Ejaculation Probs

I have been dating this girl for about 7 months now and love her very much, she means alot to me in this world and I treat her with alot of respect. But I have one small problem or shall I say common problem with quite alot of males; "I sometimes find it hard to ejaculate during sex or love making" And this completely upsets her and she thinks by me not coming I dont find her attractive during sex/love making, which is not true at al, because I honestly do love her very much and she means alot to me in my heart and if I didnt like her, than I would of dumped her long time ago. She even mentioned to me once that she doesnt want to have sex with me anymore because it upsets her when I dont come.

There is a famous saying that goes "it takes two to tango", meaning during sex/love making both parties have to do their thing and also before sex to me foreplay is very important and this means on both sides, her and me. But sadly to say before we make love or have sex I will 90% of the time do foreplay on her to stimulate her and get her ready, than get into it, but not the other way around where she would stimulate me i.e so both of us a fired up and ready to make love, seems to be a one way thing. Anyhow during sex she will come in within 3 mins or so, leaving me still going at it untill my time runs out because during intercourse the male has a certain time period before he ejaculates and I end up becoming soft again.

I know as fact she loves me alot as she tells me that everyday in her sms's and I do love as well.

Questions

1. Is this cause by lack of stimulation from her side to me ?

2. Will having more sex often help me with this scenario i.e will help me come quicker ?

3. Is she being selfish ?

4. What can I do to mke her want to have sex and give me a fair go.

Thanks

i'd honestly get a professional opinion

i think that she should pay more attention to you to turn you on.... give you a little strip show, tease you, give you oral until you feel like you can both have sex and orgasm either together or her then you. she's being selfish but don't hold it against her, just think of different ways to involve both of you in foreplay.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by kitkitkitty [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

i think that she should pay more attention to you to turn you on.... give you a little strip show, tease you, give you oral until you feel like you can both have sex and orgasm either together or her then you. she's being selfish but don't hold it against her, just think of different ways to involve both of you in foreplay.

---

ughm, i am sorry, why should girls work extra hard if a guy can't keep it up? i say take Viagra.

she should at least try. if she's getting most of the foreplay attention it's not gona help. but yeah, if they try that and it's still the same then its a different story.

i wonder is she is attractive enough for him to get a hard on and sustain it...

Perhaps if you are giving her lots of oral she's going to come quick. So how about easing off on the oral which might give you more time to come? Or talk to her and explain that more foreplay from her might help. My fiancee only gives me oral when I kind off insist that she does so you are not alone in giving more than you receive. Good luck.

7 months.... that's still the honeymoon period right?
and ive heard some stories about viagra gone wrong... they had a heart attack cos their heart was beating too fast and stuff o_0

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Sonrisa [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

ughm, i am sorry, why should girls work extra hard if a guy can't keep it up? i say take Viagra.

---

haha your soo funny, whose the one doing all the hard work me, ohhhhhhh pls give me a break.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Sonrisa [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

i wonder is she is attractive enough for him to get a hard on and sustain it...

---

Yes and I love her heaps, bu looks arent everything

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Albinoni [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Yes and I love her heaps, bu looks arent everything

---

then unfortunately, young man, the problem lies within you. get yourself tested and fixed.

It's called performance anxiety. You focus so much on ejaculating that you don't enjoy it. It's related to anxiety.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Raze [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

It's called performance anxiety. You focus so much on ejaculating that you don't enjoy it. It's related to anxiety.

---

this is true. maybe he's too intent on pleasing her and needs to concentrate on relaxing a bit more?

Correct. That's the cure to performance anxiety. Talk to your doctor. He might be able to help you out. He might recommend therapy or prescribe anti-depressants to help with your anxiety. I would try to avoid taking medication though, especially anti-depressants. Anti-depressants have some nasty side effects (being that I take anti-depressants, I can say this with all honesty). That should be a last resort.

maybe because you've been in such a pattern you've built it up in your head that you HAVE to satisfy her and only her the whole time? is this one of your first proper relationships? maybe you're scared of letting her down and are trying too hard.

How old are you? How long can you stay hard? How long does it take you to cum on your own?...can you?

Usually when I first meet a woman I'm so turned on by the new experience that I stay hard even after I come and as soon as the sensitivity leaves I'm ready to go again...but I'm also 23, have a good diet, am in pretty good health.

I mean yea I have to be ready to go...as others have mentioned she should do something for you...but it shouldn't take as much effort to get you to go off as you have to give her. Not all women orgasm that easy....takes more work to get them there.

If she's going to orgasm that quickly after you enter her, then you guys should be engaging in mutual foreplay activities, like 69ing. This will give you a chance to build toward your orgasm so you guys can be on the same page during intercourse.

If she doesn't want to engage in foreplay for your sake, then she's being selfish and I'm not sure what else you can do from there. If she cares about you like you say she does, then she'll meet you half way on this.

[QUOTE= Not all women orgasm that easy....takes more work to get them there.[/QUOTE]

lahnnabell, this is what we need! more of this!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by kitkitkitty [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

7 months.... that's still the honeymoon period right?
and ive heard some stories about viagra gone wrong... they had a heart attack cos their heart was beating too fast and stuff o_0

---

No, they didn't.

original poster - if you are in the habit of masturbating, knock it off. It will desensitize you. Also, are you taking any medications, or do you have any chronic medical issues such as diabetes or hypertension? Do you take any antidepressants or other medications?

Look at it this way.. Is it better to have trouble ejaculating than ejaculation too soon? :)

Don't forget there's more to sex than just simply thrusting in and out.. Explore her body and kiss her neck etc.. Send her through the roof in ecstasy and who knows.. Maybe the sight of her getting tons of pleasure will ease the pressure off you and allow you to actually ejaculate!

Good luck and enjoy!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Sonrisa [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

then unfortunately, young man, the problem lies within you. get yourself tested and fixed.

---

No your wrong here for sure, the prob does not lie within me at all, reasons:

1. When I had sex with my previous gf I could ejaculate, say within 4 mins or so, but than again then there was 4play involved as well, with my new gf now there is bugger all, its me that does all the 4play and work. Remember the famous saying "it takes two to Tango"

2. I have ejaculated before with her for sure, me having probs ejaculating does not happen all the time and there has been times where I can do it when I make love to her.

3. I do and can ejaculate when I masturbate.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by kitkitkitty [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

maybe because you've been in such a pattern you've built it up in your head that you HAVE to satisfy her and only her the whole time? is this one of your first proper relationships? maybe you're scared of letting her down and are trying too hard.

---

1. No I had a serious relationship with another girl back in 1998, but since than till now I have never had a serious gf at all. I have been out with women as freinds eg to lunch, movies etc etc but only on a friendship basis.

2. Perhaps I am trying to hard to pls her instead of relaxing.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by dewilliams2 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

How old are you? How long can you stay hard? How long does it take you to cum on your own?...can you?

Usually when I first meet a woman I'm so turned on by the new experience that I stay hard even after I come and as soon as the sensitivity leaves I'm ready to go again...but I'm also 23, have a good diet, am in pretty good health.

I mean yea I have to be ready to go...as others have mentioned she should do something for you...but it shouldn't take as much effort to get you to go off as you have to give her. Not all women orgasm that easy....takes more work to get them there.

---

1. I am 43

2. For quite a while, I dont have a prob staying hard at all.

3. On my own lets say about 3 to 4 mins, yes can come for sure.

For me, it depends on the girl. Some girls are just not very good at pleasing men. Maybe, she just isn't a good sexual pleaser and she needs to work on it some more. I can safely say that not every girl has been able to make me cum.

Well if she isn't doing something you like have you tried talking to her about it? I mean suggestions don't hurt. I always ask the woman I am with what she likes, wants, what feels good...after we try something we talk about it and what we liked, if something should be changed....communication.

I mean tell her what you would like....don't get upset if she doesn't want to do it...move onto the next thing you would like.

Perhaps she is just inexperienced.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by dewilliams2 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Well if she isn't doing something you like have you tried talking to her about it? I mean suggestions don't hurt. I always ask the woman I am with what she likes, wants, what feels good...after we try something we talk about it and what we liked, if something should be changed....communication.

I mean tell her what you would like....don't get upset if she doesn't want to do it...move onto the next thing you would like.

Perhaps she is just inexperienced.

---

Also, girls get upset if they don't make a guy cum... like really upset. The girls I was with before my current gf would get upset at the fact that they just couldn't make me cum. They blamed me for it.. Oh, you don't think I'm attractive blablabla.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Raze [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Also, girls get upset if they don't make a guy cum... like really upset. The girls I was with before my current gf would get upset at the fact that they just couldn't make me cum. They blamed me for it.. Oh, you don't think I'm attractive blablabla.

---

Yea I have heard that to...I take a long time anyways. I like it and all...it just takes me awhile to cum. I don't know why...but some women get irritated.

Maybe you guys should find partners that like longer sessions? Surely there are plenty of them out there....

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Maybe you guys should find partners that like longer sessions? Surely there are plenty of them out there....

---

It usually isn't that big of a problem. My current gf got kind of upset and thought it was her and said that she felt inadequate or like she wasn't doing it right...she also said that I didn't find her attractive. We talked about it though and now that she does understand it is me she is understanding. I mean she finishes quick if foreplay is involved....like 3-4 minutes. I can get her off on average about 4 times every time we have sex....usually only once orally.

But she returns the favor. She understand it takes me longer and she is not stingy with the blowjobs.

It works out fine. Once she understood it she felt good about herself again.

Takes me a while too. She usually just can't wait for it to happen and it builds up to the point where it is amazing when I do. Heh.

Seriously? No foreplay NO WONDER you can't jizz. She should feel inadequate- if she's your age how the HELL did she get by life with no foreplay?

Am I right to say that it needs to built up?

Also, I have an idea. Recommend that she teases you more. This is what I told my gf that I needed to be teased.

tease is foreplay, if there's none of that she's not doing her job, at all.