Actually, this system is just as quick to penalize greed through war and rewards many acts of kindness and justice as well.
Actually, most notions are based off of reward, punishment is simply a section of all the motivators and demotivators around us, not "every notion."
I'm starting here in your post because the nonsense you write is not logical, its just you trying to create a framework to justify your negative feelings. You cannot simply feel depressed, so you try to search for a greater meaning in your depression, and in the process construct these ridiculous notions about life and use those to justify your depression so that you can say something like: "i really am starting to believe that this life is nothing but punishment for being born.. some sort of hell."
People always like to pretend their emotions are the results of their thoughts, but its usually just the other way around, with our thoughts simply trying to justify our emotions. So with all the emotions you have running around, stop focusing on just the shitty ones.
You need to understand a few things:
1) You, as a person, can change, and will change. This is not just an issue of willpower or the ability to believe in yourself, this is simply a recognition that many things are going to happen to you in life that will change who you are as a person, how you feel about yourself, and how others will feel about you. In this process of change, which is already occurring around you, you have the option to shape that direction in which you change. You can either focus on the negativity in your life and keep justifying it and reinforcing your phobias, or you can focus on your good talents and develop those, and let those guide you.
2) You are not the only person to have ever felt this way. Many of the people who intimidate you, who you believe to be in a far better place than you, have gone through what you are going through or will go through this in some form in their lives. They will have their moments of depression, withdrawal, and feelings of inferiority. The overwhelming majority of these people, both those who are in the same place as you now or those who will be later, will exit this stage as part of their natural growth.
Your problem is simply this: you have a lot of urges and no way to express them, so you take it out on yourself. Most people see you as an introvert because you are shy and withdrawn, but you want to be outside and meet people, you want to be liked, you want to have relations, you want to have fun - but you are afraid, so you don't go out, don't meet people, and don't get the responses you want from others, with the result that the urges that should motivate you to go out are instead reminders of what you don't have - and, thus, depress you even more.
But there is a simple solution to this: you need to grow a ****ing pair of balls. If you are so socially uncomfortable that you cannot go to the same store out of fear that some person who you don't know might somehow have a negative emotion about you: then, 1) you lack any and every ability to withstand even the slightest perceived dislike from ANYONE, 2) are so timid that you take every other person's thoughts to heart before your own, and 3) completely deny anyone a chance to get to know you as you are too ****ing scared to even stick around.
Do you realize that you are doing this to yourself? Life didn't do this. There is no rule, no greed, no war, no punishment that is perpetuating what is going on with your life, its you.
And, believe it or not, thats a good thing, because you are something you have control over.
You need to overcome your phobias. You need to be able to go into stores where people see you frequently and socialize with people there. That does not mean become buddy, buddy, just that you are capable of exchanging the basic pleasantries ("hey, how you doing" "good, hows your day" "just busy, school/work, you guys still have that [insert whatever you're looking for]?" "sweet, thanks man"). You need to learn these small simple social cues. You are not incapable of learning them, you are not somehow mystically designed to be inferior thanks to some god of karma to never get these things that everyone is intellectually capable of understanding, you are simply so timid that you deny yourself all these social experiences that people are supposed to learn from in life. I have no idea how old you are, I am guessing 18-25, with the social abilities of someone around 14, and the reason for that is because you withdraw yourself so much that you are missing out on the experiences that you are expected to learn from by your age.
Thats why girls aren't interested in you.
You are insecure, you lack social knowledge, and you can't stand rejection - you take things so personally that you cannot even stand the thought of a human being disliking you. How about saying," he/she doesn't like me? Who cares, **** them, whose coming to the game tonight?"
You need to start learning. You won't have a girlfriend tomorrow, or next month, but if you stop being so timid and start trying to connect with other people instead of running away from every little thing that makes you uncomfortable, then you can start learning all the social rules that your peers now, and in the process become a more complete person. And when you do that, you'll see that there is absolutely nothing separating you from any other guy out there.
So instead of sitting around and sulking and writing depressing thoughts down into paper, go outside and meet some people. Join a gym, find a workout partner, get a job with some coworkers, join a student group / club / union and make some diverse friends: whether they're nerds, loaners, introverts, extroverts, potheads, ravers, or whatever the **** else. Don't judge, there's something to be learned from everyone around you in life. Don't make their stupid mistakes, of course, thats not what I'm saying, I'm just saying you need to learn from those around you. And if you have friends who constantly puncture your self esteem and ego, people who put you down and make you feel less able to be the person you want to become, then you need to ditch them and make new friends. Life is about growing as a person, and you need people who help you grow, not stand in your way.
But right now, the main thing standing in your way is you. So get out from behind your desk and games / TV shows or whatever you spend your time on, and go outside, and if you do get rejected / hurt / insulted, shrug it off - thats a lesson every guy you wish you were like already knew, and its an easy one, and the first one you'll need to learn.
