sex and speaking?

Alright men, I would like a little help on my boyfriend. My boyfriend and I have recently began being sexually active with each other and everything is going wonderfully, except that he says I am being too shy still. Natuarally yes I am very shy but he has made a major improvement on that. For example a problem' the other day during sex I was enjoying myself but wasn't saying much so he asked why and I said I dont really know what to say and he told me to not be shy and say anything. What exactly do men want a women to say during sex?

So being non verbal during sex, means you are shy? Uhm...I don't think so. I tend to let my actions do the talking, rather than be verbal. Shy I am not....I'm too nice to be verbal and I never had a guy try to force me into being verbal either and make out there was something wrong with me if I didn't and wasn't.

Are you shy to the point where you're not moaning or showing him that you're enjoying yourself? Do you just lie there? 'Cause that can make for some very boring sex.

LOL^

Indeed and if you are just lying there like a wax work dummy, it might not be much fun for him.

how about and "yeah.." "feels so good" "oh good" "mmm I like that".

I am in my eyes not making as much moaning as he may like, but I am also new to being sexually active so am still learning. But one thing I never wanted to be like is a dead starfish just laying there during it so I have been the one of top before and when he is on top I run my hands all over him, pull him closer, etc, I usually am quieter because I am alittle bit more shy, which I will work on.

It can be daunting to try to verbalize your feelings. Once you get over the hump (hehe), you'll be fine. I'm still gradually working towards getting naughtier with my guy. He's afraid of saying or doing something that will offend me. I'm taking it in baby steps. It's more fun to take it slow anyway :)

Eww. I find actual talking during sex (at least during the peak of pleasure) to be extremely distracting and annoying. I might even find it so annoying that I'd be tempted to tape his mouth shut. haha

Sounds of pleasure = good.
Sounds of someone who can't shut the fcuk up = very, very bad.

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Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Eww. I find actual talking during sex (at least during the peak of pleasure) to be extremely distracting and annoying. I might even find it so annoying that I'd be tempted to tape his mouth shut. haha

Sounds of pleasure = good.
Sounds of someone who can't shut the fcuk up = very, very bad.

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Depends on what is being said....I don't want to hear about her day but if she is saying something dirty to me thats fine....as long as it isn't weird.

Haha, who the hell talks about what they had for lunch during sex?

Dunno, I mght want to talk about lunch and if he's a boring shag....lols

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Originally Posted by dewilliams2 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Depends on what is being said....I don't want to hear about her day but if she is saying something dirty to me thats fine....as long as it isn't weird.

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Yeah, you guys are a bunch of kinky mo-fos. Plus, it doesn't take all that much effort to get you off. Women are more complicated. We don't need the distraction.

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Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Yeah, you guys are a bunch of kinky mo-fos. Plus, it doesn't take all that much effort to get you off. Women are more complicated. We don't need the distraction.

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Yea...it is a little more difficult to get a woman off...that is why its also nice to hear...right there, don't stop...I know I'm in the ballpark.

Hmmmm. I love dirty talk during sex but none of my partners have ever participated back in any meaningful way. They've enjoyed it, but I've always gotten the impression that men can't concentrate on more than one thing (speaking vs. f**king) at the same time. Kinda like "system overload" hahaha.

If were having a really intense/fast/angry session then i love to talk dirty and for him to, but only along the lines of "harder" "faster" "oh yeh" "fcuk me" (you get the idea!!) I dont want to actually have to put effort into saying something or listening, my efforts at that time are going somewhere else!!

You should only do what you feel comfortable with, and I think it's kind of harsh of him to pressure you a bit. I mean, it's great to communicate and maybe he just wants to know you're enjoying it, but everybody is different and if you're not loud during sex then you're just not and that's ok.

I agree. ^

And if she's doing anything other than what she is comfortable with, then she's putting on an act and to keep him happy.

Try farting during sex.

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Originally Posted by hurt_confuzd [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Try farting during sex.

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I laughed for weeks!...guess I just poked it outta her.

I actually remember when I was about 21 I was dating an older women who wanted me to talk dirty during sex. I just had no f-cking idea what I was supposed to say

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Originally Posted by Charlie Boy II [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I actually remember when I was about 21 I was dating an older women who wanted me to talk dirty during sex. I just had no f-cking idea what I was supposed to say

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If you need to put any thought into it, then you shouldn't even bother.

I feel cheesy trying to verbalize all those cliche things.

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Originally Posted by Charlie Boy II [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I actually remember when I was about 21 I was dating an older women who wanted me to talk dirty during sex. I just had no f-cking idea what I was supposed to say

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Whatever comes out naturally is what you should say, don't think about it. Although I do worry that sometimes what comes out of my mouth will get me into trouble. I don't know that all women like what I have to say during sex....its not things I would actually say to them or even mean if I wasn't in the moment.

I said when I was 21. I'm 27, I know how to talk dirty.

I have to say, that one thing I hate is a 'quiet' guy. One who doesn't even make a murmur....lol. It makes me wonder and whether he is enjoying himself or not, or that I'm not doing something right. My last ex was like this. I mean I don't expect him to be porno explicit, but a noise might be nice.

I have a guy friend who also happens to be an extremely annoying hypochondriac. He is a "one night stand" non-committing sort of guy. Anyway, he told me that one night he was out and ended up talking this girl home. He finds out during this processes that she is a pharmacist and he tells me they actually discussed the side effects of his medication during sex. HAHA~ I told him I bet that girl went home and laughed about him and told all her friends about the "weirdo" she went home with. The sad thing is, I know him enough to believe the story.

You can only be yourself during sex as long as you show him whether or not you're enjoying it! Guys need to know if you're enjoying it. Try telling him the things you like such as "that feels nice there", "let's try this". I know you're new to this as you said so just experiment. When you first become sexually active sex is all about experimenting until you find what you both like. Have fun and don't be afraid to moan if it feels good!

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Originally Posted by xxazurexx [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

It makes me wonder and whether he is enjoying himself or not, or that I'm not doing something right.

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Wow, I feel self-centered now. I have to say I have never actually wondered that until (maybe) afterwards. During the moment, I don't really think about him at all. lol

Thanks for the advice, I think he finds it odd that i am quiet during sex because all the other time I am outgoing and outspoken. One other reason I am quiet is because I like to hear him make his noises that show he is enjoying himself, it well make me even more excited. But he isnt forcing me into anything, I do not let my men push me around ;).

I can not speek for all men, however, I love it when the women tell me what to do. Maybe he is asking you to be more asertive? Give it a try.

Guys like to hear things that either let them know we're doing a good job or hints/commands on what would make our work more appreciated. If I were you start off with just giving little hints at what you'd like, no need to be explicit or loud at first. "Slower", "deeper", "that's good", etc. Once you're comfortable with that you may find yourself saying other things, who knows.

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Originally Posted by 60mm [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Guys like to hear things that either let them know we're doing a good job or hints/commands on what would make our work more appreciated. If I were you start off with just giving little hints at what you'd like, no need to be explicit or loud at first. "Slower", "deeper", "that's good", etc. Once you're comfortable with that you may find yourself saying other things, who knows.

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This...+ moaning or some deep breathing.