Told a friend I like her...

I told a friend of mine I like her, and that I would love nothing more, than to get to know her better. I told her that I've liked her for a long time now, and that I couldn't keep these feelings all to myself anymore...

She said she doesn't feel the same way, but hopes that she didn't hurt me. She also said that she had started seeing someone recently, and that she would like to see where that goes. I told her that I'm fine, and that we should carry on as if this didn't happen, and she agreed.

However, today in class, I proceeded to talk to her, and she couldn't even look me in the eyes while she's talking to me. Before this happened, we never broke eye contact while talking to one another. I just can't stand seeing her like this, much less knowing that I could have caused her to feel this way. Is she feeling guilty now?? I didn't want to do this to her, it looks like it's bothering her, and that's bothering me. I feel a lot better now that I have confessed my feelings to her, but she's become pretty damn distant over the last few days.

I think it would be best if I just stop talking to her alltogether for a while. I won't ignore her, but I won't be the one starting the conversations, even if that means she never speaks to me again.

What do you ladies think? Is there a chance that she may come around eventually? If so, what do I need to do in order to accompish that?

Thanks :)

No she's not feeling guilty, she is feeling uncomfortable in your presence and knowing what she knows now.

I think I'd just give her a little space for a while

this has happened to me a few times. I'd be friends with a guy, we'd get close and I'd enjoy the friendship, and then suddenly he'd drop the whole "I like you!" bomb on me. it completely turned me off! suddenly I felt all this pressure and it was uncomfortable, and an awkward conversation always followed. then we'd try to go back to being friends, but I felt guilty and I'm sure the guy felt embarrassed, too. what always works is try not talking for awhile! how long have you guys been friends, and how long have you liked her? if you haven't liked her too long, you should be able to get over it pretty quick. try hanging out with some other friends and focusing on other things, and in awhile when you feel the awkwardness has faded, you two can become friends again. she'll have had her time to herself and will probably miss having you around! trust me, it's happened to me too many times ;)

I think this applies to just about any uncomfortable situation between two people. Back off and give her time to forget about it. Leave her alone altogether and amuse yourself with other friends and activities. If she does look your way, be neutral or smile but that's all. Let her be the one to want to patch up the friendship. She will, eventually.

And don't ever drop the "I like you" bomb on anyone, it turns too many women off. There are more subtle, playful, and flirtatious ways of getting that message across!

I've exhausted all other options. I've asked her to hang out, and she's cancelled on me. One day, I just snapped and decided I couldn't do this anymore, so I confessed. I've felt a lot better about myself ever since, but now things have gotten awkward even though we said we'd put this behind us and try to carry on with our friendship as it is. Normally when a girl does this to me, I just move on, but I want to keep this one around.

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Originally Posted by googeter [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Normally when a girl does this to me, I just move on, but I want to keep this one around.

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Why?
For me, it is impossible to be friends with someone I have feelings for. Because they will come back.
I can't imagine how this could be different for you and I wonder what it is that you hope to gain from having her around you

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Originally Posted by ashley89 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

try hanging out with some other friends and focusing on other things, and in awhile when you feel the awkwardness has faded, you two can become friends again. she'll have had her time to herself and will probably miss having you around! trust me, it's happened to me too many times ;)

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I'm afraid I have to disagree Ashley. Googeter would not be honest with himself if he suddenly takes the best friend route.
That's what a lot of guys do, hoping that she will change her mind someday. I do not believe in honest friendships between people if there are feelings involved

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Originally Posted by MynameisJesus [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I'm afraid I have to disagree Ashley. Googeter would not be honest with himself if he suddenly takes the best friend route.
That's what a lot of guys do, hoping that she will change her mind someday. I do not believe in honest friendships between people if there are feelings involved

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yeah, I guess that's true. it all really depends on how much he likes her. if it were just a little short term crush thing, it might be ok, but he did say he liked her for a long time. but a bunch of guys I used to be friends with ended up liking me, I didn't feel the same, we went through an awkward phase, but ended up being friends and later on even laughed about it! it all depends on the person and how much you like them

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Originally Posted by googeter [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I've exhausted all other options. I've asked her to hang out, and she's cancelled on me. One day, I just snapped and decided I couldn't do this anymore, so I confessed. I've felt a lot better about myself ever since, but now things have gotten awkward even though we said we'd put this behind us and try to carry on with our friendship as it is. Normally when a girl does this to me, I just move on, but I want to keep this one around.

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She realizes something that you're in denial about: the friendship is gone.

You mentioned that you've been through this kind of thing before, apparently multiple times. Clearly, it isn't working out for you. Why don't you stop misrepresenting yourself to women and try openly asking them out on dates?

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Originally Posted by ashley89 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

yeah, I guess that's true. it all really depends on how much he likes her. if it were just a little short term crush thing, it might be ok, but he did say he liked her for a long time. but a bunch of guys I used to be friends with ended up liking me, I didn't feel the same, we went through an awkward phase, but ended up being friends and later on even laughed about it! it all depends on the person and how much you like them

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I'm sure you meant it when you laughed about it. But I think a lot of those guys were just keeping up appearances. That's what I would do, make it look as if it's no big deal and we can have a laugh about it together.
I've seen so many guys take the best friend route. Good guys. And then when they were drunk they all told me what their true intentions are. I have even made a thread about it

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/48791-best-friends-better-watch-out-ladies.html#post658311[/url]

im in this same situation with one of my good guy friends. weve been close friends for a while but got a little relaxed at the work xmas do and it was quite clear that there was a bit of chemistry there.
Anyway hes acting just like this girl mate of yours, not talking much to me, acting awkward etc. Im just giving him some space, its all you can do. Me and him are both in relationships so nothing can happen and we both know that. I dont want it to anyway. Just want to go back to being friends. Anyway i hope you sort it out. It does suck, i know the feeling.

Never a good idea

Yup...horrible idea. I don't think I can forgive myself for doing what I did now, but it's far too late, and I cannot turn back time.

Anyway...she's acting extremely cold now. First, I asked her about her weekend on Monday, and she quickly brushed me off in a rude tone of voice saying it was boring, and then, today, I offered to help her with a project and she turned for help to the guy she hated last semester because she thought he liked her.

I don't get this. I'm thinking about just completely ignoring her, since that's what she's doing to me. What should I do?

Is there any way to repair this rift? I want her so bad...and it's only killing me. I can't take it anymore. What do I do?

Okay theres a pattern. She did this with the last guy that she thought liked her? Maybe she just wants as many men pining for her as possible. Maybe she learned something from childhood.

I would definatley put her on ignore, the indifferent switch, the 'no contact rule'- whatever applies best at the time. I doubt shes one of the rare ones that likes a big blow out emotional cut loose from the guy shes secretley crushing on. Mabye she likes to torment people? Or control them emotionally? Toy with them?

Who knows. But you tried and it sounds like you tried well. She doesnt deserve your attention imo. And she might try to pull you in again if she sees that you really have pulled the indifferent switch. But be careful.

I pulled the indifferent switch today and yesterday, but I still talked to her, although very minimal. Yesterday I moved away from her as soon as she started ignoring me. During the first class today I sat on the opposite end of the room from her and I could catch her glancing over at times, but I didn't let on that I knew about it. Then for the second lecture, she took a seat right next to where I was sitting last week, so by the looks of it, she will try to pull me in again, but this time I won't care, unless she jumps my bones in front of everyone, but that would never happen.

I have scheduled a date for tomorrow night. I'm not handling this the way I used to in the past, which is a lot better. I am making a strong effort to better myself. I'm taking advantage of my gym membership by going every day. In the past 3 months alone, I have lost 2 jean sizes, despite keeping the same weight. My beer gut is completely gone, and I'm starting to get some definition in my midsection. I feel better, I'm finally closer to being in shape, which means I can start training for Football (Soccer) for the summer. I don't need her to be happy, she can go torment those who are willing to get hurt over and over again. She won't suck me in this time.

Have any of you LADIES ever been in this position before?
How did you react to it?
Have you ever played with someone's feelings like this, and if so why?
I just want answers at this point. I'm not going to get them out of her. She flat out told me she was interested, then cancelled on me, then started ignoring me, while saying she still wants to be friends. She's fvcked with my head enough.

i am SO SO SO SO sick of poor, sappy posts about being 'friend-zoned'...

i think it is right to give her some time off for a while since it is obvious she is being uneasy with you now.. after a while, you can start talking to her again but make it discreet and with a group so she doesnt have to deal with awkwardness when alone with you.