I love her but she doesn't love me (She's my best friend)

Yes, it's me again with yet another quandry for advice in my personal life.
I got back a week ago from visiting my best friend Becky in Roselle, IL for two weeks. I learned a lot of stuff about myself that I hadn't realized before. Anyway I fell in love with her like I was afraid was going to happen. Just last night I told her how I feel. I told her I love her and that I just realized that it's been her from the begining, in my heart I believe that she and I are meant to be together. All the relationships I've been in since I've known her she said each time that she had a bad feeling about the other girl I was with at the time. I told her that now I believe that's because deep down in her heart she knows that it's meant to be her. After I said all of that she didn't say much of anything except that she was in shock.
She gave me a list of stuff that she thought I should change about myself and I looked it over and agreed with her on a lot of it. So in the past so many days I've been striving to change that stuff about myself and it's working wonderfully. All my family has been trying to get me to change this stuff about myself for many years and Becky suggests that I do and I do it immediately. There's something there that I've never known before. She said that if I changed myself for the better then she'd be with me if there are feelings for me there.
I really don't know what to do now, I'm afraid and scared. I don't really want to date someone else knowing I love Beca, but I'm not sure if that would be the best descision to make.
What should I do? Any advice will be greatly appriciated.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by whitedragon20na

if changed myself for the better then she'd be with me if there are feelings for me there

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If there are feelings? What kind of statement is that? If there are feelings, she should be feeling them now. Sounds like she knows you won't change your ways, so she says you guys can be together if you do X, knowing you won't do X (a.k.a carrot on a string). I'm betting you'll accomplish A, B & C and then she'll come up with D, E & F that you should do before you guys can be together.

Any chick that would lay crap on me that I have to do something before I even date them, well, I personally would tell her forget it. But that's me. :lol:

Well actually no it's not that. She said she had mixed feelings for me and wasn't sure about her feelings for me. She has feelings for me she's just not sure how strong. She said the problem was me attitude and how I acted towards her. And honestly I agree with her, I really was no fun to be around, always being upset over something, feeling bad about myself and never actually taking the time to enjoy life and enjoy the time I was there with her. I said it wrong in the first post, so I hope that clears it up for anyone who interpreted it the same way as you.

Well firstly giving you a list of things you need to chance about yourself is a very rude thing to do to someone. Should she simply suggest some things she felt you could IMPROVE on (not change about yourself) that'd be a lot better.

Either way it should NOT be a prerequisite for her being with you. If it's there it's there, if it's not it's not. If she's having mixed feelings then you bending to her will isn't going to help. It makes it look as though you're desperately seeking approval from her so she'll be with you. Confront her directly about these feelings and get a direct choice, but do not change. You are you, stay that way. Get a yes or no and move on to whichever you recieve.

if u have to change for her to be with u then u shouldn't realy follow it. she should like who u are. not for who she wants u to be. peple can't just change like that. and if so its realy hard.

The stuff she said I should change is actually quite reasonable. She just gave me a list of stuff that was negative about me and she was right. I was always negative, no fun to be around, boring, always feeling sorry for myself, never listening to others. That's the stuff she said I should change. It's not like she told me to change WHO I AM, just stuff about myself that's unappealing to anyone who knows me.

ok but changing something is changing who u r

Hey Whitedragon,
Just wanted to give you a little advice about the situation your going through. You need to go to and get yourself a copy of "How To Get Over That Bitch And Grow Balls They Can't Resist. This book will teach you how to get love, sex, and repect from any woman. Dude, your situation sounds like (one) of the (many) mstakes I've made throughout my whole relationship history. Until, I got "The Book." My friend, I swear to you, that this book will change your life like it changed mine. If there's one good thing you can do for yourself in your life, THIS IS IT. I wish you the best of luck in any decision that you make. ;) :lol:

Good Luck Bro,
Cmanwhore33

**** that shit.

Bro, don't drop $22 on some gigalo's book. If you want to read some good shit, I recommend the following two free books, and they're both solid:

[url=http://sucs.org/~nicholas/djb/wms.pdf]Weapons of Mass Seduction[/url]

and

[url=http://sucs.org/~nicholas/djb/djbc.pdf]The DJ Bible[/url]


I definitely recommend the DJ Bible, its a 6 week bootcamp designed to teach you how to get women with week-by-week exercises. I know a couple guys who've used it and they give it their thumbs up.

What Up? :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Fact is manwhore, paying for a book about testicular upkeep innately makes one a total loser. Also, why such pride in your nuts? They're very ugly things, odd that you'd be so in love with them.

Unlike yourself. I have opened my mind to something other than the fantasyland of D & D that you seem to be living in. If you take the time to do the research and find out about the book, you would then understand that it's about the " liberation of your manhood" that this book speaks of. Not being a slave to all the "Ball Snatching Women" in the world who's soul purpose it is to keep a man from being exactly what he is. " A MAN." But I guess you wouldn't know anything about that. Would you? Mr. Fantasyland D & D Man. ;)

Bro, I get more bitches than you, don't even try and stunt. Coming in here trying to pass off you $20 player-wannabe book, its garbage. Read what I linked to before you try and spit on it, since you clearly got no game.

Drak, you gotta understand something, getting girls is about having confidence and knowing how to act, for some people this comes natural, for others its acquired, but the knowledge is basic and you don't need to coat it up in a $20 book. Getting girls is about being a man and knowing girls ain't that special. Its really simple, contrary to cman who wants to rip you off for $20 to tell you what you could read for free.

No shit, I read the first part of the DJ thing and OMG. It's all true, it's all about confidence and knowing that you should not put the girl on the pedistal and place yourself there, because if you make them think they can do better, then they will. Thanks man, best thing I've read in years and a GREAT help.

No problem, I'm very glad to help you.

OH MY GOD!!! I heard about that How to get over that bitch book....I think it was in the maxim magazine.
Maxim gave them a pretty good review so i think ill check it out. I saw it in spencers gifts.... is it $20 there?

And if she doesnt like you....so what....1 down.....5.5 million to go....its her lss not yours

Hey Mv player send me a free book...i want to check your out as well

I'm not sure. But I saw it on amazon.com as well. These cat's seem to think that I'm trying to sell the book. Fact is, I've researched a multitude of relationship guides, and this one is the best one I've come across in a long time. So, my brothers, I got no beef with the stuff your selling. I was just giving a dude that needed help a little advice. This ain't no pissing contest.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by cmanwhore33

Unlike yourself. I have opened my mind to something other than the fantasyland of D & D that you seem to be living in. If you take the time to do the research and find out about the book, you would then understand that it's about the " liberation of your manhood" that this book speaks of. Not being a slave to all the "Ball Snatching Women" in the world who's soul purpose it is to keep a man from being exactly what he is. " A MAN." But I guess you wouldn't know anything about that. Would you? Mr. Fantasyland D & D Man. ;)

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Your random assumptions are proof that you are innately flawed as a person. If my vocabulary and speech bug you, the problem lies with you. I have never, nor do I plan to, play D&D. Tossing around random insults that are simple fallacies denote nothing but ignorance. Why should any of these people listen to the ramblings of a fool such as you?

Cman, its no problem. When I read the bit "How to get your balls back," I laughed and agreed, thats the problem with most guys, they need their nads. But you don't need to drop $20 on a book to figure that out, and for the record, Maxim has rated over 50 books as "must buys," its how they get their revenue cause these guys then buy ads with them. Thats not to say the book is wrong, it could be a good book, but Maxim doesn't mean too much. Either way, I aint trying to sell anything. I know of two free books, one written by a guy named Sr Fingers, a true player for real, and the other is the DJ (Don Juan) Bible, its a book about getting your balls back and playing girls thats been corrected and rewritten for 10 years by a community of self-styled DJ's, its just a way to romanticize we're players, but you get the picture. Either way, they're both free, and I recommend these to people.

[url=http://sucs.org/~nicholas/djb/wms.pdf]Weapons of Mass Seduction[/url]
by Mr. Fingers

[url=http://sucs.org/~nicholas/djb/djbc.pdf]The DJ Bible[/url]
by the DJ community

MVPlaya,
I'll have to check those out. Thanks. And Zekk T I appologize for the D & D remark. That was my bad. But, you did not have to call me a fool. Like I stated earlier, I was just trying to give a man with a dilema some advice about a problem he needed help with. The more choices he has, the better. Don't you agree? I don't believe that any of us are right or wrong. Just that we have different outlooks and opinions on the subject of relationships. Anyway, it was my pleasure to have had the opportunity to chat with you gentlemen. Good Luck My Friends.

Cmanwhore33

Had you presented it in a less hostile way I wouldn't have assaulted your intelligence. It was just a quick judgement and portrayed in a less than civil way. I do agree that there are many choices when coming to resolve an issue. You're free to express your opinions. However putting up a link for a book for sale I can't allow. It's not my rule, it's the administrators rule. I'm fine with leaving MVP's up because they're free articles to read but I can't allow a link to a page intended to sell a book, it's considered advertising.

Not a problem my friend. I understand. I do appologize. I did not know. Thank you very much for letting me express my opinion and help a fellow brother in need on your website. I enjoyed the conversations, and exchange of ideas and viewpoints. I would like to drop in every once in a while to say hello. If that would be okay? Again, Thank You Gentlemen. MVPlaya, Zekk T Strife, Take Care.

Cmanwhore33

Yo C,

You're welcome to criticize the young ones here when you see them ****ing up. I'm always down for somebody else to help out here.

Your always welcome to come around and express opinion and advice.

The only person that you should change yourself for is you. If changing improves the quality of your life, then do it. That is the ONLY way it is still you.