Do men separate between "just friends" and "more than friends"?

According to the "Ladder theory" (you can google it if you want to read the whole theory) men don't separate between "friends" and "more than friends"/"possible sexual partners" when it comes to women. Whereas women instantly decide whether or not a guy is "just a friend" or "more than friend" and once she has made up her mind it is very difficult for the guy to jump from the friends ladder to the more-than-friends-ladder.

Which would explain why it seems to be more difficult for a man to be "just friends" with a woman then it is for a woman to be "just friends" with a man (because men don't separate between different friends and 'more than friends').


Is there truth behind this?

Definitely.

Every woman is a potential sex partner until determined otherwise.

Initially meeting some of my female friends I would've totally banged them. As I got to know some of them, and developed a mutual respect, I no longer looked upon them with lusty eyes.

Hell I have one where she'll walk around half naked, or come out of the shower in a skimpy towel, and she's pretty girl. But it honestly doesn't bother me in the slightest. Then again, she was never really my "type" to begin with.

So basically you've fantasized about every female friend of yours. Even the unattractive ones? That's what the theory says. Kinda, that a man wouldn't even be friends with a woman in the first place unless she was sorta attractive. Whereas women tend to separate between unattractive guys=friends. and attractive guys=more than friends.

I have female friends I wouldn't bang.

honestly for all of men i've been friends with i have thought about sex with them. but i can be friends with them so i don't think having done that makes it in any way more difficult for men than women. we're all animals.

OK, sex is one thing, but what about a romantic relationship. I'm wondering if it's easier for a guy to get stuck in the "friend zone" than it is for women to get stuck in a guy's "friend zone". That's the impression I get. That guys don't really have a "friend zone", kinda like, all their female friends are possible lovers.

I know it's to generalize, but Im wondering if theres any truth to this

I'd say so.

Unless they're ugly, or total cunts from the get-go.

Then again, even if I had a bitch of a boss that was even mildly attractive I'd probably thinking about tying her up and ass raping her.

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Originally Posted by ellie [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

OK, sex is one thing, but what about a romantic relationship. I'm wondering if it's easier for a guy to get stuck in the "friend zone" than it is for women to get stuck in a guy's "friend zone". That's the impression I get. That guys don't really have a "friend zone", kinda like, all their female friends are possible lovers.

I know it's to generalize, but Im wondering if theres any truth to this

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I think guy's have a friend zone where all the girls that they don't find attractive end up.

Even if they find a girl attractive and vice versa she may stay in that zone indefinitely due to other circumstances such as her being married or in LTR.

But all guys are different, don't take it as a rule.

There is a guy I was attracted to from the start, and then realized he was in a relationship. I held on hope for a little while that he might break up with her. They had been on and off for some odd years, he never talks about her, now they live together and seem comfortable but also not really going anywhere. It's been long enough that they should be married, but aren't.

But I liked him, and he made me laugh so I thought maybe.

Now, I've fallen out of attraction to him on a romantic level, but that almost makes me more just primally attracted to him. Like now, I just want to **** him so I don't give a shit if it goes anywhere. Not planning on home-wrecking, but just saying on a fantasy based level. Before I fantasized, but it was more about being with him.

I find that sexual charge occurs instantaneously. It's either there or it's not, but it can be lost. Usually only after you have had sex to get the tension out though. That's if it's just sex though.

I think the "I wouldn't bang her" thing is dependent upon sobriety. I've seen it happen.

I'd probably sleep with any of my single female friends if the circumstances were right. If I like you enough to be friends, I like you enough to put my penis in you.

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Originally Posted by Chupacabras [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I'd probably sleep with any of my single female friends if the circumstances were right. If I like you enough to be friends, I like you enough to put my penis in you.

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See. That is what I'm talking about :smug:

@chupacabras
LOL

@ topic

I think it ALL depends on the person and the situation.

Im person who has pretty female friends and ugly ones, it doesnt matter if they are pretty or not to be my friend. Whats important is that the person is nice and gives u support when u need doesnt need to be pretty to do that.

I dont know if ur talkin about the sexual way, if u are then yeah i can tell you that 100% of man think of a friend as a possible sexual partner (just sex). When we are down and got dumped by GF if any of our friends shows interest in having sex, WE WILL F#@%# EM !!!

If ur not talkin in the sexual way, then its lot easier for a man to get interested in a friend than in another woman, cos they are pretty similar in lot of ways and share some feelings.

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Originally Posted by LonelyEngineer [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

If ur not talkin in the sexual way, then its lot easier for a man to get interested in a friend than in another woman, cos they are pretty similar in lot of ways and share some feelings.

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Yeah that's what I meant. I mean, yeah, you can fantasize about having sex with basically anyone, I think that's pretty normal. Us women do that too. =)

But yeah, coz it kinda seems common for guys to become interested in/develop feelings for their female friends. Well, girls fall for their guy friends too, but it seems to be more common for girls to have some male friends that they would absolutely NOT consider as being more than friends (rather than the other way around).


But of course, it depends on the person

Ok, here's how it works.

Every guy has a minimum standard for beauty. So long as a girl meets that minimum standard, he will want to do her.

There are exceptions to this rule. But one of the biggest ones would be that a guy might not wanna do a girl if there were hotter girls that were willing to do him.

Moving on to the relationships and friend zone question, keep in mind that with guys, it's all about looks (sorry that's the ugly truth - but, hey - looks are subjective so don't worry). If you don't meet a guy's minimum standard of beauty, your chances with him are almost 0%. So when you meet a guy for the first time, 1 of 3 things can happen:

1. You meet his standards (you just won 70% of the battle right there)
2. You don't meet his standards (you're wasting your time)
3. You're borderline (taking good care of yourself, a little makeup, and good fashion sense might bring you to possibility 1)

So guys do have a ladder but it's split into 3 parts. Now as long as you have a decent personality and don't possess some weird character flaw that he dislikes, you're in the game.

Additionally, if he's attracted to your personality, intelligence, sense of humor, etc., it will actually raise your physical beauty in his eyes. That's right, having a nice personality, makes you physically look more beautiful to him. In the end, it's mostly all about looks.

Sorry, we're shallow. Or at least I am. Who's with me?

*Crickets chirp *Tumbleweed rolls by *Old man coughs in background

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Originally Posted by Frasbee [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Hell I have one where she'll walk around half naked, or come out of the shower in a skimpy towel, and she's pretty girl. But it honestly doesn't bother me in the slightest. Then again, she was never really my "type" to begin with.

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Interesting.

If you were both single and she was interested in initiating a 'friends with benefits' relationship with you until one of you finds a bf/gf, would you take her up on that offer? It would be sex with no strings attached and just a secret between you 2.

I have a question then. Why is that sometimes, I meet a guy and I'm almost 100% sure I meet his standards, yet he doesn't seem interested.
I'm pretty (well at least that's what people tell me), I have a very laidback good sense of humour, I'm very smart, outgoing and easygoing. And a lot of guys wanna be my friend, but not more than that.

They just all put me in the friend zone.

But I wonder, if you enter a guy's friend zone, does it increase or decrease my chances with him?

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Originally Posted by Sanctuary [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Interesting.

If you were both single and she was interested in initiating a 'friends with benefits' relationship with you until one of you finds a bf/gf, would you take her up on that offer? It would be sex with no strings attached and just a secret between you 2.

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Dont answer that Fras...it's a trap! Your gf's on LF now!

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Originally Posted by ellie [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I have a question then. Why is that sometimes, I meet a guy and I'm almost 100% sure I meet his standards, yet he doesn't seem interested.
I'm pretty (well at least that's what people tell me), I have a very laidback good sense of humour, I'm very smart, outgoing and easygoing. And a lot of guys wanna be my friend, but not more than that.

They just all put me in the friend zone.

But I wonder, if you enter a guy's friend zone, does it increase or decrease my chances with him?

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Hmm, that's a tough one but it's probably: You meet his standards but there's another girl that already caught his eye. So long as that girl keeps him interested, you don't really have a chance.

There's no such thing as a friend zone. If you're single/pretty enough AND the guy is looking for a relationship AND they think they have a chance with you AND there's no other girl in the way, I don't see what the problem is. Maybe I'm missing something.

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Originally Posted by LadieNisha4u2nv [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Dont answer that Fras...it's a trap! Your gf's on LF now!

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LOL I didn't mean to cause any trouble.

In that case, Fras probably doesn't feel anything for the friend girl cuz he's so deeply in love with his girlfriend.

psst Fras, you can tell me the truth through private message. No one will know.

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Originally Posted by Sanctuary [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

There's no such thing as a friend zone.

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You don't have a friend zone?? There must be some girls you think of as "just friends & will never be more than friends"?? Oh I get it, you only put the ugly girls in that box! lol

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Originally Posted by ellie [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You don't have a friend zone?? There must be some girls you think of as "just friends & will never be more than friends"?? Oh I get it, you only put the ugly girls in that box! lol

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bingo. lol!

but keep in mind that looks are very subjective and guys have broad tastes.

personally i don't think a girl can be ugly as long as she takes decent care of herself.

unless she's really fat, but then you'll still have the 1% of the male population that are into fat girls.

i just opened the door for a lot of hate mail with that comment didnt i? sorry, the truth hurts.

ouch! stop throwing cactuses at me! i said i was sorry!

the plural of cactus is actually cactii

LOL you're too funny Sanctuary.

Think I need more of your opinions to my questions lol

Definitely there is truth to this. I have NO male friends, in that I have no guys who don't want to be just friends with me for some strange reason. And the "nice" personality statement made by Sanctuary is only applicable sometimes, as guys are mostly shallow as he also stated.