Why is my friend acting like this?

Im very good friends with a girl in college, i like her as a friend but we both jokingly flirt with each other even though she has a boyfriend ,her askin me for sexy pics ect. we were great friends until...

We were all on a night out with college and talking about which member of the class we would sleep with. I stupidly told the girl who is my best friend in college that out of the girls in the class I would sleep with her, I meant it as a compliment but it came out wrong. When we returned to college I thought she had forgotten about it untill she brought it up again, I told her I dont fancy her and wouldnt try it in with her and she laughed about it. The next day she called me for a chat and we were laughing away however lately shes been avoiding me and not talking as much. I told her I prefer her as a friend, why is she acting this way ?

She hasnt been in college a few days I miss her friendship :(

You shouldn't tell your friends that you'd like to shag them then.

I'd be off with you too, .....if I wouldn't want to shag you back, lol

Sorry I should say we were all asking each other who we would sleep with that night she replied sh would "do me too"

Well maybe she is avoiidng you incase she gets tempted to sleep with you - she does have a bf.

I don't know...if shes that good of a friend, ask her why shes avoiding you.

Well i hope thats not why shes aviding me if so thats pretty stupid i said i dont fancy her that way and woulndt try it on. i will if she comes back in. one of the girls tried to ring her but her phones off

It's that freinds zone thing. Girls are oblivious that guys secretly desire them in some way, that's a reason they want to be friends. But once it comes out that they want them or in this case "do" them, things become awkward because they now see you in a different light.

If her phone is off there could be a family emergency or BF troubles.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

It's that freinds zone thing. Girls are oblivious that guys secretly desire them in some way, that's a reason they want to be friends. But once it comes out that they want them or in this case "do" them, things become awkward because they now see you in a different light.

---

I thought women always know when a friend has desires, but they ignore this so they can use their attention

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

It's that freinds zone thing. Girls are oblivious that guys secretly desire them in some way, that's a reason they want to be friends. But once it comes out that they want them or in this case "do" them, things become awkward because they now see you in a different light.

---

But i geniunly dont fancy her I was just in a moment of lust or something, in fairness she asked what i think of her and the next week she brought it up again i explained i wouldnt try it on or anything and she then asks have i any sexy pics of me. she even called me the day after it was just in person she started acting weird

I dont fancy her, you guys must have known a guy/ girl that you found sexually attractive but didnt fancy?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by MynameisJesus [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I thought women always know when a friend has desires, but they ignore this so they can use their attention

---

I always knew if a guy wanted more and I didn't use it to my advantage, nor did I ever keep him around to fulfil my ego. I'd cut him off and out of my life, as a young girl to presently. So not all of us are like that.

My sister (23) is different however, in that if she knows a guy likes her she will keep him around and use him and I tell her to stop doing it and because she is giving the guy the wrong impression and when she will ask favors of him, etc. For instance, there is a guy interested in her at the moment, but she says they are just friends, but he wants more. Rather than back off and to avoid giving him the wrong impression, she will call him and ask him to give her a lift home, or if he will borrow her money, etc, etc. I go mad with her when she does this, but she says he knows the score....that they are friends. Regardless and in my eyes, it's taking advantage of the fact she knows he likes her a lot.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Happylad [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I dont fancy her, you guys must have known a guy/ girl that you found sexually attractive but didnt fancy?

---

Being sexually attracted means you do fancy them IMO.

If I find a guy sexually attractive, I'd probably like more than friends.

Men friends are the ones we don't find sexually/physically attractive.

in fairness originally she kept asking me for sexy pics and i said no i also made clear i dont fancy her that way at least i thought i made it clear. i definatly see girls i think are attractive but wouldnt desire or pursue especially if they were my friends

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Happylad [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

in fairness originally she kept asking me for sexy pics and i said no i also made clear i dont fancy her that way at least i thought i made it clear. i definatly see girls i think are attractive but wouldnt desire or pursue especially if they were my friends

---

You talk of physical attraction here ^^^^^^

Quote:

---

you guys must have known a guy/ girl that you found sexually attractive but didnt fancy?

---

You were talking about sexual attraction here ^^^^^

There is a difference between physical attraction and sexual attraction..

I see lots of guys who I think are good looking, but I don't fancy them.

Then I see good looking guys I feel drawn too....it's a sexual attraction drawing me and these are the guys I'd like more with....

ah right well i meant shes good looking and thats it we were all using that expression that night :(. i wish i just said yea your hot/sexy

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Happylad [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

ah right well i meant shes good looking and thats it we were all using that expression that night :(. i wish i just said yea your hot/sexy

---

Well because you said that you'd like to bed her, she probably thinks you are now viewing her as more than a friend and that you fancy the pants off her. Which could explain why she might have backed off. Like Smackie said, you've crossed the friendship line and since making that remark....

Or, it could be that she's pissed and because since you made that remark, you have told her that you just see her a friend.....and she may secretly like you are more than a friend.

girls are complicated arent they tell me straight :d. so should i just ask her straight?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Happylad [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

girls are complicated arent they tell me straight :d. so should i just ask her straight?

---

No more than you guys are :)

I'd ask her. It's the only way you will find out what is really going on.

So a quick chat with her and a spank on the ass and back friends again :)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by xxazurexx [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I always knew if a guy wanted more and I didn't use it to my advantage, nor did I ever keep him around to fulfil my ego. I'd cut him off and out of my life, as a young girl to presently. So not all of us are like that.

My sister (23) is different however, in that if she knows a guy likes her she will keep him around and use him and I tell her to stop doing it and because she is giving the guy the wrong impression and when she will ask favors of him, etc. For instance, there is a guy interested in her at the moment, but she says they are just friends, but he wants more. Rather than back off and to avoid giving him the wrong impression, she will call him and ask him to give her a lift home, or if he will borrow her money, etc, etc. I go mad with her when she does this, but she says he knows the score....that they are friends. Regardless and in my eyes, it's taking advantage of the fact she knows he likes her a lot.

---

I think that explains why some girls kiss multiple guys because 'it doesn't mean anything to them'. They realize it makes the guy fall in love, and they can use their attention and take advantage of them.
I'm starting to understand how it all works.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by MynameisJesus [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I think that explains why some girls kiss multiple guys because 'it doesn't mean anything to them'. They realize it makes the guy fall in love, and they can use their attention and take advantage of them.
I'm starting to understand how it all works.

---

Well....these guys tend to fall for my sister and without her having to kiss them and she doesn't kiss them. Don't get me wrong....she doesn't intentionally lure them in and to use them for her own purpose. It just appears to me that she keeps them around and because if she wants a favor, there are guys she can go too and it appears to me as though she's using them.

The real trouble with my sister is, is that she is over friendly and really sweet natured. She will chat to anyone, from any walk of life - she has always been this way and from being a child. The trouble with her type, is that her over friendliness can be misinterpreted by guys and it is. They tend to think that because she gives them her attention and is nice to them and chats to them, that it means more. She is also very attractive - so of course, you get guys fall for her and guys who are willing to run around and to please her, hoping she will fall for them. But she sees them as friends and keeps them around as friends and if she's stuck for anything, she will call the guys who she knows like her and because they are more likely to want to give her a lift home, or fix her pc, or whatever. But half of the time these guys are offering to give her a lift home, etc.....

I tell her that in doing stuff like this, she is leading these guys on. But she doesn't see the harm in it and because she says that these guys know, they are just friends.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by xxazurexx [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

The real trouble with my sister is, is that she is over friendly and really sweet natured. She will chat to anyone, from any walk of life - she has always been this way and from being a child. The trouble with her type, is that her over friendliness can be misinterpreted by guys and it is. They tend to think that because she gives them her attention and is nice to them and chats to them, that it means more. She is also very attractive - so of course, you get guys fall for her and guys who are willing to run around and to please her, hoping she will fall for them. But she sees them as friends and keeps them around as friends and if she's stuck for anything, she will call the guys who she knows like her and because they are more likely to want to give her a lift home, or fix her pc, or whatever. But half of the time these guys are offering to give her a lift home, etc.....

---

that happens to me alot, too. I'm overly nice, and it tends to get me in trouble. I'll be talking to a guy just trying to be friendly or whatever, next thing you know they're trying to ask me to go out on dates and hang out one on one... and I'm sitting there like huh? A few years ago I used to do the same thing as your sister. I knew a guy would like me, and we'd be "friends", so we'd hang out and I gave off the wrong impression, just thinking we were friends when they were thinking more. Eventually it'd all blow up in my face because the guys would get pissed that nothing was happening between us and they'd say I was leading them on, so now I try to be more careful when talking to guys, making it clear where we stand.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by MynameisJesus [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I think that explains why some girls kiss multiple guys because 'it doesn't mean anything to them'. They realize it makes the guy fall in love, and they can use their attention and take advantage of them.
I'm starting to understand how it all works.

---

I think men do that aswell, although if I know a girl fancies me I wont give her the wrong imipression I will limit contact with her ( I think only people with low self esteem lead their friends on). I have another friend that thinks im hot but wouldnt try it on with me or pursue me so i dont see anything wrong with a bit of casual flirting there!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ashley89 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

that happens to me alot, too. I'm overly nice, and it tends to get me in trouble. I'll be talking to a guy just trying to be friendly or whatever, next thing you know they're trying to ask me to go out on dates and hang out one on one... and I'm sitting there like huh? A few years ago I used to do the same thing as your sister. I knew a guy would like me, and we'd be "friends", so we'd hang out and I gave off the wrong impression, just thinking we were friends when they were thinking more. Eventually it'd all blow up in my face because the guys would get pissed that nothing was happening between us and they'd say I was leading them on, so now I try to be more careful when talking to guys, making it clear where we stand.

---

Yes, over friendliness can come across all wrong to guys and for the reason....they tend to read it as 'interested'. This is why I sometimes tell guys in these forums, that just because a female may be being friendly with you, doesn't mean she may want more...

I never, ever get too friendly with guys, particularly the ones I only see as friends. I always maintain a distance from guys I have no interest in....then there are no misunderstandings.

Same happens to my sis too. They eventually suss that they are going to get nothing more than 'friends' and they stop doing things for her. Which means that they were not being totally honest with her either, hence wanting to be a friend with the ulterior motive of wanting more.

eh well how will i aproach her tomororw

sorry its maybe cause im irish but we dont do anything for girls here were not gay!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by xxazurexx [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Well....these guys tend to fall for my sister and without her having to kiss them and she doesn't kiss them. Don't get me wrong....she doesn't intentionally lure them in and to use them for her own purpose. It just appears to me that she keeps them around and because if she wants a favor, there are guys she can go too and it appears to me as though she's using them.

---

2 of my friends have been in love with younger girls. Both guys are pretty insecure and have decided to be very friendly and make their move later on. 1 of the guys fell for her because she kissed him and he thought it meant something. He was deeply in love.
Both guys have been very friendly, constantly giving their attention, texting and always being there. For 2 years.
Then both admitted their true intentions, and both girls said " I'm sorry but I only like you as a friend " That is what the kisser said too, she does it every week because " it doesn't mean anything and I like it".
I think it is a trick to get guys to fall in love.

Now the guy that got kissed, is not there for her anymore. She claims that she sees him as a best friend though and she is trying to "restore the friendship" by running after him. She also asked me to net tell him anything about her consistent cheating. Because then she would lose him.

Now my question is:
Are girls really that dumb to think they have a friend in this case? Or do they just regret the fact that the guys are not giving their full attention anymore. I think that both guys have made their intentions clear since the beginning, and both girls have refused to answer for a very long time so that they could take advantage of the attention for 2 ****in years.

I used to think that both girls are naïve, not smart enough to realize that they aren't friends. Now I'm starting to think that both have always realized they weren't friends, but are desperately craving for their attention they've missed so much

Whereas any decent girl with good intentions would simply back off

ok first of all assuming that she is the average of 18 when entering college......she has gotten caught up with not having parents around being on her own and drinking herself into as men mens bedroom as possible if shes a friend shell come aroun