Love Problem...Help

Here is my situation and I ask you to please not be prejudice or sterotype in your responses...

Ok, I am 16 years old and surprisingly..I have always had an attraction to grown "adult" women and not any of my "peer" teen girls around me. Even so, that I lost my virginity to a married 32 year old women :) lol....truthfully..

Well, my situation is this.. I met a women online who I adore to the fullest with all my heart. Problem is, she is 27 years old and she has a daughter who is 12...:( We have been talking on the phone, online, e-mail, mail etc. for about 6 months now and have become very intimate in our conversations. She lives San Francisco 2,000 miles away from me in Indiana...I communicate with her like I a soul mate to be honest.. We connect on levels of such love and desire, her presence allures me to her in every aspect. I talk to her and her daughter on a very mature level and with a sense of adulthood may I say..and everything has been perfect to put things...

Many people will say at my age, I dont know the meaning of love or that I am to young to know what I am getting into, but they are wrong. Even though I am 16 chronologically...I have the mental mind of a 26 year old and the capabilities to emotionally accept my responsibilities, obligations, and the realities all around me...and I know that I can make this work on my end....

She is willing to accept the fact of the age gap that I am so-called 18 years old, when in fact im only 16....

I have been thinking and I honestly want to tell her the truth for lieing never starts good relationships.......

I dont know how to break it to her because im honestly worried that it would end what we have created together....I dont want our feelings for each to change anybit......

To be honest, I wish I was in this same situation 2 years from now...not 2 years early :(.......

Even moreso, whats going to be harder is breaking the news to my mother...who I know will be prejudice and sterotype about our relationship....

You can love at any age.....thats my feelings on this...

I know there are legal technicallites and my mother will be the first to point that out when she finds out im sure, but Im hoping things can work out between me and my women.....

People wouldnt make such a big deal years down the road when im 20 and she is 32.....but thats down the road...right now, this is rocky for me because im only 16...:(

Is there any harm in NOT being sexual with her but, dating her instead since im not 18 yet...????

I dont know what to do.....please help....

Aw dude, gettin' it on with a milf! You are a god in my eyes.

Tell her you are 16 and then see what she says. Until then, I don't see any need to go any further with this fiscad, or this conversation. You are lying to her and to yourself. When she finds out you are in fact 16, and illegal, chances are pretty good this whole charade will dissolve right in front of you.

Unless of course, the woman you are with is an immature fat biddy that couldn't get laid by a man if she tried, hence the reason she is shopping at the local High-School.

The longer you go on in this lie, the worse it will be. Trust me. Don't wait until later.

Quote:

---

Is there any harm in NOT being sexual with her but, dating her instead since im not 18 yet...????

---

What the hell are you talking about "dating" her...? She is 2,000 miles away!? What kind of dating do you think you will be doing? Do you honestly think you are going to just up and move out there and everything is going to be hunky dory?

Quote:

---

Many people will say at my age, I don’t know the meaning of love or that I am to young to know what I am getting into, but they are wrong. Even though I am 16 chronologically...I have the mental mind of a 26 year old and the capabilities to emotionally accept my responsibilities, obligations, and the realities all around me...and I know that I can make this work on my end

---

Rule #1. Never come into an online forum and tell us just how mature you think you are. All that shows us is that you are some punk kid with a chip on his shoulder who was told by some lame "test" that he could read at a higher level. If you really think you are "mature" in that sense, then let us decide for ourselves. Don't insult our intelligence by spouting off that you are some kid genius. If it is the case, we will decide that on our own.

#2. It's obvious you have absolutely no idea what "obligations" or "realities" you are talking about. Do you really think you know this person? Do you really think she knows you? (Obviously not, Mr. 16) The internet is such a fun and great place for everyone to be whomever they want. The phone is the same way. Do you really think you know anything about work? Bills? Jobs? Raising kids? Romance?

No, you don't. You haven't experienced any of these yet. And before you start talking to us just how much you know about life, why don't you start by being honest with us, and most importantly, with her.

Okay, Im not trying to being harsh or prejudiced, but there are a few things you need to understand:

1) You are SIXTEEN. I know you feel like you are much more mature than you are and that you are as mature as a 26 year old, but I can tell you right now that every 16 yr old in the world feels the same way. Hell, I did. Truth is, when I look back (I'm 25 now), I realize I wasn't anywhere close to it.

2) Any 27 yr old woman who would date a high schooler is not very mature HERSELF. So maybe you think you are as mature as her, but the truth is she is actually immature, being in that she doesn't have the social skills to maintain (or want!) a relationship with a man her own age. It sounds like this woman has a lot of issues of her own to deal with.

3) How would you feel if your mother dated someone 4 years older than you? Wouldn't that make you ill?

4) I'm sure that if she knew you were really 16, there would be no further interest on her part (and if there was, someone really needs to lock her up and have her daughter put with someone who can raise her with proper morals). Her interest in you is largely based on a lie. Remember that.

I guess the bottom line here is that this relationship is wrong wrong wrong on so many levels I could go on all day but I don't want to hurt your feelings.

Quote:

---

I guess the bottom line here is that this relationship is wrong wrong wrong on so many levels I could go on all day but I don't want to hurt your feelings.

---

That's why I'm here.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jaba_is_my_toy

Even so, that I lost my virginity to a married 32 year old women :) lol....truthfully..

---

Ok ok I forgot about this part.....I can't believe just told everyone you lost your virginity to a married woman and then 'laughed' about it. This obviously proves you are nowhere near as mature as you think you are.....you don't understand that you have violated someone's marriage. That your actions could potentially ruin someone else's life. I don't know where you live, but where I live I'm pretty sure that's considered statutory rape. It is almost the furthest thing from funny, impressive, or mature that I can imagine.

have you ever met this woman? is she married?

27 is young to have a 12 year old. she was 15. (just thinking aloud)

are you certain this woman feels the same about you? i'm sure you'll find out once you come clean about your age, which you ought to do if you respect this person.

don't pretend to be older than you are. it's insulting to those of us who are older than you and have experienced and grown beyond your comprehension. you are 16 and there's nothing wrong with that.

and i agree, sleeping with an older married woman is not a laughing matter. although i question why she would have done it herself.

talk to girls your own age. that's my advice.

oh, and wear condoms.

this boggles my mind. there's so many things wrong with this i hardly know where to begin. everyone's comments so far have been right on the mark. there's nothing wrong with being attracted to older women, but the reality of having a relationship with one is something else entirely. find someone closer to your own age.

Can I ask this question....

Would you still feel this way if I was 18 and she is 30 a few years down the road? Or when Im 20 and she is 32?

Also, yes...her daughter is 12...she was 15 when got pregnant in High School...

P.S. I am over the age of consent in my state.....

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jaba_is_my_toy

P.S. I am over the age of consent in my state.....

---

Then why the hell not? It's not gonna hurt us none. If you muff up it's all on you.

i agree with nomas's age/percentage thing. i think he should come in here and explain it to you. nomaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas...

I'm sixteen, and if I even thought of having sex with a 32 year old married man, I would have been very, very ashamed of myself.

The advice that has already been given is the ones you should follow. Tell her, and break it off. Maybe in four years you could date her daughter.

Edit; Gah, keep forgetting that I'm seventeen.

Quote:

---

Can I ask this question....

Would you still feel this way if I was 18 and she is 30 a few years down the road? Or when Im 20 and she is 32?

---

Depends. That obviously isn't the sitution, so it really doesn't matter does it? That would be an entirely different story. You would be old enough to make your own decisions, work on your own, move if you wanted to, react to the situation a little differently. Honestly, if you were to suddenly be out there right now, this person would literally have to act as your mother figure until the age of 18.

Quote:

---

P.S. I am over the age of consent in my state.....

---

That might be true, but in California you are still a minor.

Oh gowd.. I don't even know where to start on this one! The thought of a "woman" (term used lightly in this case) involving herself with a 16 year old child scares the hell out of me.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jaba_is_my_toy

Can I ask this question....

Would you still feel this way if I was 18 and she is 30 a few years down the road? Or when Im 20 and she is 32?

---

Honestly, when you are 18+, and finished school, and no longer dependent on your parents, then that is a different story. There is also quite a difference between 16 and 18, you will see when you get there.

Secondly, the other half of this problem is HER. The big issue is what is going on in this woman's head that would make her want to date someone who could date her daughter (in a few years)? Is she insecure? Immature? Does she lack the common morals to function normally in society? I'm 25, and to be honest, the idea of dating even a 20 yr old to me is sickening. Most guys my OWN AGE aren't even mature enough, why the hell would I want to go younger?? Hell no.

you say you are mature mate, but have you ever met this woman? How can you speak of love if you havent? For all you know she is lying back to you...she could be 50 with 4 kids, hell she could even be a 40 year old balding man! Think about this carefully as you are lying to her about your age, so it is easily done.

In my eyes having a relationship over the internet is way of hiding from the real world. Yes, i know a lot of people have met thru the internet and fallen in love, got married and lived happily ever after, but this is all after they have met, and usually when they are out of high school. So you say you are mature but seem to be hiding behind your computer screen, instead of going out there into the real world and meeting girls your own age at school and stuff.

What kind of future do you see in this if you claim to be so in love with her? Are you going to move to her so you can be with her, because you cannot 'date' very well with so many miles between you. Can you provide a stable life for her and her child? Go to work every day? Pay the bills, mortgage, food and clothes instead of getting that latest PS2 game or new trainers? And how do u think her kid would feel? How would you feel now if your mom dated a guy who was 18?

I know everyone is being harsh here but it really is for your own good. Your only young, you have your whole life ahead of you to meet girls, this isnt the one for you, in my eyes she sounds like a woman who is extremely lonely and just looking for people to talk to. She could still be married for all you know, her husband is just not paying her enuff attention so she goes and sits in front of a computer screen. Its kinda a way of not facing real problems, and backing into your own world.

Anyway whatever the situation its a way out of your 16 year old hands, no matter how mature you believe them to be...