Message a female colleague on facebook for the first time ?

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17-07-11, 12:28 PM
screwdriver

Message a female colleague on facebook for the first time ?

hi there,

So there's this girl that works (studies) in the same building as where my office is but we are on different floors. The thing is that we have seen each other couple of times in the corridor / hallway /... and had eye contacts but unfortunately not spoken a word or even a smile. however i've the feeling that she's interested and i'm attracted to her too. Now I've been waiting to get a chance to see her again in the corridor or sth and it is just not happening (because of wrong timings or whatever). I mean I really want to see her again and say at least the damn "hi". The problem is that I never see her alone, she always has a company which makes it very hard for me to go and talk to her. So as she was suggested as "people you may know" on facebook to me sometime ago, I was wondering if you think it makes sense to send her a message on facebook or even send her an email to her work email address and start the conversation? or it will make a coward out of me implying i don't have the guts to say hi to her face ? by the way this is my first time ever with a girl. I like her but i dont want o go to her office for no reason because it would be very abnormal. I also know that we have some differences that may be a deal breaker from her side like that she smokes and drinks and i don't. I mention this because I'm afraid I send a message or sth and then after 1st time or so we find out we are not good for each other and then as we are colleagues it may seem awkward between us afterwards. Ok...I know I'm getting a lot ahead of myself so please ..i need some advice.

One more thing : I just found a cell-phone number that is probably her's on internet. Do you think its creepy to call her on phone for the first time like this ?is it the same as writing a message on facebook ?
Anyway, how can I get to meet her ? as I said I dont even meet her in the hallway in the past weeks. I mean I haven't even talked to her, How can I just go to her office or sth and invite her ? I'm waiting for a joint event or sth happen or that i see her somewhere to make a move, but this waiting is killing me...speaking of which a few days ago i saw her in public transport and she went to sit few sits behind me in the bus and staring to talk on phone..I missed this chance too...

..may be she's not into me after all..:upset:
17-07-11, 01:07 PM
Mark1

Yes, its perfectly acceptable to call up a complete stranger on their cell phone.
17-07-11, 01:21 PM
Wakeup

^^^^ Sarcasm alert :)
17-07-11, 03:14 PM
Mathias

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mark1 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Yes, its perfectly acceptable to call up a complete stranger on their cell phone.

This is a pretty awesome post on so many levels.
17-07-11, 03:31 PM
smackie9

LOL ew creepy and you know it dude. Just be patient, wait to run into her again....you will get your chance.
17-07-11, 03:57 PM
Horseyguy

I think it's cute that he's stalking her and I'm sure she will be flattered at the effort he went to get her phone number and call her out of the blue

Still don't think it's a big enough gesture though, maybe something more fitting like climbing in her bedroom window when she's asleep . That should get her attention
17-07-11, 04:04 PM
Mathias

Quote:

Originally Posted by Horseyguy [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I think it's cute that he's stalking her and I'm sure she will be flattered at the effort he went to get her phone number and call her out of the blue

Still don't think it's a big enough gesture though, maybe something more fitting like climbing in her bedroom window when she's asleep . That should get her attention

No, climbing in her bedroom is just over the line.

I'd get a boom box, see. 80's style. Then, I'd play her favorite song on full blast while holding it over my head.
17-07-11, 06:16 PM
screwdriver

lol, thanx guys for lightening me up with your humor...I think i need to brake ...
17-07-11, 06:38 PM
The Gent

It's simple dude, march into her office, tell her you LOVE staring at her. Then suggest going out for drinks.
If that doesn't work, then yeah I'd try calling her as often you can manage.
18-07-11, 11:04 AM
smackie9

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Gent [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

It's simple dude, march into her office, tell her you LOVE staring at her. Then suggest going out for drinks.
If that doesn't work, then yeah I'd try calling her as often you can manage.

Actually you do have a point there......just need to stop staring and step up and talk to her.....the confident approach is the only way to get a date out of anyone.
18-07-11, 12:03 PM
Mark1

Marry her.
18-07-11, 02:20 PM
MerryH

Quote:

Originally Posted by screwdriver [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

lol, thanx guys for lightening me up with your humor...I think i need to brake ...

Aw, you're a good sport. I've seen OPs have meltdowns over less. You're a champ.

Honest advice, though: You should speak to her face-to-face before emailing or calling her. What about lunchtime? Is there a cafeteria or a lunchroom or something like that where you could run into her? Maybe you could invite a few coworkers out for drinks after work. Try to get a coworker who knows her to invite her along.
19-07-11, 12:15 AM
The Gent

Quote:

Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Actually you do have a point there......just need to stop staring and step up and talk to her.....the confident approach is the only way to get a date out of anyone.

Agreed Smackie. I've been kinda seeing a girl, although we haven't had an official date yet. Rewind to last night where I finally plucked up the courage to ask her on a real date.....and we ended up arranging two for this week!
Confidence is the key :)
19-07-11, 01:16 AM
HeartIsAching

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Gent [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Agreed Smackie. I've been kinda seeing a girl, although we haven't had an official date yet. Rewind to last night where I finally plucked up the courage to ask her on a real date.....and we ended up arranging two for this week!
Confidence is the key :)

Exactly. 20 years ago when I spotted my wife (at a gathering with my GF) I asked my GF at the time (classy, I know) who's THAT?! she said "Oh, that's B______." and went back to her conversation. I marched my skinny young ass up there and introduced myself... we talked for an hour.
19-07-11, 01:21 AM
The Gent

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeartIsAching [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Exactly. 20 years ago when I spotted my wife (at a gathering with my GF) I asked my GF at the time (classy, I know) who's THAT?! she said "Oh, that's B______." and went back to her conversation. I marched my skinny young ass up there and introduced myself... we talked for an hour.

That's awesome man. 20 years & still going strong huh. I love tales of romance.

Alas, I think that my fellow dudes sometimes forget that girls have feelings too & see them as some kind of unapproachable fiends who'll belittle them instantly.
19-07-11, 01:23 AM
HeartIsAching

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Gent [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

That's awesome man. 20 years & still going strong huh. I love tales of romance.

Alas, I think that my fellow dudes sometimes forget that girls have feelings too & see them as some kind of unapproachable fiends who'll belittle them instantly.

Nah, 20 years and I finally got her. But we've been best friends and off-and-on lovers for 20 years.
19-07-11, 01:28 AM
The Gent

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeartIsAching [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Nah, 20 years and I finally got her. But we've been best friends and off-and-on lovers for 20 years.

Ahh my mistake. But, still, it's nice to know people out there are in love :)

God, what's wrong with me today lol. I'm in an unusually good mood!
19-07-11, 05:24 AM
HeartIsAching

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Gent [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Ahh my mistake. But, still, it's nice to know people out there are in love :)

God, what's wrong with me today lol. I'm in an unusually good mood!

Nothin's wrong with that. Nothing boosts a good mood like spreading it around.