Boyfriend and Facebook problem

Hey guys!
I've been together with my boyfriend for 9 months..in a LDR, 2 hours away. During this time, I think we fought about 20 times over facebook, I started it, and here's why :
-he doesn't want to change his status from blank to in a relationship, even though I did.
- he doesn't want to put pictures of us on his profile, but he has a lot of photos with his friends (girls) hugging.
- if I comment or like his photos/links, he often gets annoyed, saying : "you just want to mark your teritory" , and sometimes deletes them
-he adds a lot of girls who he doesn;t know..very whorish looking
-he "likes" other girls' photos, but never liked one of mine ..and so on..

Because of that, I often got upset and started fights. His response was always: it's my profile, you don't tell me what to add on it or how to act". He said that if I mention facebook again, he'll break up with me.

I sometimes think his behaviour on facebook might be a sign that he doesn't want other girls to know he's in a relationship. And it makes it harder when it's a LDR.
Do you think I'm just too paranoid? Thanks!

No I don't think you're too paranoid. His behaviour is highly suspect.

From what you write, it seems clear he doesn't want his friends to know he's dating you.

He's such a dick.

You two are immature and Facebook is the most idiotic thing on the planet!!!

The Facebook stuff is just a symptom of the real problem: you're in a long-distance relationship with a player. He's got you at a safe distance, so he is free to interact with other women who live in his area. It's a good setup for him, but you might want to consider your options.

I think you are either naive or stupid...no actually Ithink you are young and naive and its a big learning curve for you...

When a guy does not want to tell the world he is in a relationship with you...it's time to call it off.

Break up and move on. My guess is he won't even fight off the break up, probably waiting for you to end it....

I'm not saying this out of spite. I just think you need a no nonsense approach to your questions.

Long Distance and Relationships don't go together.

First off, date locally, secondly, keep your private business off FB, thirdly if someone starts waging war over the Internet with you, dump them.

Generally, long distance relationships don't work well all in all, and let people act according to how they please without the partner much knowing of their actions (unless they happen to be faithful and honest). He sounds very suspicious, why would he want to cover pretty much your entire relationship up? I suggest you re-think this over, and view it from a third party perspective. Good luck to you :))

I can almost guarantee that he is playing you. Two hours away, will not admit he is in a relationship with you, openly flirting with other females on FB, disregarding your feelings. Sounds like you have a much different view of your "relationship" than he does. He's getting a sweet deal whilst you worry and wonder.

Did you really even need to post this to figure out what to do? Get him out of your life!

LDRs can work just fine, and millions of happy couples are proof of that.

Anyhow, now that we've put that nonsense aside...your boyfriend's behavior is suspicious as hell. I'd say he doesn't want people on FB to know he's in a relationship, in which case he's not really committed to you. If you're OK with that, carry on. If not, I would suggest finding someone who IS committed to you, and is proud to change their status and put up pictures of the two of you together.

Sure LDRs can work, but only for the short term......relationships need to go to the next level in order to survive, just like any other kind of relationship.

Nope, LDRs can be successful long-term, as long as both people are willing to be patient, and continue working together as a team towards the goal of being together.

Not every relationship needs your specific timeline to last. :)

LDRs can work but only if the love shared is strong and both partners are committed to each other. Most LDRs don't work because frankly their love just wasn't strong to survive the distance. For most people out of sight is out of mind.

Having said that, in your case, OP, I highly suspect your boyfriend loves you. He isn't into you anymore. The way he treats you is how you know if a guy loves you. We like you we (almost) always treat you well. Most men aren't stupid or naive and they well know how little things can mean a lot to girls. By not caring for your feelings he's sending the message loud and clear that he doesn't care about you. Sorry that's a very bad way to behave with someone you claim to be in love with. Just not cool.

You can argue all you want. There are few success stories to LDRs. Too many are taken advantage of, as well the physical need to be together over takes it which is understandable. Relationships get to a point where they need to progress. And it's always not about their love not being strong enough. There are certain circumstances arise, and all the love in the world can't help you. It does has it challenges and for those few they make it work sure, but it gets to a point where phone calls and love emails don't cut it.....people do want more and when it gets to that point it is extremely painful. That pain can be too overwhelming and it just has to end. When it gets like that, it's not healthy.

You can argue all you want, as well, but there ARE success stories to LDRs. Judging by the fact that this forum exists and that the VAST majority of people coming here seeking advice are in in-person relationships, apparently they aren't highly successful all the time, either.

Compromise, dedication, trust, and communication are key in any relationship, whether it is long distance or not.

As I already said, but apparently you missed, LDRs can be just as successful as any other relationship IF both people are willing to be patient, and work towards the goal of being together. Anyone with half a brain understands that an LDR generally won'tl work if there are no plans to be together, ever, and only a judgmental person who erroneously believes he has all the answers thinks they ONLY work in the short-term, as if he can predict other people's relationships.

I hope that helps. :)

I can't judge whether LDR will work or not. But it doesn't take a genius to know that he is hiding you. I sure hope you haven't put out yet or have given him anything precious. Don't waste your time and emotions by arguing with him. If a guy does not automatically want to show you off to the world without you mentioning it, he isn't really pumped about having you as a girlfriend. This kind of boyfriend is only going to step all over your self-esteem. As a woman, you want to feel wanted and valued, right? Do yourself a favor and leave him. Don't even give him the satisfaction of a breakup talk. Just stop talking to him.

Somebody wins the lottery from time to time. Doesn't mean that your lottery ticket is worth scratch.

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Originally Posted by VincenzoG91 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Somebody wins the lottery from time to time. Doesn't mean that your lottery ticket is worth scratch.

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She is automatically a winning ticket since she is the one with the vagina.

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Originally Posted by sadie_genie [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

She is automatically a winning ticket since she is the one with the vagina.

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I guess. I mean even Lindsay Lohan has a stalker.

Well, I'll be the grown-up and bow out of this, since arguing with people who think they know everything about everyone is a waste of my time. I'm truly sorry that your guys' thinking is so narrow...I hope you get better soon.

Oh, and I'll make certain to tell my long-term, long-distance boyfriend that according to some strangers who don't even know us on some insignificant Internet relationship forum, he and I have no chance at anything past the short term. I'm sure we'll have a great laugh together at the delusional superiority complex some people possess, so thank you for that. :D

Oops, wait, that's right...we're already past the short term. Ah, well...we'll still enjoy the laugh.

OP, as I said before, he's obviously hiding something. I hope you find someone who is more open about your relationship. Good luck to you. :)

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Originally Posted by Khryalasi [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Oh, and I'll make certain to tell my long-term, long-distance boyfriend that according to some strangers who don't even know us on some insignificant Internet relationship forum, he and I have no chance at anything past the short term. I'm sure we'll have a great laugh together at the delusional superiority complex some people possess, so thank you for that. :D

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It's Friday night. For all you know, he is cheating on you at this very moment.

I didn't say the usual relationship don't end or don't have issues. LDR's end most commonly because they can't be together in the physical sense and most realize that they want more out the relationship.

It's natural for a relationships to progress to a level that one wants to live together and eventually get married and have kids etc. LDR's are usually used by people who can't normally go out and date because of too shy or whatever. It's just way more easier IM and web cam. As for most people on here, the majority are kids and young people that don't have enough time and experience under their belt yet. THAT'S why they are here.

One possible analysis to the OP, he's been in a relationship before and pasted details all over facebook as he thought that this was the one and the feeling was more than mutual. A few months down the line it started to turn sour and what should have been an easy split turned out to be more protracted because of the facebook pictures and statuses and he was left wondering "is there still something here? facebook gives me a glimour of hope!" and a few more months pass by and he became stressed and anxious wondering why his once affectionate girlfriend can't give him the time of day but won't end it. Oh if it only wasn't for the fact she had herself down as being in a relationship...

He's now with the OP and rather than go through that would rather stay silent on the issue. Gives a bit more freedom to walk away if things go wrong. He may be able to put other girls pictures on there because they may just be friends (casual) and not a relationship (serious) and he's showing you he has nothing to hide... but maybe he wants to be 100% sure that everybody feels the same way and everything is going to be OK and passes a certain time before announcing you PUBLICLY to the world in front of all of his friends and their friends friends etc.

Nine months is a bit excessive though.

I also had a similar problem with my boyfriend and fb. We both have it in our status that we are in a relationship with one another, but I don't know if he knows this or not but I can see when he comments on other girls', that he doesn't know but added anyway, pics. The girls are wearing little to nothing and he always says something like 'sexy pic', I see you',' looking good.'

Takes notes from me, if you don't feel comfortable in the relationship(whether it's his fault or not) then just leave. It's really not worth it, honestly. And please dont let social networks run your life.

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Originally Posted by Cirque [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I also had a similar problem with my boyfriend and fb. We both have it in our status that we are in a relationship with one another, but I don't know if he knows this or not but I can see when he comments on other girls', that he doesn't know but added anyway, pics. The girls are wearing little to nothing and he always says something like 'sexy pic', I see you',' looking good.'

Takes notes from me, if you don't feel comfortable in the relationship(whether it's his fault or not) then just leave. It's really not worth it, honestly. And please dont let social networks run your life.

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Finally someone that is making sense......

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Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You can argue all you want. There are few success stories to LDRs. Too many are taken advantage of, as well the physical need to be together over takes it which is understandable. Relationships get to a point where they need to progress. And it's always not about their love not being strong enough. There are certain circumstances arise, and all the love in the world can't help you. It does has it challenges and for those few they make it work sure, but it gets to a point where phone calls and love emails don't cut it.....people do want more and when it gets to that point it is extremely painful. That pain can be too overwhelming and it just has to end. When it gets like that, it's not healthy.

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I know two personally... three counting myself. And that's just in my circle of friends and relatives. A friend of mine met a young lady online via ICQ about 12 years ago. Married her 10 years ago. Still married, still happy. My little brother and his wife separated when he went into the Marine Corps right out of HS. He came back about a year later and married her, still married 12 years later.

My wife and I spent nearly 9 years apart, and when we got back together, it was LD until I moved to be with her.

I will grant you that it's UNLIKELY, the odds are definitely against you, but they can work.

My experience and those I have known are at the other end of the spectrum.....There are more disasters that success stories. No different than childhood sweethearts that stay married for over 50 years. It happens but very rare indeed.

I'm not disputing that - just saying that is IS possible. I know this for fact, I've witnessed it with my own eyes, and experienced it personally.

I'm not saying it can't work, I'm saying the odds are against most who try.

There are two hard facts that every LDR couple must face:

1. They have allowed some outside factor to come before the relationship. College. A job. Military service. Something.

2. Unless maybe one of them is in a warzone, there are probably plenty of eligible single people around both of them.

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Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I'm not saying it can't work, I'm saying the odds are against most who try.

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You see? We're saying the same thing.

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Originally Posted by VincenzoG91 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

There are two hard facts that every LDR couple must face:

1. They have allowed some outside factor to come before the relationship. College. A job. Military service. Something.

2. Unless maybe one of them is in a warzone, there are probably plenty of eligible single people around both of them.

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Maybe that's the difference. My friend let nothing stand in his way - his wife is from Thailand, he's from the U.S. My brother took leave and flew to marry his HS sweetheart/wife and bring her with him. I let nothing get in my way - my wife is amazed that I came to Arkansas to be with her - but I've told her (and it's true) that absolutely nothing short of further incarceration would keep me from being with her. I will do anything, endure anything, go anywhere to be with her, and she feels the same way about me. I came here because it made the most sense at the time. Soon enough it'll make sense for us to go elsewhere, and we will.