Boyfriend has just told me he has a baby

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24-05-11, 02:26 AM
19charlotte82

Boyfriend has just told me he has a baby

I have been seeing a guy fr a year. It's been love since the first date, I thought he was mr perfect, he'd text me to tell me how much he loves me, he'd buy me flowers, my friends and family all adore him. He is a single dad to two little girls who I have started to bond with. A few moths ago I got a facebook message saying "ask your man about his new baby girl, everyone knows about it but you". I didn't think twice about it because previously he had been getting messages telling him I was cheating on him (all lies), so I just assumed it was the same person. I told him about the messages but didn't ask if they were true as I didn't feel that I had too. He has just left my flat after now telling me that it is true, following a brief fling with someone just before he started seeing me. We had a big argument and I told him to get out. I feel like a total fool and like the past year that I thought was so perfect was just a big lie. He was crying and said the reason he didn't tell me was because he didn't want to lose me. I don't know what to do, I feel like I have been punched in the stomach. I can't believe he'd lie to me like this but I still love him. I can't talk to any of my friends because I feel like such an idiot for letting them all think he was so great. Help.
24-05-11, 03:06 AM
oldskool83

well...he didnt cheat o ya so if you like him and he likes you id say go for it. could be worse...trust me way worse
24-05-11, 03:08 AM
Mathias

Quote:

Originally Posted by oldskool83 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

well...he didnt cheat o ya so if you like him and he likes you id say go for it. could be worse...trust me way worse

Yes, but he's been lying about her pregnancy for a year. That's awful.
24-05-11, 03:16 AM
surfhb

Yep! You got punched in the stomach! Is there something we can do or say to make you feel better? I wish you luck and hope you find another guy who treats you with a little more respect
24-05-11, 03:18 AM
Mathias

And your friends will empathize - please spend some time with them. They want your happiness - they don't give a shit about him.
24-05-11, 03:20 AM
19charlotte82

I guess the advice I'm after is, I was so happy, should I throw it all away? Or try and make it work?
24-05-11, 03:21 AM
Mathias

Quote:

Originally Posted by 19charlotte82 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I guess the advice I'm after is, I was so happy, should I throw it all away? Or try and make it work?

You're not going to be happy after this.

Leave before you torture yourself with him.
24-05-11, 03:25 AM
surfhb

Quote:

I guess the advice I'm after is, I was so happy, should I throw it all away? Or try and make it work?

OMG! Heavens no! Run, Run away!!! I know its hard but have a little respect....this guy is a prick!!! Arent you mad at him? Did he betray you? Do you still trust him? Does your heart rate increase when you think about it? do you want to help support him emotionally with all these 'love babies" he's having? Are you looking forward to hear him bitch about the child support payments he will be dealing with?

Want me to go on?
24-05-11, 03:26 AM
oldskool83

i found out my ex gf was in depbt 20K to the ire after 1.5 years....i was pissed a a week and brushed it off. ur call. id make him come over and talk
24-05-11, 03:41 AM
Petit Papillon

He sounds a bit like a Baby Machine, it's possible that you'd be next incubator... Really, couldn't he tell you from the start ? It depends on you how much are you able to accept. Can you accept him and his 3 kids and 2 mothers of those kids? Cause they will be in your lives forver. I personally think you shouldn't stay with him ,but it depends on you .
24-05-11, 03:42 AM
Mathias

Quote:

Originally Posted by oldskool83 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

i found out my ex gf was in depbt 20K to the ire after 1.5 years....i was pissed a a week and brushed it off.

You can't see how these situations are much different?
24-05-11, 03:46 AM
surfhb

LOL....Yeah. 20K in the hole vs a Baby he lied about having arent even in the same ballpark. These are BFs and GFs were talking about here so so theres no great commitment. Move on I say....but then again, its easy for me sitting behind a keyboard and monitor.
24-05-11, 05:02 AM
BackUpOrGetStng

He never lied about the baby.
24-05-11, 05:06 AM
surfhb

Quote:

He was crying and said the reason he didn't tell me was because he didn't want to lose me.

Quote:

He never lied about the baby.

Say again?
24-05-11, 05:07 AM
VincenzoG91

Quote:

Originally Posted by BackUpOrGetStng [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

He never lied about the baby.

That's not good enough. It's obviously important information that he should have shared but chose to keep secret. This kind of omission is just as bad as a lie.
24-05-11, 05:08 AM
19charlotte82

He near enough lied when I received the facebook message. I discussed it with him ie "how could someone be so pathetic to spread lies like that?" an he agreed with me. I really thought we were soul mates. My dilemma is I really do believe him when he said he didn't tell me because he didn't want to lose me and te longer he left it, the harder it got. But even though I love him to bits and my heart is breaking, I don't know if we can get over this.
24-05-11, 06:05 AM
HeartIsAching

Quote:

Originally Posted by BackUpOrGetStng [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

He never lied about the baby.

A lie of omission is still a lie.
24-05-11, 06:07 AM
oldskool83

it puts the lotion on its skin.
24-05-11, 09:16 AM
Saya

He didn't cheat on you, but that is pretty bad thing to hide and not telling you.
You can try to build up the relationship again, trust him, forgive him for what he did...but if you stay with him and in the future you probably have to get involve with two of the babies mother.... and it would all become complicate.
If I was you, I wouldn't stay in the relationship because he wasn't honest.. that is important thing to say if you are in a serious relationship, also the future is probably going to be messy since he had 3 babies with 2 women.
24-05-11, 04:25 PM
hello1

Quote:

Originally Posted by Petit Papillon [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

He sounds a bit like a Baby Machine, it's possible that you'd be next incubator... Really, couldn't he tell you from the start ? It depends on you how much are you able to accept. Can you accept him and his 3 kids and 2 mothers of those kids? Cause they will be in your lives forver. I personally think you shouldn't stay with him ,but it depends on you .

I agree. Do you want two baby mums in your life? money well he be even more worse off for money now!