Hi... stupid question

Hey all I am new here but I've spent the past hour reading.. really interesting stuff! I have a question for you guys.

Ok silly as it may seem I'm having a hard time decipher my friends behavior. I've known this guy for a short period of time, maybe a month and a half. We recently started hanging together, and for the past two weeks him, I, and another mutual friend of ours get together and bum around all weekend. Very harmless, very fun, engaging in stupid silly activities. When the two guys are together they tend to go around and beat up on each other which I am aware is a machismo thing. Anyhow...

The guy has recently started acting like I think he likes me.. but not sure, and I really don't want to read things wrong and jump into something thats not there. But since we've been hanging out pretty steadily lately, he has started texting me.. all the time. Sometimes I'll send him a text in the morning, or he will send me one, and throughout the day I'll get at least 80 texts from him. We generally joke around and be stupid, hardly have any serious conversation. Well one day we did have a semi serious conversation, and I noticed that after that he adjusted himself when he was around me- modified his behavior a bit. Its odd/interesting because its one of the first guys thats done that. To be clear, his behavior adjustment is a good thing because I have a bad back and as much as I like fooling around and running like a fool playing frisbee and etc, I physically can't engage in those activities. So I notice that when we are goofing off and I am making an effort to play around, he'll throw the frisbee lighter for me, offer me the more comfortable chair.. etc.

I know I've passed his 'muster' tests.. you know the type, the 'can i hang out with her or not' type, by sitting down and playing COD with them, goofing off at 4 in the morning at a wal mart, light saber wars.. generally the silly fun mindless games that are chaulked up to a bunch of guys goofing off, that normally girls don't lower themselves to.. (no offense girls I say this with my girl friends in mind).

I just can't tell anymore if he likes me or not. Everytime I see him he makes an effort to invite me to engage in a game, and if I decline and just sit by and watch (he likes playing hackeysack with his buds), during the breaks he will come and stand/sit by me, and even during play with his buddies he will shoot me looks and joke around.

Just confused.. I've had too many friends that I thought were 'just friends' that happened to want to be more, so now I guess I tend to over analyze everything. Fresh perspective on the subject would be greatly appreciated.

He definitely likes you!

I think he's not sure how you feel about him.

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Originally Posted by dazzled [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I just can't tell anymore if he likes me or not.

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It also depends on what way dazzled. For a serious relationship or for sex only? Or he is just being a good friend (as you suggested)?

I think its too early to tell right now. Although I suspect he "might" because texting someone 80 messages a day is abit much. Plus him noticing you more.

If he asks you out for coffee or something then its pretty much a green light.

@Henry- well he's a Christian.. but he is also a guy.. so I am 'assuming' that due to his belief system it'd lean more towards relationship, however I don't know him well enough to say, ya know? I hope I don't sound like a dweeb, I just have been in too many situations where I am completely oblivious to the situation, and I've gotten hurt in the past that way- also hurt people, as well. Just trying to be more careful- sometimes people are so confusing!

Why don't you just ask him?

Good question. I don't know him that well, and also I am admittedly awfully shy.. just need to muster up the courage, lol. I'm afraid of asking him and having read the situation totally wrong and come off looking like an idiot.

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Originally Posted by dazzled [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Good question. I don't know him that well, and also I am admittedly awfully shy.. just need to muster up the courage, lol. I'm afraid of asking him and having read the situation totally wrong and come off looking like an idiot.

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Be honest: aren't you more afraid of being rejected?

It's a catch 22. You can try to keep on reading minds, or you can ask.

Rejection is part of asking, it's also part of being honest with yourself.

He most probably likes you. But at the very least, he likes you a lot as a friend, and will be cool about it if you ask him how he feels.

Worst case scenario: He is not so interested, and it will be awkward for a few minutes, or even a day. Soon, your relationship be back on track, and then maybe he can introduce you to a friend who is like him.

Just be casual, and say that you are not very good at this, and maybe it is wishful thinking, but you kinda get the feeling that he likes you. Or better yet, just tell him that you like him. It's better than going crazy wondering for weeks, and maybe blowing your chance by making him think you don't feel the same.

Thanks for the information, guys. We actually met up last night at a church thing, and while he went and mingled with other people, he sought me out of the crowd and stood and talked for awhile- we also sat together. I had to go home early and he texted me making sure I made it home ok, lol. He is such a sweetheart. We are supposed to be getting together with some buds for the 4th, so I think I'll see how things go then before approaching him about anything.

yeah, I'd say you take some time with this one, and get to know him better.

who knows, he may pop the question before you if he likes you enough.

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Originally Posted by dazzled [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

@Henry- well he's a Christian.. but he is also a guy.. so I am 'assuming' that due to his belief system it'd lean more towards relationship, however I don't know him well enough to say, ya know? I hope I don't sound like a dweeb, I just have been in too many situations where I am completely oblivious to the situation, and I've gotten hurt in the past that way- also hurt people, as well. Just trying to be more careful- sometimes people are so confusing!

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You just have to wait and see. Eventually you will find out. Most likely he will make the first move. :)

Wait, you screw off at wal-mart, play sports and play COD?..... Hes foolish to not freakin propose by now lol you're a gem

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Originally Posted by boiler_r1 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Wait, you screw off at wal-mart, play sports and play COD?..... Hes foolish to not freakin propose by now lol you're a gem

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^ hehe thanks. Yeah. I found out this weekend I suck at playing Halo 3, however :awe:

Well we got together this weekend for the 4th and it was a blast. Had lots of chill time with him and his friends and his sister- pretty cool gang. Went to a local lake to watch the fireworks show, then went to his house to shoot off some of our own, followed by the silly caffiene induced madness that only happens at 3 am on a weekend.. ehehe.

Actually was over at his house yesterday too, his car broke down and I made an excuse to 'come and hang out' at his house and play some more COD, and then gave him a ride to his car so he could meet with the mechanic and have it fixed.

Was a pretty awesome weekend :)

So meh just an update. Over the past two weeks we've been hanging out each weekend pretty much all weekend. On the 4th we hung out like I mentioned before. He put a cooler in my trunk (we carpooled) and it ended up leaking all the heck over my stuff... including a bible I had gotten as a present earlier in the year. Poor guy felt awful since it was his cooler, despite me telling him it really wasn't a big deal. Well when we got together on Saturday with another friend he actually dragged me to a bookstore and bought me a new one. That really shocked me as it was a fairly expensive 'replacement' that I honestly did not expect, especially considering since his car broke down I was insisting he worry about that expensive first above anything else.

Anyhow, we hung out this weekend with a mutual friend of ours and some friends of his that I ended up driving home since they needed a ride. His friends kind of hinted around him being 'distracted' since we were playing a card game and he was sitting next to me and would turn and talk to me about something totally random, lol. When I was driving them home I tried to keep the talk very general and his friends kept talking about him needing someone good for him and how he deserves the best and all this... I just politely agreed the entire time. Kinda hard to judge these situations. I think his friends like me? I don't know its all much too soon to tell lol. It just doesn't help that our mutual friend is now dropping hints about him paying more attention to me then the mutual friend.

Don't worrie about his friends.. Friends come and go.

What you have or will have is between him and you, not between him, his friends and you... unless you're into that kind of stuff ;)

Well, I think he likes you and I think he told his friends that so they know too! I would be careful about being all "BUDS" with him, simply because you don't want to get stuck in the buds stage. Get out of that circle to be just two of you. But at the same time keep it light, joke a lot, and don't take things too seriously.

Thanks GoldenNickle :) I went out with him and a large group of people to the Harry Potter premiere the other night and it was lots of fun. Actually him and another mutual friend of ours had a minor meltdown during the day, and we all had to 'face' each other at the premier, which was interesting. It was a stupid misunderstanding that went into something completely the opposite of what it was supposed to be, but as a result has put him and the friend on rocky terms.

Actually this weekend we've arranged to hang out... with each other and no one else. That's a first as we normally hang out in some other stragglers. It should be interesting to see what comes of it. Actually had something funny happen at the premier- we all went to a 24 hour waffle joint after the movie to grab some 'breakfast' since it was 3 am. He chose to sit by me, as we were scattered throughout about 4 tables. Had some friends of mine sitting at the table behind me that pulled me aside after we were through eating and point out asked if we were a couple... I asked why and they couldn't give me a flat out explanation other then the fact of that we 'acted' like a couple. Considering all we were doing was sitting close to each other and talking I'm kind of confused as to why they would think that, but oh well...

I'm getting excited about the weekend now, however :)

Also wanted to add.. its his birthday on Sunday, is it too weird if I give him a present? I got a gift card to a store I know he likes, and a card (albeit a little lame but its really hard to find a card that doesn't have sentimental crap scribbled all over it!). Its nothing personal, but would that be ok and would it send the right message across?

Well, I would only give a card with something funny on it, so you can both laugh about it. Nothing sentimental. Gift card - its a bit too early and god knows, what if his fat aunt used to give him gift cards. Then there'll be an association. Be unassuming!

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Originally Posted by dazzled [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Also wanted to add.. its his birthday on Sunday, is it too weird if I give him a present? I got a gift card to a store I know he likes, and a card (albeit a little lame but its really hard to find a card that doesn't have sentimental crap scribbled all over it!). Its nothing personal, but would that be ok and would it send the right message across?

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Originally Posted by dazzled [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Also wanted to add.. its his birthday on Sunday, is it too weird if I give him a present? I got a gift card to a store I know he likes, and a card (albeit a little lame but its really hard to find a card that doesn't have sentimental crap scribbled all over it!). Its nothing personal, but would that be ok and would it send the right message across?

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I don't see why not. After all, you're at least friends, and friends do send eachother bday, xmass and so on cards.

Well the weekend was fantastic. Had to drag him out of the house early on Saturday so his younger sister could sneak in and decorate for the surprise birthday she was throwing for him. We had a bit of 'alone' time, walking around our town and goofing off. Then parted ways, I went to pick up some of his friends and drove to his house to kick off the party. He was pleased and after the night was over sent me a text thanking me for helping out and bringing his friends and for the card. I gave him a card and a gift card to his favorite store and he insisted that I didn't need to give him anything, but I brushed it off with a 'thats what friends are for' comment.

Then today after church we met up for lunch, and ended up hanging around town by ourselves again for 8 hours. Had lunch, walked around the mall, met some of his friends for dinner, ditched his friends (at his request) and ended up at a riverside park talking till dark. It was nice, and I was a bit surprised that he hung with me all day, considering today was his 'real' birthday.