The Cold Shoulder

Today my BFF decided he would invite some of our friends over to the house. I've been really down and depressed so they came over and surprised me with things I like to help cheer me up. One of the friends he invited over is someone I haven't talked to in a long time because his fiancee thought he was too close to me. (His twin sister was a good friend of mine, and was into gang-violence passed away in 2000 in Chicago.) Ever since then we had been close but nothing ever sparked between us. Today he bought me this huge Beatles Poster, a book about the Beatles, other Beatles stuff and a bag of Jolly Ranchers. I lit up like a Christmas tree and thanked him with a hug and such. He was so distant though. He sat and didn't say much and every time I tried to talk to him... he would say a few words then look the other way. When he was about to leave he winked and said read my letter.

I read this letter and he talked about how much he missed me and hanging out with me, blah blah blah he couldn't wait until he saw me. I don't get it? He had me right there!! Wouldn't say a word and was being sort of mean. My BFF said that he was probably trying not to get too close again... because of his woman... and some of my girl friends were like, "u know he has always had a thing for you..." but even if he did... what would make a guy give you the cold shoulder like that.

Maybe he was scared it might get out of control and he wouldn't be able to control himself? He has a fiancee watching his back so he's probably trying to be on his best behavior.

He's married to her now. You would think she would be over it by now. I wasn't even invited but everyone else was. Why would he buy me gifts and ignore me?

BTW I haven't seen him in a year or more. I was so excited to see him. Should I give him the gifts back?

How da hell did you go from cali to washington wasteland?

Doppel I've been in Washington DC for a long time. I was only in California for a year. I was back and forth there... i still had my place in DC before and while I was there. I had to be out there a lot because of my job. Besides... I hate California.

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Originally Posted by CocoChanel [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

He's married to her now.

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Well that's unfortunate.

Maybe the leash he is on has a long reach.

Don't blame him, attraction is a powerful thing, and he was just trying to keep himself in check.

It's been a while since he's seen you, so it's not like you guys see each other frequently where he's managed to get reasonably comfortable talkin' to you.

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Originally Posted by Frasbee [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Don't blame him, attraction is a powerful thing, and he was just trying to keep himself in check.

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When I get to the point where I am married or at least in a committed relationship and have to physically restrain myself in order to stay faithful, shoot me.

Coco, if my husband bought a bunch of presents for someone I felt threatened by in the past and gave her a letter saying how much he missed her I'd go ballistic.

Watch yourself. Really.

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Originally Posted by Cbrider [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

When I get to the point where I am married or at least in a committed relationship and have to physically restrain myself in order to stay faithful, shoot me.

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We all cope differently.

I see what you are saying Frasbee. But why even write a dumb letter then completely ignore me the whole time you're in MY HOUSE. He talked to everyone else but me.

So here is what I find out today. My BFF texted him when he was at work and asked what was up with me and him on Sunday afternoon. He texted my BFF back and said exactly this

His Text: i guess im still mad. she wasnt a real friend"
MY BFF text says: how did she do that?
His Text: she stopped talkin to me cuz of megan.
MY BFF: i thought u cut it off man
His Text: yea but she kno wat i been goin thru. i felt bad for her becuz of the shit she jus went thru so i came to show her my support.
MY BFF: oh dam dude
His Text (like an hour later): yea wen i saw her i guess i got mad all over again so i dissed her.

Okay so my bff forwarded this to me and thats when I read it all. Now I really want to give him his shit back.

Your friends are a bit too involved in this, if you ask me.

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Originally Posted by Gigabitch [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Coco, if my husband bought a bunch of presents for someone I felt threatened by in the past and gave her a letter saying how much he missed her I'd go ballistic.

Watch yourself. Really.

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Yeah I know what you mean but it was never like that between us... well I know on my end it wasn't. I was the one who hooked them up back in high school! She used to be cool with me until she saw how close we got when his sister passed away.

drama.
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So true. I want to give it back to him but... I can't just give it back to him cuz then it will start stuff with his woman right? I should just tell my BFF not to invite him over to anything else again? Or should I talk to him because now he is blaming me for shit I didnt even do.

Why would you talk to him ever again?

I meant... should I not talk to him ever again.... i dont know what to do thats why I'm asking for advice.

I see him as nothing but trouble. I think you should give the presents to your BFF to give back to him and pass on the message that he should respect his marriage. What the hell is he trying to drag you into, anyway?

Whether you decide to keep the shit or not, I definitely recommend avoiding all contact.

don't think about it, enjoy the presents and fck the drama girl. whaddya want? trouble? as my father always says: don't court trouble, run a million miles away from it

Good idea guys. Thanks. I usually mess up with the wrong decisions with things like this. I'm definitely going to avoid all contact. Good point... after almost a year of not talking or being around me you start this crap up? Blah... so annoying.