My GF has gained weight, how can I get her to realize it w/out hurting her?

I love her. We're both in our late 20's. We've been together about 1.5 years, and it's VERY serious. I want to stay with her, and really can't see myself with anyone else. She is everything I want: mentally and emotionally healthy (zero mind games), no drama, gives me my space when I need it, not needy but not distant, likes sex, and just good all around. We have a very good relationship.

However, since we started dating, she has stopped exercising as much and started eating more. In fact, she's the type of girl who will eat anything and everything you put in front of her. She used to run 2 or 3 times a week, now she doesn't do it... EVER. She wasn't skinny when we first started dating, but she was definitely still fit and sexy. In the past year, it's really gotten bad. I notice her shirts are all fitting really tight and it almost looks like the chubbiness is trying to break out through the seams (kinda like muffintops?). When she sits, I see the buddha belly form, and her upper half is becoming more and more "barrel-shaped". Overall, it's not looking so pretty.

I noticed I've also been silently resenting her for it, and I hate that I feel that way because I love her so much and my thoughts are mean. I know, I know, if i REALLY loved her I wouldn't care what she looked like. That's bullshit, first of all. But anyway, I think one of the main reasons I'm unhappy is because she seemed to have stopped taking care of herself. It's almost like she doesn't care what I think of her anymore. Or maybe she's so comfortable having such a committed boyfriend, she feels it's safe to let it all go now. It's totally unfair. It's one thing if she has no control of what's happening, but it's another if it's happening because of her own negligence or laziness.

If I were truly shallow, I would've left her by now. I'm writing this because I really need help to stay in this relationship. I want to stay with her. But I also want her to look good. I've tried the whole doing activities together stuff. I've dropped big hints like, "Hey, I think we've both been eating really unhealthy, and we don't exercise as much..." She's not getting it. I've even tried taking up a sport that I know she enjoys, just so I can motivate her to do something. But nothing works. She simply doesn't want to exercise anymore. She doesn't want to run anymore because "it's not fun." Staying in shape takes a lot of work (I exercise 3-5 times per week, so I'm very fit and toned), and she simply doesn't want to do that work.

What can I do? I don't want to be the guy who makes an otherwise UN-selfconscious girl selfconscious. I don't want her to feel bad about herself. I don't want her to think I don't love her. I just want her to take care of herself again. For her and for me. I will never tell her she's fat or unattractive, because she's not. I will never tell her to go exercise if she doesn't want to, because she'll just end up resenting me for it. But I just don't want to have a fat girlfriend, and fat is where she's headed right now. I don't want to be the guy with the fat girlfriend, where everyone says behind his back, "Jeez, why is he dating her?" If she looked this way 1.5 years ago, I don't think I would have started dating her. It's just not my type, and I'm trying very hard to stay attracted.

Please help.

I'm wondering why you can't just tell her than she has gained a lot of weight. Honesty is always the best policy I think and if she can't take some honesty without getting all upset, then it is because she doesn't like to hear the truth. She likely has noticed herself that she has piled on weight, so it's not like you wouldn't be telling her anything she isn't already aware of. I'd far appreciate a man who could be honest with me, rather than a one who kept his feelings and thoughts quiet. If I know there is a problem, then I can deal with it and solve the problem....or try to.

There is a way and a means to approach this and without coming across as taunting or cruel and insensitive.

Yeah honesty is the best. You need to tell her she has gained weight and admit that your worried about her health and you really want her to lose weight! use the health angle and even threaten you can't be with someone whos unhealthy.

I don't think you should say anything (unless you have exercised every other option). Surely she owns a mirror and can see for herself. Females are incredibly neurotic about their bodies. What you CAN do is join in some sort of physical activity with her... tell her YOU want to be fitter, and would appreciate a workout partner. Or take a couple of (strenuous) dance classes every week. Or take up distance biking. You know - do something active together.

Does weight seem to be an issue for other members of her family? And has she always struggled with it? If yes, you are probably fighting an uphill battle.

and you can tell her you want to eat more healthy food, you go cooking together, healthy stuff, it's both fun and good for the looks - eventually.

PS: Ups, I just realised I am posting between in the 'ask a female'-forum. If the reply is inappropriate or anything- feel free to delete it.

Two things. Lead by example, as Vashti suggested, and buy her some clothes in her old size, innocently telling her you thought the shorts were cute and you thought you remembered her being a size 9.

Honestly telling your gf she's fat is not going to blow over well, if you take that approach good freggin' luck. Take the second.

You could mention that you feel YOU have maybe developed a little of a beer gut and want to try to work it off and want to do so by cooking healthier or working out and would like a work out buddy or you need her "help" in not buying/eating junk food in front of you so you'll have no cravings for it. Maybe cut back on the boozing.

Women and weight are very, very sensitive subjects. I'd approach this with kid gloves.

Not to be mean, but you guys might not last. :( Even if everything else is perfect, being attracted to your partner is a big issue. You said it yourself that you're resenting her for being fat.

I've gained weight since I've been with my boyfriend. I think I look disgusting but he lies and says I look great. Either way I'm in the gym like crazy and I'm on a diet because I don't want to be fat. I want other men to look at me and be envious of what he has, even if he doesn't care. My point is, you're girlfriend knows she's heavier, but she'll really only fix it for herself not for you. There are things you can do though to make your time together healthier.

Why don't you guys work out together or do an activity together (rock climbing, bikram yoga, mountain biking). Tell her you want to start running and need a partner. Stop going out to eat as much. Stay in and cook healthy meals.

My poor boyfriend LOVES to eat out. But because I'm sensitive about my weight gain he has compromised and now we stay in more often and I cook.

Dieting is hard and losing weight is hard, especially for women. She's not going to lose it over night but you can help her out by making healthier life choices for yourself.

Also, get her an iPod and a Nike+. Suggest training to run a marathon. That's what I'm doing and it's f*cking addicting. As a side note, if you guys break up, she'll still lose the weight in the hopes of attracting other men. That's how girls work.

THANK YOU ALL for your thoughtful replies!! I really appreciate it. I've tried almost everything you mentioned here, except for being honest. My GF is extremely confident, no body image issues whatsoever, which is another thing I love about her. She's not really like the typical girl who stares in the mirror or asks me daily if I think she's fat. She's very confident and free spirited. That said, I think she would take the news well if I just went the honest route. However, I don't want to be The Guy who introduces her to the ugly world of calorie counting and self-consciousness and body image issues. I don't want to be THAT GUY.

I've also tried telling her that it's all about me, that I'm the one getting unhealthy, and how I'd like to eat more responsibly. She's not getting that hint either.

I try to get her to do cardio activities with me, but she always has some sort of reason why she can't do them (eg: "Running is no fun, so I don't want to do it." Then I tell her it's called "exercise" for a reason, it's not meant to be "fun." Then she argues that some of her friends "LOOOOOVE" to run, and that's why they do it. I think her friends are doing it because it keeps them in shape and looking good, and if they had the choice of sitting at home with a bag of Cheetos and a pork chop and veg out on the couch and somehow STILL keep the same figure, then I'll bet my unborn children that their "love" for running will go right out the window. She's not getting that either.

She's never had "weight issues" with her family. Her sister is definitely on the very chunky side, and eats just as irresponsibly without exercising. I'm worried my GF is starting to take her sister's shape. In fact, I'm finding that image/thought highly disturbing. I'm not asking for her to be a super model. She definitely takes me the way I am with all my flaws without asking me to change anything, which is why I'm finding it difficult to ask her to change this one "flaw" that I just can't live with.

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I want other men to look at me and be envious of what he has, even if he doesn't care.

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You have no idea how much I wish she would feel that way about me. Although it sounds weird, I want other guys to check my GF out once in a while, or to be envious of me. But it's just not the case.

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Tell her you want to start running and need a partner.

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Running "hurts her legs."

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As a side note, if you guys break up, she'll still lose the weight in the hopes of attracting other men. That's how girls work.

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I think THAT is why I have resentment. I know she'll do it for other guys, but not for me. It's also like false advertising. She was all fit and in shape when she was single, and now she's letting it all go to crap. It's just not what I signed up for. It's not fair.

When couples get too comfortable in the relationship, they tend to lax on personal growth and appearance.
I did that in the past and gained a lot of weight, and my previous GFs did too. It was unhealthy and just bad attitude.
My ex-wife never really gained weight, but she resented me for not exercising. She was very mean about it, and made
me feel like crap. Ever since I left my ex-wife, I decided to commit myself to personal improvement. I lost 35 lbs,
I am fit, and I feel great. My GF is a former trainer, and she finds me super hot (even though I'm not model-material).
There will always be pressure on my part to stay fit and be on my "A GAME". My GF is gorgeous, and she knows it.
She takes care of herself so she can look sexy for me, which I appreciate. I believe people should make the effort
to look good (and feel good) for their partner. The mutual pressure is a good thing.

Running is terrible for the knees and joints, and is not a good choice for most people. Have you tried getting her to do something that is more fun? (DANCING, I SAID.) You wouldn't ever catch me agreeing to run either. Try offering something more pleasant.

You should just tell her she has gained weight. There is no point in beating around the bush, she needs to see the harsh reality, im sure she will thank you for it later. If i were gaining weight I would want someone to tell me straight. Its not just her looks but her health too if she carries on like she is.

I wouldnt recommend running either, I run because i enjoy it, but even then it takes alot of mental resolve and drive to actually run far enough to make an impact, its far too easy to break into a slower pace etc, like vash said, dancing is prob best.

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Originally Posted by Gigabitch [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Two things. Lead by example, as Vashti suggested, and buy her some clothes in her old size, innocently telling her you thought the shorts were cute and you thought you remembered her being a size 9.

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I endorse this.

Let me tell you why. Women ARE truly neurotic about body issues. I gained weight since I met my fiance. He never said a word, always insisted I was beautiful. I felt disgusting, and would say so. He would never react. One day I whined about not fitting into some pants, and he made some comment about "laying off the Starbucks" and I had a freakout and joined a weightloss program, dropped 20 lbs immediately. I could've done it sooner, but one silly little comment was the incentive I 'needed'.

I STILL don't know if he meant anything by it, but it got the job done.

I agree with Giga and Blue. If you've tried everything else then maybe make a little comment. She probably doesn't realize that her weight bugs you.

You could also quit being so self-centered and start liking fat chicks. Even Shamu needs lovin'.

I agree that running sucks. You see results pretty quickly when you run regularly, but I just hate it. While it's not the BEST at helping with weight loss, I do yoga regularly. I also love to swim and need to get back into it. It's a total body work out but without the stress on your joints. And you get cardio. And the water just feels great :)

My boyfriend is really hard on himself about his weight. I think he looks wonderful. I know he's gained a little bit of weight in the last several months, and so I'm going to take proactive steps to help him with it. He and I will eat out frequently and this gets us both into trouble. Pizza, subs, etc. are bad food choices. Full of carbs that you don't need (if you're not working them off) and calories. They also fill you up, and so I'll eat and feel awful afterward sometimes.

I have to make an effort to go shopping regularly. I buy fruits, veggies, yogurt, juice, bran cereal. I indulge with some things like bagels, or a pint of ice cream. I'd rather that than stop by the 7/11 around the corner from my house on a whim. And sometimes when I want food, I have to make the conscious decision to eat at home instead of going out. Saves money and my body.

My boyfriend keeps saying he wants to learn how to cook. I'm gonna take him up on that and buy some cool cookbooks that we can play with together. It'll be a great way for us to actively spend time together, both of us learning something new and fun. AND we're gonna benefit from it health-wise. Maybe you could do the same? They have some nice country-based cookbooks out there, I'm thinking of learning some Spanish and Mexican (my boyfriend's fav) cuisine.

In the end, if she absolutely refuses to join you in this effort for a healthy lifestyle, it may be the straw that breaks the camel's back. You have identified a dealbreaker here. Nothing wrong with that, but it's important that you don't ignore it in the hopes that it'll get better. It won't magically get better, as you're aware of I'm sure. But I applaud you for a well-thought out post, and your efforts to lead by example. That's far more than most guys I know would have done :)

Don't EVER tell her she is unattractive or make any direct criticism of her appearance. She would resent you. You should suggest it to her. Go work out too and take care of your own appearance. She would notice you are taking care of yourself and she would be pressured to do the same. The key thing is to suggest she can look better but never attack her directly.

ahhh that horrible E word I hate so much. Exercise!

I would suggest getting a nintendo Wii, and Wii Fitness PLUS(it has extras! :D :D)

My mum has a Wii, and it's brilliant! Unfortunately I don't get to have a shot of it that often (too many people in the house that want to watch the telly or nieces/nephews wanting a go of it). But there's things from yoga, running, boxing, to more creative *exercises* like marching band(takes a lot of co-ordination), archery, shifting your weight to hit numbers to make a total number on the screen and hula hooping!(my favourite-where you get a score for how many spins you achieve). Those things unlock more games and game levels the more you do them. So they don't get boring! And when you make your little Mii person(that you can use in most of the games you play, and to keep your personal scores on things-and if others play the games and get highscores it can turn into a competition!), it will put you through body tests, and weigh you and give you a body ratio index thing.

The Wii Fit Plus also has features like a work out schedule thing to do (you pick upto 4 different games to do, that may be cardo stuff or stretching(yoga) or co ordinating or whatever the types are). I'm sure there's more games on there too.

I think all those things can motivate you to keep playing (well, exercising) when normally you'd wouldn't even start any exercises.

****Does not have shares in the Nintendo Wii company****

lahnna gives AWESOME advice. Listen to her.

Hahahaha that is a very serious and funny case of these days.i give you a tip and don't laugh just try it.give tension to your Gf he will be smart seriously.

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Originally Posted by tjchan76 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I love her. We're both in our late 20's. We've been together about 1.5 years, and it's VERY serious. I want to stay with her, and really can't see myself with anyone else. She is everything I want: mentally and emotionally healthy (zero mind games), no drama, gives me my space when I need it, not needy but not distant, likes sex, and just good all around. We have a very good relationship.

However, since we started dating, she has stopped exercising as much and started eating more. In fact, she's the type of girl who will eat anything and everything you put in front of her. She used to run 2 or 3 times a week, now she doesn't do it... EVER. She wasn't skinny when we first started dating, but she was definitely still fit and sexy. In the past year, it's really gotten bad. I notice her shirts are all fitting really tight and it almost looks like the chubbiness is trying to break out through the seams (kinda like muffintops?). When she sits, I see the buddha belly form, and her upper half is becoming more and more "barrel-shaped". Overall, it's not looking so pretty.

I noticed I've also been silently resenting her for it, and I hate that I feel that way because I love her so much and my thoughts are mean. I know, I know, if i REALLY loved her I wouldn't care what she looked like. That's bullshit, first of all. But anyway, I think one of the main reasons I'm unhappy is because she seemed to have stopped taking care of herself. It's almost like she doesn't care what I think of her anymore. Or maybe she's so comfortable having such a committed boyfriend, she feels it's safe to let it all go now. It's totally unfair. It's one thing if she has no control of what's happening, but it's another if it's happening because of her own negligence or laziness.

If I were truly shallow, I would've left her by now. I'm writing this because I really need help to stay in this relationship. I want to stay with her. But I also want her to look good. I've tried the whole doing activities together stuff. I've dropped big hints like, "Hey, I think we've both been eating really unhealthy, and we don't exercise as much..." She's not getting it. I've even tried taking up a sport that I know she enjoys, just so I can motivate her to do something. But nothing works. She simply doesn't want to exercise anymore. She doesn't want to run anymore because "it's not fun." Staying in shape takes a lot of work (I exercise 3-5 times per week, so I'm very fit and toned), and she simply doesn't want to do that work.

What can I do? I don't want to be the guy who makes an otherwise UN-selfconscious girl selfconscious. I don't want her to feel bad about herself. I don't want her to think I don't love her. I just want her to take care of herself again. For her and for me. I will never tell her she's fat or unattractive, because she's not. I will never tell her to go exercise if she doesn't want to, because she'll just end up resenting me for it. But I just don't want to have a fat girlfriend, and fat is where she's headed right now. I don't want to be the guy with the fat girlfriend, where everyone says behind his back, "Jeez, why is he dating her?" If she looked this way 1.5 years ago, I don't think I would have started dating her. It's just not my type, and I'm trying very hard to stay attracted.

Please help.

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Not trying to be rude here but Bingo. What you wrote in bold is how alot of women get once they're in a serious relationship.

I know this is in the ask a female forum but I feel compelled to reply. Good luck telling her that she's getting too fat. I think it might be a symptom of something else. Maybe she's suffering from depression. Have you noticed any other changes in her behavior? Like disturbances in her sleep cycle general apathy towards things she once enjoyed? Has she said anything that about feelings of hopelessness? I guess you have to try and look at the reason why she doesn't seem to care if she's getting fat instead of complaining about it because it may be a sign of something else going on

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I think it might be a symptom of something else.

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No, she's very healthy all around. Happy, outgoing, social. No depression or other psych disorders. I think it's just pure laziness. I mean, it makes sense, who really WANTS to exercise? Cardio is such a pain! But it's just not an excuse for me. And I'm finding it VERY difficult looking past it. I don't think she's "fat," but I do believe that she WILL be "fat" in a couple of months if she doesn't do anything about it now. This REALLY REALLY REALLY sucks. Ladies, please don't do this to your men. We're very simple creatures, and very much visually driven. So regardless of how connected we are emotionally or mentally, if you let yourself go, it'll be really hard for us to not look at other women.

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I would suggest getting a nintendo Wii, and Wii Fitness PLUS

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Not a bad idea... I'll have to look into this more. (I think it's going to take more than a video game to get her to slim down).

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Go work out too and take care of your own appearance. She would notice you are taking care of yourself and she would be pressured to do the same.

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I already do this. I have a cut and toned body, swim 2-3 times a week, and weight training 1-2 times per week. I have very low body fat, and am physically healthy all around.

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I applaud you for a well-thought out post, and your efforts to lead by example. That's far more than most guys I know would have done

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I'll be honest, I'm shocked that this forum has been as supportive and helpful as it has been. I was expecting a barrage of women calling me names for being so shallow and how I'm the reason for their weight/body image issues... blah blah blah. So, thank you all for your kind words and for taking the time to reply!

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I'll be honest, I'm shocked that this forum has been as supportive and helpful as it has been. I was expecting a barrage of women calling me names for being so shallow and how I'm the reason for their weight/body image issues... blah blah blah. So, thank you all for your kind words and for taking the time to reply!

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Your original post was very well-thought out and thorough. Had you come on here and said, "Help! Girlfriend is getting fat and I don't think I love her like I used to!" you would've gotten destroyed. BUT we can tell that you do truly care about her from the way you organized your post and provided us with all the information about your situation. You sound like a keeper, so I hope that your girl sees this. :)

If my boyfriend gained a lot of weight I wouldn't be as attracted to him either because that's not the body type I'm into. I think most people get that. Being willing to work with each other to have a healthy lifestyle and deeply fulfilling physical relationship is a part of love in my opinion.

Personally I think both men and women should WANT to be highly attractive to their partners. Again, just my opinion.

I think honesty is the best but women are all tending not wanting to hear sth about weight. Just tell her it's very unhealthy don't say she's fat. Because it shows that you care about her health, not about her physical appereance

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Originally Posted by tjchan76 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I think it's just pure laziness. I mean, it makes sense, who really WANTS to exercise? Cardio is such a pain! But it's just not an excuse for me. And I'm finding it VERY difficult looking past it. I don't think she's "fat," but I do believe that she WILL be "fat" in a couple of months if she doesn't do anything about it now. This REALLY REALLY REALLY sucks. Ladies, please don't do this to your men. We're very simple creatures, and very much visually driven. So regardless of how connected we are emotionally or mentally, if you let yourself go, it'll be really hard for us to not look at other women.

I already do this. I have a cut and toned body, swim 2-3 times a week, and weight training 1-2 times per week. I have very low body fat, and am physically healthy all around.

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tjchan76------It's not just laziness, but maybe she is also tired. I'm assuming you guys both work. It's tiring having to pack your gear and head to the gym after long day of work and pound on the treadmill. I say this because I do sports and midweek sports is a killer. You exercise quite a bit and sound really motivated. She isn't motivated and I would take her comments of "running isn't fun, my legs hurt etc" quite seriously. Running is hard on the knees, on the feet, even more so when you hate running. I'm guessing you have always been the sporty one in the relationship? She probably did a lot of sports in the beginning to hook you, but actually she isn't into sports. If she liked sports, you wouldn't have to push her. She'de go by herself. So now....well, you're seeing the real her.

I don't know. If it bothers you so much, then I reckon you'll have to say something. Just be nice about it.

It's true that girls are touchy about their appearance. My best friend suddenly went to the gym everyday and wouldn't eat. I was like, waah? She said that when she got out of bed one day, her boyfriend said that her butt cheeks were starting to hang. Horrid, horrid, horrid. I was forced to check out her butt (at her insistence). I told her she looked great, no cellulite. Maybe not as perky as a 16yr old butt, but great for her age. Did she believe me? No.

I'm not judging your distaste for her becoming overweight or anything, but seriously, I'd rather have a fat chick than a health nut.
Some women will actually refuse to go out and have a pizza on a Friday night, and would rather sit home and eat bread crumbs.

I lost almost 40 lbs since I divorced my ex-wife. I look and feel really fit right now. I try to look nice for my GF, but she told me my looks really don't matter to her. She likes me as a whole, and loves everything about me. I asked, what if I were 300 lbs....would you still have sex with me?
She answered, "ya, I'll just lift up your belly fat to give you head." hahahahahahah... I know if you love someone, you will love them no matter how they change. But they should be responsible and diligent enough to try to look attractive for you. The effort is extremely sexy.
If my woman turned 300 lbs due to medical condition, but she tries hard to lose the weight, I would be sooooo sexually turned on by her efforts.

I have the exact same problem as TJchan. I've been silently resenting my GF of 2 years bc of this. There are days when I decide I'm so inlove with her that I don't care what shape she is; but then there are more days when I just sit there and sulk when I see her eating anything she wants at 11:30pm, after supposedly "working out" at the gym (mainly consists of her sitting around chatting with her girlfriends). She goes to the gym 4-5 times per week, so she thinks she's healthy, but the reality is that she's not doing anything helpful while she's there. She's mainly there to socialize. Cardio is "work" for her, too, so she prefers not to do it. She'll lift some weights, do a couple of pull ups, and call it a night. I'd say her total *real* workout time per week is somewhere around 1 hour. Then somehow she deserves a full meal right after each session because of it. I've thought about saying something, but just can't bring myself to do it. I've read this post so many times (TJ: I'd love to hear an update!), hoping to get the courage to say something; but I just can't. I can't stand the thought of hurting her with this issue (she's 100% oblivious to it all).

Some of the ladies on this post say that girls KNOW when they've gained weight. I really really think it doesn't apply to my GF. She seems completely and utterly oblivious to the fact that she sometimes looks like she has boobs on her back when she wears her bra/shirt too tight. I have to type these harsh things out, bc otherwise it's really becoming bottled up and everyday is getting more difficult for me to fake being pleasant around her, as if nothing's on my mind, as if I don't have an issue with the fact that she's eating a burrito at midnight.

I've tried pretending that I'm having an issue with my own weight/eating habits. That doesn't work, bc she'll just look at me and tell me that I have body image issues and that I'm totally fit and fine and blah blah blah. She doesn't realize that I'm dropping all the hints in the world. In fact, I KNOW I'm fit, because I take VERY good care of myself. I do cardio 3-4 times a week (real cardio, where my shirt is soaked with sweat), and I lift weights. I know my body looks good, I don't have a problem with myself in anyway, but I'm pretending that I do to try to get her to join me in working out and eating more responsibly. Oh, that's another thing, she eats a salad for lunch every weekday, which makes her think that she's healthier than the average person (which I'm sure she is), but I think the salads won't counteract the fact that she's not doing any real exercise EVER. She's just not burning the calories she's taking in.

PLEEEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!

You can't do the "pretend" thing dude. She knows you look good already, That would come out with body image issues. Believe it or not, some girls tend to let themselves go once they think that they're taken. It seems that you're going to the gym together. I suggest that you be her gym partner instead of just letting her wander around. If possible, change gym schedules so that she'll have no one she knows while she's there, therefore there are no friends to talk to but you. I'm assuming she eats a lot of garbage if she's still munching at 11pm. That has to stop. Try making a program for her for compound exercises which would last for 45mins to an hour and tell her she just needs to do that for 3 times a week. Maybe that would make it look like less work for her.

By the way, you're in a pickle. If you do tell her about her weight, I'm sure she'll make you feel like you're an asshole inspite of your good intentions.

I have to admit, I kind of go for girls I know aren't going to put on weight because I don't think I'd handle this situation well at all.

just tell her she is unhealthy, you don't have to mention fat/weight. this word should be a scary word for men to ever utter. never do. you don't want to seem superficial (which of course you are but it's understandable). i don't know where you are in your relationship but if you plan on having kids then her fatty diet is not good for the future genes of the potential children. if she doesn't wise up and get healthy she is risking her future generations and that's not ok.

if anything that is a very valid excuse to mentioning the state of her body and health

i think he should just say, "you've put on some weight and I'm finding myself less attracted to you physically and I'm worried our relationship will suffer," or maybe put that in a text message? haha

What annoys me about women is that:

Skinny women will playfully tell you they look fat and they know they aren't.
Women who have put on weight know it for sure, but sometimes they don't do anything about it.
If you stay with a woman long enough to put on enough weight that she gets depressed, she starts blaming you for it.
And lastly, if you do or say anything, trying to encourage her to exercise and lose weight, she gets offended, because you're supposed to love every ounce (or ton) of her or she doesn't acknowledge that she is overweight.

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Originally Posted by Brick [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

She seems completely and utterly oblivious to the fact that she sometimes looks like she has boobs on her back when she wears her bra/shirt too tight.

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Point out someone else's backfat and tell her how gross it looks. Maybe she'll take a hint.

Do you eat late at night too? If you do, stop it. it's a really bad habit anyway, and maybe if you refuse to do it and tell her you heard it makes people fat, she'll have a moment of self-inspection and feel embarrassed.

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Originally Posted by Charlie Boy II [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

i think he should just say, "you've put on some weight and I'm finding myself less attracted to you physically and I'm worried our relationship will suffer," or maybe put that in a text message? haha

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I go for this approach..maybe not the text message part though!

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Originally Posted by doppelgaenger [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

What annoys me about women is that:

Skinny women will playfully tell you they look fat and they know they aren't.
Women who have put on weight know it for sure, but sometimes they don't do anything about it.
If you stay with a woman long enough to put on enough weight that she gets depressed, she starts blaming you for it.
And lastly, if you do or say anything, trying to encourage her to exercise and lose weight, she gets offended, because you're supposed to love every ounce (or ton) of her or she doesn't acknowledge that she is overweight.

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Ermmmmm, we dont all pass the buck.

HA! I've lost 10 lbs in the last few weeks and my boyfriend is sad because my boobs are smaller. Go figure. :P