she doesn't want to be tied down. she wants to be free.

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LAND OF THE FREE.


People are always free.


What you meant was: she doesn't want him.

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Originally Posted by Freefalling [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I hear ya. And i really appreciate all your inputs on this. What id like to know know is... What is the cause of her behaviour? I mean... Is it because she is young? ...if so, is it a typical teenager who loves to party's behaviour? Is it because she doesnt care? If so, how come there are a hundred and one other things that she does that contradict it...like calling me ever other hour to talk and tell me what she is doing, and really being hurt whenever she ever so slightely feels like i am neglecting her...even when i dont mean to. Being overly jealous. All of these things are what a notice, they are her actions. So its not like im being mislead. So what do you think are or is the reason or reasons to her behaviour.

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Gosh.. are you still going on about her?

Dump her.. don't try to understand her.. she's immature, that says it all. She may grow up one day.. like 10, 15, 20 years from now...

Meanwhile, find yourself a nice loving girl that respects you.

So she runs off from a love moment to do a love drug?

Ditch her.

u spent 3 weeks not talking? 3 weeks and then expect her to spend every minute with u? you're only young once, don't waste your time looking for things that aren't there.

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Originally Posted by misombra [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

lol. you're naivety is so cute.

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I have no idea where that post came from....I don't even remember all of last night. Hangover now ~_~

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Originally Posted by Cbrider [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I have no idea where that post came from....I don't even remember all of last night. Hangover now ~_~

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oh man drunken posting.

anyway, have you ever known a person who abuses either/or crack/meth/heroine/rx narcotics?

I think what your girlfriend did was disrespectful and lacking of tact and self-control. Why not go to the party on a nights when the two of you have not chosen to spend time together? You're not being irrational by feeling annoyed.

I wouldn't be surprised if there were more moments like this to come in your relationship. The girl seems incredibly selfish (as many 18-year olds are).

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Originally Posted by misombra [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

i disagree. i think he should get her pregnant and propose marriage.

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This is clearly the best plan of action. Pregnancy only solves problems in relationship. Then the baby can do E too. Gosh wish my family had been that fun.

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Originally Posted by Freefalling [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Its not that i dont like her. Its that i didnt like what she did. I wanted to know if what she did was normal or not. I wanted to know if i was being irrational by being offended by what she did.

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It does not matter if it's normal. One thing you will learn soon is that normal is not the same thing for anyone. If it bothers you it bothers you. And I bet deep down in your gut, you don't think you're wrong. But it's still good to question yourself. Let me ask you this, had she invited you to go on an E splurge with her in the spirit of "togetherness" would you be gung-ho? How much of this that bothers you is about her doing E or her leaving you behind? I think if you really care about her, you should care more about the first rather than the latter. I've also never heard of starting the night at 4am, but what if she just wanted to go home at that hour? Or what if it was a more reasonable timeframe and she was off to do stuff with her friends?

Generally, few would say it's kosher to ditch your bf/gf to go hang with your friends, but it does happen. After a 3 week break though, she should at least dedicate a night to you.

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Originally Posted by Freefalling [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I hear ya. And i really appreciate all your inputs on this. What id like to know know is... What is the cause of her behaviour? I mean... Is it because she is young? ...if so, is it a typical teenager who loves to party's behaviour? Is it because she doesnt care? If so, how come there are a hundred and one other things that she does that contradict it...like calling me ever other hour to talk and tell me what she is doing, and really being hurt whenever she ever so slightely feels like i am neglecting her...even when i dont mean to. Being overly jealous. All of these things are what a notice, they are her actions. So its not like im being mislead. So what do you think are or is the reason or reasons to her behaviour.

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It doesn't matter what's causing it, only that it exists. She loves to party, and people who party are rarely material for serious relationships. I don't know if it's you, or if she were dating anyone else, she would probably still be this way. E gives her a rush that no relationship can. She is also selfish because if you neglect her, she gets upset, but she is clearly allowed to neglect you.

Not that I'm advocating drugs, but your choices are pretty clear to me: start joining in her lifestyle and doing the E with her so you can be together (and see how long that lasts) or you gotta move on. Did I hear you correctly that she goes to private parties? How do you know there aren't sexual things taking place there? Just something to consider, but this doesn't sound like a winning situation for you if you stay in it.

it doesn't matter whether it's right or wrong. People get treated as well as they allow themselves to be treated.

As I see it, your choices are to:

1. Suck it up, accept this aspect of her and that you're probably not going to be more than a background prop in her life.

2. Break up with her.

3. Sulk about her going out with her friends, complain she should be spending time with you at which point it's highly likely she'll find you pathetic and dump you.