A painting that made me feel uneasy....

Quick background. Met a girl on eHARMONY about 5 1/2 weeks ago. Very strong so far, very. We are 100% open, honest, and ourselves around each other. Things have just been unbelievable, never really met someone who I can be myself completely, and the same with her. So she's spent the night a handful of times at my place (it's easier for her in the morning with work, then me going to her place).

Last night, was the first time I spent the night at her place. I walked into her bedroom, and saw this huge painting of a naked lady over the bed. I asked "What is that?" and she said "That's me." I was immediately creeped out. I just saw Titanic the movie a few weeks ago, and it reminded me of that. A little background: She was with a guy 5 years, they were engaged, and he is an artist. I am not sure how long ago that ended, I want to say maybe 2 years ago. But I guess he painted that picture of her, and to be honest, I can't recall being that uncomfortable in a long time. Why? I don't really know. I never really brought this up to her yet. I told her when I woke up this morning that I had a horrible night sleep, bad dreams, and today was an off day. She made me breakfast, comforted me, and I told her if I can organize and rationalize whats on my mind, I might share. I don't like holding anything back, as that is not me. But I am not sure what to think. Some would look at it as an innocent painting I am sure. Any input? This being blown out of proportion?

I don't think you're uncomfortable with the painting I think you're uncomfortable that some dude saw her naked and she posed for him long enough to paint it.

I think you should get the **** over it, man. Don't talk about it or anything. Just get over it.

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Originally Posted by Gribble [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I think you should get the **** over it, man. Don't talk about it or anything. Just get over it.

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Great advice, thanks :sad2:

It's your weird obsession. You describe something like Poe would write.. I half expect you to stare at it for hours on end before bursting into the bedroom to stab the damn painting to pieces.

@ Gribble - you're thinking of Oscar Wilde. ;)

I agree with Girl68's post - imho you're likely crepped out that you're confronted with the fact that she was a sexual being before meeting you. It's a polite fiction that people often engage in, but you can't even subconsciously pretend otherwise.

First response is to try and ignore it.

Second, if it really is a good painting, then admire it and your potential lover.

-PP

I'm thinking of the Telltale Heart. Poe.

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Originally Posted by Poetic_Partner [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

@ Gribble - you're thinking of Oscar Wilde. ;)

I agree with Girl68's post - imho you're likely crepped out that you're confronted with the fact that she was a sexual being before meeting you. It's a polite fiction that people often engage in, but you can't even subconsciously pretend otherwise.

First response is to try and ignore it.

Second, if it really is a good painting, then admire it and your potential lover.

-PP

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You are probably right. I guess it's part of life, each day we encounter things that we've never encountered before, faced with situations that are new. This is definitely one of them.

You've only known her five and a half weeks and already you are chewing over stuff that happened in the past.

Get over it, or set her free to find a guy who doesn't whinge at the least little thing.

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Originally Posted by xxazurexx [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

set her free to find a guy who doesn't whinge at the least little thing.

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Didn't know it was a little thing, guess I overlooked something.

Who "whinging?" I came on here, and posted an issue I had, and wanted to see if it was legit. You come on here, and degrade. I'm sorry I'm not that Casanova you thought I was. What say you?

You have every right to feel uncomfortable gizbug. But realize, from what i know, she no longer sees the guy anymore. He's out of her life except through that painting and maybe smaller memoirs. I live with the philosophy of never hate anything that made you smile once. She might be practicing that philosophy. Realize, the girl is into you. Not him anymore. A 5 year relationship is a big part of anyone's life. I would say once you reach a particularly high comfort level with her, then you can question it. We're talking you've been dating for quite a while and are a significant part of her life. My 2 cents.

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Originally Posted by latinking101 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You have every right to feel uncomfortable gizbug. But realize, from what i know, she no longer sees the guy anymore. He's out of her life except through that painting and maybe smaller memoirs. I live with the philosophy of never hate anything that made you smile once. She might be practicing that philosophy. Realize, the girl is into you. Not him anymore. A 5 year relationship is a big part of anyone's life. I would say once you reach a particularly high comfort level with her, then you can question it. We're talking you've been dating for quite a while and are a significant part of her life. My 2 cents.

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Latinking: Thanks for a rational approach at the situation. I think I was looking at the painting in the wrong light. More of she posing naked for a painting. Again, something new to me. I guess she must appreciate the picture for her, and not the person who painted it. I am sure she loves the picture, because it captures her. I should be happy I am with her now, and not look at it as something that occurred in the past. Again, I said nothing when I said it, because I needed time to reflect, maybe as a 3rd person view, on it, and come to my own conclusion. I am glad I didn't say anything at that momemt, because it might have come off as irrational. But after time to think about it, I think I blew it out of porportion in my mind. Thanks again.

I have a few paintings of naked women.

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Originally Posted by doppelgaenger [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I have a few paintings of naked women.

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I bet you do (smile)

anytime. glad i could help :)

It sounds like you have a better idea of why you felt the way you did when you saw it. I think the main idea here is that it's a picture that was done way before you two met, which she likes enough to hang in her bedroom.. I know it's easy for us to say it's nothing to worry about it, because we aren't you, but from an outsider's perspective I don't see any problem at all with it. I completely agree with being honest, I'm in a relationship where we both tell each other everything, and it's great, but I think you definitely made a smart move by not bringing it up before you were sure of why it made you feel uncomfortable.

It sounds like the both of you are very open-minded and understanding, but it doesn't do either any good if one of you can't express exactly how you feel. It's best to wait, and maybe you'll decide you want to bring it up later, or not at all because it isn't an issue.

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Originally Posted by gizbug [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Last night, was the first time I spent the night at her place. I walked into her bedroom, and saw this huge painting of a naked lady over the bed. I asked "What is that?" and she said "That's me." I was immediately creeped out.

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I agree with Gizbug, this is a bit weird.

Personally, I'm not a whinger and I respect that everyone has had past partners and that's fine. But seeing a huge naked painting of a girl I'm dating in her bedroom would definetly turn me off. First thoughts I'd have is "Lesbo". Then after she explained this is her, my second thoughts would be "Narcissist", I'd wonder if she's of variety who gets off admiring herself in the mirror during sex. Then after she'd explain this was done by some ex she was with for 5 years, my thoughts would be "well she's obviously not over him" and I would put some serious thought into whether I should continue this affair.

So there's absolutely nothing wrong with Gizbug feeling squimish about the whole thing. And honestly, I don't have a good advice on this. You're damned if you do, you're damned if you don't. If you tell her you may come off as insensitive and selfish, if you don't tell her this thing is going to bother you. But on the other hand if you tell her and she ignores what you say, then you are left with a choice to accept or forfeit. It's a sensitive situation, good luck with whichever decision you make!

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Originally Posted by Mishanya [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I agree with Gizbug, this is a bit weird. First thoughts I'd have is "Lesbo". Then after she explained this is her, my second thoughts would be "Narcissist", I'd wonder if she's of variety who gets off admiring herself in the mirror during sex. Then after she'd explain this was done by some ex she was with for 5 years, my thoughts would be "well she's obviously not over him" and I would put some serious thought into whether I should continue this affair.

And honestly, I don't have a good advice on this. You're damned if you do, you're damned if you don't.

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I disagree here. From this point of view the girl is the one who's screwed no matter what because it seems you've already formed this opinion of her and why she would have that picture on her wall. Why not commit yourself to being open-minded to her answer when you ask about the painting? If you're not prepared to do that, don't bother asking... !

I might have a naked pic of me done and hang it on my wall :)

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Originally Posted by Bella82 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I disagree here. From this point of view the girl is the one who's screwed no matter what because it seems you've already formed this opinion of her and why she would have that picture on her wall.

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I don't understand what you disagree with here. You disagree with people forming opinions on wierd behaviour of other people?

Well then I disagree with your disagreement