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you need to lay it on th eline - tell him you either want to move forward with your relationship or your out of there.
If you are prepared to walk and lose a 'friendship' then sobeit. He will have to accept your decision eventually.
If you choose to walk do not contact him, do not answer his texts, e-mails, phone calls ect. That is just giving him false hope.
Has he had any gfs since you have known him? Is he uber shy? Maybe he wants to go further but needs a rocket up his ass to do it.
ultimatum time i think....
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has he ever tried to touch you? i mean like graze his hand over urs or sit a bit close - or even got drunk and tried it on?
any signs there might be interest there he is just suppressing?
oh and is he capricorn? cos bloody capricorn men are a sodding nightmare they take a fricken age to crack - take it from one who knows ;)
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maybe he has been properly hurt in the past and is scared to commit to anything more than casual.
either way you will find out when/if you cut ties.
he may come running when he realises he is losing you, and if he doesnt come running then its good that you got out
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Usually we (women) find reasons to justify a man's behavior when he is not responding in the way that we wish he would. Sometimes it is just this simple - "he just is not that into you" - difficult to hear but true. Move on - if he wants you, he will do what he needs to do in order to have you.
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Sounds 'exactly' like the situation I was in, only we'd been romantically involved previous and for 6 months prior to getting stuck in this cycle and it was long distance...well 2 hours distance. In total he was in my life for 2 years.....the cycle consisting of one and half years.
Like you I'd told him I felt, he'd said he didn't want a relationship and used other classic excuses as to why he didn't. At same time he wouldn't leave me alone and was always the initiator! No booty call involved, so it wasn't that keeping him around either.
Like you I got pissed off, tried to cut off contact numerous times, yet he wouldn't leave me alone and I'd always go back. Trouble is, we are too nice :(
Then it was time for drastic measures, because he wouldn't f**k off and I reached a point where I'd had enough FINALLY....this was 3 weeks ago! lol
I decided to cut off contact for good and by just totally ignoring him! Since then he's tried to call, etc, but I just keep on ignoring him.
It does get easier.
And mine is a Saggittairus bloke......takes a lot to pin them down apparantly because they lurve their freedom too much.
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I'm taking it that you were for the majority, the 'initator' then?Quote:
Originally Posted by bah [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
In my situation, I wasn't. I would never call or text him...he always came to me and continued to do so and despite my ending it a thousand times. It was hard to not pick up all those calls. But easy to not call him because it's something I'd never done anyway.
Even if he does decide to call, it's unlikely to be because he has had a change of heart. It would just continue on and without things changing. I sat around thinking he would change and hoping that ending things/withdrawing would make him realise that maybe he wanted me (at one point we didn't speak for 2 months), but even those 2 months apart didn't change things.
Distance doesn't stop them calling either. Like I said, we were 2 hours apart and he'd still call. I'm unsure why you'd think he'd stop calling, when you say he's going home? Does he live abroad or something?
This guy is 42 and has never been married?
I think you stimply need to be stronger and move on. Really what you're doing is just giving in each and every time. You need to be stronger.
He's f**king with your head. The proper course of action in this case would be to initiate the no contact rule and possibly find a new man to distract yourself with. Someone who actually cares about you won't f**k with your feelings and he's just standing in the way of you finding someone better.
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I was thinking you were the 'main' initiator and because you said he's not likely to phone you. That you have to stop yourself from phoning him.Quote:
Originally Posted by bah [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
So why won't he be likely to call you this time and if he has been the 'main' initiator in the past, which kept this cycle going?
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i agree. You've been Friendzoned. He's not treating you the way you want to be treated- why keep going back for more of the same?
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^^ Know exact how you feeling :(
How long has this all been going on for?
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The same length of time as me then.
Thing is and if he is like the guy in my situation, he's probably been leading you on and into thinking it was 'more' and to keep you around.....it keeps you hooked and when you are hooked it's harder to break away.
I was starting to get fed up of the situation way back in November and after only being in it for 8 months and now I'm at a point where I could take him or leave him. I'm not bothered anymore and to be honest think I'd checked out of it all and stopped caring some months ago. You will reach that stage eventually.