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Question. When I suggest a place and time to have dinner, and she suggests something else, is that a genuine request to go to where she wants, a game to test me to see how easily I bend, or both? Is she hoping I'll be the one to choose a third location?
And if she does this, is it important to pretend to "hold the line" until she basically gives an ultimatum, or to give in right away, or somewhere in the middle?
Unless this girl has given you any reason to think she enjoys testing you,* then she obviously doesn't like your idea, therefore she came up with an alternative.
*Stop seeing her if that is the case.
why people play games or try to second guess each other is beyond me. Whats wrong with just saying what you mean, with no games. It really pisses me off.
That sounds reasonable enough. That's why typically I like to have a backup plan or two ready to toss out there, just in case.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spring Haze [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
You would think...but then again, some people don't think.Quote:
Originally Posted by qwerty123 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
She probably just doesn't like your idea. Be a gentlemen and let her choose if she wants. Choosing date locations isn't something you want to fight over with her. That will just ruin the mood.
usually both. If it's not an intended test it will add up over time if you always bend to her will. This is easy to compensate though. You can agree but make sure details remain yours.
Example:
her: "I don't want to go to X, but let's go to Y instead"
you: "That's fine, but it's further away so let's make it 8:15 instead of 8"
It agrees with her but you've also made the decision and haven't conformed completely to her request and you're both happy. Don't do it all the time, but it can help relieve that feeling of "I feel like I'm giving in to her whims" which make no mistake will add up over time if you always agree to whatever she wants to change it to. The important thing here is you retook the lead from her and made an assertive decision based around the new place she wanted to go. Everyone wins!
Cool. Thanks everyone!
One guy I dated last year asked me what kind of food I liked before deciding on where to take me. After we met at a bar we exchanged numbers and began texting casually up until our first date. I liked that he took an interest in making sure we went some place we could both enjoy.
Keep in mind, dinner dates can become excessive and boring. I really like it when the guy offers to make me dinner. On our second date, my ex had me over for pesto pasta and chicken. He made some creme brulee dessert that came out weird, but I loved that he made such an effort. I gladly ate it anyway!
Other fun dates are amusement parks, laser tag, etc.
My current boyfriend took me on a beach date. I'd never been to Del Mar (just North of San Diego) and so he very intricately planned on getting us up there on time for us to swim and play in the water, then huddle together in our towels and watch the sun set. I was very impressed and happy.
Being invited over to the guy's place on just the second date? I mean, obviously that's not a ticket for anything to happen; I'm just curious if this is any sort of norm or not.Quote:
Originally Posted by lahnnabell [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
*hopes that came out right :detective
Hm, laser tag! That's not a bad idea...Quote:
Other fun dates are amusement parks, laser tag, etc.
Damn, if we only had a beach anywhere near here...See, I could always use some ideas for dating places other than the traditional restaurant/movies.Quote:
My current boyfriend took me on a beach date. I'd never been to Del Mar (just North of San Diego) and so he very intricately planned on getting us up there on time for us to swim and play in the water, then huddle together in our towels and watch the sun set. I was very impressed and happy.
Haha, I should tell you about our first date. Originally we had plans to head to the T (Boston) and charcoal (sketch) people and just hang out doing artsy things. We decided to forgo that and he took me to his favorite bar where we played Battleship (bars with board games rule!) and drank Bass. Afterward we walked to get smoothies at the local Asian market. In the middle of talking he got a call from his friend who lived around the corner. We decided to head over there to hang out and drink some more.Quote:
Originally Posted by phys251 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
We ended up shooting Jameson out of the bottle and starting an RHCP sing-a-long. Both of us trashed, we huddled on the steps of his buddy's house, cuddling in the cold. Eventually we passed out together on his friend's pull-out couch, but not before making out for a while.
I like adventurous dates :)
Laser tag rules!!Quote:
Hm, laser tag! That's not a bad idea...
I prefer unconventional dates. I would be totally comfortable stargazing with a bottle of whiskey. Going on a hike. I love being active. Plus, I'm competitive. I love kickin' ass at laser tag.Quote:
Damn, if we only had a beach anywhere near here...See, I could always use some ideas for dating places other than the traditional restaurant/movies.
A true Gentleman asks the Lady her preferences, makes suggestions, then makes the decision.
For example, I was with two very good Lady friends over New Years. I have dated them before, so I knew what they liked in food. I then made a couple of suggestions for our Midnight partying place, they expressed interest, and I made the decision to go where I had already chosen. The evening turned out very well. Doesn't anybody communicate anymore? Instead of playing head-games, ask her as an individual.
Hey I like board games. There are a couple bars that I know where you can borrow some and play them to your heart's content. I have had a couple pretty good dates there.Quote:
Originally Posted by lahnnabell [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Yeah. This gives me an idea for a new thread...Quote:
I like adventurous dates :)
Any other fun, out-of-the-ordinary dates you can remember?
Last time I played laser tag was late last spring. God was it fun!Quote:
Laser tag rules!!
:)Quote:
I prefer unconventional dates. I would be totally comfortable stargazing with a bottle of whiskey. Going on a hike. I love being active. Plus, I'm competitive. I love kickin' ass at laser tag.
If the opportunity presents itself, I've thought about setting up a date to watch a sunrise. We're not just talking some plain vanilla sunrise, mind you; but about an hour out of town, not too far from this cabin I occasionally stay in, is a small mountain where you can see hundreds of miles to the east on a clear day. Though I am not normally an early riser, I decided to do this one morning.
It was without question the most beautiful sunrise I have ever seen. There is no close second.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lahnnabell [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Wow, this is just making me think of all the things I could have done with my ex and she would have been blown out of the water. She would have loved to do every single one of those activities. I did barely anything and she still loved me pretty deeply. Damn, I need to step my game up and be a little more spontaneous.
I dunno what percentage of girls prefer the very demure dinner/coffee date. I've done those and they've gone well, but if a guy wants to impress me on the first few dates, then he should break out the big guns.Quote:
Originally Posted by cmacattack1 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
It can be difficult 'cause you don't want to jump off the deep end and freak the girl out. I try to make it known that I'm adventurous and that I'm okay with taking things one step at a time. Kinda like a "Let's start here and see where the night takes us..." thing.
I do like the idea of going out to dinner for the first date. It gives the pair a chance to sit down and make conversation, and it avoids setting the bar too high for future dates (unless the mistake is made of going to a very fine restaurant--that's for much later on).Quote:
Originally Posted by lahnnabell [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
But second or third and thereafter, conventional dates are overrated. After all, the atmosphere is as important as the time spent.
My ex was very adventurous too. She would always like to go out and stargaze, take a drive around places she's never been before, take me places outdoors that was different. Really wanted to share stuff that was special to her. I rarely did that and sometimes just went through the motions with her as it wasn't something I would have thought of to do. Not to say I'm boring. Aw hell, maybe I am.Quote:
Originally Posted by lahnnabell [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Of course I would kill to do those things now. It's really given me an appreciation for what is out there and made me feel alive. Too bad she already knows that and will think we aren't compatible. I remember she always used to tell me I was "too practical". Yikes. Can't opposites attract AND stay together?