GF does not wana have complete sex

Okay this is a unusual problem i think, but after 5 years my girlfriend does not want to have sex with me. We like have oral sex with each other almost since the begining and i finger her alot and she let me have "head only" sex with her. Meaning I am only alowed to put my penis head in her and no further. This is really frustrating! I talk to her alot about this and she just say she wants to wait till she are married. But in my eyes she aint no virgin anymore... What am i doing wrong??? Sometimes it seems as if she is letting go and the moment I try to go all the way she will turn and shuts off completely. Any help please

Tell her this:

She ain't no virgin! Penis in vagina means she ain't a virgin. All the way, half way, just the head doesn't matter she already had her cherry popped.

What she is doing is the most pathetic attempt at trying to keep herself "pure" for marriage.

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Originally Posted by jfb4eva [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I talk to her alot about this and she just say she wants to wait till she are married.

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That sounds like a pretty lame excuse, considering she's not a virgin and you've done heaps of times already. I'd ask her what is the REAL problem.

Is she on contraceptives? It could be that she's scared.

oooooohhh! blue-balls supreme! :P

I agree with girl68, that's a pretty piss-poor way to go about keeping herself for marriage. I guess I can respect that sort of thing if someone's for real about it, but after doing all that other stuff (head, etc.) - if you're doing it right - sex is basically a given because you guys should be horned up and all over each other.

I have asked her like many times if it is only thats she scared or is she just not ready to go all the way I even told her thats she aint no virgin anymore then she only gets mad and says she is one! I really really tried everything, I read books, I bought toys, dvds but nothing is pushing her over the edge to give herself completly to me! I dont know if it is something else that is holding her back, but this are really a problem for me now. To talk to her about this does not help at all, it make everything worse because she just gets mad and tells me she do everything in her power to keep me sexually happy and she cant give more that she is already doing. I even threaten to leave her about this and she just says if I cant wait I am not the one. I am really frustrated about this, I really loves this girl and really wanted her to be my first. By the way we are both 21 years old, we are together since 16. I once tought it was that she wants to force me to marry her, but when we talked about marrige she said she will only get married after her studies and when we both have very good jobs ect. And her studies there is 2years left so it cant be that. I really dont know anymore.:upset:

I now again talked to her about it, and she just said sorry she cant i must accept it or I must go

well, if nothing else she's being honest and letting you know where you stand. I guess you have to decide if screwing is more important than her.

I feel for you though, because I think you have a valid point. good luck.

She can claim she's a virgin all she likes and she can throw a child like tantrum when you tell her she isn't. But the fact remains, she's had a penis in her vagina and therefore is not a virgin, and congratulations neither are you!

It's time for you to dig deep and find out what you really want. And it isn't weird or unreasonable to want to leave to find a girl you can actually screw and not feel bad about it.

But I actually loves this girl and she means the world to me! Any anvice to turn off my libido???

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Originally Posted by jfb4eva [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

But I actually loves this girl and she means the world to me! Any anvice to turn off my libido???

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hmm...thats a tough one! umm...what about anal?:P

I just wish I could swallow a pil and not think about sex anymore

Sad that your gf makes you feel like you have to supress an urge so common, so enjoyable, and so normal. Very sad.

yea this is a wicked scenario indeed!

Actually LR gave you very good advice. Many cultures have done this to preserve virginity for marriage.

What viginity... :surprised
I rather use my hand as to anal thanks. :P
And she is a bit of a "uptight" girl to try any weird stuff

she might as well just go through with it...
i used to be the same way with my first boyfriend.. we did everything but actual sex. we eventually did.. just because we basically did it already so i didn't really see the point in waiting any longer. this was 8 months into our relationship tho. i wish i didn't let it go that far... since i was originally planning on waiting till marriage. doing it with him made me decide i already screwed it up so i might as well do it with other guys as well. (NOT sleeping around... i mean other bfs)

I dunno...my first thoughts are that you are at the prime of your life and you should be exploring yourself and sexuality and it's part of personal development.
If she absolutely refuses and you need sex to be happy then maybe you guys just, aren't together at the right time in your life right now.
At the same time, you seem to respect her wishes and want to make it work, which is great, I'm glad to see you have someone you're willing to sacrifice so much for, but it all boils down to whether or not you are happy with the relationship.
And yes, she is in denial about her virginity.

It's definately hard at that age, but you'll have to decide if you truly want to marry her and spend the rest of your life with her, or if you need more than what she can give you.

At this age, it's hard to say what will happen within the next 5 years.. so many different things change at that point in your life.

5 years is a bit much. But you have to respect her wishes. Talk to her about it. In my eyes there is negligable difference between "head only" and sex itself. Besides, once you've done oral on each other, it's not a big step up to the real thing - more a mental threshold than reality.

Ok, I have a strange story, but very true. Back when I young, I did not want intercourse before Marraige, so we only did heavy petting --and for 8 yrs before marraige, I was 15- he was 18 , married 8 yrs later. Yes, I was too religious back then, why I was waiting. (I am no longer religious 20 yrs later) I seen a post on here saying if you have the head IN that you are no longer a virgin. Well not sure what God considers a virgin, but I know my Cherry was NOT popped & was NOT easy to pop! No head going in a few times or lighty would have EVER worked for me. Yes, we waited till marraige, and literally I did not see how it was going to "FIT". (ANd he was average 6 inches) , it hurt terribly, after 3 months I went to the OBGYN, he was going to give me a "Hymenectomy" but decided to test me for pregnancy and shockingly enough, I was pregnant! So no surgery. Literally it took another 5 months before he got it IN and I felt it was IN all the way. So 8 months into my marraige is when my husband was fully able to penetrate me. Strange but true. Husband was more gentle than most men probably are though, plus i was pregnant so he did not force much. Am I sorry I waited to have Real sex all the way. I am not sure. We have a great marraige and it is special that we can claim we waited for this --but it brought alot of worry also -why it was so hard to get it. Our honeymoon surely could have been better if that was out of the way! I know if I was not as religious as I was back then, there is NO way I would have waited.

if you're serious about her then just marry her and get it over with

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Originally Posted by jfb4eva [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Okay this is a unusual problem i think, but after 5 years my girlfriend does not want to have sex with me. We like have oral sex with each other almost since the begining and i finger her alot and she let me have "head only" sex with her. Meaning I am only alowed to put my penis head in her and no further.

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Hahahahhahahahaaaa

oh my god that is the funniest thing I have heard in, shit, weeks, maybe months

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Originally Posted by jfb4eva [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Meaning I am only alowed to put my penis head in her and no further. This is really frustrating! I talk to her alot about this and she just say she wants to wait till she are married.

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WTF lol ............

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Originally Posted by skratchmo [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

if you're serious about her then just marry her and get it over with

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What are you stupid? If you are giving advice to your good friend and you know the woman he is with is a completely idiot you advise him to marry her?

If she won't have sex with you she is selfish and also useless to you. Keep getting whatever types of sex you can while you look for someone else. Then dump her and tell her the reason why. Do this only after discussion with her regarding how important sex is to the relationship. Maybe say it is important for bonding or something.. I don't know.

no, dont do that

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Originally Posted by qwerty123 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

no, dont do that

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5 years... no sex... I can't imagine how horrible it would be to be married to such a selfish woman. Dump her this will only lead to heartache for you down the track. Selfish people are always selfish.

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Originally Posted by BoredGeorge [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

5 years... no sex... I can't imagine how horrible it would be to be married to such a selfish woman. Dump her this will only lead to heartache for you down the track. Selfish people are always selfish.

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yeh totally, 5 years..jeas that would kill me
But, i dont agree with this bit

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Originally Posted by BoredGeorge [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

If she won't have sex with you she is selfish and also useless to you. Keep getting whatever types of sex you can while you look for someone else. Then dump her and tell her the reason why. Do this only after discussion with her regarding how important sex is to the relationship. Maybe say it is important for bonding or something.. I don't know.

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He should dump her first.