gf's falling victim to love affairs between the bf and his videogames...

I just read a thread about a bf's low sex drive and she mentions he likes his videogames perhaps so much so that it takes over life and therefore pushes the gf further and further away.

My personal experience with videogames is both good and bad.

Situation 1:
My bf of 4 years gets a PS2 (from me- stupid me) for christmas. He loves it, I love that he loves it. He hooks it up and goes at 'er. Days, weeks, months, go by... he would still play for hours, upon hours a day.

He already had a low sex drive, but this did him in. I wasn't getting laid more than once a week (when my ideal is 4) and I wasn't getting the attention, bonding, affection I longed her.

At 5 years in, I dumped him. When videogames are more fun than your ready, and willing to f**k gf I'm outta there. That brings me to...

Situation 2:
My bf of 2.5 years just bought a PS3. I had little to say, and a lot of attitude when he brought that damn thing home. Eventually he asked what is up with the attitude towards his new system. I explained that the last time a bf brought a gaming machine home, I lost said bf. And that I had a fear of becoming second place to a machine. He assured me I had nothing to worry about.

Well almost a year has gone buy since the machine, and I'm pleasently surprised. He plays mostly when I'm sleeping on the couch with my feet resting in his lap. Or when I'm not home. He sometimes asks me to play, and sometimes I do.

If he senses that I need some bf-gf time he knows what to do. Turn off the damn game, come and grab my ass. As I said- I'm ready and willing. ;)

Your stories?

My bf doesn't really play video games per se. Once in a blue moon he'll do Halo with the boys but he's a full time dad so the only video games are the Dance Revolution or High School Musical (which he ROCKS at), maybe a little Guitar Hero with the kiddos and me but thats about it.

If its a huge issue I think you just need to find your own personal hobby/interest to keep you occupied or offer to play with him.

I play videogames a lot.

If my g/f couldn't at least tolerate it, (though she plays them by herself on occasion) then I wouldn't continue dating her. It's a pastime.

Some guys play poker, go hunting, build models, read, whatever.

I play videogames with my friends who are hundreds of miles away.

Well we all found something that works for us. I guess my initial thing was about guys who spend absurd amounts of time on videogames. Interpret "absurd" however you like.

I'll start out by saying more than 4 hours a day (on average) is a LOT. My ex would play upwards of 6 hours a day.

Eh, I don't typically spend more than 2 hours on a normal day, if I play at all.

If I just got a new game that everyone is playing, and I got nothing planned for the weekend, I'll probably spend a chunk of Saturday playing, then Sunday running all my errands.

It's my career... I make them for a living so judging my career associated activities in a my relationship doesn't fly too well. I don't ignore my SO for them, but I do love to play them - it's actually my life haha. I make a living with them!

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Originally Posted by TheWizard [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

It's my career... I make them for a living so judging my career associated activities in a my relationship doesn't fly too well. I don't ignore my SO for them, but I do love to play them - it's actually my life haha. I make a living with them!

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What have you developed?

^ I'm sure your gf knew or knows what she's getting into!

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Originally Posted by Frasbee [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

What have you developed?

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I'll send you a PM about it, as revealing some of those removes some of my Anonymous-ness on the interwebs...

I'm an ex-Everquest widow. My ex would spend ridiculous amounts of time playing that retarded game. The only time i ever saw him get up at six in the morning of his own volition was when he had to join his online buddies in a raid at that time.

His life was just waiting there... wife, baby, dinner on the table, all that. He would rather play EQ. As far as I know, he still does, but as of four years ago that is not my problem.

i didnt buy it cause game like that will kill your social life. I play at my girls house but i can tell she doesnt like it since she wants all my attention. I usually stopped playing with her brother if i see her all grumpy. lol

MMO's are only videogames by the medium. By comparison to console gaming PC MMO players are going to spend significantly more time playing them than others unless they have some sort of self control.

Everquest and WoW (World of Warcraft) own the souls of many and have destroyed many marriages and relationships because the person playing (not always a guy) doesn't know how to balance their real life.

Yeh gaming can be very addictive, I know because I play them. But I suspect girl that your relationship with your first bf wouldn't have made it with or without the ps2.

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Originally Posted by Mishanya [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

But I suspect girl that your relationship with your first bf wouldn't have made it with or without the ps2.

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PS2 wasn't the sole reason for the breakup. But it was my breaking point. There were numerous problems they range from not having deep conversations about love and lifes meanings to never venturing further than missionary sex on the bed once a week not to forget lack of affection. Always promised me the world but that damned videogame stole his what little attention I used to get.

One thing I'd like to add to situation #2

Recently we went to future shop we were looking at games. I saw one with guns (I'm good at these and don't mind playing them). He refused to buy it claiming that he would get addicted to it. So I guess he and I are both aware obviously of the negative consequences that videogames can bring and doesn't want to subject himself to games that could intrude into our relationship. It was nice to see that he cared enough to control himself.

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Originally Posted by girl68 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

One thing I'd like to add to situation #2

Recently we went to future shop we were looking at games. I saw one with guns (I'm good at these and don't mind playing them). He refused to buy it claiming that he would get addicted to it. So I guess he and I are both aware obviously of the negative consequences that videogames can bring and doesn't want to subject himself to games that could intrude into our relationship. It was nice to see that he cared enough to control himself.

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Communication is all that's necessary. If you don't tell him it bugs you how will he know? Also if he's taking the initiative to say something like that and he's a gamer than he's putting you first.

This can be a good litmus test for the maturity of someone you're dating. If they understand it as a form of entertainment but not something to do all the time they're probably perfectly sociable people. It's the ones that disappear into Azeroth for 12 hours a day and neglect teir own bodily functions that need help. In this scenario they are just like other drug users. The whole point of drugs is to escape reality. What do you do when you log on for 14 hours a day? Yeah, thought so.

I'm sure had I played it, I would have gotten into WoW, but the endless nature of the game, as well as the repetitiveness, and the idea of wasting my life away to it was enough to rebel against it even when all of my buddies binged on it for 2 years.

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Originally Posted by TheWizard [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Communication is all that's necessary. If you don't tell him it bugs you how will he know? Also if he's taking the initiative to say something like that and he's a gamer than he's putting you first.

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In situation 1 I didn't speak up for a long time months in fact. At that point I discussed I want to mean more than a videogame, and I needed attention and affection. He promised to change and I promised to stop nagging. I did my part he did not. The next time we had a talk he was dumped.

My now bf puts me first absolutely which feels wonderful in return I treat him like like a rockstar ;)

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Originally Posted by Frasbee [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I'm sure had I played it, I would have gotten into WoW, but the endless nature of the game, as well as the repetitiveness, and the idea of wasting my life away to it was enough to rebel against it even when all of my buddies binged on it for 2 years.

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You like my bf realize that you can get addicted so you just refuse the game altogether.

My husband and I both play video games. Him a little more than me, but I can definitely while away the hours with them. Both of us keep our gaming habits in check so that we're not neglecting other parts of our lives and we don't have kids right now, so we can indulge in these kinds of activities to a degree. If he wants to go on a little gaming binge, I'm fine with it. He'll play and I'll do other things, like read or catch up with shows I like on hulu, and in a small apartment, our "together-but-alone" time is nice. We need a break from each other.


We have a friend who is currently LIVING in World of Warcraft. He lives with his Dad and has no job and girlfriend and is in his thirties. I can't really tell if he's avoiding getting his shit together in order to play the game or because he plays the game.

My guy recently bought himself an Xbox after years of having gone without a gaming system. He was very excited for the Xbox Elite and wanted to play MW2. The only questioning I did was asking him to make sure he had enough spending money for Mexico (he's studying abroad for the next 10 weeks) before making such a large purchase. He assured me it was fine.

We play a lot together. I love MW2 and L4D2 right now. But there are times I'd rather not play, and he's cool with that. I like taking advantage of his video game time because it gives me time to chill out with myself. A lot of the time I'll sit on the computer while he plays and keeps my feet warm. He also kisses me in between kills.

However, my ex from about 7 years ago would play FOREVER. I fell asleep so many nights just waiting for him to finish his games. He would just leave me hanging and sit on Xbox Live all night if he could. But he was selfish and immature, and I have since continued to upgrade.

I used to be a hardcore gamer. Really, really obsessive. It didn't interfere with the social life I did have because I cut out doing homework (and sometimes even going to school), but I could run through a game or two in a week, and eventually learned how to download them to my computer and hack them for "unofficial" use.

Interestingly enough, I grew out of games as I grew into caring about girls, which didn't happen until around my senior year of high school. I actually found it annoying because I didn't know what to do with my spare time. I've now reached a point where I may disavow personal gaming altogether, so I decided to go out with a blast... I got World of Warcraft! Hell, I even paid money for it!

When I got the game, I texted my friends, "I have entered the World of Warcraft. In case I'm never seen or heard from again, please tell my family I love them." I gained thirty levels in less than a week. Maybe that's just because I'm capable of disavowing sleep, and maybe it's also because I'm not doing anything because I'm in the middle of a university transfer. Or maybe, just maybe, I will regret this for years to come.