Worried about my girlfriends new male friend!

I have been dating my girlfriend for about four years now and she has recently found a new friend who is male. She spends a lot of time texting him and they hang out for coffee a lot. last nite she went to his house to watch a movie and for dinner. She tells me about their relationship and when they are going to meet and insists that it is innocent and they have a lot in common in regards to psychological issues with their upbringing and other matters regarding substance abuse. She has told me she is not interested in him in "that way". However, I cannot shake the feeling that something is up. Am I reading too much into this. She knows that I am feeling a bit jealous about the situation too. I am applying for a job 2000 miles away and she keeps asking if they have called me yet and what the prospects look like but hints that she may have to stay in our current town until a job offer came up for her in the new town. I am just a bit suspicious that she is hoping that if I leave then she wont have to worry about breaking it off. Part of me just says trust her but part of me is saying "dont be a fool." Again, am I reading way too much into this?

Is she texting him during the time you and her spend together? That would piss me off.

And how much is a lot? How many times a week is she seeing this guy? I do have male friends that I see on occasion and we'll go to get dinner and/or drinks. So far her behavior doesn't seem TOO suspicious unless the time she spends with him is cutting into the time she spends with you. That is not okay.

Hi, thanks for the reply. She does text a lot when we are together but we still spend a lot of time together. She probably hangs out with him 1 evening a week.

One evening a week is not a lot. I would be concerned if she were going out with him every other day.

Perhaps you could ask her to stop texting so much when you are together. It makes it look like she's not entirely interested in being with YOU, her boyfriend.

Your worried is reasonable,you can talk to your girl friend,let her image,if you have a close female friend,and get touch a lot,does she can tolerat?

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Don't be so stupid...if u do nothing about the situation ,the result must be ur gf will become his gf. You should do a threat to ask ur gf stay away from the guy or to break up with her...

How did she meet this guy?

she had to do community service at the place he worked

Well, you know one thing, this guy wants to bury his cock balls deep inside of her and he's playing the friend game to get his chance. Some women are naive about that, but not many. Seems like she's playing with fire and tempting fate with this guy.

She knows they aren't just friends. Trust your guts, apparently guy's has better instinct about whether he's being cheated on. 94% detection accuracy:

[url]http://www.futurepundit.com/archives/005668.html[/url]

this thread and that article brings back some gawd awful memories...I was in the same boat not too long ago, except that my ex always had vastly more males friends than female, so it wasn't really suspicious at first. But then it grew worse and worse, more friends, more partying, more booze, more excuses, less us.

I hate to admit it, but in my case, Primo is right. I even called her out on it, told her that she was playing with fire, but I guess she was a little too caught up and definitely too naive to take it to heart.

Not saying that OP's luck will be similar to mine, but I sure as hell had the same suspicions.

Women are allowed to have male friends, and men are allowed to have female friends. The only thing I would worry about is that she is starting to make this new dude a priority over her boyfriend.

But her boyfriend can't keep her locked away. That's unrealistic. She is going to make a choice either way. No matter what, this insecurity starts with the OP. If it's not this dude she's hanging out with, it'll be some other dude. Guys like attractive female friends. Hopefully, this girl has SOME sense and isn't feeding this guy the wrong info.

After closer inspection and more thought...

Quote:

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they have a lot in common in regards to psychological issues with their upbringing and other matters regarding substance abuse.

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This says loud and clear that they are getting their emotional needs met by comparing experiences. They may view eachother as a support and/or someone to confide in. An emotional affair could ensue, if it hasn't already.

And meeting in public with a "friend" is entirely different than watching a movie alone in a man's house. You don't do that in a relationship. It's disrespectful.

well. she just dumped me. asked me over to her place and told me it was over and insists it has nothing to do with this other guy and that he was just a distraction

That sucks. Sorry koze. At least you won't find out later she is cheating on you.

She'll be dating that other guy within the week. You just experienced the Monkey Jump:

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/broken-hearts-forum/26975-why-do-some-people-feel-need-jump-one-relationship-another.html#post421340[/url]

Well Koz, you had to see this coming, right? BTW, she is lying about the other man, he was and is the main reason .

Dude... exact thing happened to me March 2008. My girlfriend was hanging with a guy that she insisted was just a friend, nothing going on, same bullshit that your girl was saying. Hell, even her friends were telling me that they thought something sketchy was going on between those two and kept me updated. Plus, they thought the kid was a d-bag anyway. Well, one night she and this dude went to a concert that was five hours away and I was STEAMED. I didn't talk to her all day and we got into the next day over the situation.

So finally two weeks later, on Easter Sunday of all days, she says it's not working out and that it's time to move on. Instinctively I ask if it's about the other dude and she kept denying it. By that following Wednesday, her friends were telling me that they saw those two kissing and that they were together.

It sucks dude, but what I got out of it was that it wasn't my fault. I did nothing wrong and I came out as a stronger person. I came out more confident and comfortable around the opposite sex. It sucks when it happens for a good couple of weeks, but then you start to move on. She'll be the one sorry in the end anyway.

damn bro, that sucks a lot. My ex also was naive when it came to guy friends. she thinks all her guy friends are just nice guys. Most of em just wanna bang her and are just waiting for the right oppurtunity. i hope you can move on soon bro, this def is not your fault though, dont blame yourself man.