I dont drink, so i dont know. I need YOUR opinions

Alrite so i've never drank before.
Situation was, that me and my girl went on a break. She isnt a drinker either, but she did drink this one time. She went to a party, and she was grinding with another guy. Not just normal dancing, GRINDING, in a way she should NOT be doing it.
She told me about it right away, and I saw the pics, FLIPPED out , and i left her.
She swears its the most think she regrets doing in her life. How she herself feels low, and feels like a whore. She says she'l do ANYTHING to get back to me. I do love her, and I do want to get back with her, i'm just not sure if I can trust her/ forgive her. She said she's aware that i wont ever forgive her on it, but she wants me to give "us" another try. She wants to show me that this was a turning point to her, and that she's going to change, etc etc.
Her friend even called me up and was explaining how her starting uni, and how her friends influenced her was a big factor to all this, and how she does really love me and what not.
Could she have REALLY not been aware when she was doing it at the time?
I dont know if she's really sorry =/ I've been with her for over 2 years, and i NEVER thought she could do such a thing...
Opinonsss guys. & thank you :)

Okay so she did this while you guys were together? Look man, I would be pretty pissed if my misses was grinding with another guy at a party, and I would probably flip, but do you feel it's worth throwing over 2 years of a relationship away because of it? If you love her like you say you do than you might want to think of giving it another try and be honest with her about how you feel and set boundaries when it comes to partying etc?

We were on a break. We talked about it though and said that we would be loyal. It was 3 days into the break, and this happened.
I do love her, and I do WANT to let it go. Just dont know if i can. I dont know if i can trust her, I dont even believe she wasnt aware of it at the time because of drinking.
Let's not forget that i'm also doing long distance.
But yes, maybe it isnt worth throwing away a 2 year relationship.
I wont NOT let her party, but she swore she wouldnt go to a single party unless i'm ready to let her, even if it means ever..

Alcohol doesn't make you unconscious of your actions unless maybe you are absolutely shit-faced-about-to-pass-out, drunk.

She's new to college?

New friends?

She decided to go out and live a little.

Pretty typical behavior for her age, though no good for sustaining a long term relationship. She needs to figure out if this is what she really wants right now, despite feeling like shit for it.

Ahh long distance ayy? Been there done that so I know how you may be feeling. Trust is a major factor here and it is always tripled due to the long distance, but I wouldn't say she didn't know what she was doing cause she was drinking. However, she see's she made a mistake and as long as she learnt from it and you can see she has, then move forward mate. Pull through it and it will be worth it in the long run. Just to add, she wasn't doing anything as serious as screwing the guy so I think your safe :)

Oh, it's long distance??

Nevermind this has no chance.

Don't count it out Fras, I pulled through it :)

I did put it down to her like that Fras. She told me that what she did was NOT her, its not something she would do. She says she'll do whatever i ask, and she said she chooses me, that she doesnt want anything else..

Thanks Ransom. I'll try to pull through it..
Honestly though, by the sounds of what I say, does it really seem like she IS regretting it?
Glad to hear you pulled through it btw :) Grats!

Well if she is saying it's the biggest thing she regrets in her life thus far and she feels low etc than yeahh I guess she seems like she is regretting it, you know her better than us though so if you don't think she truly is than there's your answer right?

Cheers man, everyone puts down LDR's, I seek to change this perception haha.

bit of grinding never did no harm.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by worthles [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Could she have REALLY not been aware when she was doing it at the time?

---

Yes. And this is not unusual behavior for college-age parties.

you're over reacting, she fessed up immediately and is now begging you to take her back and promising to be the GF you want, by never ever ever going out unless you say so....urgh....

In vino veritas. It WAS her, and for God's sake, you were on a break. Be reasonable.

Cut her some slack, Have you ever wanted to just once do something so wild and you wouldn't let yourself do it? If thats the worse thing she ever does to you then you have it made !!!
I think you two will be fine.

Did she say "Oh my drunk, I am not God!"

??

Dunno, I'd be pissed but more that someone was stupid enough to get themselves in that situation. The grinding itself is pretty harmless, like CB says, but she's lucky she didn't end up worse. Its a pretty fine line b/t losing one's inhibitions enough to do that stuff and passing out. Unless 'drunk' was just an excuse to behave that way & she knew exactly what she was doing. Which is actually worse b/c it makes her manipulative also.

The fact that she confessed immediately makes me think that she truly is sorry, and, more than that, wants to stay with you. Especially in a long distance relationship, it's very easy to hide things.

Personally, I would put more emphasis on that, that she is so honest, even with tough situations, than what she did when she was drunk.

Judgment is the very first thing to go, when you drink.

I personally would be forgiving of her. This doesn't sound like a game she's playing, and she does seem completely sorry for her actions. What more can you ask for?

Hmmm, is this the gal with the facebook pics? Knowing you're about to be busted b/c your grinding ass is about to be plastered all over the internet isn't the same as a willing, guilt-driven confession.

FWIW.

The girl in the Facebook pictures may not be the girl you thought you knew, but it is who that girl actually is.

The only change she is likely to make in her behavior is to insure that there are no cameras trained on her when she cheats on you next time.

Thanks everyone for the replies
Thing is, i would have NEVER known either way. Nobody can see her tagged pictures , except for herself, and she could have made her friend take off the pics aswell..
I dont know. Its all too confusing for me
27 Months, and she does this.
Not even sure if i should give her a chance to prove to me she can make it right.
I'm a jelous / paranoid guy as it is
Anyways. Thank you everybody :)

I don't get it... what the hell is this "faithful" break?! A break is a euphemism for break up! As temporary as it might be, and as inappropriate as getting straight back into the singles scene seems, she didn't do anything unfaithful. I don't know why people don't just call these "breaks" something like... a span of time during which we aren't going to speak but we're still technically dating. A cooling off period, something like that! Fawk...

Actually... I don't belive in 'breaks'... If You're in happy relationship even LDR why do breaks? What for? You break up or not. And if You break up it's for a reason.If there are problems then whether You fix them or end the relationship.Especially LDR , cause it's already difficult for what it is.

This is WAYYYYYY too much drama and complication for a relationship at this age.

Alcohol does weird things to both body and mind. Its no excuse though, if you drink you need to be accountable for your actions and be able to exercise self control. We hold people accountable in society for DUI's, relationships should be held to the same accountability.

If you can't handle it, don't mess with it. If you can't handle it, but refuse to leave it alone, have a prepuking course of action.

Forgive her. She's sorry and is probably crying over it every night. (trust me. It's a girl thing) Or you can not forgive her, be known as a jerk to all of her friends since shes probably going to be either crying by herself or to them for a while and probably be known as a jerk to other people too. I'm just sayin.

If you love her you should forgive her. Alcohol intoxicates the brain and makes us do things we normally wouldnt do. Oh for gods sake. Just forgive her. If you did that and couldnt remember any of it and then saw pictures of it on the net and suddenly have your girl be all crying and not talking to you over it you would want her to forgive you right? think about that before you go around being all like "she wouldnt do this... why did she do this?"

Sorry for being snappy though. in a bad mood. and its hard not to snap when you yourself know what you want to do but you are hesitating so much. Forgive and forget. past is past. and shes sorry about it. what more would you want.

I call BS. I manage to get all kinds of ****ed up without becoming unfaithful. I think you should dump her so she learns a valuable lesson.

I vote give her a second chance. I don't know how how much more graphic "GRINDING", sure she wasn't suppose to... but she knows she was wrong and up front told you about it. When you drink you do lose your inhibbitions and you do stupid shit you normally shouldn't. You shouldn't ban her from going out with her friends altogether... in fact I am just questioning how much more graphic GRINDING can be besides just grinding. My gf goes out with friends to clubs, and I am sure when I am not there theres prob guys grinding off of her. But at the night, shes sleeping with me. :/

I wouldn't say that alcohol is a truth serum, but people often say or do things when they are drunk because their inhibitions are lowered. They might not say or do those things when sober, but they would like to do those things. Aside from puking, I don't think alcohol has the ability to make people do something they don't want to do.

Yeah drinking makes you do stupid things, grinding is pretty timid given what could have transpired. And- you were on a break so she was piss drunk and pissed off.