Here we go again, still in love with my best female friend!

Since i posted that nothing really has happended. To make it short, were attracted to each other. She tries toching me alot. Toe flirting, and so on. Sometimes she puts her foot on mine and sais "oh excuse me!" and things like that. However shes a real attention whore and a tease girl. This should be taken into consideration. She sais all the time "were like the same... we ar so alike eachother". When im not interested and backing off she tries to pull me in, when i try to go all in she backs off.

However the other day, she said to out of the blue "imagine how much fun we would have if we would have a relationship.. we would listen to music together.. etc".

Friends dont say things like that to each other! She was really shy when she said it. A few days efterwards she told a mutual friend of ours, out of the blue, "i think girlsgonewild wants to be more than friends with me.." he replied "okay, so what do you want?" she said "nooo hes like a brother for me"

One moment shes touching me like shes in love with me, the other shes like "what up brother!". This is really confusing. Weve been friends for a year. Cant take this anymore. I need to act. Should I just explain that i get confused from these signals shes sending out and ask if she wants what i want, or just try to kiss her?

I cant really be friends with her anymore, it feels like. What to do? Shes really unsecure and has a low self asteem.

Feels like she likes me, but not sure if she likes me like a friend or if she has more emotions.

Couldnt post my initial thread.. whatever.. its titled deeply in love with my best friend if anyone would bother finding it or sending PM.

I dunno man, it almost sounds like shes playing with you to see what you'll do about it. You can pretty much guarantee she likes you, maybe shes just unsure of what she wants to do about it. I say talk to her and see if you can get anything out of her.

What bothers me is that everything has to be on her terms. She knows im always there for her and I dont want it that way.

Maybe shes unsure cause im not making a move on her? The other day she was lying in my bed on her tummy and I sat down and stroke her back, she was like "what are you doing, stroking my back.." 10 min later she was like "can you come and lie down in the bed so we can fix this on the computer?"

One minute fine, next not. Borderline. Feels like shes playing yeah, I need to take charge in some kind of way, either by talking to her (even though declaring my feelings could put me deeper in the friend zone..) or trying to kiss her. Either how if she likes me it shouldnt matter what option Im choosing right....

Ya I think your right man, you need to make a solid move on her. If shes cool with it and wants to, good. If not, I mean ya that sucks but at least you know whats going on once and for all. I'm about to tell my best friend how I feel about her in an hour or so here and im nervous as **** lol, but im excited to get it over with and see what happens

Yup, this is what I need to do. Never been in this spot before, involved with a close friend like this. Good luck bro! If u got msn why dont u send me a PM

I cant send u a pm cuz i havent posted enough yet apparently. my e-mail is ryan_87_rise at hotmail dot com

You said everything you need to know I will lay it out to paint her in a different light.

She toys with you and LOVES the attention you give her. She wants this attention to forever continue until she finds a guy who indulges her 24/7. You said so yourself. You pull in she pulls back- she doesn't like you THAT much. Then when you pull back she thinks WTF?! Damn you, I'll get you, watch... Ohh hey... *footsies*... Oh touchy touchy... and BAM you fall again she wins! She got you giving her all this attention again. She she gets bored and moves on until you pull away again... repeat.

There are 2 types of people who do this: insecure girls and young girls. She's both so yeah. You're screwed.

Trust me when I say you don't want an insecure girl. She will continually seek attention elsewhere- because she will forever need to be getting validation from others. She will apprear very overly flirtacious with other boys... all because she needs attention.

I think you should pull away for good.

Yeah I guess thats right.. its crazy that she has said things like "i want you to **** me.. the thought of it makes me horny, imagine how much fun we would have if we were together" complements my looks and so on. There is a sexual tension for sure and she just feels ****ing horny sometimes, like she wants to be ****ed.

She IS an attention whore and all of that. But isnt there a strategy for each girl? Even for this one? But your correct, this is going nowhere. Maybe my love for her has blinded me but it feels like things that she sais or does is really genuine, like she means it. And yes, she has a lot of male friends who all try to **** her, and giving her attention.

You dont even think I should make a final move girl68?

Whats really funny is that she and her earlier male friend got in to some kind of conflict, and I could tell there was a STRONG sexual tension between them, a sexual frustration even. Afterwards she mentioned "...but there havent even been any signals like that between me and him!" and I was like yeah right..

Sorry for my bad english, im not scottish and not a native english speaker.

I have a feeling LOTS of guys think there's strong sexual chemisty she leads ALL of them on. I guess the ONLY straegy you should employ is make her come running. Back off... back way way off and make her come running to get you. At which point you DON'T give in, see how long it takes for her to be like what the hell is up!? And in which case you say well so I like you, I want you and I want only you. No games no nothing... You in? Yes or no? ANything whishy washy about it proves my point. She JUST wants attention and nothing more.

Try that...

Christ... more games, dont really feel like it at all, I know im contradicting what Im saying but its just cause Ive built up an exaggerated mental picture of her as some kind of goddes that will make me super happy. Yay. The logic in me realizes this isnt true but the emotional side sais the opposite and is much stronger. Cant really do much about it. What will the difference be if I ignore her and let her coming and declare what I feel, or if I do it now? If she likes me she does, if she doesnt she doesnt. Its very simple in my world but hey, maybe I missed something with women.

The optimal-strategy-part of me still feels that its wrong to force out a confession thru an ultimatum. Does that sentence make sense in english? And it ****ing bothers me A LOT, that I will have to go down the same "route" as many previous male "friends" have to her. Myself isnt really the first who this has happend to with her. Ive seen under a year atleast 3 guys confessing their love to her.It wouldnt surprise me at all if she infact is expecting somekind of love declaration, or that it would make her satisfied. I know her so damn well.

But at the same time... I guess I just gotta have to do it to move on.

She has had a "slut record" in previous years sleeping with a lot of ppl so Im still considering how to bring forth the sluttiness again just to nail her. I mean first things first no matter what, thats to get in the sack with her. Girl68, girls like this that have a million guys after them, who do they sleep with? I guess the type that sees thru all of the BS shes pulling, even do I do aswell and she still gets me where she wants.

What also confuses me is that when I mention other girls she kind of pretends to just laugh about it and doesnt seem to care even though she does and actually looks worried. These are the genuine signs Im reffering to. Confuses me even more.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Girlsgonewild [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

What will the difference be if I ignore her and let her coming and declare what I feel, or if I do it now?

---

There is a huge difference my way is YOU win, you call the shots. If you confess you leave EVERYTHING in her hands to continually mind f**k you, just like how she's been doing this whole time. You also seem to think she has no idea you're so in love... oh yeah she knows... she knows BIG TIME, which is why she plays with you because she knows she has you wrapped around her little finger.

Aside from the fact I wasn't a little slut I was a total young little attention whore. I tired to get as many guys to fall for me as humanly possible. Just like she does. Oh and I never wanted to get with any of them... I just wanted to be wanted. Just like her.

Ofcourse I know that she knows. Thats why this whole "friend" relationship feels fake.. I earlier wrote in a post that she had said to a mutual friend of ours, not to long ago, that she thought I wanted to be more than friends with her. She has known this for almost a year now, and brings it like some kind of "fresh news" to this friend of ours... like cmon, whats the point with all this bs.

I still cant see what difference its gonna make if I tell her to make up her mind now or later after Ive ignored her. Why do you think she will be able to "mind ****" me? And not later but now? I know all her tricks and what shes about, I think I can read people pretty well even though my radar gets disturbed a lil bit due to my in loveness.

Are you trying to say that I can give her a chance to keep on whishy washing now, but not later on?

Dont understand why things have to be so difficualt. Yes/no, thats all it takes. But she wants, to refer to a saying in my country, to eat the cookie and keep it at the same time. And that doesnt compute..

You clearly have you mind made up. Obviously you don't see my point. I'm through... but I will yell "I TOLD YOU SO" if you come back posting about your broken heart or some shit. I know her game, I've played it for years... until I grew up. So far you've been nothing but a puppet in her play.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Girlsgonewild [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Im still considering how to bring forth the sluttiness again just to nail her. I mean first things first no matter what, thats to get in the sack with her.

---

Wait, so you're just trying to nail her? Or do you want a relationship with her, but you want sex first before anything else?

If you're just trying to get sex, Holy Hell are you working too hard for it. Easy sex should be easy to get. You don't befriend her for a year or whatever just to bang her. You're doing it wrong.

If you do want a relationship but want sex first, you're still doing it wrong.

Sometimes it almost feels like were in a relationship... I dont know why, cant explain it. A friend of mine told me that if we were to get together nobody would notice anything except we dont make out with other people and have sex with each other.

No matter how were interacting with eachother were not gonna be anything else but friends before we kissed->have sex. Until that point we are just friends.

Quote:

---

If you do want a relationship but want sex first, you're still doing it wrong.

---

I cant really figure this sentence out.. what? What kind of relationships are you in where you dont kiss and have sex? We already touch each other and so on so I want to take it further...

I would really appreciate some constructive critisiscm on the other hand where you can point out what I should try to do and not try to do, instead of just making a point of that Im making it wrong... :) Thanks

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Girlsgonewild [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I cant really figure this sentence out.. what? What kind of relationships are you in where you dont kiss and have sex? We already touch each other and so on so I want to take it further...

I would really appreciate some constructive critisiscm on the other hand where you can point out what I should try to do and not try to do, instead of just making a point of that Im making it wrong... :) Thanks

---

What I meant was, if you want a relationship with her, you should be trying to date her, not just sleep with her. Sleeping with her doesn't automatically make her your girlfriend. You'd still have to do the whole dating thing. So if that's what you want, flirt with her, ask her out on some romantic dates, make a move. Do something that will give her the opportunity to flatly reject you so that at least you'll know for sure, and you can move on if she doesn't want you.

But we dont need to do the date thing. Thats how I feel about it. Okay, just to explain. On her birthday, for her birthday present (whats funny is that all the guys that was on her birthday party was her "friends" that has hit on her and tried to take it further) I just said "so Ill take you for dinner or lunch as your birthday present", she rejected it and said "nooo you dont have to, we dont have any money (students) whatever." She rejected me. Not to long after that she was "soo why dont you buy me dinner ;)" and was all flirty about it. I thought that everything cant be on her terms and said "no you missed your shot, plus Im saving money I dont have to spend on your birthday present."

Shes like this. All the time.

So you're saying you don't need to do the date thing because you've tried that and she's rejected you, so you have to try something else. And that something else is to have sex with her? If she's rejected you on simple dates, what makes you think she's going to have sex with you? I don't really understand your logic.

I also don't understand why you would reject her when she asked you out. Because you were trying to act tough as if you're not going to let her manipulate you? Newsflash: You ARE being manipulated by her. Also the way that you turned down her dinner invitation was kind of nasty. Like you were trying to punish her for not saying yes to your initial invitation. I guess you're pretty manipulative, too.

No, not really, I guess your right. Sometimes we go out and eat and whatever just the two of us, feels kinda like dating even tho were just friends.

Well, cause one minute shes in and next shes out, like borderline behaviour. So I guess its just a big tease thing after all, hard to tell when your in love. Also hard when she sends out signals like she does but thats just how she is I guess...

Yeah, thats exactly right. It cant all be on her terms. So your saying you dont understand why I rejected her when she asked me out...... would you wanna be a door mat? I mean she cant get away with anything.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by MerryH [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

So if that's what you want, flirt with her, ask her out on some romantic dates, make a move. Do something that will give her the opportunity to flatly reject you so that at least you'll know for sure, and you can move on if she doesn't want you.

---

Quote:

---

I also don't understand why you would reject her when she asked you out.

---

Yeah so......

Also, It's egoistic and selfish behaviour in my book, but maybe thats just me. Would you wanna accept everything on somebody elses terms, everytime? That doesnt fly, sorry. She has to make up her mind. The back n forth thing about the dinner thing is her in a nutshell, im tired of it.

Its like you don't like what merry says and I say the exact opposite and you don't like that either....

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Girlsgonewild [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Would you wanna accept everything on somebody elses terms, everytime?

---

If I'm interested in someone and they ask me out, I'm not going to reject them. But I also wouldn't hang around trying again and again with someone who clearly doesn't want me, like you're doing.

Hehe, yeah you wont reject them, and than later on you will try to make the person ask you out again and maybe mention that the thought of that person ****ing you makes you horny? Do you or your friends act like this? Just sayin. Thats not logic behaviour for me but maybe it is for you Merry. And when the person gives you signals that she likes you, you blame me for trying? And when Im not trying the person is trying something with me? Excuse me but what are you "blaming" me for?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Girlsgonewild [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Hehe, yeah you wont reject them, and than later on you will try to make the person ask you out again and maybe mention that the thought of that person ****ing you makes you horny? Do you or your friends act like this? Just sayin. Thats not logic behaviour for me but maybe it is for you Merry. And when the person gives you signals that she likes you, you blame me for trying? And when Im not trying the person is trying something with me? Excuse me but what are you "blaming" me for?

---

Wrote this in a feeling of despair and I have come to terms that I just have to accept that SHE IS LIKE THIS. This is her and I cant take it to personally. Im not gonna cut her loose totally but just take a few steps back. Tell myself that the illusion that I have built up about her as some kind of godess is nothing but a illusion. Afterwhile I assume I will start FEELING like that aswell.

Shes not ready/doesnt want anything and I guess thats fine. I cant blaim her for that. Ill just treat her as a friend and try to accept what people have written. If she really wants something in the future shell have to proove thats shes wearthy of being with me :)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Girlsgonewild [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Hehe, yeah you wont reject them, and than later on you will try to make the person ask you out again and maybe mention that the thought of that person ****ing you makes you horny? Do you or your friends act like this? Just sayin. Thats not logic behaviour for me but maybe it is for you Merry. And when the person gives you signals that she likes you, you blame me for trying? And when Im not trying the person is trying something with me? Excuse me but what are you "blaming" me for?

---

I don't even know what you're attempting to say here, but I'm pretty sure you're trying to be insulting or something. You've completely misunderstood what I've said, and I don't care to correct you anymore because you're just going to continue to be a whiny bitch about it.

If I'm interested in someone and they ask me out, I'm not going to reject them.

I read this as she being the one interested, and her rejecting me when I asked her out proved your point that shes not interested... Sry if I mistunderstood

But I also wouldn't hang around trying again and again with someone who clearly doesn't want me, like you're doing.

Read this as you mocking me for trying to hook up with her. This made me confused since I dont think it's very clear that she doesnt want me.

Language barriers. Anyhow, what do I do when shell start to touch me in these ways I described? Just take her hand away and laugh about it like "what are you doing friend?" or just ask her straight out whats up with her behaviour?