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My girlfriend just has a tendacy to hide these things from me.
Now yesterday, I found out she had a box of pictures, love letters and cards from ex saved in her room, for 2 years...and the whole time we've been together.
The boxed as placed to the side of her TV and was never moved.
She told me she forgot was it in...but I can't even believe her anymore.
On my birthday, she danced slutty with me friend...acted the same way she acted on that Saturday night...I pushed her away and she had the nerve to ignore me that night.
Out of complete drunkenness, anger, depression, a girl who was flirting with me and who my GF HATED....wanted to smoke with me. I did a shotee(where you blow smoke into the other person's mouth). She allowed me to do it twice, knowing I had a GF. That was the first time I ever did my GF dirty...compared to all the times she did me dirty. and I told her 10 minutes after, and admited what I did...she hit in me the face, my body, cursed at me, stratched me...everything. I took it...but was 100% honest and truthful and she ended up forgiving me. I just felt like **** she couldn't be the same way...I really care about the relationship....****, its just so frustrating to be with someone who's not delicate with it and is just mad ****ing wreckless.
and to end this...
Why am I trapped?
I made a life time commitment to her.
My girlfriend is 6 weeks pregnant.
I don't want to be like my dad and be the typical Latino irresponsble dad and left the child.
I want to be the best father for my son/daughter and not let my insecurities or feelings get in the way.
My girlfriend has tried to comit suicide by overdosing on pills...she's not eating right, not exercising, and last night she punched her stomach.
I'm a personal trainer, so I'm really down to rockbottom...I feel no hope or strength right now.
I'm in an unhealthy relationship with an unhealthy person, and I'm tried.
I gave her so many chances and opportunities.
I tried to break up with her but she ran back to my apt and I accepted her back.
I don't know anymore.
Someone please help?
Okay...I got you now....
Do you have a short version of this? I don't feel like reading a novel.
Thank you, you been very helpful and informative.
You know what you need to do but for some reason you are putting your GF feelings before your own, I understand that you don't want to hurt her but you have to take care of yourself first, sometimes we have to be heartless to protect ourselves in this world.
It doesn't mean that you are a deadbeat dad if you are not together with the babies mother, you can still be a great dad. Your GF has problems and if I was you I would call your local mental health crisis team if you see her hurting herself again, actually I would give them a call anyway, the life of your baby depends on it, she needs help. BTW I didn't read all of your thread because it is too long, next time try to make shorter posts so more people will answer.
I feel like u got hooked up with a typical girl from like a college movie.
It's real sad to see cuz it can go down like this to a bunch of us in college.
Like the guy above said, worry about yourself, you can still be a good dad with out being committed to the girl. You can still be in a good position with out compromising yourself over and over to chicks like this.
uhh this girl is fcuking pathetic and so not worth your time.
I would tend to agree with Bo, but now your girlfirend is pregnant it makes everything so hard.
But who says you have to walk away completely, this woman does not sound correct in the head, punching her stomach? You can still be a dad, but not have to endure any of this psychotic behaviour....
if you stay with her, the baby will suffer.....you need to keep away from her for a while, is my genuine advice, this is a very volatile relationship, and the fact that you have baby on the way means you have to start thinking responsibly not just for you, but for your GF and your baby.
please keep us posted. good luck
This is going to be a long read, and if you're not interested, please GTFO.
Well its over.
and it just gets crazier and crazier.
I was suppose to sleep over Thursday night in Harlem...but she was acting oue of line and totally disrespecting me once again.
I decided to avoid conflict, and I took my bags and went home to the Bronx.
She got mad at me for "ditching" her or w/e.
We talked it out the next day...(Saturday)
she made promises to me.
I accepted it, like always.
She promised she would be @ my house at 7 PM
Cool.
I'm at the gym training a client until 6, head home at 7...shes not there.
I call 10 times...until 7:30...no luck.
I call 30 times until 8:00 no luck.
Then I start calling her friends, no luck.
I had no idea where she was...she wasn't picking up her phone.
I ran all over the Bronx and Manhattan...looking for possible destinations she could be at.
I was so concerned for her, I thought she was killed, kidnapped or something.
By 9 PM, I called 911 and file her as a missing person...but the cops didn't do shit.
By 10:30, I get a phone call from her...but it isn't her.
I hear a huge party in the background with people laughing and dancing.
Mad weird.
Thats when I started streaming...my concerns of her became doubts...and had the worst thoughts envision in my head.
What made it worse is that one of her friends lied for her to hide where she was.
I went to a party that night, looking for her once again, no look.
At 2 AM, I finally get a phonecall from her saying that she has been at the hospital all this time and had a miscarriage.
We lost the baby.
She was laying on my bed waiting for me, and I came to her to care for her...we slept painfully.
The next morning, I got her breakfast and talked about what happen last nite.
But what she said didn't add up.
She said a random girl from her job who she coincidentally met up with on the train took her to the hospital, left her there, took her purse/phone...went to a party? called me by mistake? and came back to pick her up "late".
A side of me told me to not take that...
So I told her, lets go to the hospital to get a doctors note, and ask why the did miscarriage happen.
All she did?
Google the causes of miscarriages and told me to be satisfied with that.
I was so mad at that.
That was our BABY...and shes acting so nonchalant about it.
She kept telling me that she didn't want to go to the hospital.
I felt like she was hiding something.
I couldn't deal it with her not listening to me and I lost my temper.
I kicked her out of my house, pushing her out the door and told her I don't deserve that treatment in my life. If you really love me, you would care to my concerns and doubts and go to the hospital to show nothing is hidden.
Couple hours later, I go to her house to pick up all my stuff I left.
Thats where things got ugly.
Big argument.
I lost my temper completely.
I broke two TV's and ripped all the drawers from her parents room.
What killed me was, she screamed louder and more passionately about her parent's materials and says I love you more passionately to her parents than ever with me. I felt I put on the second place pedestal...
She was slapping me in the face repeatingly, kneed me in the balls...and I just slapped her really hard and left the apt to the subway.
To make the end short, her friends who hate me came over and called the cops on me.
My GF didn't press any charges.
Now I gotta pay for all that has been broken.
We haven't talked since...her sister talked to my mom, but whatever.
We're officially broken up.
Where do I go from here?
My facebook status is: Its hard to keep your mind from loving when your heart still does, but I'm just glad it was once mines...on the real, I don't miss her...I just miss who I thought she was...time to continue running with my life, no looking back, no regrets.
I just want to be healthy mentally again...the abuse has been overloaded these pass couple of months...I feel passionless about life.
I wish you all the best Loco
Thank you, bumble.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bumble_bee [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Have a happy and healthy week.
You start taking care of yourself and give yourself time to heal from the abuse.Quote:
Originally Posted by LocoBX [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
You surround yourself with supportive friends and family.
If required, go counseling, even if it's just to talk about your experiences.
Don't look at this as a failure, but as a learning curve.
Chin up.
No contact man, it's done and over and the best for you is to find help in your support structure.
Those friends that care and are there for you are those ones you should surround yourself by.
Just one key thing I noticed, don't take to heart if at points someone will put their parents before you. They've been there for her all her life, you've only been there a little. Keep that in mind with the next one. Family love and Relationship love are two different types.
Good luck man, man up
Wow you really so deserve better as ygg said... give yourself time to heal and look forward as I'm sure there's better more exciting people and events laying in your path!
Good Luck and enjoy every moment, put yourself first for a change, make you your priority!
I think I'm done with it.
I'm just gonna focus on myself.
Do everything possible to better myself.
And try to find enjoyment out of that.
I try to get her to understand, give her a chances.
Nothing good comes out of it.
I guess perfect things can be spoiled and be killed.
I gave her a promise ring in December.
She has broken millions ever since...I told her to take the ring off and break promises without it...atleast dont taint that shit.
I just want to move on so BAD...I actually feel like I hate her.
When we were fighting, I broke two TV's in her house...
That wasn't the right thing to do but I was so done with everything.
I know I'm not a good person and I have anger problems, but some reason I felt like I didn't deserve that treatment from her.
I feel like she values a broken flat screen TV over my broken heart.
It sucks... because
If she came into my house and broke everything, I would just tell my mom I did it, and take the blame.
We're just different people with different natures.
I wouldn't put her to the humiliations and take a dive for her for anything like that.
It seems like she gets more satisfaction out of me paying back for her dad's tv than anything.
Her dad beats her, beat the **** out of her older sister who moved out and was homeless for 3 years and now lives in a ghetto on a flat mattress with a 3 year old daughter and an unemployment boyfriend. This dad provides no money to her or the child. The dad gives my ex no money for school, loans, bills...not a thing. He works at a factory and has a history of anger problems himself.
I hit my girlfriend once.
But today she told me
"You beat me all the time"
"My dad never beat me"
I just can't be with that.
Ever.
Before all this, I told her we could end the relationship in a more healthy way with a memorable romantic night we would never forget and she wold never regret...but she had to blew it.
I already know whats important to her.
Im done, guys.
So I want to move on.
I'm planning to get my certification in personal training, get done with this summer class, get all the ids/licenses I need...make a lot of money, new friends, reach my accolades, and start my senior year of college(going my bachelors). I plan to party a lot and just forget about this bitch completely. I hate that word too, so thats how serious it is.
Only problem her and I go to the same college.
Any suggestions?