Why is he hitting on me.....

Ok, I'm really confused and this is making things harder for me. Bf and I broke up on Friday, we were dating for 6 months, exclusive/bf/gf for the past 3. There were incidents with other friends of his while we were going out and the subject of dating ex's had come up and he was very adamant that it was a dick move and he would flip out if any of his friends did that to him. Out of all of his friends there is one that he trusts the most and I would have agreed with that until today...

I told my ex-bf Friday that I would rather have his friend give me my things rather than him because I have no desire to ever see him again. I picked his best friend because I know we both trust him completely. So I messaged his friend on FB and we exchanged numbers to set up a time to meet for me to get my things. He has been texting and flirting with me ALL day. I am extremely confused by this, I never would have thought this guy would be doing this. He was even suggesting coming to see me tonight and he lives over an hour away.

My only conclusion is that he is either trying to take advantage of me given the situation or my ex was an even bigger douchebag and did something behind my back terrible enough for his best friend not to care about going after me. Or is there some other explanation for this? I know it may seem irrelevant but if it is because my bf had cheated on me or something terrible I really want to know that, maybe out of morbid curiosity but also because I think he is going to regret this and try to come get me back later.

So I guess my question is...what are the reasons you would ever consider going after one of your friends ex's, especially so soon after the break up?

Compared to women, most guys are practically obsessed with sex. There is nothing mysterious about this best friend's actions, just disappointing. I personally wouldn't go after my best friend's ex-girlfriend... unless she was hot and I thought that I had a shot. No, I probably still wouldn't do it.

He thinks you are hot and wants to hit that. Its pretty much all there is to it. I wouldn't do it to my best friend or really any friend for that matter, unless I barely knew them or something. Unfortunately, not all guys share that same mindset.

I guess I'm just over thinking his reasoning, which is nothing new for me lol. I'm really dissapointed in him that's for sure.

Maybe your ex and his best friend are setting you up? A "shit test" if you will.

Since your ex is against his friends dating his exs:

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the subject of dating ex's had come up and he was very adamant that it was a dick move and he would flip out if any of his friends did that to him.

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and then you asked one of his friend to deliver your stuff, maybe they are seeing if you would accept the advances of his friend? If you'd do that knowing how much he (your ex) is against it.

I wonder why you didn't ask one of YOUR friends to collect your stuff and leave his friends out of it?

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Originally Posted by Wakeup [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Maybe your ex and his best friend are setting you up? A "shit test" if you will.

Since your ex is against his friends dating his exs: and then you asked one of his friend to deliver your stuff, maybe they are seeing if you would accept the advances of his friend? If you'd do that knowing how much he (your ex) is against it.

I wonder why you didn't ask one of YOUR friends to collect your stuff and leave his friends out of it?

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Guys dont pull shit tests

Theres never an excuse to hit on a friends ex behind thier back....no way...never!!!! The only exception would be if you were friends first.

What do you mean incidents with other friends? They would hit on you while you were dating you're boyfriend?

I'll admit I dated a friend's ex for a while, not something I'm terribly proud of. We had a cordial relationship while they were going out and it never crossed my mind, but after they broke up she came on strong and it just happened. I think that if he wants to be with you he will just rationalize it no matter what, it would have nothing to do with anything your ex did while you were dating. That's how guys are.

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Originally Posted by VincenzoG91 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I personally wouldn't go after my best friend's ex-girlfriend... unless she was hot and I thought that I had a shot.

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LOL ... so you would ;o)

He's not a real friend to your ex that's for sure.

But yea, he's horny and wants to stick it in. Simple.

Surfhb, some guys do pull shit tests. And I think this sounds like one.

None of my friends know him or the area where he lives so I wouldn't have asked them. All of our time spent together was in his town and if he did come to see me (rarely--reason 1 we broke up) it was just us and we didn't hang out with my friends it was just us. But I did know all of his friends pretty well and felt comfortable asking him. My best friend thinks it's a "shit test" but I don't know about that.

The reason I said incidents have happened is because one of their guy friends died and a month later a friend of theirs was sleeping with the deceased guys gf. That same friend was then also trying to hook up with my bf's ex. So the topic came up about what a dick this guy was and how none of them could trust him..and this conversation took place with me there, my bf and said friend that is hitting on me. They all seemed genuinely put off by the act so it's why I'm thinking my ex must have cheated on me or done something really bad to have his friend not caring.

I asked him flat out last night through texting why he was talking to me like that because it seemed odd and he said quote: "I thought u were pretty first time i saw you and thought, what you doin with him...he's a very good friend but I don't like how he treats women"

Oh well...I'm not gonna do anything with his friend I'm just thinking too much about what this has to do with my ex. In reality I just need to stop thinking about all of them.

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Originally Posted by surfhb [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Guys dont pull shit tests

Theres never an excuse to hit on a friends ex behind thier back....no way...never!!!! The only exception would be if you were friends first.

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Oh, men certainly do pull shit tests.. I just read a thread where the guy set his gf up by getting his friend to pretend that he was someone else while he hit on her dating profile. She failed.

So ...

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In reality I just need to stop thinking about all of them.

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Good move, Op.

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Originally Posted by Riku [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I asked him flat out last night through texting why he was talking to me like that because it seemed odd and he said quote: "I thought u were pretty first time i saw you and thought, what you doin with him...he's a very good friend but I don't like how he treats women

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Translation: "You're hot and probably vulnerable, just my type. Friend who?"

Friends ex are a hard things. i was in the situation where i ended my friendship with my best friend but continued to talk to his ex gf. we were friends before and he went out and cheated on her with about 4 or 5 different people. now a year later im like best friends with him again and she ran into me eating out one night and invited herself to my house for when i have bon fires...

the friends ex can just lead into a messy situation i think, but it would depend on both people posibly knowing.

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Originally Posted by MaidenMinx [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Surfhb, some guys do pull shit tests. And I think this sounds like one.

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Sorry.... Just have been clearer. I meant mature guys who arent in high school and/or have a set of balls

Any man who would try to set up a gf to test her fidelity.... Not to mention the bastard friend who helps out, iis a complete sack of shit ! :)

Agreed surf. Unfortunately there are a lot of sacks of shit in the world. :)

well, yea. This "friend" of Op's ex agreed on "bros before hoes" (thats the horrible expression, right?) but then turns around and according to OP he's seeing how far he can get so, I'm thinkin, yea; he'd qualify for the "complete sack of shit" title.

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So I guess my question is...what are the reasons you would ever consider going after one of your friends ex's, especially so soon after the break up?

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Uhm... Shit test?

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Agreed surf. Unfortunately there are a lot of sacks of shit in the world.

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Yep!

Or...

Your ex-BF's friend correctly surmises that you're not owned by your ex, and neither is he. Now that you're broken up, you're fair game.

Though frankly, a woman dumped by my best friend (or who dumped my best friend) is almost certainly not somebody I'd be interested in. Being his best friend, I'd already know all about what's wrong with her, LOL.

There is nothing wrong with me! LOL...I am kinda bitchy today though..god that other thread has me all cranky!!

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Originally Posted by Riku [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

There is nothing wrong with me! LOL...I am kinda bitchy today though..god that other thread has me all cranky!!

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I'd bet if we asked your ex, he'd disagree...

And if you asked my ex, she'd give you a friggin' laundry list.

No he would actually agree and I'm quite positive about that. I'm not perfect but he has absolutely nothing to complain about on me.

If you say so.