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There was this girl I liked, me and her would talk every day. The second she met my best friend, she just went for him and ignored me ever since. This was 3 years ago, and it still haunts me. It depresses me and gives me anxiety attacks and I don't know the true reason why.
What do you mean it haunghts you?
If you feel rejected, its normal. To be troubled for three years, points to a self-esteem issue. You must realize that just because she rejected you, you are still a great person worthy of all you seek and desire. Love yourself despite what others think or if they accept you. ALso, respect her right to choose who she wants to be with. If it is not you, it does not make you a lesser person. Just find someone else more compatible.
Are they still together? If so it's not so bad. Just understand with love sometimes people get stung along the way. Respect that they met and have a fulfilling relationship, it really isn't anything personal. Now if your best friend swooped in and took the girl of your dreams away from you I think that isn't the case. She would have to have feelings for you. If your still mad for your friend stepping in the way of your interest then talk to him. But unfortunately with love the connection has to be mutual. I had a crush on a girl that ended up dating my team mate in college. He knew I liked her but so did he. She liked him, not me. So in the end as hard as it was I had to accept it and move on. They ended up getting married so in the end it was right. Yes it stung and hurt my ego but I believe the right girl will come my way, and when she does all the pain and heartache will melt away and have been worth it. Talk to your friend and see what he says. But if they are still together it's because it works for them. It isn't that you were not good enough for her. You just weren't the one for her.
and watch 500 days of Summer
I know I'm supposed to let it go and move on, but I just can't. I've been shot down in almost every way possible. Yet my friend gets this girl for free, even though had a bf during that time. They met online, and she actually flies down here to the U.S. to see him. Seeing her in person almost makes my heart stop. It's too much. This feels like the harshest punishment to me.Quote:
Originally Posted by SealedWithAKISS [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
You're punishing yourself. She's not into you. Point blank. A 3 year hang up on a girl you never even dated is a VERY SERIOUS PROBLEM. You've been obsessing about this chick for 3 years. I think you need counseling man.
I already have counseling. I think getting rid of myself is the better solution. Every single time I get near a girl, she goes for one of my ****ing friends. I'm done. I'm done with the "mystery" of women, and I'm done with being alive. I don't care for life and never did.
Edit: Also, I think I need to never see my best friend again.
Edit2: Look at me, I'm a 20 year old virgin. Never had a gf. I'm the most pathetic waste of space I've ever seen.
Stop being a drama queen dude. And enough with the pity party, the only way your situation is going to get any better is if YOU make the effort to change things. You say you've been trying to change things? Well, time to try something different. You can start with your self esteem issues. Seems to be the root of your problem.
Being 20 years old and being a virgin isn't a reason to off yourself. You have to stop beating yourself up over it. I'm sure you probably even publicly bash yourself in front of these girls you are trying to impress. If you don't believe in yourself, these girls certainly won't. They want to be with somebody who has some self worth, takes care of himself because if he can do that, he can take care of her.
I know we are all taught we are who we are and they should love who we are, but that doesn't mean you can't improve yourself. Could you get into better shape? Could you work harder at your job and school? Could you organize your time better so you can fit more into your day and put yourself in the position to meet more people? Yes, you could. So stop trying so much to get with somebody and focus more on yourself. It's funny how they come to us when we aren't looking.
I'm not trying to be pessimistic or a "drama queen". I don't want to off myself because I am a 20-year-old-virgin, I want to because I find life itself pointless. Everyone thinks life is just some preplanned thing with destiny. It is not. Also, no girl ever liked me. Ever. Regardless of confidence. I just happen to be that one-in-a-million guy that no kind of girl would go for.
First off, don't do anything stupid. Especially something you can't take back. You really need to work on yourself self-esteem. Go workout, try a different haircut, change your clothing style a bit. Do stuff that makes you happy! What your posting here shows you lack confidence, which is one of the major things women think about when they first meet you. Three years? Move on, she's not the love of your life. Your swooning and sulking over this girl is ruining every chance you have with any other girl (You may not even notice someone right in front of you). Be happy with yourself, GIRLS LOVE THAT!
I certainly feel bad for you man if this is your view of life. Just because you haven't had any luck so far, doesn't mean life is pointless. If you certainly feel like you live a pointless life, it's time to find some meaning. There is so much to do out there and while it may be tough now at 20 years old, if you pursue something you enjoy doing to the point where you can sustain yourself off of that kind of work, I think a bunch of doors will open up for you. Sitting around and sulking and complaining is something to do but it doesn't really get you anywhere. You are in the entire control of where you go in life, and you are the only one that can make it happen.
One in a million guy that nobody would go for? You know how many jerks and dicks that are your age that girls are tired of already? I think you might look a little better in comparison. Maybe not if you are this "Woe is me, life is stupid" kind of person, but you just have to find it within you to stick to something and keep going. We all have issues, we all have problems but you will run into somebody that you can find something with and truly appreciate them being there. How you deal with those problems, how happy you are as a person, how much you are willing to give will really set the tone for how long you can spend with somebody. Don't you want to be ready for when it happens?
Life isn't pointless. Sure life has it's shitty moments, it's filled with tragedy, but there are also those great days, where everything works out and you just gotta sit back and realize how beautiful everything is. Not many people think life is preplanned, at least, I don't. You chose you're own path. Right now, you're choosing to be super depressed and go around without meaning to your life. Only you can change that, and you really should.Quote:
Originally Posted by Arcanide [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Get involved, volunteer, and try stuff out of your normal routine. Spice shit up. Life really is beautiful, you just need to be able to see it.
For you maybe.Quote:
Originally Posted by Teddy057 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Sorry, I had to.
You know what? Yeah, I'll work on myself, but I'll only work on that. I'm done with the "love game". I'll never ever ask anyone out. They can come to me instead, which I highly doubt will happen. I don't fear the consequences of this.
You make it sounds like you're in some kind of competition or at a market bargaining over a watermelon :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Arcanide [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
This mindset will not work well for you
You're just hurting yourself. Remember, life is what you make it. Life's not going to feel sorry for you, in fact, it doesn't give a shit. Sometimes you need to go out and find what you want and make it yours. Or, you can keep living in this bubble of self-pity you're portraying. That won't get you anywhere though.Quote:
Originally Posted by Arcanide [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Funny you should say that, because life also doesn't care if I go sell drugs and go house to house removing people's heads with crowbars.
You owe it to yourself to work on something! You've gotten some good advice on here, your life will never be better until you do things to try to make it better. Nothing worth doing is easy and for you right now, it's not easy to try to be positive or do something that doesn't align with your general attitude that life sucks. I get it! You're in a rut right now, but you gotta dig yourself out.Quote:
Originally Posted by Arcanide [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
As for being a 20 year-old virgin, who cares!! Everyone takes things at their own pace - there is no right or wrong way to do anything. You're only 20, you've got years to figure out what life is all about. I guarantee you that in the next 20 years, you'll look back at this stage in your life and realize what a small, passing phase it was.
True, but you know what, the LAW cares.Quote:
Originally Posted by Arcanide [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Not if I end myself in the process. They won't put a dead body in prison.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bella82 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]