Unbelievably heartbroken

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02-01-10, 12:51 PM
soulsurvivor23

Unbelievably heartbroken

So just when i'm starting to feel ok about myself... come to find out that the girl of my affections who had already broken my heart once, lied to me about a "family reunion" she went to last month and that she really went to see her (on and off) bf... And that it was at that time where they kissed and made up (literally and figuratively) and that she decided once again that he's the only one for her. I am incredibly distraught right now, and it's become so bad that I've started to drink each and every night, by myself. It's ridiculous.
02-01-10, 01:04 PM
shheadz

I'm not going to give you the standard "find a hobby" rigmarole. You're an adult, and if you want to drink away your problems, then go for it. just be aware that a couple months of drinking to block out life can become a long time habit.
02-01-10, 01:11 PM
soulsurvivor23

And you know what? I'm finding that drinking is ****ing with me... I feel good, happy for the first few hours, then when it wears off, I just feel extra depressed even more than when i'm sober.
02-01-10, 01:17 PM
shheadz

Yeah.. drinking to deal with depression is a b!tch. The only real benefit I've ever gotten is it helps me fall asleep a few hours before I normally would. And sleep is a great way to block out life.
02-01-10, 01:24 PM
lostinconfusion

i'm all for drinking ( i'm russian ) BUT drinking away problems is baaaaad simply because it's only a temporary solution. if you wanna get drunk when you are sad, DON'T DO IT ALONE. drinking with friends will make you much happier and lead to eventual recovery by being in good company ;-)
02-01-10, 01:32 PM
soulsurvivor23

The problem is that I tell me friends and they say stuff like "**** that bitch, who cares about her, she's nothing." "Why are you sweating it, there's a million fish in the sea" etc etc... That's why i've honestly kind of just done away with my friends for the time being and stay in seclusion.
02-01-10, 01:43 PM
shheadz

You could probably benefit from being around the guys. Swim in a little testosterone for a little while. Raise up a beer and loudly say, "Yeah, f*ck that b!tch!" You'll probably still feel like crap when you get home, but for at least a few hours out of your crummy life you'll feel good and strong.
02-01-10, 02:00 PM
IncognitoSir

Man I feel you, but you really do need to keep yourself busy man. i JUST broke up wiht my gf hours ago and I literally dont know what to do, im so distraught I can barely think stright. The only thing that has grounded me thus far is posting on here and texting with some friends on ma celly. Be strong bro!
02-01-10, 02:20 PM
boobaa

Why not set up a goal? Like, be an early waker, go fishing, work out?

I did. I still think about her, but not in a missing way. Although it really sucks that she just goes with another person, never feeling any pain.
02-01-10, 02:32 PM
filiks

hard luck boy! you dont have to resort to drinking it wont help solve any thing right now.

what i will advice you to do now if you really want to get healed of your broken heart is first to admit that your relationship is dead.

only then can your road to healing be accessed.

your situation is not the first and wont be the last. so get yourself together and move on with your life
02-01-10, 02:53 PM
soulsurvivor23

Yes, that's the worst part of it! The part where i'm the only one going through this pain and she literally feels nothing. She has her man, she has all those gifts i bought her, she has some stuff that i lent her that i'll probably never get back. She feels smug with her smug little life and I'm the one who has to suffer when she's the one who deserves this pain.
02-01-10, 03:43 PM
lostinconfusion

the worst thing you can do now is feel resentment towards her because i can already tell you are starting to obsess. feel free to be angry at her, but don't think about what she does or doesn't have. she's a flake and will never be happy with what she has. i can bet she'll be running back to you in a few months, at which time i hope you tell her to **** off. trust me she is not better off so stop obsessing about how she is doing and focus your energy on yourself. take care of yourself and think about what you want and deserve. she's not worth anymore of your energy :-)
03-01-10, 08:30 AM
Moe

Hey I was there as were most of the people here. No one held out hope more then me just read my post. Don't contact her and don't answer her for anything. I drank mainly to sleep but I'm nearly over that now also. I was used and lied to like an old rag I was used.
I spend all my extra time at the gym, lost 30 lbs. broke all my own personal weight lifting records just something to stride for.
If you don't you will be here 4 months from now hating her something I never wanted to do but now I despise the skank for what she did to my family.
Today I did something to her that made me feel terrific but most on here thought was horrible but she did things to my family that I will never forgive her for.

Never bother with her again, you were a good and honest person she wasn't oh well.
03-01-10, 08:32 AM
soulsurvivor23

What did you do?
03-01-10, 08:43 AM
SheglowedBindi

you already know drinking isn't going to solve your problems, give yourself like a week or even a day if you can to grieve, cry ,shout and then think off it as a cut off point.
People always say time heals, and its so true, only advice really is to keep busy, productive and surround yourself with loved ones, good luck luv x:D
03-01-10, 09:53 AM
Moe

Quote:

Originally Posted by soulsurvivor23 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

What did you do?

[URL="http://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/34041-want-second-chance.html"]http://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/34041-want-second-chance.html[/URL]
03-01-10, 10:00 AM
cmacattack1

I'd be all for drinking with you buddy.

I think your friends are saying that because they don't want to deal with you being all depressing and mopey. They don't really want to talk about it. I've had friends that politely had it at first but after a month they got sick of it, even though they have been really nice about listening.

A good friend is somebody you can really talk to, but after a while of analyzing it and wondering if she still cares and all that, what else can you really figure out? She has the answers to the questions and you know talking to her will not solve anything.

I'm trying less and less to talk about it. I think maybe that's why I'm still thinking about is because I still talk about it. You can beat the dead horse all you want to but time goes by slower that way, doesn't it?