Is it true that a guy looses interest in you when...........

I am wondering if it is true that a guy loses interes in you once he has "caught you," like when he knows that you really like him and are sort of "his."
The reason I am asking this question is because like I mentioned in my previous thread, I was seeing this guy for a while and it was sort of long distance, and the last time he came here to see me. I was really excited and started spending a lot of time at his place including sleeping over at his place. I would leave some of my stuff at his place, and then the next morning he would go to work and then I woke up later and went to work too. I guess I became much more available for him with my time. I also became more sexual with him during this time. However, we had known each other for about 4 months before this, but he wasnt a big talker and wouldnt really express much with me. We had a sort of immature relationship I would say, like we wouldnt really talk about serious things like values, or goals, or beliefs.

I noticed however that during the time when I was sleeping over at his house and being very enthusiastic to see him, he was giving me strange looks, like sort of taking me for granted, or thinking that I am clingy.Also, after that time, he didnt contact me much for 2 weeks, which kinda freaked me out. (He was however really excited to see me after the two weeks and we hung out).

Am I overanalyzing this, or is it true that once a girl really likes you, and starts to spend a lot of time with you, and is very eager to spend lots of time with you, you might consider this clingy? And is this a big turnoff for men?

Do you think I turned him off/scared him off by being too available for him with my time and being very eager to see him?

Thanks!

It all depends on the person. In my case, I was the clingy one ;p (I'm the guy) Although this wasn't a problem with my fiance, she was always wanting to be with me too.

Some guys like to be with their GF whenever they have free time (like me, ready to commit and be with her forever)

Other guys like to have more free time to be with their friends. (not ready to commit, still just playin around)

Maybe but not contacting a girl I really like for 2 weeks is something big. A guy will not wait 2 weeks of not talking to a girl if he really likes the girl. Personally, if i like the girl and everything is good. I will never stop talking to her. I would give her space but i will still call atleast once or twice in a day.

I dont really know what hes thinking. Maybe he wanted to be away for 2 weeks to keep the spark between u guys. However, like i said, a guy doesnt really need to do that.

Some guys are like that, and those aren't the guys you want. It's actually a pretty good test- if he loses interest after he feels he's "won" you, he's a bad guy.

I do feel that males are natural hunters and they are most intrigued/excited by getting whom they want. Once the hunt is over most of the excitement does fade away. It does not mean however that he will stop caring or dump the girl right away.

Those guys don't make good mates, long term. You need someone who will stand at the mouth of the cave with his club in his hand, fending off the jackals, not some flake who gets distracted and wanders off.

The real challenge is actually keeping a girl, not getting her in the first place. A real man knows that.

Very, very, very true. I'm the guy that has lost interest with every girl I've been with after they have fallen head over heels for me. Maybe it would have happened anyway whether they did or not, but they are not guys you want to be with. It should be growing stronger towards a climax, not climax and subside. While the honeymoon does wear off, it shouldn't mean that it should continue to decline.

They need their priorities straight and they need to want to be in a relationship. It should be a sign that they didn't want to be in one when they meet you but then decide otherwise. Not a deal breaker, but something to be cautious about. Most of the time, you don't magically "change" somebody as romantic as it sounds.

It could scare someone off if your really over the top. It depends how long stuff has been going on and how fast your behaviour changes. You just need to find the right balance for both personalities.

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Originally Posted by OneQuestion [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

It all depends on the person. In my case, I was the clingy one ;p (I'm the guy) Although this wasn't a problem with my fiance, she was always wanting to be with me too.

Some guys like to be with their GF whenever they have free time (like me, ready to commit and be with her forever)

Other guys like to have more free time to be with their friends. (not ready to commit, still just playin around)

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I disagree with your view here. Although this may be the case with some ppl, here is how i see it:

Some guys like to be with their GF whenever they have free time (Potentially unhealthy relationship, partners always attached at the hip, no hobbies or other life skills to keep them stable, especially if they brake up their world will come CRASHING down and won't be able to get up very fast).

Other guys like to have more free time to be with their friends. (Obviously I am not going to be talking about people who are always ditching their ladies, i am talking in moderation... Healthier balance, other things going on then just their girl, will not be sent into a deep depression should something happen in their relationship).


I know some people will object, and like I said above, all is in moderation.. but also reading the other thread about number of sexual partners then coming here and seeing your post OneQuestion, you seem to be fragile and the overall contents of your post make it seem as if you are insecure. (not trying to be mean or anything, i could be wrong, just an observation).

I don't think it's necessarily unhealthy to want to spend most of your free time with your partner. You don't lose your hobbies; you share them. That's why it's good to be with someone who shares similar interests. The more things you both like to do, the more things you can do together.

this usually will happen in younger men who only want to spread their seeds and aren't ready for a solid long term relationship.

raverboy

I think it's lame that your partner has to like the same things you do and that makes it a better relationship. I like being with somebody different because if you keep an open mind, you can experience and learn to like what they bring to the table, as does you vice versa.

You can always try new things together...

It sounds like your clingy-ness scared him a bit at first.

I definitely agree that the clinginess scared him away at first. It was a vibe I sent out, which basically said please dont leave me. Yeah....not very attractive, hehe. I know if a guy became clingy with me, it would be an instant turn off, like I mean if he depended on me for his happiness and stuff.

But you're not a guy, you're a girl, gemini. I don't like it when guys expect girls to be all casual about everything the way they are.

Naturally, we don't know all the facts from just one post, but here are a few genralities I've noticed, maybe one or more will apply:

First of all, this is one of the many cases where I feel it's not a "guy thing" or ar "girl" thing", it's just a "human thing". We want what we don't have, and if you make yourself too available, you may, in fact, lose interest. I'm sure it's happened to girls too, which is why they're attracted to the "bad boys" who are a challenge to tame, rather than the "good guys".

And here is one where gender DOES matter, I think: Guys do tend to run away from commitment more often than girls because we're not ready to settle down until much further into our lives as compared to women. I don't know why, maybe we just don't hear the biological clock ticking, should we want to have children..that's one of my theories. Maybe it's tradition, I don't know.

BUT if we happen to come accross "THE ONE", where WE fall head over heels, naturally, we'll be ready to settle down with this one. If feelings are reciprocated, then there's the match made in heaven, if not, the girl doesn't feel the same way, then it will be a guy writing your very same post, asking why women push a guy away when he gives himself completely.

I think, in the end, it's compatibility. If the guy is ready (and looking) it'll increase the chances of him wanting to settle down with you and have this kind of close relationship. If he's not ready, than this is, unfortunately, a sign that..he's just not THAT into you :S.

Give him no more than he gives you..if it's not enough for you or not what you're looking for; move on. Who knows, maybe if you move on he'll realize he doesn't want to lose you :).

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Originally Posted by Gigabitch [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Some guys are like that, and those aren't the guys you want. It's actually a pretty good test- if he loses interest after he feels he's "won" you, he's a bad guy.

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This. The good ones either never feel like you were one to be 'won', or try even harder once they have 'won' you ;)

OMG, why are we branding guys as good or bad? We are not in high school anymore. TBH most girls nowadays are not worth pursuing and that is exactly what they get. Guys get them and then face a great disappointment once they find out who really is behind that cute face. We get what we deserve. period.

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Originally Posted by all alone [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

It could scare someone off if your really over the top. It depends how long stuff has been going on and how fast your behaviour changes. You just need to find the right balance for both personalities.

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Originally Posted by OneQuestion [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

It all depends on the person. In my case, I was the clingy one ;p (I'm the guy) Although this wasn't a problem with my fiance, she was always wanting to be with me too.

Some guys like to be with their GF whenever they have free time (like me, ready to commit and be with her forever)

Other guys like to have more free time to be with their friends. (not ready to commit, still just playin around)

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I disagree with your view here. Although this may be the case with some ppl, here is how i see it:

Some guys like to be with their GF whenever they have free time (Potentially unhealthy relationship, partners always attached at the hip, no hobbies or other life skills to keep them stable, especially if they brake up their world will come CRASHING down and won't be able to get up very fast).

Other guys like to have more free time to be with their friends. (Obviously I am not going to be talking about people who are always ditching their ladies, i am talking in moderation... Healthier balance, other things going on then just their girl, will not be sent into a deep depression should something happen in their relationship).


I know some people will object, and like I said above, all is in moderation.. but also reading the other thread about number of sexual partners then coming here and seeing your post OneQuestion, you seem to be fragile and the overall contents of your post make it seem as if you are insecure. (not trying to be mean or anything, i could be wrong, just an observation).

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I don't think that a man wanting to spend most of his free time with a woman is irrational. Some people simply don't have a whole lot going on and put all of their energy into the relationship. Most women wish that their men made more time for them. To NEVER be apart IS unhealthy, but I don't think that is what is being talked about here. Nine times out of ten when I hear a guy refer to a girl as "clingy" it is because that guy is noncommital and wants the benefits of a relationship (ie sex and attention when HE wants it) without sacrificing any personal freedom or having to take their girlfriend's feelings into consideration. "Clinginess" as I see it would be more properly defined as "loving enthusiasm". If any one person is significantly more enthusiastic than the other about the relationship there is a problem.

We should be more careful when generalizing guys. My first girlfriend would sometimes skip Church to spend time with me, even though she was highly religious, and I loved that. My second girlfriend frequently wanted to have girls nights and almost never wanted to spend a full day together on the weekend, and guess what? I broke up with her. Not all guys like what they can't have, and become more attracted to you if you are harder to get. If I find it difficult to arrange something with a girl, I forget about her and find someone less annoying. In particular, the OP's behavior would have been appreciated by me.