Texting First.

I'm a female and am a believer that if a guy really likes a girl, then he will pursue her... so that being said I usually ALWAYS wait for a guy to initiate conversation.. as in even after the first time after getting my number, I wait for him to contact me first for every conversation. This is with every guy.

Does doing this show lack of interest? I act interested in convo, I just never initiate.
Should it be 50/50? As in he texts me first one day and I text him first the next time and so on and so on..

Thanks

Welcome to the 21st centry. I think that's a far too dated way IMO a HUGE lack of interest if you never ever decide to think of him and let him know 'first'.

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Originally Posted by girl68 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Welcome to the 21st centry. I think that's a far too dated way IMO a HUGE lack of interest if you never ever decide to think of him and let him know 'first'.

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Take this with a grain of salt. This is the woman who has sex with random friends and has 3,000 posts on a love forum.

She's also been having some problems with some of her T.P.S. reports.

It's nice to be wooed, but guys like to feel like a woman is reciprocating. It is like positive feedback in a way. "Oh, she called me! I must be doing something right." I'm not saying you should always do this. I think it takes a lot more effort for guys to become emotionally attached to a woman (yes, a generalization based on my experience with men), and allowing them to pursue gives them a healthy dose of the chase they seem to enjoy. The less serious guys fall by the wayside and you can make a better decision.

However, the need to be wooed also lies in the desire for attention. Some guys are just shy and may need some positive feedback from you to continue to pursue. If he feels like he's not affecting you enough to reciprocate a little, he may just ditch the whole effort.

And honestly, avoid texting at first. They're great for short little messages and updates, but texts are emotionless and become tiresome. They are easily misconstrued because everyone interprets them differently. If I call someone and they don't answer, I leave a voicemail specifically asking them to call me back. I feel a better connection when I can hear someone's voice.

*face palm* confused, is exactly what you are.

bell makes good points- receiprocation is always nice when you're having sex do you just lay there? "because the man should do all the work?"

I think making him initiate more than half of the time is a good guideline, but not EVERY time. That makes you look disinterested.

Thanks everyone!! I appreciate it

I think it's better to let the guy initiate most of the time - about 80%, for the first month or two. Otherwise we get blase because we think it's in the bag. Once you're both settled in a relationship it's fine to dop back to 50/50.

More subtle encouragement is fine to let him know you're interested at first. Just finishing a text message with something like "hopefully see you soon," for example.

He gets my number, then I await him calling and he does if he's interested.

I agree with CharlieBoy....let him be the main initiator for the first month or two and only initiate occasionally. You are reciprocating your interest and when you pick up his calls/answer a text.

Never ever show a guy more interest, than he's showing you

I also hate it to wait. sometimes I get so mad because you know, he's online and all the stuff and he does not text you. Before we [url=http://www.insiderdating.de/]date[/url] it was so different -.-

Basically,

You like him, you think he is gorgeous, YOU ASK HIM OUT

Your then more likely to find the men that are right for you because you can pick rather than them picking you and it not going to well.

If you're always waiting for him to initiate a conversation maybe he feels you're not interested in talking to him. Maybe he feels your feelings towards him are luke warm at best.
Start talking to him more, give him some incentive to pursue you further. Also its the 21st century its ok for a woman to pursue a guy

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Originally Posted by lahnnabell [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

It's nice to be wooed, but guys like to feel like a woman is reciprocating. It is like positive feedback in a way. "Oh, she called me! I must be doing something right." I'm not saying you should always do this. I think it takes a lot more effort for guys to become emotionally attached to a woman (yes, a generalization based on my experience with men), and allowing them to pursue gives them a healthy dose of the chase they seem to enjoy. The less serious guys fall by the wayside and you can make a better decision.

However, the need to be wooed also lies in the desire for attention. Some guys are just shy and may need some positive feedback from you to continue to pursue. If he feels like he's not affecting you enough to reciprocate a little, he may just ditch the whole effort.

And honestly, avoid texting at first. They're great for short little messages and updates, but texts are emotionless and become tiresome. They are easily misconstrued because everyone interprets them differently. If I call someone and they don't answer, I leave a voicemail specifically asking them to call me back. I feel a better connection when I can hear someone's voice.

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this is good advice too

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Originally Posted by loznaz18 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Basically,

You like him, you think he is gorgeous, YOU ASK HIM OUT

Your then more likely to find the men that are right for you because you can pick rather than them picking you and it not going to well.

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ahhahahahhahaha no

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ahhahahahhahaha no

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ahahahahahaahahhahah wtf

I used to think that *showing interest* was to ask out/make first move/start conversation,ect first. Basically because after getting NO attention from any guy for years, I was bored with it. I didn't realise that guys actually like it when you flirt with them! No wonder I wasn't paid attention to!

Sounds daft? If a guy you like has came to chat with you, it's gonna be exciting for him to see you with a big smile on your face the whole time, and you paying attention to him, keeping a good(but not scary) amount of eye contact and perhaps leaning in a little bit or touching his arm while he talks, sounding happy at what he says, ect. I didn't realise those things would be effective, til I thought of the opposite action. Looking depressed/bored, not really looking at them, keeping your distance, avoiding touch, not saying much in a dull tone of voice....for me that's when I realised how much stuff like initiating conversations and things didn't matter(men should be encouraged to do that stuff anyways!) I don't like dragging up the courage to call a guy, especially when they don't feel like talking. It feels a lot more fun just to be perky and flirty with a guy! lol.

So yeah, while it might seem that you're not interested if you don't call first or text first or start the conversation (though I guess you WOULD say hi to them in the street or something), it isn't if you flirt with them when you do have contact with them.

Damn I sound like the flirt ambassador or something.

Sooo funny story, someone got made at me cause I never initiate conversation. heh. Guess I should listen to some of you guys more.

The way I see, I think the guy should probably text first and whatever, (just because, that's kind of the thing I've been brought up to think by), but after a little while, it should be 50/50 I think. And that's not just texting, but for anything else, because you're both in the relationship together, as one, so it should shared, but that's what I think...

The way I see it is, generally, if you are thinking about the person and really want to talk to them then you should just send a text to them rather than waiting around for them to text you first instead.
Although, of course who wouldn't want to know and feel that a guy was thinking of you since he was the one that initiated the conversation?
And I'll be honest, I like to wait for my boyfriend to text me first every day but then there have been times where I have tortured myself waiting because I just wanted to talk to him but started growing impatient. For the majority of the texts that are sent between my boyfriend and I they are usually initiated by him. But, there have been a few times where I initiated the texting and I can tell that he was flattered or excited that I did because he enthusiastically replied.
Basically, everyone likes and wants to feel wanted by someone else so it shouldn't really be expected as to who should text first. If you really care about someone and really want to talk to them then there's nothing wrong with sending the first text. I am sure every once in a while a guy would be flattered to know that someone was thinking of them first just like we like to know they were thinking of us. It can be a bit reassuring for a guy too.